Girl, Stop Passing Out in Your Makeup: The Bad Girl's Guide to Getting Your Sh*t Together

by Zara Barrie

Overview

Finally, a self-help book for the millennial party girl who hates bullshit advice from “experts” who know nothing about the trauma of drinking and sex, the acute pressure of keeping up with the rest of the Adderall poppin' world, and the insecurity that comes along with feeling like you have to be thin and gorgeous and sparkly in order to be seen.

“Self-help meets memoir. Party girl meets wise sage. Beauty meets reality. Zara Barrie is the cool older sister you wish you had. The one that lets you borrow her designer dresses and ripped up fishnets, buys you champagne (she loves you too much to let you drink beer), and colors your lips with bright pink lipstick. She'll take you to the coolest parties, and will stick by your side and she guides you through the glitter, pain, danger, laughter, and what it means to be a f*cked up girl in this f*cked up world (both of which are beautiful despite the darkness). Girl, Stop Passing Out in Your Makeup is for the girls that are too much of a beautiful contradiction to be contained. Zara is a gifted writer—one second she'll have you laughing over rich girls agonizing over which Birkin bag to buy, the next second she'll shatter your heart in one sentence about losing one’s innocence. Zara is the nuanced girl she writes for—light, irreverent, snarky, bitchy, funny; and aching, perceptive, deep, flawed, wise, poised, honest—all at once. Perhaps the only thing that can match Zara's unparalleled wit and big sister advice is her candid humor and undeniable talent for the written word. Zara is one of the most prolific and entertaining honest voices on the internet—and her talent is only multiplied in book form. Girl, Stop Passing Out in Your Makeup is for the bad girls, honey.”—Dayna Troisi, Executive Editor, GO Magazine

“Reading Zara's writing will make you feel like you're at your cool-as-hell big sister's sleepover party. You will be transfixed by her unflinching honesty and words of wisdom, and she'll successfully convince you to not only ditch the shame you feel about the raw and messy parts of yourself, but to dare to see them as beautiful.”—Alexia LaFata, Editor, New York Magazine

“If Cat Marnell and F. Scott Fitzgerald had a literary baby it would be Zara Barrie. She’s got Marnell’s casual, dark, downright hilarious tone of an irreverent party girl. But then she also has Fitzgerald’s talent for making words literally feel like they sparkle on the page. I’ve always been a fan of Zara’s writing but Girl, Stop Passing Out in Your Makeup takes it to the next level. With shimmery words that make her dark stories sparkle, she seamlessly manages to inspire even the most coked-out girl at the party to get her shit together.”—Candice Jalili, Senior Sex & Dating Writer, Elite Daily

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781642934632
Publisher:	Post Hill Press
Publication date:	05/19/2020
Pages:	272
Sales rank:	186,525
Product dimensions:	5.60(w) x 8.40(h) x 1.00(d)

About the Author

Zara Barrie is the former Senior Sex & Dating writer for Elite Daily, the current senior writer at GO Magazine and founder of The Dirty Beauty, a wellness blog for bad girls. She identifies as a mascara lesbian and lives beyond her means in New York.

Table of Contents

Foreword I Slept in My Makeup Last Night xiii

Chapter 1 Feelings Can't Kill You 1

Chapter 2 An Ode to the Girls Who Grew Up Too Fast 18

Chapter 3 PSA: Don't Take Adderall to Party 32

Chapter 4 The Toxic Relationship with Myself 38

Chapter 5 The Beauty of the Breakup 56

Chapter 6 PSA: Beware of Validation Sex 69

Chapter 7 Talk Mental Illness to Me 75

Chapter 8 Lez Talk About Sex 96

Chapter 9 PSA: Don't Starve and Drink 112

Chapter 10 The Body Wants What You Give It 116

Chapter 11 Drugs, Music Festivals, and Creepy Men 127

Chapter 12 PSA: Strong Women Own Their Mistakes 134

Chapter 13 Praying to Lana Del Rey 141

Chapter 14 PSA: You Deserve to Have a Good Time at the Pool Party 156

Chapter 15 It's Okay to Be a Cold Bitch Sometimes 162

Chapter 16 PSA: Bottomless Mimosas are Taking You Down 168

Chapter 17 Confessions of a Reckless Spender 172

Chapter 18 The Great Toxic Relationship Cleanse 187

Chapter 19 PSA: Beware of Drinking and Bleeding 204

Chapter 20 How to Eat a Piece of Pizza Without Wanting to Die 208

Chapter 21 How To Channel Your Wild Creativity Into Wild Productivity 223

Chapter 22 You Are Your Own Ride or Die 236

Acknowledgments 243

Editorial Reviews

"Love this book! Zara Barrie has a wicked skill for spinning vulnerable, piercingly honest tales of sex, drugs, and transgression while poignantly leading her reader and herself towards hope and enlightenment. A book about GIRL Power in the age of anxiety that will resonate with today's women looking for something much more than just happy ever after—at least in the traditional sense. Read it to understand what dangerous girls with glittering eyes are thinking and feeling as they learn to conquer their demons and triumph."

KT Curran

"Reading Zara's writing will make you feel like you're at your cool-as-hell big sister's sleepover party. You will be transfixed by her unflinching honesty and words of wisdom, and she'll successfully convince you to not only ditch the shame you feel about the raw and messy parts of yourself, but to dare to see them as beautiful."

Alexia LaFata

"Zara has the rare talent of marching into the deepest, darkest moments of life—the mascara-teared and alcohol-soaked—scooping them up, and thrusting them into the light with amazing clarity, forgiveness, and compassion. As her editor at Elite Daily, I had the honor of watching Zara blossom into the emotionally raw and poetic writer she is now. Her gripping first-person narratives help every woman (including me) come to terms with her own demons or insecurities in a refreshingly comfortable way. There's a reason she's built up an army of 'babes' who are empowered by the words of their dear big sister, Z: Her candid honesty and no bullshit advice are simply addicting."

Faye Brennan

"If Cat Marnell and F. Scott Fitzgerald had a literary baby it would be Zara Barrie. She's got Marnell's casual, dark, downright hilarious tone of an irreverent party girl. But then she also has Fitzgerald's talent for making words literally feel like they sparkle on the page. You instantly feel more glamorous after reading a page of Zara's writing, even when the page is talking about getting into a screaming match with her girlfriend outside of a bar on a Sarasota street corner while high on benzos. I've always been a fan of Zara's writing, but Girl, Stop Passing Out in Your Makeup takes it to the next level. With shimmery words that make her dark stories sparkle, she seamlessly manages to inspire even the most coked-out girl at the party to get her shit together."

Candice Jalili

"Self-help meets memoir. Party girl meets wise sage. Beauty meets reality. Zara Barrie is the cool older sister you wish you had. The one that lets you borrow her designer dresses and ripped up fishnets, buys you champagne (she loves you too much to let you drink beer), and colors your lips with bright pink lipstick. She'll take you to the coolest parties, and will stick by your side and she guides you through the glitter, pain, danger, laughter, and what it means to be a f*cked up girl in this f*cked up world (both of which are beautiful despite the darkness). Girl, Stop Passing Out in Your Makeup is for the girls that are too much of a beautiful contradiction to be contained. Zara is a gifted writer—one second she'll have you laughing over rich girls agonizing over which Birkin bag to buy, the next second she'll shatter your heart in one sentence about losing one's innocence. Zara is the nuanced girl she writes for—light, irreverent, snarky, bitchy, funny; and aching, perceptive, deep, flawed, wise, poised, honest—all at once. Perhaps the only thing that can match Zara's unparalleled wit and big sister advice is her candid humor and undeniable talent for the written word. Zara is one of the most prolific and entertaining honest voices on the internet—and her talent is only multiplied in book form. Girl, Stop Passing Out in Your Makeup is for the bad girls, honey."

Danya Troisi

"Reading Zara is like reading your own thoughts—only sexier and much more brilliantly written."

Kaitlyn Cawley