|Publisher:||Tyndale House Publishers|
|Product dimensions:||6.00(w) x 9.00(h) x 0.80(d)|
|Age Range:||12 - 16 Years|
Read an Excerpt
Girl Talk Guy Talk
Devotions for Teens
By Karen Whiting, Jesse Florea
Tyndale House Publishers, Inc.Copyright © 2017 Karen Whiting and Jesse Florea
All rights reserved.
PART ONE The True You
Growing up isn't just about more birthdays or reaching the age to drive or vote.
That part is easy. Getting older happens naturally. Becoming the true you, on the other hand, takes effort. God knows the true you. He wants to see that you grow. He wants your relationships to thrive so you can be happy and spread his love.
Being real is the first part of building healthy relationships. The next part is connecting to others through communicating. That includes expressing who you are and what you believe, as well as valuing the words and thoughts of others.
As you jump into this book, be ready to think about who you are and the person you want to become. You may need to answer some important questions:
What do I value?
How can I best use my words to connect with people?
What do I want in life, and how can my words express that?
Answer honestly. Dig into what you truly believe. The goal of communication is understanding. This book will help you become a better communicator. It'll help you understand guys and girls; it will also help you understand yourself. Your true self, that is.
For Guys and Girls
CQ: Communication Quotient Quiz
Circle the answer that best describes you.
1. When I talk with someone of the opposite sex
a. I can't open my mouth out of fear.
b. I usually say something lame.
c. It's easy for me, since I have brothers/sisters.
d. I feel comfortable because I enjoy a good chat.
2. The easiest topic to talk about with someone of the opposite sex is
c. no topic. I can't talk to guys/girls.
d. friends, hobbies, food, anything really.
3. If someone of the opposite sex is acting weird, I
b. join in.
c. get away fast.
d. make fun of him/her.
4. When it comes to talking,
a. I can easily monopolize the conversation.
b. I speak only when asked a question.
c. I talk half the time and listen the other half.
d. I like to talk, but no one seems to listen.
5. When someone of the opposite sex talks to me, I
a. look him/her in the eye and listen.
b. look down at the floor.
c. turn beet red and can hardly breathe.
d. give the best response I can come up with quickly.
6. If I mess up and say something wrong in front of someone of the opposite sex,
a. I giggle or say, "Oops, my bad!" and correct myself.
b. I pretend it never happened.
c. I clam up and stop talking.
d. I smile, apologize, and start over.
7. If I like someone of the opposite sex,
a. I smile and compliment him/her.
b. I ask a friend to talk to him/her for me.
c. I just daydream about him/her. I'm too afraid to talk to my crush.
d. I ask questions to find out more about him/her.
8. If someone of the opposite sex hurts my feelings, I would
a. avoid him/her.
b. get angry.
c. ask a friend to tell him/her how I feel.
d. tell him/her that I'm hurt, since he/she probably doesn't have a clue.
9. I like a guy/girl who
a. makes me laugh.
b. is kind.
c. is patient.
d. actually likes me for me.
10. When someone of the opposite sex asks me a question, I
a. mumble an answer.
b. start to answer, then ramble on and on.
c. answer and ask a question back.
d. answer and wait for him/her to ask another question.
11. If the guy/girl I'm going out with wants to get physical, I
a. escape and keep from being alone with that person.
b. go with the flow.
c. pull out my cell phone and show him/her some cat videos.
d. explain why I choose to remain pure.
12. Breaking up is hard. It's best to
a. be honest and say he/she has good qualities but explain that we're not the best match.
b. avoid him/her until he/she gets the message.
c. ask a friend to tell him/her.
d. text him/her myself.
1. a=1, b=2, c=3, d=4; 2. a=2, b=3, c=1, d=4; 3. a=3, b=4, c=2, d=1; 4. a=3, b=1, c=4, d=2; 5. a=4, b=2, c=1, d=3; 6. a=3, b=2, c=1, d=4; 7. a=3, b=2, c=1, d=4; 8. a=2, b=1, c=3, d=4; 9. a=4, b=4, c=4, d=4; 10. a=1, b=2, c=4, d=3; 11. a=3, b=1, c=2, d=4; 12. a=4, b=1, c=3, d=2.
Add up your score:
15–20 points. Looks like you have a real fear of talking with guys/ girls and being around them. Try talking with people of the opposite sex in your youth group or another setting where you feel comfortable. You could even ask for some tips from your mom or dad. Relax a bit. The guys/girls you're talking to are probably afraid too.
21–30 points. You probably feel a bit awkward around guys/girls. You may even try to get friends to talk to them for you when you need to speak up (hint: this is rarely a good idea). Keep reading! You'll get lots more tips in this book.
31–40 points. You're fairly comfortable with guys/girls. Your reactions may still be a bit immature sometimes, but keep working at it.
41–48 points. You have a great maturity and comfort around guys/ girls. You're confident and considerate. You're the one who helps guys and girls get more comfortable with one another. Maybe you could be a small group leader at church.
The right word spoken at the right time can be golden. People sometimes say that silence is golden, but a good conversation can be even more so. Communication is about choosing words that build relationships and connect with other people.
How'd you do on the quiz? (Tough way to start a book, right?) The good news is that plenty of the book is left, and communication is a skill you'll develop with practice.
WORD OF TRUTH
Like apples of gold in settings of silver is a word spoken in right circumstances. PROVERBS 25:11, NASB
What makes you laugh?
Videos of cats running into paper bags are pretty cute ... and funny. A TV sitcom or romantic comedy can be good for a chuckle. Sometimes a well-told joke can tickle our funny bones.
Girl: So what do you want for Christmas?
Guy: A speaker system with a car wrapped around it.
Girl 1: Don't you wish you had a special guy in your life?
Girl 2: No, I'm willing to wait for my knight in shining armor.
Girl 1: I'd settle for one in aluminum foil.
Okay, those jokes may not make you laugh, but looking for the humorous side of life can make things more fun. Sometimes we can take friendship troubles, bad-hair days, and social-media likes too seriously. Sure, there's a time to buckle down and be serious. But don't be afraid to loosen up and enjoy the roller coasters of life.
Laughter is good medicine. Humor helps people cope and relieves tension. It's one of the best tools to keep relationships healthy, so it's good to develop a sense of humor if your hopes for the future include building a strong marriage. Guys tend to be better at laughing things off than girls — and it's been that way for a long time. In the Bible, Job was having one of the most terrible times ever. His friend Bildad said that God would fill his mouth with laughter. He trusted that Job would find humor in life again.
More recently a mom in Florida told her extended family that she and her son had survived a terrible hurricane by relying on God's Word, prayer, and a little laughter. During the storm, she'd read the Bible and prayed. After a while she came to the story of Jesus calming a storm. Suddenly, all the noise outside stopped. Following a few minutes of silence, the boy said, "You should have read that one first, Mom."
When you're in a stressful situation, look around to find something silly. Look for something to laugh about. By developing your sense of humor, you'll be able to see the funny side of life. And people may have an easier time getting to know you.
WORD OF TRUTH
He will once again fill your mouth with laughter and your lips with shouts of joy.
Got a Funny Feeling?
Who do you think a girl would rather go out with?
a. Bozo the Clown
b. Albert Einstein
They've both got great hair. But the answer is a. Girls like funny guys more than smart guys. That's what a national men's magazine found when they surveyed more than one thousand women. This same study also discovered that kindness ranked high as a character trait.
The problem with a lot of humor is that it's not kind. It's cutting and cruel. It puts down and pokes fun. Mimicking the way somebody talks may make your friends laugh on the outside, but most people don't really appreciate that kind of humor.
The Bible doesn't either. Ephesians 5:4 says, "Obscene stories, foolish talk, and coarse jokes — these are not for you."
Many popular comedians cross the line into cussing or telling inappropriate stories to get a laugh. It's natural to want to repeat their jokes to your friends, but you don't have to follow in their footsteps. Look for things that are truly funny, like when a cat runs into a paper bag. ( Just kidding.)
A lot of humor comes down to individual preference. Some people love slapstick. Others enjoy a good pun. Your taste in humor can change as you grow.
You probably thought this joke was hilarious when you were a kid:
Q: Why should students wear glasses when they do math?
A: To improve di-vision.
(Okay, that's still hilarious. But you've probably outgrown chickens crossing the road.)
So as you hang out with girls, try to discover what kind of humor they like. Maybe you can joke about your favorite movie or TV show. Or they may enjoy hearing an embarrassing story about you. Keep in mind that kindness and humor should go hand in hand. Your friends want to laugh with you — not at somebody's expense.
So if a girl laughs at your gross joke, know she's probably not laughing on the inside. Instead she may be thinking, This isn't the kind of guy that I want to be with.
WORD OF TRUTH
Obscene stories, foolish talk, and coarse jokes — these are not for you. Instead, let there be thankfulness to God. EPHESIANS 5:4
Girl Talk What's Your Rep?
Have you ever stood near someone who reeked? You probably got away as fast as possible. A bad reputation, like a bad smell, can also cause people to avoid us.
What people think of us can make a difference, for good or bad. Some girls are known for their brains, kindness, style, or athletic ability. Others might be known for being a flirt or for how far they'll go with guys.
Sometimes a reputation is based on facts. Other times rumors and lies paint the wrong picture of a person. Do you know what people say about you? Ask a few friends what they know about your reputation. List words used to describe you:
Do the lists match up? If not, try these tactics:
Gossip and rumors usually die down if you don't feed them. Ignore the lies and work on developing your character.
If lies spread, know you're not alone. Nearly one out of five high school girls have been victims of sexual rumors.
Rebuilding your reputation takes time. Work on it, one person at a time. Make sure your true friends have the real story and enlist their help with combating the rumors.
If things get really intense, ask a parent or other trusted adult for help. You don't have to deal with this alone.
Overcome the past ...
If there's truth behind your bad reputation, be honest — admit you've made mistakes, and tell people you've chosen to change.
Almost half of Facebook timeline pages have profanity. Delete the junk that others post on your space. You can also ask good friends to post positive comments about you to drown out negative voices.
If necessary, seek out new friends who will not judge you based on the past.
Get advice from someone who is older and wiser than you are. Ask a mature Christian to walk with you on your journey to a new reputation.
Build a good rep ...
Be genuine and caring toward others.
Focus on developing godly character traits:
Use clean language.
Keep your word.
Avoid solo dates or being alone with a guy.
Like a sweet perfume that leaves a pleasant scent, let your character leave a good impression on the people around you.
WORD OF TRUTH
A good reputation is more valuable than costly perfume. ECCLESIASTES 7:1
Protect Your Rep
What do you want to be known for? Do you want to be the guy who can throw down a monster dunk? (If so, you better start working on your vertical leap.) Or maybe you want to be the class clown. Some guys want to go out with as many girls as they can. Others just want to be the cool guy who never lets anything bother him.
Take some time to think, and then write down what you want to be known for: _______________________________
As a Christ follower, your reputation is important. You might be the only Christian some people know. Their opinion of you will influence their view of Jesus. That's why King Solomon wrote, "A good reputation is more valuable than costly perfume" (Ecclesiastes 7:1).
If you're having trouble coming up with traits that you want to be known for, think about these qualities of Christ:
Conviction. Know what God's Word says about what's right and wrong, and live according to those beliefs. Jesus stood for his convictions to the point of willingly dying on the cross. There was no compromise in Christ.
Responsibility. Do you make excuses, or do you follow through on your commitments? Take responsibility for your actions, admit when you're wrong, and always be trustworthy.
Understanding. Jesus knew God. (After all, he was God.)
Understanding God and his grace is one of the most important things we can do to build our character.
Cooperation. How do you help your friends? Who supports you? Jesus surrounded himself with trusted friends who could help when times got tough. And he made his friends better by encouraging them to grow closer to God.
If you haven't already, make a plan to build and then protect your reputation. When you take the step to pep up your rep, you'll have more success in life ... and with the ladies.
WORD OF TRUTH
A good reputation is more valuable than costly perfume. ECCLESIASTES 7:1
Take this true-or-false quiz:
True / False 1. Guys flock around me.
True / False 2. I have plenty of friends, so I'm not worried about popularity.
True / False 3. I have a close friend, but sometimes I wish I had more friends.
True / False 4. I feel lonely and maybe even cast out by popular kids.
What you marked to the above questions doesn't really matter. There are no right or wrong answers. What matters is that it's great to hang out with friends. They make us laugh. They share with us. They listen to us and care about what we say.
It really hurts to feel overlooked, like you blend into the scenery. But life at the top of the popularity food chain isn't all that it seems either. Popularity comes with pitfalls. It can be fleeting and fickle. So no matter how you answered the questions, don't ever give up on making new friends. Think about this ...
If you have a few friends, you are rich! Be thankful for the ones you have, and remember why you like them. Be open to others, but don't make becoming part of the "in crowd" a goal.
Jesus spent forty days in a desert, alone. After that, he surrounded himself with friends for the rest of his ministry. He understood loneliness. He found his worth in God. And he knew what it took to find good friends. Follow his footsteps.
The best way to make friends is to be a friend. Smile, be kind, and be open to talking to people. Seek friends who share your interests by joining groups related to your passions and hopes for the future.
Be confident. Lift up your head and remember that God will always love you. When the time is right, he'll send the right people into your life.
If you're already super popular, be gracious and kind. Be a good example of how to treat people. Don't put others down just to stay on top. Widen your circle of friends. Then you'll be an even better friend.
WORD OF TRUTH
Oh, dear Corinthian friends! We have spoken honestly with you, and our hearts are open to you. 2 CORINTHIANS 6:11
Guy Talk Popular Opinion There's no secret recipe for popularity. If there was a chemical formula, the science geniuses would figure it out, mix up a batch, and spray it all over their bodies. (Note: those Axe body spray commercials aren't real.)
When you look around, you probably notice the most intelligent students don't have the largest followings. If an equation were written, it might look like this:
Wisdom > Popularity
Jocks often find themselves at the top of the popularity food chain (not that jocks are necessarily dumb). Those deemed extremely attractive also make it into the inner circle. Life can look easier for this elite group — good things just seem to happen to them.
Have you ever wondered why so many girls go for the popular guys? You could ask a girl. But just asking the question could cast you into the pit of unpopularity, and climbing out can be slippery. Once you're in the "out group," it's hard to get back out (or would that be "in"?).
Excerpted from Girl Talk Guy Talk by Karen Whiting, Jesse Florea. Copyright © 2017 Karen Whiting and Jesse Florea. Excerpted by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc..
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.
Table of Contents
Part 1 The True You
For Guys & Girls CQ: Communication Quotient Quiz 2
Girl Talk Laughing Matters 6
Guy Talk Got a Funny Feeling? 8
Girl Talk What's Your Rep? 10
Guy Talk Protect Your Rep 12
Girl Talk Pop Quiz! 14
Guy Talk Popular Opinion 16
Girl Talk Life without Regrets 18
Guy Talk No Regrets 20
Girl Talk Be You! 22
Guy Talk The Value of You 24
Girl Talk Words Begin in the Heart 26
Guy Talk Hey, That's Greeeat 28
Girl Talk I Can't Decide 30
Guy Talk Gray Matters 32
Girl Talk Vote of Confidence 34
Guy Talk Choose to Ooze 36
FOR GUYS & GIRLS You've Got Personality! 38
Girl Talk God's Grading System 42
Guy Talk Marching Odors 44
Girl Talk Rightful Judge 46
Guy Talk "I'll Be the judge of That" 48
Girl Talk R.I.P. 50
Guy Talk Time for an Upgrade 52
Girl Talk Tongue-Tied 54
Guy Talk What a Character! 56
Girl Talk Stand under My Umbrella 58
Guy Talk Struggle for Good 60
Girl Talk Distressed about Stress 62
Guy Talk What's Up with Worry? 64
Girl Talk All-Star Attitude 66
Guy Talk More Than a Game 68
Girl Talk Yak, Yak, YUCK! 70
Guy Talk Verbal Jousting 72
Girl Talk Taming Reckless Words 74
Guy Talk Thoughtful and Few 76
For guys & girls Problems with Porn 78
Girl Talk Complain or Reframe 82
Guy Talk Gripe or Gratitude 84
Girl Talk Consumed by Stuff 86
Guy Talk Watch Your Words 88
Girl Talk Photo Fail… and Victory 90
Guy Talk Defeat Tweet 92
Girl Talk Knocking Down Wails 94
Guy Talk Catch a Wave 96
Girl Talk Between Two Worlds 98
Guy Talk Why Wait? 100
For Guys & Girls Grow for It 102
Girl Talk Broken Records 106
Guy Talk Hitting Replay 108
Girl Talk Go for True Beauty 110
Guy Talk Weight for It 112
Girl Talk What's Your Outlook? 114
Guy Talk Focused on the Right Thing 116
Girl Talk Movie Star 118
Guy Talk No Average Joe 120
Part 2 Friend Zone
Girl Talk Rise above Bullies 124
Guy Talk Don't Back Down 126
Girl Talk Guys Are Often Clueless 128
Guy Talk Stay out of the Trap 130
Girl Talk The ABCs of Talking to Guys 132
Guy Talk Follow the Signs 134
For Guys & Girls Don't Mock Body Talk 136
Girl Talk Silence Can Be Golden 140
Guy Talk Center of Attention 142
Girl Talk Talk Shop 144
Guy Talk Something to Talk About 146
Girl Talk Fresh Streams of Life 148
Guy Talk Wanted: Guy Friends 150
Girl Talk The Meaning of Respect 152
Guy Talk Pay Some Respect 154
Girl Talk Party People 156
Guy Talk Party Hero 158
Girl Talk Going Deeper 160
Guy Talk Tell Me a Story 162
Girl Talk Take the Lead 164
Guy Talk The Wrong Way 166
Girl Talk The ABCs of Motivation 168
Guy Talk Driven to Distraction 170
Girl Talk A Friend in Need 172
Guy Talk Friend to the Friendless 174
For guys & girls Listen with Love 176
Girl Talk It's Easy to Be Green 180
Guy Talk Don't Tempt Me 182
Girl Talk Avoid the Explosion 184
Guy Talk One Up 186
Girl Talk Avoid the Argument 188
Guy Talk Be a Uniter, Not a Divider 190
Girl Talk Don't Cave In 192
Guy Talk Under Pressure 194
For Guys & Girls Flocking Together in Harmony 195
Girl Talk Verbal First-Aid Kit 200
Guy Talk Manly Words 202
Part 3 Up to Date
For Guys & Girls Love-It's All Greek to Me! 206
Girl Talk Words to Save 210
Guy Talk The Power of Love 212
Girl Talk Warning Signs 214
Guy Talk Mighty Samson's Mighty Problem 216
For Guys & Girls First Dates 218
Girl Talk Waiting for Mr. Right 222
Guy Talk It's a Date! 224
Girl Talk Breaking Up Is Hard to Do 226
Guy Talk The Big Breakup 228
For Guys & Girls Different Is Good 230
Girl Talk Lies Girls Believe 234
Guy Talk True Love Waits 236
Girl Talk Crushed by Your Crush! 238
Guy Talk In the Dumps 240
For Guys & Girls Ex Marks the Spot 242
Girl Talk Fast-Acting Friendship 246
Guy Talk Get in the Action 248
Girl Talk Excuses-Everybody Has One 250
Guy Talk Not a Fair Fight 252
For Guys & Girls War of Words 254
Girl Talk Let Us Pray 258
Guy Talk Don't Hide, Just Decide 260