Girls Against Girls: Why We Are Mean to Each Other and How We Can Change

Girls Against Girls: Why We Are Mean to Each Other and How We Can Change

by Bonnie Burton

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Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780979017360
Publisher: Zest Books
Publication date: 01/01/2009
Pages: 128
Sales rank: 811,254
Product dimensions: 5.40(w) x 8.40(h) x 0.50(d)
Lexile: 1120L (what's this?)
Age Range: 12 - 17 Years

About the Author

Bonnie Burton is a regular contributor to Bust, Geek Monthly, Star Wars Insider, and Wired magazines, and contributed to the comic anthology The Girls’ Guide to Guys’ Stuff.

Read an Excerpt

Girls Against Girls

Why We Are Mean to Each Other and How We Can Change
By Bonnie Burton

Zest Books

Copyright © 2009 Bonnie Burton
All right reserved.

ISBN: 9780979017360

TOC

Chapter 1: Why We Hurt Each Other

Chapter 2: Methods of Our Meanness

Chapter 3: Bearing the Brunt of It

Chapter 4: Calling in Reinforcements

Chapter 5: Stopping the Cycle

Chapter 6: Teaming Up Instead of Tearing Each Other Down

Chapter 7: Resources

Chapter 6: Teaming Up Instead of Tearing Each Other Down

So, OK, we know we’re not perfect. But to say all girls have no choice but to be catty and mean isn’t true. We’re not inherently a wicked mob of fashion zombies who can’t tell right from wrong.

In fact, a lot of the cruel things we do are just a result of us using our best traits in the wrong ways. Girls are typically great speakers and writers, and we can use that advantage to advocate for people less fortunate than us or to make great works of art instead of gossiping and spreading rumors. We love forming communities, and we can use that to draw all people together instead of creating exclusive cliques. We are the more emotionally tuned-in gender, and we can use that to spread love instead of anger. We can also learn to be more direct with our emotions, keep less bottled up, and choose better influences in our lives. Everyone can change, even you.

The first step to stopping the fighting is finding common ground. We are all girls, and we face many of the same challenges. If we can find better ways to share our troubles, communicate, and work together, there is no limit to what we can do.

"We have to look at each other as allies, not enemies, and rise above the media’s messaging to us that says we have to hate other girls and women. What we need in this world right now is more unity and less cattiness. The only way we can change this is if we, each in our own way, begin to look at this issue and take action!"

--Jessica Weiner, author and advice columnist

WORKING TOGETHER

When was the first time you saw girls join forces? Maybe when the girls in fifth-grade gym class played the boys in a fierce game of dodge ball? It didn’t matter that 10 minutes before you lined up in the gym, Jennifer told you that you smelled, or that Rebecca glared at you from across class that morning after you screeched the chalk against the blackboard. You shoved your grudges and alliances aside, and worked as a team for one great cause — to pummel the boys!

You can do that now (work collectively, not pummel boys, that is). There are way too many important causes that could seriously use your help — like animal rights, school reform, environmental issues, domestic violence, and human rights. When girls form bonds instead of fissures, all of us not only stop fighting with each other, but also create positive change together.

WHO, ME, A FEMINIST?

Do you believe that women deserve to be treated as equals to men? Do you have love and respect for yourself and your fellow "sisters"? Are you strong and smart and ready to take on the world? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you are, indeed, a feminist. Most girls do not view themselves as feminists, because they think that the term implies that they are not feminine (even though the two words are practically the same) or that they can’t have a boyfriend (so wrong — guys love strong women). Feminists are just people who support women and help to empower them. That pretty much makes all of us girls feminists.

Why does it matter? Because feminism is based on banding together. Feminists come in all shapes and colors, from your best friend, who wants to be a gynecologist because she cares about women’s health; to your grandma, who decades ago demanded the same pay as the men she was working alongside; to your little cousin who is planning to take over the world with her Barbie; to your boyfriend’s stay-at-home mom who successfully raised four children and loved every minute of it. Feminists can even be guys who support the women in their lives (like your boyfriend, though he may never admit it).

"I was lucky enough to find friends who were interested in feminism, and they taught me a lot about self-respect and caring for other girls and women. Every time I found myself thinking ‘what a bitch,’ I tried to remember that by using that word I was not respecting myself or other women of the world, and that this kind of thinking and speaking keeps women low on the food chain, so to speak.

"If women and girls don’t look out for one another, no one else will! By constantly tearing one another down, we are participating in a system that is set up to keep women out of positions of power. And, power aside, hating on girls feels terrible for both the hater and the hated."

--Emily Moeller, program director, Willie Mae Rock Camp for Girls

Continues...

Excerpted from Girls Against Girls by Bonnie Burton Copyright © 2009 by Bonnie Burton. Excerpted by permission.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

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Girls Against Girls: Why We Are Mean to Each Other and How We Can Change 4.3 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 3 reviews.
TeensReadToo More than 1 year ago
Gold Star Award Winner! Why are girls so mean to each other? Are they jealous? Intimidated? See other girls as competition? Whatever the reason, malicious gossiping, social shunning, vicious taunting, and cyber-bullying will often occur. So how do we break the cycle? Through this book, girls will learn some of the reasoning behind why girls can be so vicious - and what they can do to make it stop. The author takes a very balanced approach with this book. She not only addresses the victims, but the mean girls, as well. Her white space, layout, and illustrations are excellent and well-used. The information she presents is well-researched and takes a common-sense approach to breaking the cycle of meanness, envy, and passive-aggressive behaviors. With quotes from famous artists and athletes and an easy-to-understand text that gives adolescents hope, GIRLS AGAINST GIRLS is a must-have for any teenage girl and school or library collection.
jexball on LibraryThing 23 days ago
Girls Against Girls attacks the age old question of why are girls so mean to each other? It's crazy to think that one girl can ruin another's life without breaking a sweat. Tactics such as gossip, dumping, verbal abuse, and even the silent-treatment have become typical attacks in the high school environment and beyond. Severe cases leave young girls with life altering disabilities such as eating disorders, depression, paranoia, or one of many other mental diseases that carry on into adulthood. The question still stands: why do we do this to each other? Author Bonnie Burton addresses the topic in a concise and straightforward manner. While I find it hard to believe that a teen girl would pick this book up on their own, I think that it would be a good resource for parents, teachers, and counselors to use to address the abuse that happens between girls. I believe this is a good book for parents to look at in order to gain a quick glance at some of the common problems among teenage girls today. A lot of the fighting between girls is overlooked because it is happening quietly or seen as a simple dispute between two people. It's not easy to gauge how bad the fight may be or how much damage it may be doing. In a way, guys have it easy: they yell, they punch, they forget....but women remember forever and man can they hold a grudge.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago