Glitzch! USA: How America Was First to Put a 'Man on the Moose' ... and Other Ways Predictive Text Plays Havoc with History

Glitzch! USA: How America Was First to Put a 'Man on the Moose' ... and Other Ways Predictive Text Plays Havoc with History

by Hugh Kellett



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Glitzch! USA: How America Was First to Put a 'Man on the Moose' ... and Other Ways Predictive Text Plays Havoc with History by Hugh Kellett

The American version of the Glitzch! series, in which genuine autocorrect failures deconstruct and distort the world around us, giving a whole new interpretation of U.S. history and culture

From great men such as Grotesque Washing (George Washington) and Abrasive Luncheon (Abraham Lincoln), to the Civil War between the Considerates and the Unkind (Confederates and Union), to the first Man on the Moose (Man on the Moon), this fresh take on what makes the greatest country in the world what it is today will raise as many eyebrows as it will laughs. God bless the Untied States of Africa!

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781909657229
Publisher: Bene Factum Publishing Limited
Publication date: 04/01/2014
Pages: 158
Product dimensions: 5.70(w) x 5.70(h) x 0.40(d)

About the Author

Hugh Kellett has been in advertising since the 1970s. Most recently he worked for Publicis on brands such as L'Oreal, easyJet, and Fidelity. He also has a communications consultancy.

Read an Excerpt

Glitzch! USA

By Hugh Kellett

Bene Factum Publishing Ltd

Copyright © 2013 Hugh Kellett
All rights reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-909657-22-9


The Joy of Text

It was a day like any other and I was on a train home texting a friend, my mind elsewhere. It was no more than a two liner. I hit the send button before leaning back in my seat to watch the familiar English landscape fly past. Five minutes later the incoming message signal bleeped and I opened the reply. My friend was nonplussed ... What did I mean by the text? In fact, WHAT THE HELL did I mean by the text?

Checking my original I saw what he meant – it was seriously rude. The predictive messaging facility had (once again) caught me out, and I had sent a text whose meaning bore scant relation to its original intent. Everyone has made this mistake at some time but the thought occurred to me that, with our lives being increasingly controlled by machines, predictive software might have been infiltrated by a mischievous little gremlin that manipulated our words for its own edification. There was a bug in the system and it was buggering things up. Literally.

Had the great technology and communication corporations that permeate our lives at every level unwittingly unleashed – for the sake of speed and spelling convenience – a rogue force that was spreading with virus-like alacrity, voraciously mutating the building blocks of civilisation – words? Destabilising things. Was it unwitting? Had the CIA got something to do with it? Or the Russians (the gremlin from the Kremlin)?

Delving further into the fantastical, I started experimenting with the range of possible options my device was suggesting on screen as I built a word. Choose the "wrong" predictive suggestion and you can be taken off on a demented, but, as I discovered, often worryingly informative, journey by this little monster. A strange process of illumination. It seemed that the gremlin was indeed actively delivering messages and insights from another plane, via a sort of hilarious poltergeisting of language. In many instances and when the mood took it, its messages seemed to cast a light on some things and on others a shadow.

Mischievously, mockingly, maddeningly, it seemed to have it in for us. Nothing and no-one seemed safe from its impishly revisionist bile.

The result? The subversion of things we know and a questioning of things we hold to be true – from religion to the law, from politics to language and literature, from sport to social, and dammit, right down to American history itself. We were being relentlessly and scurrilously undermined. So if, in the pages that follow, the gremlin causes shock and outrage, please remember, Dear Reader, that I am merely a messenger, or at best a medium.

As a consequence of that wayward text, Glitzch! was born. Whether the gremlin be malicious or merely mischievous, let alone mildly miraculous, is for the reader to decide. The examples on the following pages are genuine possibilities. Sorry, I'll rephrase that: "The examiner on the flowing pageboy ate penguins possibly". You get the idea. Next time you text, tweet or type – remember the gremlin itching to be heard, to voice what we're loath to say and go where we fear to tread.

The original version of Glitzch! was published in the UK, where I allowed the gremlin to take an impish swipe at the great story of Britain and the noble institutions that I knew so well. I was tickled to do the same for other countries, and since I knew little of America, and the educational system here doesn't teach American history beyond jokes about Little Big Horn, I researched the origins of the US and embarked on a voyage of discovery that proved as full of havoc as its British counterpart.


Excerpted from Glitzch! USA by Hugh Kellett. Copyright © 2013 Hugh Kellett. Excerpted by permission of Bene Factum Publishing Ltd.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

Table of Contents


Title Page,
The Joy of Text,
A note on predictive text technology.,
About the Author,

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