Going Under

Going Under

by Lexi Ryan


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If I met Alexandra DeLuca for the first time today, I would only need one word to describe her:


She's everything she was when we said goodbye. Beautiful, stubborn, sweet...and off-limits.

After two years leading separate lives, our worlds have collided. Now that she's back home working and taking classes beside me, she's bound to make me lose my mind.

She's all I've ever wanted, all I've ever dreamed of, and the one thing I can never have.

Not because she's my best friend's sister.
Not because all four DeLuca brothers would come at me with fists swinging if I hurt her.
Not even because she's way better than I will ever deserve.

I keep my distance because we didn't meet for the first time today. We met five years ago when I was a different person. When my demons ruled me. Even though I've changed--even though I've gotten my life together and become a better man--I can't change the past. And the secrets that haunt me would destroy her.

But I'm not the only one with secrets, and when the truth comes out, I don't know where to turn. What do you do when your world washes away beneath your feet and you feel like you're drowning? What do you do when the woman you promised yourself you'd never touch is the only thing that can keep you from going under?

GOING UNDER is a standalone novel and the third in The Blackhawk Boys series.

Football. Secrets. Lies. Passion. These boys don't play fair. Which Blackhawk Boy will steal your heart?

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781540767530
Publisher: CreateSpace Publishing
Publication date: 12/02/2016
Series: Blackhawk Boys Series , #3
Pages: 376
Sales rank: 642,880
Product dimensions: 5.25(w) x 8.00(h) x 0.84(d)

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Going Under (The Blackhawk Boys, #3) 4.6 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 17 reviews.
Anonymous 5 months ago
A story full of angst, secrets, and a twist you won't see coming! Highly recommend!!
KMariReads More than 1 year ago
**Actual Rating 4.5 Brave Stars** Even the strong have weakness. Lexi Ryan sure knows how to entertain you! I couldn’t put this book down. I had to finish it and get my HEA and of course she doesn’t disappoint. Going Under had so many layers to it, you weren’t sure what or where it was going. I loved it and hated it at the same time. This is a second chance romance with a twist. Sebastian/Bash Crowe has been consumed with guilt for years. He has turned his life around, but still is trying to grasp onto the rope to pull himself up. Alexandra DeLuca is the girl he desperately wants and has wanted for years. She is HIS or at least in his mind she is, but she is forbidden. She’s his best friends little sister and also the girl he can’t let see his ugliness. He wants nothing more to let his fantasy become a reality, but he isn’t worthy of her. Will Sebastian ever get the redemption he deserves? Will he ever let the past stop dictating his future? We break, and we heal. Our scars can make us more beautiful than we were before Alexandra/Alex has been surviving on what I am not sure. But this girl has some strength to her. She has been through hell for the past few years after tragedy struck her and her family. For years she has had a major crush on Sebastian, but she never acted on it. She was just the plain jane, nothing like her twin. Alex was the calm, shy, sweet girl who no guy ever looked at. But there is something about Sebastian that invokes spine tingling emotions in her. Can she admit her feelings for him? Or will she continue to hide under all her demons? Sometimes we hide the truth to protect people we love. Sometimes it’s the only choice we have. Both of them are broken and hiding things. They each have their own guilt and demons that seem to push them away from one another. However, I think that if they could put away the guilt, and lies. They could find the strength in each other and would heal their hearts and minds. But can they both let go of regret, guilt and secrets? Or will they both sink in despair? Can they grab onto the rope and pull themselves out and let go of the past? Will they open their hearts to one another? From the very beginning, you were goodness and light, and I was darkness and ugliness. I couldn’t do anything but bring you down into my hell, and I wouldn’t do that. I was never suppose to fall in love with someone so good, but I did. I really liked both of the characters. I felt their struggles, their passion, their guilt. I also loved that Sebastian was so protective of Alex, but didn’t feel like he was worthy now or in the past. Alex as I said was strength. She has these scars and they give her insecurities, but she eventually finds her voice/self that she starts to see herself how others do. I really adored her. There were so many questions about what happened in the past that I was sure I had things figured out. But then Lexi throws in something that I never saw coming. It answered a lot of questions. I can’t wait for more. Each book is a standalone, characters do crossover. I haven’t read the first two books and I never once felt lost, I felt intrigued to get their stories. I really want Mason’s story next, but I can’t wait to read Keegan’s. These characters feel so real, the stories flow naturally and of course there is some drama, but it isn’t way over the top. Lexi delivers a fantastic story filled with steam, love, forgiveness, acceptance and of course a little humor.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Can't wait for the next book.
DorisB More than 1 year ago
This is one story that will keep you feeling invested in Sebastian and Alexandra and the past that keeps them from the love they have for each other. Alex is living with scars on about one third of her body that she got while running into a burning building trying to rescue her twin sister. Sebastian is living with scars within his soul for feeling that Alex’s sister, Martina died because of him. No matter if they are internal or external scars are a part of who you are and it is something you cannot hide no matter how hard you try. This is the feeling that I got from this well written book by Lexi Ryan. This is my first book by her and I was very impressed with the way she taught you life lessons while giving you one hell of a story. Alex and Sebastian have always had strong feelings for each other but neither was able to act on them. Sebastian mainly because of the guilt he felt in playing a part of Martina’s death. He fought hard to stay away from Alex but it was near impossible when they were both thrown in the path of each other again. There are some things that happen which I didn’t expect and I had to re-read just to make sure of the turn this story was taking. (And I loved it!!) I would definitely recommend this book and I look forward to reading more from Ms. Ryan. I received this book from NetGalley as an ARC for a freely given honest review.
voraciousreaderKB More than 1 year ago
This is the third book in the Blackhawk Boys series and each book is a standalone. This is a sweet and emotional college football romance. Sebastian has been attracted to Alexandra for years. Although, he knows he must keep his feeling to himself because Alexandra's overprotective brothers have made it clear she is off limits. Alexandra has always secretly had a crush on Sebastian but assumes he isn't interested in her. Sebastian and Alexandra have a hard time keeping their feeling to themselves when they both return to their hometown and are together so much. They both attend the same college and also work together at Sebastian’s father’s garage. Sebastian is a college football star and he can get any girl he wants, but he is constantly thinking about Alexandra. Sebastian carries a lot of guilt for mistakes he made in the past and he is afraid to share this with anyone. Alexandra doesn't have a lot of confidence. She bares scars both physically and emotionally from the fire her twin sister died in and is still having a hard time dealing with the tragedy. Alexandra is pretty, fun loving, loves to work on cars and has always been a tomboy. Unfortunately, she has four bossy, protective brothers who like to interfere and give her advice. This story moves slowly. Sebastian and Alexandra long for each other and I have to admit, I wish they could have worked through their problems sooner.
IsaLaCroqueusedeLivres More than 1 year ago
4 STARS Spinning Out was my first Lexi Ryans’ book, I loved it, and Going Under didn’t disappointed me I love her writing, the way she brings us imperfect characters, with demons and flaws. Once again, I was absolutely hooked from the beginning, I felt every feeling with Sebastian putting all the distance he could, Alexandra feeling unworthy, and using Martina’s journal was brilliant. An excellent way to have me wondering “who”, “why”, while I was getting more into the story. There is love, passion, a lot of angst, frustrating feelings but it felt soooo good. The pace, the way the pieces of this puzzle are coming into place. Reading Martina’s diary was really sad, I loved/hated her at the same time… Those characters are flawed in a very honest way, we feel the jealousy, or the traumas that led them to make the bad decisions, Lexi Ryan gives us consistent characters that we love despite all their demons, and I can’t help to repeat myself: I was so sad for Martina… Lexi Ryan is definitely one of those authors that makes me love Romance; a great plot, imperfect characters, passion, but never boring nor cheasy. I can’t wait for Book 3! ***ARC kindly provided in exchange for an honest review***
mamalovestoread22 More than 1 year ago
Sebastian has longed to have his chance with the gorgeous Alexandra, but he is certain that day is never going to come because not only is she his best friends little sister, but also because she is way too good for him. Getting involved with her could only end in disaster, since he's the boy from the wrong side of the tracks, one who has had his fair share of brushes with trouble. No matter how hard he tries to redeem himself and get his life traveling on a good path, his past is always seems to find a way to interfere. He hasn't crossed paths with Alex in a long time, not since she left town two years ago, but now she is back, and she wants a chance with him... question is, can he keep his demons at bay and work up the courage to cross the lines he said he'd never cross? Or will he disappoint her again? Alexandra has had a serious crush on her brothers friend Sebastian for a long time, but she never managed to catch his eye, she was always the plain Jane little sister. It hurt seeing him walk away two years ago, and she tried to move on, but her feelings for him were always there lingering in the back of her mind. Now that she is home though all bets are off, their lives are intersecting again, and this time she plans to make her move and hopefully win a place in his life and heart. This was my first experience with Ms. Ryan's work and I have to admit that I was pleasantly surprised with what I found, so much so, it has inspired me to revisit this series and acquaint myself with all the characters I missed out on meeting in previous installments in the series. The moment I started this story I knew I had stumbled onto something truly special, Sebastian and Alex pulled me into their world, had me fully invested from the get go, and sent me flying right through the pages in search of what I hoped to be a well deserved happy ending. After reading the synopsis I knew it would be a very emotional read, but nothing could have prepared me for what I found, I went from moments of having my heart in my throat, to moments of needing a fan, all I can say is that it definitely kept me on my toes the whole way through!! Highly recommend this one, this heartfelt story is sure to satisfy! I voluntarily read and reviewed an advanced copy of this title.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Another great read from Lexi Ryan! Believable characters and just the right proportions of I love you but I shouldn't. We all have scars but we are who we are because of them.
CrystalsBookWorld More than 1 year ago
Lexi Ryan is a new author to me and is now a favorite. I already can say that I am going to be hooked on her books after reading Going Under. This book is Sebastian Crowe’s story in the series. I was given an ARC copy in return for my honest review. I am so happy to be able to share my review. This story was an emotional read from beginning to the end. Going Under will crack your heart a little. A piece of my heart stayed with the book after I read the last page. I was sad, confused (not by the story, by the character’s feelings), angry, hopeful, and forgave the bad that Sebastian had to deal with and once was. Going Under is a huge 5 Star read as it is thrilling, suspenseful, and sexy! Sebastian Crowe found out that love at first sight can happen. He has loved Alexandra Deluca for five years. He stayed away because she is his best friend’s sister. Sebastian tried hard to obey Rule #1: Do not touch your best friend’s sister. So he stays far away from her emotionally. Sebastian past is not a happy one. In fact he could have easily been in jail by now if he did not decided to change his ways. There is this one night that changed it all for Sebastian and Alexandra. A tragedy happened and it finally made Sebastian snap out of the bad and try to work on the good in his life. He even put his feelings to the side while Alexandra went to Boulder for a couple of years with her aunt. Alexandra is back in town. I love that she can work on cars and she knows her stuff as a mechanic. She has a new job and ready to face the world again. She missed her family and needs them for emotional support. She has scars that will always be a reminder of that dreadful night. She is back in Sebastian's life and she makes it clear that she wants him. Only he does not take the bait. So she tries to move on, and well the green eye comes out for Sebastian. I won’t put in any spoilers, but you need to see what happens. You may need a box of tissue as well. I cried a lot with this book. I was still thinking of the story line and felt sad/happy even after I was done with the book. I really felt everything that Lexi portrays with her characters. I truly loved Sebastian's story.
HeatherLM More than 1 year ago
Wow! The Blackhawk boys keep getting more intense as the series goes on. Going under is mainly about Sebastian and Alex Deluca. I wasn't sure what to expect from Sebastian's story, but boy was it a doozy. Underneath that bad boy exterior is a softy in love. I adored Alex. I thought she was a smart, sweet, beautiful, good natured young lady. I also felt for her. The poor girl had been through a lot and was having a hard time finding her "happy." Ms. Ryan is an extraordinary writer and wrote this book beautifully. She caught my interest very early on and held it throughout the entire story. This book was pretty suspenseful too. I thought I had it all figured out, but I was so wrong. I have enjoyed all the Blackhawk Boys books and I can't wait to read the next one. I'm really interested to see all the boys find their HEA.
heater_28 More than 1 year ago
Sebastian (Bash) Crowe has been living with guilt for years. Guilt over many different things, but he has managed to turn his life around and is becoming the man he's always wanted to be. However he still doesn't believe that he is worthy of the one woman that has always been able to keep, and hold, his attention. In his mind she is his and he wants that to be reality, but will he be able to get past his own demons to make that happen? Alexandra (Alex) DeLuca has been living her life in pause for the last several years. She and her family endured a horrific loss and Alex herself was badly affected by the tragedy. She is still trying to make sense of it all and also trying to deal with the crush she has had on Sebastian since she was a teenager. Alex is convinced that she has always been second best and because she's the nice, sweet girl, no guy is going to ever take notice of that. Will Alex ever be able to come clean with Sebastian and admit how she feels about him? This was my first Lexi Ryan book and I can guarantee that it will not be my last. This is one of those books that has all the feels. You are constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop as you know that both characters are withholding secrets and every time you think you know them all, something else is revealed and you are once again trying to catch your breath and find your equilibrium. It's an edge of your seat story that engages you from the first page to the last.
janice1231 More than 1 year ago
A Review of Going Under: The Blackhawk Boys, Book 3 by Lexi Ryan Secrets, Lies and Love - 5++++ stars Sebastian has spent the last year on the sidelines for the Blackhawks, while being groomed to cover for Arrow. We've seen him around campus and hanging out with the other guys on the team, but we didn't know too much about him, so I was happy that he was finally getting his own story. When he walks into his fathers' shop and sees his Alex again for the first time in over two years, he is thrown for a loop. Although he still considers her off-limits, he still has the same feelings for her that he has fought against since they were sixteen. Alex always liked to work on cars with her four brothers, so it's not a huge surprise to find out that his father has hired her to work in the garage with them, now that she is back at home to stay and go to college at BHU. Alex has had a crush on Sebastian since they met in English class when they were sixteen. Sebastian was the first person to actually hold her after she went into a burning house to try and save her twin sister, when everyone else was too afraid to hurt her. What happens when secrets come out and they both learn that things are not always what they seem? There were soooo many feelings brought out in this book, things that make you cry and want to scream and things that make you sigh in happiness. Favorite quote: “Touching you is never difficult. The hard part is letting go.” **Honest review voluntarily provided from a Complimentary Copy**
SusanReads1 More than 1 year ago
Going Under by Lexi Ryan is the third book in The Blackhawk Boys series. I love these boys and this series! It is a breathtaking tapestry woven together with angst, hot football players, life's tragedies and glories, friendship and romance. Did I mention hot guys? Going Under is now my favorite book in the series. It truly is an emotional story with a complex plot. Just when you think you have it figured out...wrong. Sebastian Crowe has loved Alexandra Deluca for as long as he can remember. She has felt off limits to him due to being his best friend's sister and due to events in his past. He has worked hard to make his life better, but has never felt worthy of her. Alexandra left town after a tragedy that killed her twin sister and forever changed her life too. She returns to town after years of being away determined to move past her love of Sebastian. She believes he isn't interested in her beyond friendship. She wants to let go of the past and find a future for herself. Now that she is home and sees Sebastian she realizes that her flame for him still blazes hot and deep. She has always loved cars and is now working in his families garage along with Sebastian and her brother. She also is enrolled in college with him and shares a class with him. They keep getting thrown together and can't seem to fight their attraction. As the layers of their past are peeled back and truths are revealed it is obvious that they deserve happiness. Can they move past their fears and insecurities and find happiness in each other's arms?
Emily-SBDR More than 1 year ago
GAH! Lexi Ryan is the QUEEN of tearing my heart out and putting it back together. Her Blackhawk Boys series has brought a new level of angst to the land of new adult romance. Alexandra and Sebastian have a true star-crossed lovers situation happening, though it's unknown to one of them. The wretched ups and downs these two experience in Going Under are enough to make my head spin and my heart ache, but at the end of the day, it's always them. Them with their combustible passion. Them with the need and unerring ability to be there for one another without words needing to be said. They're a match made in an alternate heaven, but in this reality, they're set to destruct when the truths come out. A love lost is a love gained, but not a love lost forever. I can't explain how many emotions I went through while reading Going Under. Hurt, ecstatic, love, betrayal, suspicion, loss, elated, and on and on the emotions go. I felt depleted, yet oh so satisfied and properly swooned by the time THE END came around. If you're looking to be well and truly thrown through the wringer with a passionate and sublime story, look no further. Sebastian Crowe is the sinful man to bring you to your knees, and Alexandra DeLuca is just the woman to show you how to fight. Happy Reading! *ARC provided by the author in exchange for an honest review*
aimz1972 More than 1 year ago
WOW! Another amazing story by Lexi Ryan. Sebastian and Alex have known each other since high school as they shared classes together. Alex suffers unimaginable loss and they both leave town after high school for different reasons. A couple years later they run into each other again and the feelings they both had are still there even though neither has ever spoken it out loud. But the past dictates the present and this keeps Sebastian from acting on those feelings. But so many things keep putting them together even though he remains steadfast in not crossing the line. This book had me on edge wondering what would/would not happen next and I was surprised by the ending. Will the past catch up to them, will they ever break through and give into their feelings....
kgagnon More than 1 year ago
4.5 Second Chance Stars! I was captivated by this friends to lovers/forbidden romance from the very first page! I have been waiting for Sebastian Crowe's story since the very first book and it was well worth the wait! This story opens up two years previously with Sebastian at Alexandra DeLuca's door at midnight. She is leaving tomorrow and he can't let her go without seeing her one last time. He knows he shouldn't be there, not only because her brother is his best friend, but also because he has a secret that would destroy her. Alex has been harboring a secret love for him and is hoping he will beg her to stay. Sebastian sucks at goodbye and it leaves them both heartbroken. Fast forward two years and Alex is back home to go to college, working in Sebastian's family garage, and tempting him beyond measure. As they get reacquainted thru work, college classes and friends, they are finding it harder and harder to ignore their deep love for each other or the reasons they can't be together. They have no clue they have been used and manipulated. But as secrets are revealed will they be able to survive the truth or find the strength to forgive? I really liked Sebastian and Alex and love them together. They share a love of cars, and the same quirky sense of humor. I also like their strength. They are both scarred and broken but in very different ways and working hard to be whole. I feel that the decisions they sometimes made were believable even if I didn't agree with some of them. Ms Ryan skillfully revealed this story in alternating past and present sequence and diary entries allowing the reader to be truly engaged both emotionally and thoughtfully. She expertly weaved a tale of loyalty and betrayal, of love and heartbreak, and ultimately of hope and healing. This story is a raw and emotional journey with some suspense and several twists and turns that will keep you guessing. We also get more of the back and forth between their friends relationships leaving us wanting more! I can't get enough of this series and this group of friends and am looking forward to Keegan's story next!
Janet_Reads More than 1 year ago
Lexi Ryan’s Going Under is the third book in her The Blackhawk Boys series, and the first book of hers that I have read. (This bit of information should tell you that you do not need to follow the series order and that they are stand-alone books.) Going Under is sweet, fun, a little angsty and layered. Alexandra (Alex) lost her twin city to addiction and was severely burned trying to save her. She has significant scars from the experience - both physical and emotional - and has just returned to her hometown after living away for two years. She’s starting college and works on cars, but she never knew Sebastian Crowe moved back home as well. Sebastian moved back to town after his mother was sick with cancer. He is football player and has always had a thing for Alex, but he has always considered her off limits because he is best friends with her older brother. But Sebastian has secrets that are also preventing him from ever acting on his feelings for her. Neither realized or planned that they would be living in the same town again and going to the same college. They cannot hide their attraction for each other, but they have a lot of hurdles to jump before they can ever be together - especially Sebastian. Going Under is good, and I liked the way Ms. Ryan handled Alex’s sister’s addiction. I wanted to push Sebastian a little to get him to take some action, but I understand why he believed Alex was unavailable to him. The story moved a little slow, and there are a lot of secondary characters that were a little hard to keep up with. Overall, it was a nice read, especially if you like college sports romances. ARC provided by publisher, but no one made me write this review and my opinions are honest and my own.