Previously published as part of The One-Hour Orgasm™, Leah Schwartz, Ph.D., and Bob Schwartz, Ph.D.'s Great Orgasms demonstrates, with pictures and words, how you can master the famous "Venus Butterfly"™ technique (for him and for her), immediately improve your intimate experiences, and enjoy ever-expanding levels of pleasure in your sex life.
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About the Author
New York Times bestselling author BOB SCHWARTZ, Ph.D., and his wife, LEAH SCHWARTZ, Ph.D., have been featured on HBO, CNBC, Oprah, Joan Rivers, The View, and over 2,000 other television and radio shows throughout the United States, Canada and Great Britain. They have dedicated over two decades to helping couples improve their marriages and sex lives.
Read an Excerpt
By Leah Schwartz, Bob Schwartz
St. Martin's PressCopyright © 1999 Walter P. Maksym
All rights reserved.
"A one-hour orgasm! Is this a joke?" asked a friend when we told him what we were working on.
A "one-hour orgasm" is an orgasm with hundreds, even thousands, of orgasmic contractions one after the other after the other.
You don't believe this is possible? Join the club. Neither did we. No one we had ever met, including Dr. Ruth, had any idea of what we were talking about. The only way you will become a believer is the way we did. After your first one.
Do You Really Know What an Orgasm Is?
Most men and women, including many sex and relationship experts, seem to be very confused about what an orgasm actually is.
Most of them talk and act as if the ejaculation phase is the orgasm. This is not accurate, even for men. Of course, if that were true, women would never have them.
The most obvious signs of orgasm for both men and women are the orgasmic contractions which produce the intense pleasurable feelings which shoot those "wonderful-out-of-control" feelings throughout your whole mind and body.
The beginning phase of an orgasm starts when your genital area is feeling better than any other part of your body! If the pleasure you are experiencing continues and builds up, the sensations becomes stronger. These wonderful feelings usually begin to create mild orgasmic contractions. The orgasmic contractions can continue to build in intensity. They soon seem to take over your whole body and finally you feel as if you have come into contact with a cosmic light socket.
Have You Ever Counted Them?
During what most people consider a normal orgasm, men generally have 6 to 9 orgasmic contractions, each contraction lasting for approximately 8/10ths of a second. These contractions in a man are followed by the ejaculation of semen.
According to our research, only one out of three women had often, if ever, experienced orgasm through intercourse, but when they do, they have, on the average, 9 to 12 orgasmic contractions. Each contraction lasts for the same 8/10ths of a second that the man experiences.
One woman in a study we read had 33 orgasmic contractions, but they wrote her off because they thought her sexual nervous system had malfunctioned.
Bliss Is Closer Than You Think
As did thousands of other students, we learned the "Venus Butterfly" technique at More University and The Institute For Human Abilities in California, where "Basic Sensuality 101" has been taught for over 30 years.
At the Institute, they call the 6 to 12 orgasmic contractions of a typical orgasm a "genital sneeze." It is not that sneezes are bad, it is just that they have discovered that a whole lot more is available with some education and a little homework.
Being able to produce a one-hour orgasm means that you have mastered the "Venus Butterfly" technique in this book. Once you have practiced enough, you will be able to produce hundreds and hundreds of orgasmic contractions in your partner, man or woman.
Sound impossible? You won't see this in the Guiness Book of World Records, but the longest a woman's orgasm was kept going at More University was 11 hours! (Please don't try this at home. These were trained professionals and it was done only as a scientific experiment. ... not for fun.)
The good news is that after over 30 years of research, the researchers at More University and The Institute of Human Abilities still can't say what the upper limits of pleasure are that you can give your partner or that you can experience. With this new information you will:
Have more confidence in bed
Be able to increase the intensity and duration of your partner's orgasm
Have more fun together as a couple
Put the spark back into your relationship or keep it from going away
Eliminate boredom and increase the fun you both have in the bedroom
Learn something new that makes a big difference in your sex life and relationship
Solve the common problem of not being in the mood at the same time
Learn how to talk to each other about one of the most emotionally charged subjects in the world ... sex!
Bring back his (or her) sex drive
Learn how to solve the two biggest problems men face today without drugs — his occasional or often inability to have or maintain an erection and pre-mature ejaculation
Make every love-making session a pleasurable learning experience
Even lose weight!
Ask yourself this question: When was the last time you or your partner learned something new that improved your sex life and was so incredible that you continued to use it?
That time has come!CHAPTER 2
The Famous "Venus Butterfly" Technique
Would you really like to know how to be satisfied or to satisfy your partner every time? Does the idea of increasing the intensity and duration of your sexual encounters motivate you?
Are you ready to begin to feel the limitless pleasure that you suspect will be there for you and your mate?
A common answer is: "Not necessarily."
There are a lot of reasons to procrastinate, to find other things to do, and reasons not to follow the instructions we are about to give you.
The desire not to be vulnerable, the possibility of failure, and other fears may come up for you. It is natural that you may want to delay because of a sudden desire for food or a nap. Even thoughts such as "I don't want to," "I'm too tired," "I haven't got the time," and small emergencies, etc.
It is perfectly normal for you to have those feelings and think those thoughts. Don't worry. Just know that what you are feeling is normal resistance and go ahead and follow the instructions. This moment is an excellent opportunity to have a breakthrough and to notice how you may tend to both consciously and unconsciously resist pleasure in your life.
If you still feel like you are in the molasses of procrastination, don't fight it. Just go into slow motion. Slow down and do only one ... sentence ... at ... a ... time.
Get a sense that you are winning by moving forward, but don't stop. Slow down until the feeling of resistance passes.
Lighten up! Stop taking your "thoughts" so seriously and have some fun with your resistance. Defy your mind's delaying tactics, and do the next sexercise anyway.
To begin learning how to master the "Venus Butterfly" technique and produce longer and more intense orgasms, the first things you need are the following supplies and equipment. Round them up from around the house or make a list right away so that you can borrow or go shopping for the missing items as soon as possible.
1. A large hand mirror. Not a compact mirror. It must be at least as large as your outstretched hand.
2. A full-length mirror. Buy a five-foot mirror if you do not already have one. Mount it on the door or on a sturdy stand.
3. A jar or tube of lubricant. Get the brand Vaseline for this experience. You may eventually switch to another brand or use a water-based lubricant, but More University feels that it is important that you start with Vaseline for the following "sexercise."
4. Body lotion or massage oil.
5. As many items as possible to please your eyes such as candles or flowers.
6. Something to please your nose: scented bath oil, your favorite perfume or cologne, flowers, incense, or scented candles.
7. Something to please your ears: romantic music ... a tape player with or without earphones, a blank cassette tape to record the instruction on (optional), and a CD or cassette tape of your favorite romantic music or at least a radio tuned to a romantic music station.
8. Something to give pleasure to your taste buds ... something wonderful to eat or drink. At least one of your simple most favorite foods or drinks, such as your favorite kind of chocolate or a glass of champagne or freshly squeezed orange juice.
9. A private space where you can have all of the above assembled for at least one and one-half hours without interruption. You may wish to borrow a friend's place or even consider renting a hotel room. Make sure you have access to a bathtub or shower.
10. A flashlight.
11. This book and a pen.
Ready? Get Set! Go!
There are five parts to this "sexercise."
Complete one before you go on to the other. You will only know how important it is to do all parts of this sexercise after you have completed all the steps.
Until you are finished, just take our word that doing this sexercise will make all the difference in the world to your future sex life.
The two most important ingredients are: your willingness to do the exercise to the best of your ability, and. ... doing it.
You are about to take the single biggest step you have probably ever taken in order to learn how to satisfy your partner, be satisfied by your partner, and to train your nervous system to have orgasms which can be more intense and last up to one hour.
You may exercise regularly to stay in shape and to keep yourself healthy. You may even work out with weights to keep your body hard and fit. We are recommending that you work out your sexual nervous system so that it can work better for you.
Warning: Merely reading about the sexercises in this book will do you about as much good as reading about someone going to a gym and working out.
If you do the following sexercise from the More University Basic Sensuality Course even just once a week, you will be able to have more fun and pleasure than you could otherwise imagine.
If you don't do the sexercises, you won't get the results which thousands of people have achieved before you. And, please ... do the following basic "Venus Butterfly" sexercises at least one time before you do the "Venus Butterfly" technique with your partner.
Congratulations. You are on your way to having the best sex life you can imagine.
This first step takes only thirty minutes after you read through all of the instructions. You could spend hours just to complete the next step, but do not spend more than thirty minutes. Taking too much time during this step will diminish your success. It may even be an unconscious attempt to resist creating more pleasure.
The "Visiting Movie Star"
Dr. Victor Baranco called this the "Visiting Dignitary" part of the Basic Sensuality course taught at More University and The Institute Of Human Abilities for over 30 years.
Pretend that a very important person has requested to use a room in your home. Imagine that it is someone very special. Maybe your favorite movie star, world leader, or visiting royalty.
What do you do?
Begin now to make the room as nice as you can. Throw any clutter in a closet or out of sight, and make sure there are as many visually attractive items to look at as you can arrange.
Set out some scented candles (you'll light them later).
Set flowers out where they can be visually enjoyed from anywhere in the room.
Have your favorite romantic music set up and playing softly so that the visitor's ears will experience pleasure.
Set out some of your favorite perfume or cologne available so your guest can dash some lightly on his or her body. Also have ready your body lotion or massage oil and Vaseline.
Prepare some of your favorite foods or drinks, so you can bring it out at the appropriate time.
Make sure the bathroom is clean, and arrange it so that your guest can take a bubble bath or shower. Set out the best soap and fragrances you have.
Important: Stop getting the room ready as soon as your thirty minutes are up.
Change in Plans
After everything has been set up, imagine that the phone rings and your movie star, world leader, or royalty has had to postpone the visit.
Well, no use letting all these preparations go to waste. You will use this wonderful space to do your basic "Venus Butterfly" sensuality sexercises.
Taking a Sensual Bath
The purpose of taking this bath, which should take no more than 15 minutes, is to begin to wash away the tensions of the day and open your body up to feelings of pleasure.
Go to the bathroom and set out your candles and sweet fragrances such as perfume, cologne, bubble bath, and bath oils.
Draw your bath with just the temperature and fragrance you want.
Undress, hanging or folding your clothes nicely and neatly as if it were for someone for whom you cared a great deal.
Once you are undressed, slowly let yourself down into the bath water. Savor how the water feels as it touches each part of your body.
Splash the water on different parts to see how good the water feels to your skin.
What parts of you are enjoying the bath the most? Can you do something to allow the other parts of your body to also enjoy the feel of the water?
How much can you let yourself experience the light from the candles and the sweet fragrances?
When your fifteen minutes are up, get out of the bath, slowly and gently dry yourself off.
Jot down anything that you found pleasurable about the experience you just had: ___________________________ ___________________________ ___________________________ ___________________________
If you surprised your mate with the sensual bath you just experienced, what do you imagine their reaction would be?
___________________________ ___________________________ ___________________________ ___________________________
Finding Things to Like About Your Body
This next part of the sexercise is very important. It may help you to use a tape recorder. If you do, first record all of the following instructions, step by step. Then play them back to yourself as you are going through the sexercises. You may find it easier to turn the tape recorder on and off, instead of going back and forth to the book.
Make sure the place you are using is warm enough for you to be nude for about one hour.
Avoid the tendency to skip over or rush through any of the following steps.
1. With all your clothes off, get your hand mirror and go over to your full length mirror. Go over every inch of your body and find every area about which you can find something to like.
Normally, your attention tends only to be on the bad parts. You may keep saying and demonstrating that you are disappointed in your body. Remember, every time you do this, you are "watering the weeds."
Have a breakthrough. Cross the line over to being a person committed to more fun and pleasure; look only and specifically for things you like about your body.
If you come across an area you can find absolutely nothing good about, despite your best efforts, pass by it quickly and let go of that judgment. Just go on to the next area.
2. Start with the top of your head.
Look at the top of your head. You will need both mirrors to do this properly. Hold the smaller mirror over your head and tilt it so that you can see the top of your head in the full-length mirror.
Talk to yourself as if you were talking to another person, describing the good and interesting things that you see during the following exploration of your body. When you come to any part of your body that is a working or movable part, see how it looks and feels to squeeze it and wiggle and move it around.
What different shades of colors do you notice about each area on your body? What different shapes can you make out?
Closely examine your ears, wiggle them around with your fingers. What do you notice?
Which direction does your hair grow on different parts of your body.
As you lightly touch your body hair and notice that, like a cat's whiskers, you can pick up sensory input with it. This information will come in handy the next time you are making love to your partner.
Lightly and lovingly touch the hair on your eyebrows and eyelids. How does that feel?
Look closely at the skin on your face and neck. Can you see the different colors and types of skin in each area?
Check both eyes. Are they exactly the same? If not, describe the differences.
Look at your lips. Is the skin inside your mouth like the skin on your lips? Describe the differences you see.
3. Here's something you have never done before. Have you ever looked at your rectum in your whole life? If you're like most people, you don't even want to know what it looks like. Almost everybody imagines that it's horrible and disgusting. Look at it anyway.
Place your hand-held mirror on the floor. Get your flashlight. Squat down over the mirror. Shine the light into the mirror to illuminate your rectum, and see what it looks like. Describe anything attractive you can find about it.
Thoroughly examine your sexual organs.
If you are a woman, look at the outer lips of your vagina. Can you see that it looks somewhat like a flower? Do you see the petals?
If you are a man, closely examine your scrotum and penis from below. Can you see the variations of color, the different types of skin tissue, and the different kinds of hair growth?
4. Now, starting with the bottom of your feet, look at every part of your body that you have not examined yet. Remember, you are looking for things to like. Be aware and interested in the variations of color and the different types of skin tissue on every part of your body. Use both mirrors when necessary to see yourself from every angle. Don't forget your back.
Describe the variations of color and the different types of skin tissue that you see.
After doing all of the above, do you still believe you really need to be as embarrassed or ashamed as you were about many of your body parts?
Excerpted from Great Orgasms by Leah Schwartz, Bob Schwartz. Copyright © 1999 Walter P. Maksym. Excerpted by permission of St. Martin's Press.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.
Table of Contents
One: A What?,
Two: The Famous "Venus Butterfly" Technique,
Three: Doing The "Venus Butterfly" To Her,
Four: Doing The "Venus Butterfly" To Him,
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