A couple was invited to a masked Halloween Party. She got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone. So he took his costume and away he went.
The wife, after sleeping for an hour, awakened feeling much better so she decided to go to the party. Since her husband didn''t know what her costume was, she thought she would have some fun by watching him to see how he acted when she was not with him. So she got to the party and spotted her husband cavorting around on the dance floor, dancing with every nice chick he could.
His wife sidled up to him and being a rather seductive babe herself, he left his partner and devoted his time to the new stuff that had just arrived. She let him go as far as he wished; naturally, since he was her husband. Finally he whispered a little proposition in her ear and she agreed, so off they went to one of the cars put the seats back and screwed each other senseless.
Just before unmasking at midnight, she slipped away and went home and put the costume away and got into bed, wondering what kind of explanation he would make for his behavior.
She was sitting up reading when he came home and asked what kind of a time he had.
He said, "Oh, the same old thing. You know I never have a good time when you''re not there."
Then she asked, "Did you dance much?"
He replied, "I''ll tell you, I never even danced one dance. When I got there, I met Pete, Don and Bill and some other guys, so we went into the den and played poker all evening. But I''ll tell you... the guy I loaned my costume to, sure had a real good time!"
Top Signs That You're Too Old to Trick or Treat ...
10. You get winded from knocking on the door.
9. You have to have another kid chew the candy for you.
8. You ask for high fiber candy only.
7. When someone drops a candy bar in your bag, you lose your balance
and fall over.
6. People say, "What a scary mask!" but you're not wearing a mask!
5. When the door opens you yell, "Trick or..." and can't remember
4. By the end of the night, you have a bag full of restraining
3. You have to carefully choose a costume that won't dislodge your
2. You're the only Power Ranger in the neighborhood with a walker.
and last but not least...
1. You avoid going to houses where your ex-wives live.
Top Ten Reasons Trick or Treating is Better Than Sex:
10. Guaranteed to get at least a little something in the sack.
9. If you get tired, wait 10 minutes and go at it again.
8. The uglier you look, the easier it is to get some.
7. You don't have to compliment the person who gave you candy.
6. Person you're with doesn't fantasize you're someone else.
5. If you get a stomach ache, it won't last 9 months.
4. If you wear your Batman mask, no one thinks you're kinky.
3. Doesn't matter if kids hear you moaning and groaning.
2. Less guilt the next morning.
and, the #1 reason trick or treating is better than sex...
1. IF YOU DON'T GET WHAT YOU WANT, YOU CAN ALWAYS GO NEXT DOOR!
A little boy and girl go trick or treating. They knock on
the door of a house and the man who answers it says, "Well, you two are awful
cute! Who are you supposed to be?"
"We're Jack and Jill," she replied.
The man says, "You can't be Jack and Jill - you're black!"
So, they go off and a while later they come back dressed differently. They ring
the doorbell and once again the man opens the door. "Well, now, that is just
darn cute! Who are you this time?"
"We're Hansel and Gretel," says the little boy.
"Well, I hate to disappoint you son, but you can't be Hansel and Gretel because
you are black!"
Heads hung low, they leave. Not too much later the man hears the bell ring
again. This time when he opens the door there stands the two children but this
time, they are buck-naked. "Oh my! And just who are you supposed to be now?" he
"We're M & M's," said the little girl. "I'm plain. He's got nuts."
20 Ways To Confuse Trick-Or-Treaters
Give away something other than candy. (Toothpicks, golf balls, bags of
Wait behind the door until some people come. When they get near the
door, jump out, wearing a costume, and holding a bag, and yell, "Trick
or Treat!" Look at them, scratch your head, and act confused.
TO BE CONTINUED... Buy now and get enjoy the contents in full!
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