He Wins, She Wins: Learning the Art of Marital Negotiation

by Willard F. Harley Jr.

Overview

When you get married, you expect your relationship to be a partnership in which you make decisions and face the world together, united. But often a husband's perspective and a wife's perspective on the same issue can be very different and unity in decision making can be tough. Should spouses take turns getting their way? Should they compromise? Can they avoid making decisions altogether? Dr. Harley says there's a better way--a way in which both partners get what they want and believe is best every time.

In He Wins, She Wins, Dr. Harley introduces the revolutionary concept of joint agreement in marriage that keeps both husband and wife on equal footing and equally satisfied. This win-win model for negotiation starts with a simple rule: Never do anything without enthusiastic agreement between you and your spouse. Dr. Harley walks couples through the five most common sources of conflict in marriage, (friends and family, career and time management, finances, children, and sex), applying the joint agreement rule in every situation. And he teaches readers how to resolve conflicts the right way, so that not only are those conflicts resolved once and for all but the couple's love for one another actually grows and is sustained for the rest of their lives.

Anyone who has been married long enough to have a disagreement will benefit from this unique new book from everyone's favorite marriage doctor.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781441244918
Publisher:	Baker Publishing Group
Publication date:	10/01/2013
Sold by:	Barnes & Noble
Format:	eBook
Pages:	192
File size:	2 MB

About the Author

Willard F. Harley, Jr. is a nationally acclaimed clinical psychologist, a marriage counselor, and the bestselling author of numerous books, including His Needs, Her Needs; Five Steps to Romantic Love; Love Busters; and Draw Close. Harley's most-loved book, His Needs, Her Needs, is now available as a video curriculum for churches and small groups. His popular website, www.marriagebuilders.com, offers practical solutions to almost any marital problem.
Dr. Willard F. Harley, Jr. is a nationally acclaimed clinical psychologist, a marriage counselor, and the bestselling author of numerous books, including His Needs, Her Needs; Five Steps to Romantic Love; Surviving an Affair; Draw Close; and He Wins, She Wins. Harley's much-loved book, His Needs, Her Needs, is also available with a video curriculum for churches and small groups. His popular website, www.marriagebuilders.com, offers practical solutions to almost any marital problem.

Table of Contents

Introduction 7

Part 1 The Art of Marital Negotiation 9

1 Identifying the Problem 11

2 Men and Women Need Each Other 19

3 Why Win-Lose Doesn't Work 25

4 Keeping Romantic Love in Mind 39

5 A Win-Win Strategy 47

6 Negotiators, Take Your Places 55

7 Exceptions to the Rule 67

Part 2 Resolving Common Marital Conflicts with Negotiation 75

8 Conflicts over Friends and Relatives 77

9 Conflicts over Career Requirements and Time Management 89

10 Conflicts over Financial Management 99

11 Conflicts over Children 107

12 Conflicts over Sex 115

Part 3 Common Problems with Marital Conflict Resolution 127

13 How to Negotiate When You Are Emotional 129

14 How to Negotiate When No One Wants to Raise the Issue 135

15 How to Negotiate When You Are Indecisive 141

16 How to Negotiate When Doing Nothing Is What One Spouse Wants 145

17 How to Negotiate When You're Not Enthusiastic about Much 149

18 Putting Your Skills to Work 155

Appendix A Marital Negotiation Worksheet 159

Appendix B Emotional Needs Questionnaire 163

Appendix C Love Busters Questionnaire 175

Editorial Reviews

11/15/2013
Marriage counselor and author Harley (His Needs, Her Needs) here has created a model for marriage that allows both partners to get what they want. Each chapter discusses in detail common sources of marital conflict (friends and family, career and time management, finances, children, sex), applying the policy of joint agreement (the idea that both spouses need to be on the same page) to each situation. Harley sets guidelines for successful negotiations and emphasizes making the process pleasant and safe and identifying the problem from both perspectives. VERDICT This title provides clear strategies for developing and practicing a win/win mind-set; recommended for readers looking for advice on marriage or relationships in general.

Library Journal