He Wins, She Wins: Learning the Art of Marital Negotiation

He Wins, She Wins: Learning the Art of Marital Negotiation

by Willard F. Jr. Harley

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Overview

Willard F. Harley, Jr., is a nationally acclaimed clinical psychologist, a marriage counselor, and the bestselling author of numerous books, including His Needs, Her Needs; Five Steps to Romantic Love; Love Busters; and Surviving an Affair. Harley's most popular book, His Needs, Her Needs, is now available as a video curriculum for churches and small groups. His website, www.marriagebuilders.com, offers practical solutions to almost any marital problem. He and his wife, Joyce, host a daily radio call-in show, Marriage Builders Radio, that can be heard on radio stations nationwide andon his website.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780800722517
Publisher: Baker Publishing Group
Publication date: 10/01/2013
Pages: 192
Sales rank: 525,432
Product dimensions: 6.10(w) x 9.10(h) x 0.90(d)

About the Author

Willard F. Harley, Jr. is a nationally acclaimed clinical psychologist, a marriage counselor, and the bestselling author of numerous books, including His Needs, Her Needs; Five Steps to Romantic Love; Love Busters; and Draw Close. Harley's most-loved book, His Needs, Her Needs, is now available as a video curriculum for churches and small groups. His popular website, www.marriagebuilders.com, offers practical solutions to almost any marital problem.

Table of Contents

Introduction 7

Part 1 The Art of Marital Negotiation 9

1 Identifying the Problem 11

2 Men and Women Need Each Other 19

3 Why Win-Lose Doesn't Work 25

4 Keeping Romantic Love in Mind 39

5 A Win-Win Strategy 47

6 Negotiators, Take Your Places 55

7 Exceptions to the Rule 67

Part 2 Resolving Common Marital Conflicts with Negotiation 75

8 Conflicts over Friends and Relatives 77

9 Conflicts over Career Requirements and Time Management 89

10 Conflicts over Financial Management 99

11 Conflicts over Children 107

12 Conflicts over Sex 115

Part 3 Common Problems with Marital Conflict Resolution 127

13 How to Negotiate When You Are Emotional 129

14 How to Negotiate When No One Wants to Raise the Issue 135

15 How to Negotiate When You Are Indecisive 141

16 How to Negotiate When Doing Nothing Is What One Spouse Wants 145

17 How to Negotiate When You're Not Enthusiastic about Much 149

18 Putting Your Skills to Work 155

Appendix A Marital Negotiation Worksheet 159

Appendix B Emotional Needs Questionnaire 163

Appendix C Love Busters Questionnaire 175

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He Wins, She Wins: Learning the Art of Marital Negotiation 3 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 1 reviews.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
The thesis of this book is that each conflict or disagreement in marriage should be solved by working together to come to a solution that can be agreed to by both parties....enthusiastically. I think it had many good points and it made me think more critically about how I solve disagreements and problems in our marriage. This book would be good if you and your spouse are looking for a complete overhaul in the way you approach conflict in your marriage. He recommends a systematic strategy using a notebook and says that if you can't come to an enthusiastic agreement then you shouldn't do anything and you should just table the discussion until both sides can enthusiastically agree. I appreciate the encouragement to not just reluctantly agree to something in the name of 'serving' your spouse. He details the pitfalls of that attitude in the first few chapters. But ultimately I think that the book does not have enough practical advice about how to actually reach enthusiastic agreement when there are two sinful people involved. I found myself disagreeing with many things he suggested. For example, he discusses in one place how if your spouse doesn't like being around your parents because your parents are not kind to him/her then you should just tell your parents that you won't be coming to visit them until they start being nicer to your spouse. I guess I would agree if there is some kind of emotional abuse of your spouse going on, but I think that most conflicts are two sided and that your spouse would be responsible for some part of the issue. So unless you and your spouse are both committed to trying out the system then there are probably other marriage books that would be more beneficial. Ironically, both spouses need to be enthusiastic about trying this out for it to work. I was also turned off by the numerous times that he mentioned how he and his wife used these principles to have such a wonderful marriage. I get that he has 50 years of experience, but it came across as prideful instead of encouraging. Overall it was worth a read but wouldn't be my new go to marriage book.