When you get married, you expect your relationship to be a partnership in which you make decisions and face the world together, united. But often a husband's perspective and a wife's perspective on the same issue can be very different and unity in decision making can be tough. Should spouses take turns getting their way? Should they compromise? Can they avoid making decisions altogether? Dr. Harley says there's a better way--a way in which both partners get what they want and believe is best every time.
In He Wins, She Wins, Dr. Harley introduces the revolutionary concept of joint agreement in marriage that keeps both husband and wife on equal footing and equally satisfied. This win-win model for negotiation starts with a simple rule: Never do anything without enthusiastic agreement between you and your spouse. Dr. Harley walks couples through the five most common sources of conflict in marriage, (friends and family, career and time management, finances, children, and sex), applying the joint agreement rule in every situation. And he teaches readers how to resolve conflicts the right way, so that not only are those conflicts resolved once and for all but the couple's love for one another actually grows and is sustained for the rest of their lives.
Anyone who has been married long enough to have a disagreement will benefit from this unique new book from everyone's favorite marriage doctor.
|Publisher:||Baker Publishing Group|
|Sold by:||Barnes & Noble|
|File size:||2 MB|
About the Author
Dr. Willard F. Harley, Jr. is a nationally acclaimed clinical psychologist, a marriage counselor, and the bestselling author of numerous books, including His Needs, Her Needs; Five Steps to Romantic Love; Surviving an Affair; Draw Close; and He Wins, She Wins. Harley's much-loved book, His Needs, Her Needs, is also available with a video curriculum for churches and small groups. His popular website, www.marriagebuilders.com, offers practical solutions to almost any marital problem.
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
The thesis of this book is that each conflict or disagreement in marriage should be solved by working together to come to a solution that can be agreed to by both parties....enthusiastically. I think it had many good points and it made me think more critically about how I solve disagreements and problems in our marriage. This book would be good if you and your spouse are looking for a complete overhaul in the way you approach conflict in your marriage. He recommends a systematic strategy using a notebook and says that if you can't come to an enthusiastic agreement then you shouldn't do anything and you should just table the discussion until both sides can enthusiastically agree. I appreciate the encouragement to not just reluctantly agree to something in the name of 'serving' your spouse. He details the pitfalls of that attitude in the first few chapters. But ultimately I think that the book does not have enough practical advice about how to actually reach enthusiastic agreement when there are two sinful people involved. I found myself disagreeing with many things he suggested. For example, he discusses in one place how if your spouse doesn't like being around your parents because your parents are not kind to him/her then you should just tell your parents that you won't be coming to visit them until they start being nicer to your spouse. I guess I would agree if there is some kind of emotional abuse of your spouse going on, but I think that most conflicts are two sided and that your spouse would be responsible for some part of the issue. So unless you and your spouse are both committed to trying out the system then there are probably other marriage books that would be more beneficial. Ironically, both spouses need to be enthusiastic about trying this out for it to work. I was also turned off by the numerous times that he mentioned how he and his wife used these principles to have such a wonderful marriage. I get that he has 50 years of experience, but it came across as prideful instead of encouraging. Overall it was worth a read but wouldn't be my new go to marriage book.