Healing Well and Living Free from an Abusive Relationship: From Victim to Survivor to Overcomer

Healing Well and Living Free from an Abusive Relationship: From Victim to Survivor to Overcomer

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Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780800729653
Publisher: Baker Publishing Group
Publication date: 06/19/2018
Pages: 288
Sales rank: 128,808
Product dimensions: 5.50(w) x 8.40(h) x 0.80(d)

About the Author

Dr. Ramona Probasco holds a Doctorate in Psychology and has conducted extensive research in the area of domestic abuse. She is a Marriage and Family Therapist, a Certified Domestic Violence Counselor, and a Nationally Certified Counselor. She has been in private practice for more than twenty years. Dr. Ramona is an expert, sought-after speaker on domestic abuse and how to heal well from the trauma it causes. As a personal overcomer of domestic abuse, she offers guidance and insight to others based upon both her clinical expertise and her own experience. Dr. Ramona lives and works in southern California.

Table of Contents

Foreword 13

Preface 15

Introduction: Something Broke Inside Me 19

1 My Story 23

2 Breaking the Silence 37

3 Call It What It Is … Abuse 46

4 Why the Pain Outlasts the Bruises 56

5 Can a Band-Aid Heal a Broken Heart? 66

6 I Tried So Hard and Got So Little 75

7 Take an Honest Look at Yourself, Your Life, and Your Choices 87

8 Where Is God When I Hurt? 97

9 Do I Stay or Do I Go? 113

10 I'm Out, but I Still Feel Stuck 133

11 Forgiveness Frees … You! 140

12 Your Gut Is Your Guide 164

13 Community-Your Citadel of Choice 173

14 Free to Live, Really Live Again 185

15 Free to Love, Really Love Again 200

Healing Well and Living Free: A Guide for Overcomers 223

Appendix A Abuse Evaluation Form 227

Appendix B Safety Plans 233

Appendix C Flotlines and Resources 237

Appendix D Types of Abuse 242

Appendix E Cycle of Abuse 245

Appendix F Reasons You May Remain in an Abusive Relationship 247

Appendix G Reasons You May Leave an Abusive Relationship 249

Appendix H Why Abusers Don't Change 251

Appendix I Clear Signs an Abuser Has Changed 252

Appendix J Clear Signs an Abuser Has Not Changed 254

Appendix K Biblical Perspectives on Abuse and Divorce 255

Appendix L Maneuvers an Abuser Uses to Keep You from Leaving 261

Appendix M Danger Signs an Abuser May Turn Violent When You Attempt to Leave 263

Appendix N Healthy Anger 265

Appendix O Red Flags 267

Appendix P Signs of a Bad Dating Choice 269

Appendix Q Early Signs of Abuse 271

Appendix R Healthy versus Unhealthy Relationships 273

Notes 275

Acknowledgments 277

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Healing Well and Living Free from an Abusive Relationship: From Victim to Survivor to Overcomer 4.9 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 7 reviews.
James-Mc 9 months ago
This book is powerful. Dr. Ramona, an experienced domestic violence counselor, shares a path to heal well from abuse. As the path to recovery is laid out, Dr. Ramona shares her own painful and powerful story of severe physical and emotional abuse at the hands of her spouse, how she escaped abuse and was transformed into the free, powerful, loving woman she is today. Her love comes through in each page of this book. I had the privilege of meeting Dr. Ramona before I read the book. From simply reading her story, it seems impossible that she would be the strong, unflinching, woman of God that she is now. The book connected with me deeply. I am the child of a narcissistic father. The target audience of this book is spouses of domestic abuses, such as my mother. Sadly, she remains with my father in a 30+ year emotionally and faith-based abusive marriage. I have become estranged from both of my parents after suffering neglect and emotional, faith-based, and verbal abuse for many years. At my worst, I was agoraphobic, depressed, and so emotionally beaten down that I did not have the willpower to leave the house except maybe once or twice a week. Now, I am getting my PhD and marrying the love of my life. There is healing and there is hope. Through this book, I have learned to call abuse what it is, to endeavor to forgive my abuser and myself, and to love myself, as Jesus loves me. Healing is a process and I still struggle with severe anxiety at times and bouts of anger at my father, my mother, and myself. I’m learning to own and share my story. Healing well is a hard journey, but it is so worth it. I am worthy of love and belonging. You are worthy of love and belonging, too. I pray that you will read this book and take the steps to escape abuse and the mental prison that abuse makes. Meet you on the other side.
Anonymous 10 months ago
Such a comprehensive resource to help me understand some of the WHYs. It also reinforced things I doubt myself about. I'm not a reader, but heard Ramona on Dr. Janet Parshall's program and had to buy it. I carry it with me and refer to the dog-eared and highlighted pages almost daily. God bless the survivors of D.A.
PerlaOntiveros More than 1 year ago
I am a survivor of Domestic abuse. Dr. Ramona Probasco was my Therapist for about 5 years. I had to come to terms that it can happen to anyone, regardless of race, education, socioeconomic status, or culture. With her help I learned to call it what it is, understand the mindset of the multiple abusers, helped me to find ways to break the cycle of violence. I am still working in recognizing what forgiveness is and is not and that's why this book makes it easy for me to remember the strategies and ultimately that it does not have to be the end of the story, fortunately it was not, Dr. Ramona's teachings to healing well and living free have been a blessing and an opportunity that God sent me through her. As I read the pages, I hear Dr. Ramona sweet voice, encouraging me all the way through the moments of self doubt and weakness. I now consider myself a survivor and overcomer, I look forward to healthy relationships and to have a family of my own. Domestic abuse had robbed me of the desire to embrace relationships, as long as I continue the path to healing, I will continue to overcome. Thank you Dra. Ramona, May God continue to bless your caring heart and wise counsel towards those in pain, just like you have done for me.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
This book of tremendous courage is a must read. Dr. Ramona’s book is written with transparency of her own harrowing story of abuse, survivorship, and healing with the desire to offer hope and guidance to others. It is as if she is holding her hand out to walk you through your own journey of freedom and healing. I highly recommend this book if you are looking for strength and guidance from a gentle and loving proponent like Dr. Ramona.
LCSJ More than 1 year ago
I can testify to the validity of Healing Well and Living Free as I have known the author from her surviving stage to her blossoming in overcoming the pain of domestic abuse. The scope of this book is comprehensive because of that journey. Beyond just her powerful testimony, Dr. Ramona has appended many practical tools ranging from an abuse evaluation form, safety plans, and hotlines and resources. She also details the signs that an abuser has changed, clear signs an abuser has not changed, as well as signs of a bad dating choice. The sad truth is that if you do not deal with yourself well, the cycle can start again. Fortunately, Dr. Ramona has created a template for that very thing. Through her guidance, you can process yourself to wholeness and find the same freedom to truly live. It will not be easy but it will be doable. So be brave, be strong. You have nothing to lose at this point and your health, your hope and happiness to gain. In particular, the chapter on forgiveness is profound. I have read many books and articles on the subject but her presentation opened new vistas in my understanding. Forgiveness is a deep human issue that must be effectively addressed for wholeness and healing and I believe my friend has. Although the target readers are individuals in an abusive situation, this book will serve a larger audience. It is a highly functional manual for clergy and laity alike who deal in abuse situations and it is a resource of information for anyone. Consider your coworker who timidly makes excuses for her constant injuries, or your neighbor who shared that she is afraid of her boyfriend. We each know those whose lives could forever benefit from the knowledge in this book. Dr. Ramona’s narrative in Healing Well and Living Free is powerful and compelling. And the same result is achievable for anyone…if you have the heart to stay the course and work through the material.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
One of the most honest and beautifully written books I've ever read. Dr. Ramona Probasco is an incredible human and a woman of strength and integrity. What an incredible journey and story she has shared with us. I highly recommend this book to anyone in any type of relationship.
inShield More than 1 year ago
Powerful, powerful book the way Dr. Ramona integrates her personal story and the stories of her clients to show there is hope of a better life even if you are in the midst of an abusive relationship. Her writing is gentle and compassionate...the voice of one who has been there so she understands, yet full of authority to offer confidence to those who are struggling to believe life can be better. I have not only read Healing Well and Living Free but will be giving it to those I love who need encouragement and guidance on the path to healing. Since 1 out of 4 women and 1 out of 7 men will experience severe domestic violence during their lifetime, we ALL know someone who could use this book. Maybe it’s you and you haven’t yet called it what it is (one of the steps Dr. Ramona covers in the book) or someone you love but this book gives practical, gentle insights in how to heal WELL, not just heal. I highly recommend Healing Well and Living Free from an Abusive Relationship. Dr. Ramona is truly an Overcomer and has a heart to help others reach that place, too.