He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys

He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys


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He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys 4.1 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 520 reviews.
Balina More than 1 year ago
I loved this book and loved every minute reading this.
Guest More than 1 year ago
A friend of mine raved about this book, so in spite of the put-down sounding title (which I think also generalizes men, and women), I picked up a copy. And yes, was disappointed. The book focuses on excuses women make to convince themselves that men are 'into them' when they're 'not.' First, I thought the points were obvious - for example, a man who doesn't call when he says he would. According to the book, if he doesn't, he's not into you. Second, there could be a multitude of reasons why that aren't related to how into you he is or isn't. But that being said, the reasons may not matter. For the more appropriate question in my view is 'How do you want to be treated in a relationship?' To instead ask whether or not 'he's into you' is to assume that he's finding you lacking in some way. Yes, the book says you're great, pretty, etc. but if the authors really believe that, then why all the repetition of the only reason a guy isn't acting like Prince Charming is that you don't interest him enough (with the token positive comment added on after all the negativity)? Perhaps the guy is unavailable for other reasons - past relationship bruises, his present level of emotional maturity and readiness to love, etc. To assume it's all about the woman, and whether he thinks she merits his attention is simplistic, and disempowering for women and men. Also, I don't think many women would want to be involved with or marry a man who treated her well only because he was 'into her' and had treated other women poorly because he wasn't into them. Not me anyway - only a man who treats all women and men well is worth it, in my book. This book doesn't match my personal experience either - of a couple of men who'd told me they'd been too nervous to ask me out for a very long time, of the male friends who'd told me they'd been so broken by their previous relationships that they feared getting into another one (and I witnessed their hesitation for years - and yes - the women they married did a lot of the work in the beginning), of the men I know who have told me that they often 'reject before being rejected' etc. So what's of value here? The hint that deciding what kind of relationship you want and seeking someone who treats you well (though hopefully because of who he is as a person, not his evaluation of you). But there are plenty of books out there written by people who possess and offer much deeper knowledge of relationships than the writers of this book, and who offer it in a way that is affirming, rather than negative. One title that goes to the heart of relationships in a positive and clear way is 'The New Couple,' by Maurice Taylor and Seana McGee. A book written for men by a psychologist (also a man) but that I think many women would find very helpful is 'When Good Men Behave Badly' by David Wexler (yes, another cliche title - and possibly one that's off- putting to men[!] - but the content of the book is solid, deep and respectful of people. I've found it countless times more helpful than this one). On a more general level, Don Miguel Ruiz's books - 'The Four Agreements,' 'The Mastery of Love' and 'The Voice of Knowledge' are helpful reminders of all the 'stories' that are told in our culture (like those in this book) - and how they distort reality and how damaging they can be to our healthy and happy functioning. In questions of relationship, I think it's good to turn towards people who have knowledge (psychologists for example) and write with maturity in this area. The content of this particular book stays on the surface of the things, and I think is presented in a unnecessarily negative manner that puts women down. Not something I'd recommend to anyone, and I'm concerned about all the hype over this one - for I think it can steer women in an unhealthy direction, where we ask the wrong ques
LucyBP More than 1 year ago
I watched the movie first which prompted me to purchase the book. I read it in an evening. I could not put it down. A friend had told me the book would upset me due to the way it portrays women. Sorry friend, but the book is accurate. Ladies, we act as though we are questioning men's behaviors when what we really want is to not recognize them for what they are. They are clearly communicating to us. We just need to understand their language. This book teaches you "Manlish" so you can now understand. Read the book. It is empowering. Ladies, there is nothing more you can do and no more of a person you can be than who you are to convince a man to love you. Love yourself more!
Guest More than 1 year ago
I was a frustrated dater when I picked up this book, and i ended up not finding what i was looking for in it, but that was just because my issues with men wasn't covered at all in this book. Whether you end up hating or loving the book, it does offer a nice excuse for women to continue to be picky. The main purpose, of women's over-analysis of men and also the way women make excuses for guys, truly points out that men are not as complex as women make them out to be. Even though it was hard to read or accept I found the book refreshing. The willingness to accept Greg's idea varies from person to person
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Its something that you know deep down is true, but you don't vocalize. You want to believe that you're the exception, but the truth is, guys are all the same: he's just not that into you. And this book has a witty, non-hurtful way of bringing that point home. Something that every independent female this day and age should read and laugh about.
booknerd73 More than 1 year ago
This was a wonderful book. It truly opened my eyes to the kinds of men I don't want to be around. I love how the authors gave the male and female perspectives. What a great book!
Guest More than 1 year ago
This book was recommended to me by a coworker who wanted me to read it so badly she even lent me her copy. I loved it and I didn't want to give it back! Now I'm purchasing my own copy and have been raving about it to many of my friends, single or not. And yes we know a lot of it is common sense, but some of us need to hear it anyway. One of my favorite things about reading this book were the '100% of men polled... were not too busy to pick up the phone...' because i could just picture the men answering honestly when they werent concerned about the girl they just werent that into hearing them. Another favorite irony about this book was how he (the one i've been in a long term on and off relationship with) would always call to tell me he missed me or couldnt wait to see me, whenever i picked up the book to remind me of how perfect things should be and used to be and how not perfect and inconsistant they are now. This book is an excellent guide to those in and in between 'relationships'!!!!
Guest More than 1 year ago
I think this can really clue women in, but it's a little too absolute about the simplicity of men. If I followed the advice in this book, I wouldn't be with my husband. We were friends for three years before getting together, even though I had wanted more from the start. He seemed unsure for a long time about the possibility of romance between us, and told me the classic 'I'm not ready to commit.' I did lay off, but still pined away for him. If I followed the advice in this book I would have had to let go far too early. Maybe my man is not as simple as the men in this book. He truly needed time. We eventually discovered a great love in each other, and when this happened, he was more commited to me, at first, than I to him. Enjoy the book, but don't let this book oversimplify men.
Skeernc More than 1 year ago
I bought this book for someone else, but started to read it and realized i WAS being used! It changed my life. I read this book in one sitting and loved it. My guess is some women will still be in denial after reading this book, but they can't say they weren't warned. Thank you for writing this. I hope others will be bold and take this important advice.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
This is a dating/relationship book that is truly enlightening. It's good stuff to know and shouldn't be overlooked. I hightly recommend it.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I think there are so good points in the book. But basically I think that every women knows this stuff just doesn't want to admit it to herself. I didn't find it to helpful and will be passing the book off to someone else. Good, informative books I keep, have highlighted and marked off pages and buy new ones to give to my friends. This one, I am giving away to some teenager.
GinaP72 More than 1 year ago
This is the stuff your father would have told you if he'd been able to articulate as well. I expect many women will want to argue the theories in the book, but a little honest self-analysis should show them the truth. We all get tired of waiting, but really, which is worse, being in a bad relationship or being alone and happy? I'll take the latter anyday!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I think this is just a good book for all people to follow. Men and women. It had some very funny parts.
Ruby7796 More than 1 year ago
I was hoping for more of a story type novel but this was in the self help section of the bookstore. It was written in a question and answer format. I liked the book and wanted to read it before the movie came out. It is certainly insightful for all women, in any stage of life, in a humorious sort of way. Enjoyed the book overall.
nicolie1 More than 1 year ago
I love this book its funny. and points out all the crap that women put up with. This book isnt gunna make a guy that is not intrested in you like you. its guna show you that sumthings wrong with you if your putting up with a guys crap. my momma always says a guy will only do to you what you allow. think about it.
Guest More than 1 year ago
This is the only book I ever,in my life, threw away without its being damaged somehow. The 'author' purports to be trying to empower women by saying they deserve better than what certain men give them. I don't dispute that women deserve better, but frankly this book just gives rotten, inconsiderate men an out!! If, after reading this book, a woman tosses out a guy who isn't 'that into her' by the book's standards, all she has done is let him off the hook for his crummy behavior. I'm surprised more women haven't commented on this. The book claims men would do anything rather than say something to a woman that he knows she doesn't want to hear. Well, maybe as women, we should start making them do the hard thing and talking to us, not letting them off the hook easily by saying, 'Oh, he just isn't into me.' Maybe he isn't, but make him say it!! We say it to them, right? So don't bother with this book unless what you really want is an excuse to let somebody get off easy, again!!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
This book is a tough one. It's got a really good message--when to move on when a guy is just not interested. However, it can make you face up to some issues you might be having, inadvertantely. I do recommend it because the message is one some of us need to hear, it's just hard. But then again, it's better than having egg on your face. All in all, a good book with a message that might be slightly unsettling. He's not into you, so move on. No biggie.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
This book is insulting. Greg is flat out rude. I couldn't finish it it's a waste of my time and money. Don't buy it.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Good read, recommend by a good friend, dating isn't easy
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I love this book. Even if we women don't want to admit it, Greg speaks the absolute truth!! Read it and set yourself free ladies!!!
Chenny50 More than 1 year ago
I read this book and it did help. I am still single so I blame no one but myself, circumstance, and location. Some of the negative responses I have read sound like some jaded women. I refer to the book every now and then to pull myself back to reality. I have pretty much given up on men at this point. I am 50 and think my ship has sailed. Fort Wayne Indiana is not place to be single and a blk woman. :-)
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
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Becca-Gurl More than 1 year ago
This book really made me think about what was going on in my life. It really made me see how I was really being treated and was so obsessed over guys who were not giving me the time of day. It really made me think about what was going on around me and it allowed me to really see who I was while being quirky and funny while also not being too harsh on giving me the facts.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Loved the movie and love the book! I have read a few of the comments bashing this book and I just don't get it. I have had my fair share of bad dates, as well as great ones! I don't think this book is in any way meant to be demeaning. It simply states that if a man is REALLY into you, there will be no question in your mind. No analysis of words, actions, texts, etc. You will just know! And it can go both ways, too. Many times, I have not been that into men and they have analyzed what I've said or texted to them. Men, in general, just aren't as talkative as women are. They don't all sit around with each other saying "Well, she said she'd call me this weekend, but I never heard from her? What do you think that means?" Men are not like women. Again, this is general and of course there are some men more in tune with the way women communicate. This book truly helped me out of a breakup, as well as see the light over many guys I have started off strong with then for no reason they stopped calling. I don't take offense to it. I now find peace and satisfaction in knowing it just was not meant to be. I am willing to wait for the man that will do anything and everything to make sure I don't get away. I have read a few of these comments about how we shouldn't let guys "off the hook" and should make them explain "why". Why would I want to question and "make" a man tell me why he doesn't want to be with me? If he doesn't, then so be it. There are plenty of other men out there who do! Great book, if you can handle the truth. Probably not a great book if you're still looking for that man who will sugar coat everything to avoid hurting your feelings.