Hidden Messages

Hidden Messages


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Hidden Messages by Elizabeth Pantley

What are you really telling your children?

Elizabeth Pantley, the creator of the bestselling No-Cry parenting books, shows you how to improve the hidden messages behind your words and deeds. She shares with you other parents' stories that demonstrate how they unknowingly sent their kids negative messages through their words and actions. After each story she provides a gentle lesson by showing the child's perspective on the same scenario and offers suggestions for a positive outcome.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780809297702
Publisher: McGraw-Hill Professional Publishing
Publication date: 09/01/2000
Series: Pantley Series
Pages: 224
Sales rank: 1,017,028
Product dimensions: 6.00(w) x 9.00(h) x 0.54(d)

About the Author

Elizabeth Pantley is a parent, educator, and author of the bestselling No-Cry parenting books, including The No-Cry Sleep Solution and The No-Cry Potty Training Solution.

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Hidden Messages 5 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 8 reviews.
Guest More than 1 year ago
No exaggeration: this book may well change your relationship with your children forever. With amazing insight, Elizabeth Pantley gives us a glimpse into our children's souls during everyday exchanges: grocery shopping, coming home from work, and other ordinary times in our day. What she reveals will definitely make you think twice about some of the ways you've responded in the past. Who among us hasn't brushed off a child who wants to play? Phone calls, email, dishes, and laundry await. But Pantley's tale of the girl waiting for Dad to come home will affect you far more deeply than the platitude 'They'll be grown up before you know it.' For every parent, at every stage.
Guest More than 1 year ago
I have 3 children ages 11, 4, and 4 months. I loved this book, and have read many sections more than once. It is very easy to understand, and the solutions are easy to implement into your parenting. I think every parent will be gently awakened and surprised to find out they are 'that' parent in some of the stories. INVAULABLE!!!!!
Guest More than 1 year ago
Our son is only 2 1/2, and a lot of the stories in this book apply more to kids who are a little older, so it has served us more as a warning before we have a chance to send many messages that we don't mean. _Hidden Messages_ really made us stop and think about what our son is actually learning from what we're trying to teach him. We've never been disappointed by an Elizabeth Pantley book, and this is no exception!
Guest More than 1 year ago
Everything we do is giving a message to our children. A scary thought? Certainly, especially when we realise that often we are unknowingly giving them entirely the WRONG message. Sometimes we are inadvertently teaching our children the exact OPPOSITE of what we would like to. The good news is that we can learn to give our kids the messages we really WANT them to get! Hidden Messages: What our words and actions are really telling our children is a book that EVERY parent needs to read. As always, Elizabeth Pantley challenges us to think about our parenting and teaches us how to make changes that can have dramatic effects on the lives of our families. Her style is gentle and positive. As Dr. William Sears writes in his foreword, ¿Sure to gently tweak the consciences of even the best parents, inspire them to raise their children in a more conscious and sensitive manner ¿ and tug at the heartstrings as a reminder to give constructive messages to our children¿. This book is DIFFERENT! Elizabeth Pantley uses stories (some real, some partly contrived) to illustrate a whole variety of parenting lessons. This is very effective indeed. Many parents will be able to see themselves in some of the examples. As I read, I felt at times shocked, at times amazed, at times I even shed a tear or two. I learnt a great deal about myself, my parenting, and how to make some important changes. When you read this book, be prepared to be moved. Hidden Messages consists of 33 stories, grouped into the categories: messages about responsibility and independence; messages about thoughtfulness and kindness; messages about annoyance and anger; messages about relationships; messages about discipline and behavior; messages about listening and caring and love; messages about time and priorities and messages about parenting styles. Each story is followed by the ¿hidden message¿ (see if you can work it out for yourself while reading the story!), ¿think about it¿ and ¿changes you can make¿. In these 33 short stories, you are taken on a kind of journey of all that is important in parenting. You are challenged (ever so gently) to examine your own relationship with your children and given the tools to grow and mature in your parenting journey. This is an amazing book! I thoroughly recommend it to every parent ¿ the messages contained in it are simply too important to miss.
Guest More than 1 year ago
Elizabeth Pantley's latest book, extracts of which have been featured in the Practical Parenting newsletter. I love the style of this book; it takes stories bases on real life parenting situations and then draws out key messages about what we are really teaching our children; then pointers are provided for change. This book could also be used by practitioners in their work to prompt reflection and insight. Great book!
Guest More than 1 year ago
Have you have just come from refereeing one more fight between the children? Are you lying down on your bed from exhaustion after dashing from school, to the shops, to the laundry, to the gym, and picked up the dry-cleaning on the way back? Oh, and did you pick up the wet towels in the bathroom on the way back? What about the gym shoes left on the stairs? If this is what your routine is like, then Elizabeth Pantley has written Hidden Messages just for you. She divides the book into different topics, or `flash points¿, those factors which arise in many households such as The New Baby, Superwoman, Manners, and more. How do we pass on messages about responsibility, independence, thoughtfulness and kindness without nagging? She describes scenes which may be horribly familiar to you, then decodes the hidden message we have given our children, and suggests alternatives. In this way she explains what our words and actions are really telling our children. Some of these examples may make you blush, and others make you gasp in horror as you recall using those very words this morning! Once you see what she is saying, the rest falls into place. She doesn¿t preach, but she gently explains how we hand over the wrong messages to the kids when we say certain things, and how much easier it is for the children, and the parents, if we can truly say what we mean. This book will make you stop and reconsider the effect your words have on your children. Buy it, you won¿t regret it. And, in the long term, neither will your children!
Guest More than 1 year ago
I was SO surprised to find that some of the things I have been doing to/for/with my children actually can have the opposite effect as what I had planned! Here I was thinking that I was being such a great mother, when huge mistakes were lurking beneath the surface. I hate to give away the punchline, so I won't give exact details, except to say that I have really changed my way of raising my children. Another really great thing about this book is that it doesn't read like a million other boring parenting books -- the format is set up in stories that are a real joy to read. I found myself laughing and crying my way through them. The 'Hidden Message' after each story often took my breath away - WOW! (I would think) I've never thought of it that way before. I highly recommend this book - you'll learn things that you never expected to learn. It'll change your life. It did mine.
Guest More than 1 year ago
No one is perfect and even with the best of intentions, we all make mistakes. This great new book offers us an insight into some of the things we may be unintentionally telling our children through our words, actions and through our lack of action. HIDDEN MESSAGES offers us the chance to look at everyday situations with a new eye. In a supportive way, Ms. Pantley reveals the way children may be recieving our messages and what we can do to offer children the best parenting we can give. By understanding the common mistakes that many of us make and taking the suggestions offered to change the way we act and react with our children, we can easily learn to be better, more succesful parents.