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Holding Time 5 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 6 reviews.
Guest More than 1 year ago
Holding is difficult. It depends on the family strength and will-power to maintain a nurturing connection with the child. But I am truly convinced that, in the case of my children at least, both of my adopted children would have been in deep trouble. Their behavior was terrible in the extreme. James, age 9, would have become a sociopath and ended up in prison. Sonia, age 10, would have been engaged in antisocial behaviors - shoplifting, self-mutilation or teenage pregancy. I've seen it too often in other families. In our case we needed coaching on how to safely do holding within our family. But after we got it (a 2-day program) we were able to dramatically alter the behavior of both children. Before the 2-day intensive program, they would fight all day long, a major meltdown every 25 minutes. After the intensive I think they went 6 months without a fight. It was like someone cut fighting out of our home life. Is it hard? Yes. Is it countercultural? Yes. But for those families lucky enough to have supportive resources for the mom (who ends up doing the big share of nurturing) it works.
Guest More than 1 year ago
Thank you for Holding Time and for our 2-day intensive therapy for adopted children from Russia. The results go on and on. I will try to document them and hope that it will help others. I will do whatever I can to help in Dr. Welch¿s work. I am so grateful and I just keep thinking of people I know personally who could benefit from Holding Time - people who have really lost their children. My husband has really come through. It's easier for him to be open at home. Here are a couple of highlights. We have been holding with our 8 yr old girl about her body shame. My husband can now touch her face so gently, crying, and tell her how beautiful she is to him over and over. I never thought that I would see anything like that in my life because he had totally cut her out. My son Danil has changed miraculously in a neurological way! He suddenly can catch a ball looking straight at it which my husband has been trying to teach him for years. He walked through the woods fast for an hour with me without falling, without clinging to my hand, without asking me to watch him, jumping over rocks, logs and streams smoothly. This is a total change for him. As much as the kids have changed, we have changed also. I have opened up my perceptions in a new way and I now do not see the kid's behavior. What I now see is the connection with me. I feel it and see it. When it weakens I know I have to hold them. We've had lots of holdings. It's the strength of the bond that counts. I can see it more and more clearly. It's a physical thing to me, like a cord between us. Dr. Welch, you give so much of yourself. Thank you for a new life of hope and closeness.
Guest More than 1 year ago
I first read your book 12 years ago, when my eldest son was 8. I started Holding Time with my son for one hour twice a week. My son is now 20. He always said that holding saved his life. He used those words when he was only nine and continued to refer to holding as his saving grace as he grew up. Once after holding he told me how his shoes finally fit him. He finally felt he could stand up on the earth. He had found his place in life. For me, it allowed me a connection with my son that I had never thought was possible. After an especially poignant holding where I believe he relived his birth. I had the thought, 'if I died now it would be O.K. because he has directly experienced my love for him. He would always know it.' I want to tell you about my son, a grown-up 'held' child. He is in university in Europe, under scholarship. He is studying International Relations at a school for International Studies. He is fluent in two languages and is working on a third. Aside from his excellent grades, he plays basketball for the school and was selected to be a Residential Assistant next year. It is an expensive school and he works 20 hours a week to supplement his expenditures. He has close friends from many different European countries and the Middle east. More importantly he is incredibly caring and conscientious of others. He loves life and repeatedly tells my husband and I how thankful he is to be alive and how happy he is. People like him, he likes others. There is very little inner personal struggle. Drugs and alcohol have never been a problem. The reckless teenage years never happened in our home. Instead our home was a place where my son and his friends hung out and talked with us. I attribute my son's success in life to holding. Now as I hold his younger brother and that little seven year old struggles within my support to find his place in life, I know that I am giving him the basis for life. Wow, you have made good parenting a real possibility. Holding Time did what no therapy could ever have afforded him. With Profound Thanks. K. Z. and Kenneth Bradford
Guest More than 1 year ago
Words cannot express my gratitude to Dr. Welch for Holding Time. Since using it, my adopted 8 year old's spirit is buoyant and her eyes twinkle again. Her laughter and songs have begun to fill the house. She still gets upset with characteristic passion, but we move through it together and much more quickly now. I recognize the work I have to do in connecting with my feelings so that I can meet her at a heart level. It's also become very clear to me that this work is not only crucial for mothering a child with attachment problems, but also for a mother to fulfill her true commission here on earth. The Lord gave Dr. Welch a special gift, that she now shares with so many. She has developed the art of shepherding lost mothers and children back to a place of heart connection in a world dominated by the mind. Blessings to you, Martha, and to your life's work.
Guest More than 1 year ago
How thrilled I was to find the marthawelch.com website. I read Dr Welch's book 'Holding Time' before my first child was born, and thought it was wonderful. I practised her therapies with my all my girls. I remember looking for Dr Welch on the Internet,but I did not find her at the time (about 5 or 6 years ago)It seemed as if she had disappeared off the face of the earth with her wonderful ideas. So, how exciting to see that Holding Time is still 'alive and well' and that Dr Welch continues to hold seminars and conferences. If ever there is one in London, I shall be there! God bless her and all who work with her! Mrs. Anderson
Guest More than 1 year ago
We used 'holding time' for those times when our older daughter went completely out of control: hitting us, spitting, trashing her room, won't stay in timeout, etc. It was very successful for us. So successful, that we almost never use it now. My wife and I found Holding Time complementary to Rosemond's 'Making the 'Terrible' Twos Terrific.' Ignore the author's insistence that the technique only works for mothers. This 'maternal gatekeeping' rubbish mars an otherwise extraordinary book.