Hot Mess

Hot Mess

by Emily Belden

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Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781525811418
Publisher: Graydon House Books
Publication date: 03/20/2018
Pages: 416
Sales rank: 275,932
Product dimensions: 5.20(w) x 7.90(h) x 1.30(d)

About the Author

Emily Belden is a journalist, social media marketer, and storyteller. She is the author of the novels Hot Mess and Husband Material, and of Eightysixed: A Memoir about Unforgettable Men, Mistakes, and Meals. She lives in Chicago.

Read an Excerpt

CHAPTER 1

"Are you going to be okay?"

His question gives me pause. Will I be okay? Was "okay" a hypothetical three exits ago?

All things considered, I'm hurtling through time and space with a guy whose recovery from a serious cocaine addiction matters as much as the rise of his chocolate soufflé tonight. So I answer honestly.

"I don't know." My voice sounds far away.

"Well if you're not sure, change. You'll be walking at least five miles between ushering people to tables and the bathroom and running back and forth from the kitchen."

"Oh, shoes. You're asking if I'm going to be okay in these shoes." I glance down at my black platform wedges.

"Yeah, babe. What the hell else would I be talking about?"

He grabs the bottom of my chin and plants a quick kiss on my lips before he rinses a whisk in the sink.

The shells of seventy-five hardboiled eggs are in the trunk of a car I rented to shuttle all the shit required for tonight's guests, I took an unpaid day off from work to be here to help, and my parents are about an hour away from arriving to this special "comeback dinner," which will be the first time they've seen Benji somewhere other than the headlines in the last thirty days.

And he was worried about my shoes.

"I'll be fine," I say sweetly, knowing now is not the time for a true audit of my emotional well-being. Tonight is about Benji's big return and my confidence that all — including my shoe choice — will go as smoothly as the housemade butter at room-temp that he's just whipped up.

I find my reflection in a nearby cryo-vac machine and take out a tube of my go-to matte pale pink lipstick from my makeup bag. I sweep it across my bottom lip, then fill in just above my lip line on the top for the illusion of a slightly fuller mouth. After all, I know at least half the guest list is here to see what the woman behind the man looks like.

Speaking of lists, I can see Benji in the reflection as well, leaning over a stainless steel counter consulting the prep list for tonight's dinner service. He takes a black Sharpie from the pocket of his apron and puts a quick slash through each item as he recites them out loud to himself.

I come up behind him and cast my arms around him slowly; my touch puts him at ease. He curls his left arm up to hold my arms in place and continues to mouth ingredients one by one to make sure he hasn't forgotten anything. It sounds like sweet nothings being whispered to me a romance language I barely understand.

Benji crumples the list, a sign he's successfully on track with everything from the dehydrated goat's milk to emulsified caramel, and I snap out of my schoolgirl daydream. He turns to face me, shuffles a few steps back in his worn kitchen clogs, and bends down to shake out his longish dark hair.

He shimmies a hair tie — my hair tie — off his right wrist and ties his mane up into a disheveled topknot. For anyone who says the man-bun trend isn't their thing, they're lying.

He re-ties his white apron for the umpteenth time over a tight black T-shirt that shows off his tattooed-solid arms. I know for a fact he doesn't work out, but somehow he's been blessed with the body of a lumberjack. The only thing missing is the ax, which has been appropriately swapped out for an expensive Santoku knife custom engraved with some filigree and his initials: BZ.

No doubt he's got the "hot and up-and-coming chef" thing down: tattooed, confident, exhausted, and exhilarated. Hard to believe this isn't a casting event for Top Chef.

Harder to believe this is the man I get to take home every night.

"FUCK! Are you kidding me, Sebastian? Where the fuck is the lid to that thing?" Benji's words effectively snap me out of the trance I was in danger of being lulled into. It takes me a minute to realize what happened: his sous chef Sebastian has pressed "pulverize" on a Vita-Mix full of would-be avocado aioli, except the lid to the blender is nowhere to be found. Green schmutz has gone flying, marking up Benji's pristine apron like the start of a Jackson Pollock piece.

"Sorry, chef. I got it on now." Tail between his legs, Sebastian gets back to work as Benji furiously wipes at the streak with his bare hand. He's making it worse.

"Benji. Breathe." I grab his half-drank can of LaCroix and pour a little onto a clean kitchen rag. While tending to the stain in the hot kitchen, I look directly into those deep brown eyes and give him a reassuring smile. He smells of cigarettes and sweat, garlic and onions. It's intoxicating.

"I know, Allie. This is just ... huge for me. Huge for us. The press is going to be here tonight." He wipes some sweat off his brow.

"And my parents," I whisper.

"Oh god, them too." He releases the tension by cracking the bones in his neck. A poor substitute, I imagine, for his true preference: a shot of whiskey.

But even a slug of 120 proof wouldn't take the edge off the fact that Benji's pop-up dinners are the new It Thing. People salivate at their screens just waiting for him to tweet out the next time and place he'll be cooking. Why? Because he's the hottest chef in Chicago and you can't taste his food at any restaurant. So when he announces a dinner, it's a mad, server-crashing race to claim one of only twelve spots at the table. And when everyone wants to see how the reformed addict is faring, they'll cancel all their plans for the day on the off chance they'll be one of the first to submit a reservation request, followed by prompt pre-payment — which all goes to me, the fan-favorite girlfriend of Benji Zane.

I can't blame his followers for the obsession. Our flash-in-the-pan love story was covered by the most read food blog back in the spring, and since then, there have been myriad articles chronicling his love-hate relationship with hard drugs and high-end cooking. Between his unlikely relationship with me, his checkered past, and his unmatched kitchen skills, Benji's managed to divide people like we're talking about healthcare reform or the immigration.

Half see him as a prodigy in the kitchen who was given a second chance when some no-name poster child of millennial living suddenly inspired him get clean. The other half of Chicago views him as an all-hype hack who uses the media attention to rob his patrons of their hard-earned money so he can get his next score.

Fuck those people. Because the Benji that I know, that I live with ... well, he's a stand-up guy whose brunch — and bedroom — game happens to be on point.

"Listen, babe," I say. "What did I tell you? I'm not going to let you down tonight, okay? I'll pace the seating however you need me to. I'll greet the press and spot the critics, too. We got this, okay? I believe in you." And I do.

I don't always agree to help Benji at his pop-ups — usually I just accept the reservation requests and keep the books straight. But tonight is different. Benji told me yesterday that he's got an outstanding dealer debt to pay off and so he's oversold the dining room by about twenty-five chairs to try and make a little extra cash. Without me here to help host a guest list of this size, this highly-publicized dinner would look and feel more like a dysfunctional family reunion. Something I'm sure the piranha-like press would love to write about.

I wanted to be pissed about this little "oops" moment. How careless could he be? Now, by over-inviting a hoard of overzealous foodies, and in the past, by racking up a $2,000 coke bill. But he assured me it's just one of those things that needs to be handled in order for him to move on with his sobriety. And that's what I signed up for by being his girlfriend: unconditional support and a back that would never turn on him.

He's even arranged for Sebastian to be the one to hand over the cash tonight after the last diner goes home. Consider it just another example of how hungry people are to work alongside Mr. Zane. The same set of hands is willing to debone fifty squab and pay off gang-banging drug dealers from the south side, all in the same night.

I don't blame Sebastian, though. There's something about Benji that makes you want to strap in for the ride. It's like rushing a sorority: you'll do what you need to do to get in, because ultimately, you end up part of something bigger than yourself. I just don't think any of us know what that something is yet.

At least that's the way I see it from my vantage point, which is currently the groin area of a brand new apron that was marked with an unsightly stain until I stepped in.

"See babe?" I say. "All clean."

Benji pulls me in for a kiss, his hand cupped around the back of my neck. With my French twist fragile in his palm, I feel the stress in the kitchen disintegrate. I'm no superhero, but if I were, my power would surely be managing to make it all okay for him, every time. It doesn't even matter that there's garlic burning in a sauté pan, my lipstick is now smeared, or that my work email is probably blowing up with a hundred notifications an hour.

"You're my rock, babe," he tells me, tucking a few strands of loose hair behind my ears. I love hearing that I'm doing a good job, because it's not always easy.

"Okay, so here's the final guest list," he says, getting back to business. Benji hands me a piece of paper from the back pocket of his charcoal-gray skinny jeans. At the top, "Aug. 20 Pop-Up" is underlined in black marker. I give the list a quick once-over.

"So the first round of seating is at 7, second is at 9. Simple enough," I say.

"Well, it's more than just ushering people to their chairs." He tenses back up. "After everyone's seated, I'll need you to run food and bus tables if we get in the weeds."

"Weeds?"

"Busy as shit."

"Ah. Okay."

"And water. Constantly. You should be carrying the pitcher and filling any glass that's lower than two-thirds."

"Got it."

"Pay attention to what people are saying. Any issues, come find me immediately."

"Obviously."

"And as we're wrapping, make sure you call a cab for anyone who's too drunk to drive. The last thing I need is bad press about a deadly DUI from someone I fed." "Anything else, your highness?" I jest to lighten the mood. I get that he's on edge, and rightfully so. So am I, to be frank. This mini-romper won't be forgiving in the derriere area should anyone drop a fork while I'm rehydrating them. I also barely know the difference between kale and spinach, and am about to play hostess to a room full of people who are jone-sing to fire off a photo or two of this year's culinary Kimye to their judgmental social sphere. It's a lot.

"Very funny. And yes, there is one more thing. Mark and Rita just texted me. They can't make it tonight. Couldn't find a sitter for Maverick or something."

While it would be great to finally meet Benji's sponsor, Mark — and his wife Rita — I'm okay with the last-minute cancelation. Two less comp seats means more profit and less work for Benji. It also means two less people who I need to impress on the spot. Especially people whose job it is to spot bullshit. They'll be missed by Benji, I'm sure, since they're basically the parents he never had from what I gather. But hopefully he'll just shake it off.

"I'm sorry, that sucks. It's tough with kids," I say like I know.

"Yeah, it's whatever. I told them we'll see them next weekend. Anyways, can you just promise me something?"

"Of course."

He looks me dead in the eye and says: "Promise that you'll fuck me after this is all done."

I give him a wink and turn toward the dining room. I've got a little time before our first guests are set to arrive and I need to get my game face on. I need to feel less like someone whose super-hot boyfriend wants to ravish her across the very counter the amuse-bouches are being prepped on and more like someone who knows on what side of the plate the fork goes.

Tonight's pop-up is in a small indoor ballroom on the 45th floor of a high-rise luxury apartment building way up on the north side. For a Friday night, it'll be a bit of a clusterfuck for anyone who lives in the heart of Chicago, The Loop, or out in the suburbs like my parents, to get up here, but the views of the boats on Lake Michigan and the sunset reflecting off the buildings in the skyline will be so worth it. This summer evening is the kind of night Instagram is made for.

How Benji secured the venue this time is a doozy. He put an ad on Craigslist: "Party Room Needed." Said he couldn't pay money for the space, but would leave all his leftovers behind and the secret to "a roasted chicken guaranteed to get you laid." Thirty minutes later, some teenager whose parents live in the building dropped off the keys to the penthouse floor. It never ceases to amaze me the things people will do just to feel like they have a personal connection to the Steven Tyler of the food world. Alas, here we are.

I push on the balcony door handles fully expecting they'd be locked. But they pop down with ease and the warm summer wind hits me in the face. I grab the railing, close my eyes, and suck in that city air.

I don't breathe enough. Not like this, deep and alone. I have to admit that being Benji's girlfriend sometimes feels like sitting in the passenger seat as he drives 110 miles per hour on the freeway in a jalopy with no seatbelts. It's easy to get overwhelmed, but I remind myself that Benji came into my life for a reason. Every low-life, going-nowhere guy I dated before him was worth it because they led me to him: a beautiful genius who knows exactly who he is and what he wants. A guy with talent, charisma, and nothing but pure adoration for me. So what if he had a flawed start? All that matters is that I stopped the top from spinning out of control and now we're good. We're really fucking good.

Just then my phone, which I have stashed in my bra (hey, no pockets, okay?), buzzes with a text. I dig around in my cleavage and read the message from Benji.

"2-top off elevator. It's time, babe."

My feet are aching and I'm sweating, but as far as everyone can tell by the smile on my face, I'm having a grand old time filling water glasses. By now, we're more than halfway through the service and so far, Benji's only used the bottle of bourbon in the back for a caramely glaze on the dessert course, not to ease the kitchen chaos. In fact, in the ten or so times I've popped my head in to check on him, he appeared to be keeping his cool entirely.

"And how are you two enjoying your evening?" I say, hovering over a couple at a round top table I haven't checked on yet.

"There she is." My dad wipes his mouth as he stands up to give me a hug. My god, he's wearing a wool suit and a silk tie. Overdress much?

"What do you think of the food?" I ask.

"It's outstanding, Allie. Say, can we get another one of those Siracha Jell-o cubes?"

"Goodness Bill, don't embarrass me like that. Just ignore him, Allie. Although, yes, the Siracha cube was ..." My mom closes her eyes, puckers her lips, and explodes an air kiss off the tips of her fingers. I think that's mom-code for amaze-balls.

"I'm really glad you guys could make it," I say. And I mean that. It's not easy to accept the fact that your daughter is dating the most talked-about, tattooed chef in the Midwest, let alone show your support by attending a BYOB makeshift dinner party on the far north side.

"Wouldn't miss it for the world. And hey, I couldn't figure out how to get the flash on this dang iPhone to work, but I took a bunch of pictures," my dad says. "You'll have to explain later how I'm supposed to send them to you."

"Sweet, Dad. Thanks for doing that." I'm positive they will all be blurry but it's the thought that counts.

"Is Benji going to come out?" my mom asks, playing with the pearls on her necklace. Her question captures the attention of strangers sitting across the table and now everyone's eyes are on me.

"We'll see," I say, knowing that answer isn't good enough. Not for anyone in the room who paid to be here. "You'll have to excuse me. I've got to keep checking on other tables. Love you guys."

As I make my rounds, everyone seems to be gushing over the fifth and final course of the night: grilled fig panna cotta with a bourbon, honeycomb drizzle over vanilla bean gelato. I hear one person whisper it was better than Alinea's dessert. Another says she just had a foodgasm. At that, I set down the water pitcher and offer to clear a few dirty plates back to the kitchen. When no one is looking, I dip my pinky into some melted gelato and run it through a glob of the bourbon honey before quickly licking it off my manicured finger.

Heaven. Pure heaven.

Even though there's no negative feedback to report to the kitchen and everyone is stuffed, I can tell people are saving room for one more culinary delight.

(Continues…)



Excerpted from "Hot Mess"
by .
Copyright © 2018 Emily Belden.
Excerpted by permission of Harlequin Enterprises Limited.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

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Hot Mess 3.2 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 5 reviews.
Rustic_Book_Reviews More than 1 year ago
Thank you to #Negalley and the publisher. I received this for free in exchange for a honest review. We are introduced to Allie that has always been proud of having a good head on her shoulders. She has made very wise choices in her life for the last 25 years. But her luck changes when she meets Benji. He finds him self making an investment with a company. The thing is, he doesn't have the money. Allie gives him the money have he goes to her but now he has disappeared and now where to be found and she is left trying to clean up bad choice by trying now to make the right choice.
pennyNJ More than 1 year ago
The Mess was Too Hot (Disclaimer: I was provided a copy of the book, decided to read it and provide my honest review.) Hot Mess by Emily Belden was disappointing. The author did a passible attempt at world building leaving the reader to fill in a lot of the medium or fulfillment details and small or refinement details. Character building by the author was flawed. As a reader, I felt there wasn’t enough of a character to be poked and prodded. I was constantly looking for the depth, growth, change as the story changed and I just didn’t let alone experience any of it I didn’t see it. Reading Hot Mess was just that reading it versus experiencing the story. NO RECOMMENDATION.
bookchickdi More than 1 year ago
As someone who ran two fast food restaurants with my husband, I could not resist the opportunity to be on the TLC Book Tour for Emily Belden's debut novel Hot Mess. Allie Simon loves her job as a social media manager for a cotton company. After hours she works at pop-up dinner events with her boyfriend Benji Zane, the bad boy hotshot chef of Chicago. Benji is three months sober after a serious drug problem and has moved into Allie's apartment. He is a rock star as a chef, but other than creating the occasional pop-up dinners, he hangs out on Allie's couch watching the expensive cable channel package and playing around on the internet. But he does make Allie amazing lunches to take to work everyday. Allie is charge of the money (which doesn't go much farther than barely covering their bills) and doles it out to Benji $20 at a time; that is all he can handle. The sex is hot and if Allie is honest with herself, she likes the attention she gets as the girlfriend of a guy everybody wants to know. When Benji is approached by Angela, a woman who was at his last pop-up dinner, with a proposal to open his own restaurant on the hottest culinary avenue in Chicago, he is all-in. While a hedge fund manager is fronting most of the money for the restaurant, he requires that Benji come up with $30,000 of his own cash to invest and guess where Benji goes to for that. Allie reluctantly cashes out her life savings to invest in Benji's restaurant, Here, and then finds out that Benji has relapsed. They have a terrible fight and he disappears six weeks before Here is to open. Unable to get her investment money back, Allie and Angela team up, find a new chef in Tabitha, and work their butts off to make Here a success. My favorite part of Hot Mess was watching Allie, Angela and Tabitha work together to open Here. I found the details of construction, hiring the staff, and placing the food orders fascinating. As they readied for opening night, I got jitters just as they did, hoping that all went well, and holding my breath as the first customers came in to dine. I also felt heartache for Allie as she discovers that Benji is the not the guy she thought he was. Addicts are cunning and manipulative, and Benji personifies that perfectly. I did find the idea that Allie was a media sensation by virtue of the fact that she is dating a culinary rock star a little hard to fathom, but I guess in this age of Kardashian, where people are famous for being famous or dating someone famous (like on the Bachelor, Allie and her girlfriends' favorite show) it is plausible. I am older than the demographic that Hot Mess is aimed at, but I really enjoyed it. There are a lot of food references in here that will make you drool, and I liked that the women in this story became their own heroes through their strong work ethic. I highly recommend Hot Mess for anyone who likes Jennifer Weiner's novels and foodie fiction.
ReadingLover25 More than 1 year ago
**Received this ARC from Harlequin and opinions are all my own** When I first started reading this book I thought wow it has two things I love: Food and Hospitality. But this book was so much more than the food industry by describing love and addiction. Allie Simon's boyfriend Benji Zane is a handsome talented chef that seems great on the outside, but has another side to him. Not only does this book describe food, love, hospitality and addiction but it shows life with co-dependency with an addict. The first half of the book I was going crazy with the things Allie was accepting, but it was an honest look at life with addiction. Then the other half of the book was totally different and light hearted and enjoyable so the book definitely shifted in a positive way.
KsmithKS More than 1 year ago
First time novelist Emily Belden did a great job with this book! It's chick lit for Millennials. I realize, now that I'm getting older, that there are different types of chick lit that cater to different aged women. While this book may have been written for a younger set than me, I still enjoyed it. It had the classic chick lit elements - woman gets burned, woman gets empowered, woman finds new romance - but it was still fresh and edgy. The main character, Allie, falls for recovering drug-addict Benji, and also falls for his plan to get her to invest her life savings into a restaurant for him. Benji is a nationally-renowned chef, and this new restaurant means a new start for him, and is his last chance to prove that he has his act together. I won't give anything away, but I will recommend that you read this book on a full stomach. It will make you huuungry! The food descriptions in this book sound delicious, and made me [almost] want to attempt cooking. Sink your teeth into this book!