How Can I Possibly Forgive?: Rescuing Your Heart from Resentment and Regret

How Can I Possibly Forgive?: Rescuing Your Heart from Resentment and Regret

by Sara Horn


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How Can I Possibly Forgive?: Rescuing Your Heart from Resentment and Regret by Sara Horn

Sometimes it’s a struggle to forgive a friend, a family member, a coworker, or a neighbor. This book helps you to look at the meaning of forgiveness and the impact that choosing to forgive—or refusing to forgive—has on your life. It will help you identify the battles worth fighting and the ones that aren’t and how to tell the difference.

As she did in her popular one-year experiment with submission, Sara Horn reveals through personal experiences and stories what she’s learned about forgiving with God’s help and healing. In the process, she explores the steps toward forgiveness, including how to

  • take care of the little problems we allow to become big issues
  • move on from painful slights and deep wounds
  • be real with ourselves and God first and then be real with others
  • find closure when disappointment in others doesn’t resolve itself
  • let go of regret, anger, and bitterness that keep us from living in the freedom God intends

Life isn’t about holding on to destructive and painful experiences. It’s about letting go. And it’s about letting God work in our trying situations so we can see Him more clearly on the other side.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780736960991
Publisher: Harvest House Publishers
Publication date: 10/01/2014
Pages: 208
Sales rank: 638,278
Product dimensions: 5.40(w) x 8.40(h) x 0.50(d)

About the Author

Sara Horn is a wife and mom and the founder of Wives of Faith, a ministry for military wives. She’s written numerous articles and books, including My So-Called Life as a Proverbs 31 Wife and My So-Called Life as a Submissive Wife. She’s devoted to her husband, who serves in the US Navy Reserves, crazy about her son, and passionate about her ministry to women.

Table of Contents

1 Listening Through the Noise 11

2 Letting Go of the Hurt 31

3 In Seasons of Rumble 55

4 The Thing About Scars 71

5 When You're the One Who's Wrong 85

6 Holding On to Hurts 105

7 "Getting Over It" and Other Myths 121

8 Forgiving Yourself 141

9 When You're Mad at God 155

10 Where Love Finds You 177

Discussion Questions for Journaling or Small Groups 193

Notes 195

About the Author 197

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How Can I Possibly Forgive?: Rescuing Your Heart from Resentment and Regret 4.8 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 12 reviews.
TRW0224 More than 1 year ago
I recently read this book and let me just tell you, it was life-changing for me! It's so easy to hold onto to hurts, bitterness and anger towards someone who has wronged you in some way and even your own self. But, forgiveness is not impossible. It is possible! There are so many different steps you can take to let go of things and the most important thing is make sure you are including God in every circumstance and situation. The two chapters that really resonated with me were chapter 2, in which Sara talks about "Letting Go of the Hurt". It's so easy to hold on to the things from the past that have damaged you in some way. It's so easy to define yourself and those individuals by things that have been said or done. But in Chapter 2, Sara helps you to see yourself in a different light by explaining 7 habits of highly resentful people and 7 habits of highly forgiving people. I loved it, because it helped to see myself as what type of category I feel into more. And the other chapter that really spoke to me was Chapter 6 "Holding On to Hurts". In this chapter, Sara talks about how when someone has hurt you, it's so easy to hold onto what they said and did and let it effect both you and the relationship at hand. She talks about how we traps ourselves with the hurts, instead of letting them go and giving them to God. And she gives you steps on what to do to stop holding on. I definitely recommend this book to anyone who struggles with forgiveness in any way. All the chapters in the book really reach out to anyone in each circumstance!
JLoveWilkisnon12 More than 1 year ago
What a delightful read on a very serious topic! My word this year is perspective and this book did just that for me. It gave me perspective. I think we all deal with the issue of forgiveness, big or small. It's not easy to deal with, however, Sara Horn gives great insight into how we can tackle forgiveness in healthy ways with the help of God and his word! A great chapter for me was chapter 6, Holding on to Hurts. Sara writes, "Stop holding things that aren't yours to hold on to. Realize that whatever those people in your life are doing, however they're behaving, doesn't have anything to do with you. There's something in their hearts, their lives that they're not dealing with." Wow, now that can change your perspective! I definitely recommend this book, you won't regret picking it up, and it will have a positive influence on your heart!
SHigginbotham More than 1 year ago
You won't go wrong with this book by Sara Horn. This is the third book of hers I've read, and her honesty shines through once again. I appreciate her sharing her stories as it made me reflect on what it really means to forgive others and myself. I also was forced to revisit hurts in my past, and see how unhealthy it is for me to hang on to them. It hit home as I read what she wrote about how being unforgiving and hanging on to hurts and such can cause me to miss out on opportunities and blessings from God. She also mentions on more than one occasion that we shouldn't take everything so personally. There is so much truth to that. I think this book is applicable to anyone today that lives and breathes as we have all faced hurts in one way or another and could use some reflection on how to forgive and the reasons for doing so.
pattierwr More than 1 year ago
How Can I Possibly Forgive? How can we forgive others? Ourselves? How can we heal from resentment, and how can we fight against letting that bitter root grow in our hearts? This book answers all of these questions and more. Unlike Sara’s previous one-year experiment “My So-Called Life” books, this book is more of a Bible study of forgiveness. Sara uses examples from the Bible and her own life experience–both good and bad–to show how God worked through her life to forgive and to write a book about forgiving others and forgiving ourselves. Each of the ten chapters in the book deals with a different aspect of forgiveness: letting go of hurt, scars, when you’re the one who is wrong, holding on to hurts, forgiving yourself, and several others. With her typical honesty and conversational tone, she shares both Biblical truths and personal examples for each of the topics in the book. I related to so much of this book, I had over 120 notes and bookmarks in the Netgalley on my Kindle! Here are just a couple of quotations that spoke to me and that I am still thinking about. “When we care more about our hard feelings than what God might want for us in a specific relationship, we do poison ourselves.” Another one is: “When we refuse to let hurts go, we miss out on opportunities to serve God, to let him work through us and to see him work in us. We can miss blessings and overlook his gifts.” This book has really resonated in my heart, showing me how far I’ve come in my journey of forgiveness for some deep hurts, as well as showing me how to move forward in more recent heart-bruising instances.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Forgiveness has been something that I've struggled with in the past. So I was excited to read How Can I Possibly Forgive? A new book by Sara Horn. She starts out with a story about how she had been avoiding having a conversation with someone who she was having a strained relationship with and there seemed to be issues, but when she finally talked with her, the other person said, nope nothing's wrong, yet everything had been telling Sara there was. How many times had that be me? Avoiding answering a call or going some where because I didn't want to deal with emotions/situations. The chapter that really hit me is Chapter 3 "In Seasons of Rumble". On Page 59, Sara writes, "Bitterness does that to you. When life happens and circumstances feel unfair, when you sense yourself in the crosshairs of an undeserved target, or maybe just as an innocent bystander not looking for trouble or for problems, you can quickly move from sadness to resentment, from denial to anger. You might get mad at other people, putting blame squarely on their shoulders, or you might even get mad at God. The thing about bitterness, though, is it's not easy to hide. Eventually, you expose yourself. Your sour feelings come out." How many of us can relate to that? I know that I've been feeling that way dealing with the stress of this separation and everything that seems going wrong in my life. But if we can learn to deal with what is going on, it will make it somewhat easier to get through the "Big Hurts" as Sara calls them. Sara writes on Page 60, "How easily we can be changed by our circumstances and challenges, by the Big Hurts we come up against." But if we can learn to let go of the bitterness, or whatever it is, we can hopefully get to a place of forgiveness. God wants us to have that. At the end of each of the 10 chapters in the book, there are five ways/reasons/truths to go along with the topic of each chapter, which range from ideas such as: "Getting Over It" and Other Myths; Forgiving Yourself; When You're Mad at God; and Listening Through the Noise. Sara puts a lot of heart into her writing and use such real experiences from her own life to help readers deal with the hurts, the scars, the noise and anything else that cause us pain so that we can learn to forgive others and most importantly ourselves.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
This is an incredible book for teaching how to forgive others and yourself.  This occurs through the authors solid  biblical teachings,as well as, the her very own experiences, situations, pains, hurts, and struggles.  These examples allows the reader to relate on many different levels.  In addition, she  provides us with steps after each   chapter that can keeps one moving forward and aids us in our own journeys of forgiveness.  Again, Sarah Horn, has knocked it out of the park with this book!  Shirley
TX_Amber More than 1 year ago
As I sit drinking my sweet tea under the South Texas afternoon sun, I'm reading Sara Horn's newest book, "How Can I Possibly Forgive?".  From the moment I heard Sara was releasing a new book, I was ecstatic!!  I love her other books I've read and I knew this one would be no different.  From the beginning of the book, I could relate to so many experiences she wrote about from the phone call she contemplated on avoiding to learning how to forgive yourself.  I love how she provides lists at the end of every chapter to help you learn to forgive.  At the end of the book, she even provides discussion questions for journaling or small groups.  As I learn to choose forgiveness, I'm beginning to feel the relief of letting it all go and I am a much happier person.  I’m also learning to let go of anger and in doing so, it has caused me to be more joyful in life and has made me see that life is about love, being happy, and forgiving others, along with yourself.  This is a book I recommend for everyone.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
TimsArmyWifey More than 1 year ago
Sara has once again taken a subject that can be very hard/touchy for people to discuss and made it clear and down to earth. I was privileged to be part of the launch team for this book and am so glad I was! Forgiveness can be something easily said but so hard to actually do - in the same winsome style as her previous books, Sara helps readers to get to the nuts and bolts of the matter all while expressing understanding, empathy and grace. Chapter's 8 & 9 (Forgiving yourself and When you're Mad at God) particularly spoke to me about some issues I've dealt with - very encouraging! I only wish the last chapter had been a little longer and meatier. Definitely a must read!
CoachPam More than 1 year ago
I was blessed to be allowed to pre-read Sara’s book, How Can I Possibly Forgive?: Rescuing Your Heart from Resentment and Regret. While forgiveness is something I learned many years ago, I saw a lot of people I know in the pages of this book. I especially appreciated the practical life application tips at the end of each chapter. One comment that really hit home was… “When you want to look backward, stop and make a list of everything you have to look forward to - and don't limit God!” If you are harboring bitterness and anger towards someone, or a situation, it is time to let it go. This book will help you discover ways to not only forgive others, but also forgive yourself. Sarah writes from experience and from her heart. I highly recommend this book!
Kris_D More than 1 year ago
Sara's down to earth style and realness are just what I needed.  When reading this book many chapters seemed to be written just for me.  For example...chapter 3 is titled "In Seasons of Rumble."  Sara talks about her parents divorcing after 29 years of marriage.  She understands what it's like to have parents divorce when she was an adult.  She states "I'm not sure if it's any better being an adult child of divorce than it is when you're younger."  She talks about how she felt and how their divorce affected her and her family.  My parents were one month short of their 39th wedding anniversary when they divorced and it was such a comfort knowing that I wasn't the only one that had a difficult time dealing with divorce as an adult child.  I love Sara's honesty and willingness to share from her heart!
csc504 More than 1 year ago
Forgiving others is a struggle and yet is something we all must learn to do if we desire to live in peace. Sara explains the beauty of forgiveness through her own stories. She also shows the reader that forgiving is not a new phenomena, but takes examples from the pages of Scripture of those who struggled and learned the same lessons of forgiving. Each chapter is written as though Sara is seated next to you as a dear friend talking you through the steps of forgiving that lead to freedom. Her writing is genuine with heartfelt honesty and yet accompanied by practical tips to aid the reader down the path and journey to living a life of freedom. As with each book I have read of Sara’s, I am a fan and recommend it highly.