How Have You Loved?

How Have You Loved?

by Karen T. Hluchan


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Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781452587158
Publisher: Author Solutions
Publication date: 02/14/2014
Pages: 260
Product dimensions: 6.00(w) x 9.10(h) x 1.00(d)

About the Author

Karen T. Hluchan is a spirit medium, Reiki master, motivational speaker, and author who resides in Horsham, Pennsylvania. Through her mediumship practice, Healing Spirit with Love, she devotes her time to the healing of spirit on earth through her connection with heaven. Her passion for her calling is shared through the spirit readings, demonstrations, and workshops she provides, as well as through her writing and Reiki. All of her work is inspired by the light of God’s love. She has a great love of nature, people, and the planet, and she enjoys her connection with all of spirit, both here and in heaven.

Read an Excerpt

How Have You Loved?

By Karen T. Hluchan

Balboa Press

Copyright © 2013 Karen T. Hluchan
All rights reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4525-8714-1


Thoughts Are Powerful Energy

* * *

Our Thoughts Determine Our Destinies

The thoughts that swirl in our minds are extremely powerful. They set the stage for our outlooks, how we react to the situations we encounter, what we dream of and hope for, and—most importantly—they determine our destinies. It is important to know that thoughts are a form of powerful energy that defines what we attract to ourselves and guides the paths our lives take. Our thoughts truly do determine our destinies and by knowing this, you can learn how to best utilize them, as well as control the negative thoughts that attempt to derail you from your life purpose.

It may seem as though we have no control over the thoughts that pop into our heads, but we do. We can train our brains to shut out the negative thought patterns and bring forth the positive, enriching thoughts that help guide us to opportunities for growth and the manifestation of our dreams.

The Purpose of the Ego and Negative Thoughts

Negative thoughts that enter our minds are challenges to the positive experiences of life that we truly deserve. They are the thoughts that say we could not possibly succeed or we are unattractive or failures. This is the voice of the ego. The negative thoughts that come from the ego can intrude and create a mind-set that is counterproductive to our personal happiness. When we are in heaven, these thoughts do not permeate our spirits; however, here on earth, where we are on the fast track to learning life lessons for the purpose of evolving our souls, negative situations and thoughts are obstacles that we are meant to overcome. They can help us to be the best we can be. It all depends upon the actions we do or do not take to surmount their presence, persistence, and effects.

Welcoming Positive Thinking

Have you ever heard about the power that comes from positive thinking? Have you ever truly tried to live it? As you begin your journey of incorporating more positive thinking into your outlook, start by becoming more aware of the negative thoughts that enter your mind. Dismiss them as soon as you recognize their presence, and counter them with positive thoughts. If the negative thoughts persist, stop what you are doing. Look around and find something you are grateful for in that exact moment. For instance, you could be appreciative of the way the sun is filtering through the trees, the relationship you have with your best friend, or even the clothes on your back. It can be anything that makes you happy. The point of this exercise is to replace the negative thoughts with positive ones. Once you have identified something you are grateful for, take the exercise one step further by performing an activity that makes you happy, such as reading a book, taking a walk, or working on a hobby. This positive distraction will move your mind away from the negative soundtrack that was taking over your thoughts. Keep in mind that it takes practice to reprogram your mind. It is the same as breaking yourself of a bad habit. The more you work at it, the easier it becomes and the quicker you will recognize when pessimism is attempting to encroach upon your life.

Manifesting Dreams with Positive Thinking

There are some wonderful dreams I would like to see manifested in my life. Likewise, I am sure there are dreams you would like to see manifested in your life. To begin my journey, I make a conscious decision to actively send out positive thoughts toward my true heart's desires. Then, I ask God and the angels to help me to achieve them. I let go of trying to make these dreams manifest on my own because I know my vision here on earth is limited. I also know that trying to force a situation to come to fruition can actually prevent it from happening. God and the angels see more than we do and can help guide us on the right path. I know I must open myself up to the guidance they give me and strive to keep my thoughts about my dreams positive. I do this by visualizing a bright light around my dreams and imagining my desired outcomes as already realized. In my heart, I rest easy knowing that God and the angels have received and acknowledged my visions, and are actively in the process of manifesting my true goals and desires.

For your dreams, open your mind and imagination. Visualize your deepest desires and dreams coming true. See yourself basking in the happiness that is truly yours to live. Your dreams are meant to come true, regardless of the circumstances that surround you. If we can dream it, we can live it. All we have to do is truly believe with all of our hearts that we not only deserve this happiness, but also can experience the actualization of our dreams in our lifetimes here on earth, not just in heaven.

Stay the Course

Keep in mind that the way in which our dreams manifest may involve circumstances that appear negative on the surface. Let go of the momentary disappointment caused by the twists and turns our lives take, as these seemingly negative circumstances or events may be necessary in order to clear out obstacles that were impeding our progress. Be open to change, take it all in stride, and take time each day to acknowledge with gratitude the positive events and circumstances in your life. Keep visualizing your actualized dream. The angels, who assist God with the manifestation of your happiness, will help you. All you have to do is ask them for their help, give them permission to intervene on your behalf, and truly believe that they are assisting you.

Heavenly Help

As we grow from infants to adults, various circumstances and people influence and shape the way we perceive the world. It is during this time that we learn about happiness, sadness, confidence, fear, assurance, worry, contentedness, and regret. The negativity we are exposed to can become a way of life, or we can choose to disregard the negative and hurtful programming by following our own hearts and paths toward happiness. It takes a strong belief in yourself and strength of will in order to shift negative thought patterns into positive, life-affirming ways of thinking. The good news is that we do not have to make this journey alone. We have each other, as well as our heavenly support teams of God, the angels, spirit guides, past spiritual masters, and deceased loved ones, to assist us.

Dream your dreams and diligently work on keeping your thoughts positive. I know it can be challenging at times, because I face the same obstacles as you. When I encounter challenges, I call upon my heavenly support team to help me elevate my thoughts, and I express my gratitude to them for lending me their loving strength. Your heavenly support team is there to assist you, too, with your dreams, your thoughts, and your love. Ask your team for guidance and support, release your worries, and trust that they are working diligently on your behalf. Maintain an open mind about the way in which your requests will be answered. Keep in mind that patience is needed, as it takes time and resources to orchestrate the intricate pathways to your desired outcomes.

* * *

Reacting Positively to Negative Circumstances

We are all here on this earth at this particular time to assist one another as we work toward the evolvement of our souls. Unfortunately, not everyone understands this concept. Negative events and painful circumstances, as well as familial and cultural influences, could be the reason why some people resort to behaviors that are hurtful toward others, including selfishness. This does not mean that all hope is lost for them; it may mean that they have not yet been exposed to information or experiences that could help them to understand the benefits of working together. You can attempt to help this person to see how his or her behavior is harmful; however, it is not necessary to expend energy on someone who refuses to listen or learn. Share and help where you can, but know that it is ultimately up to each individual to make the choices that are most appropriate for his or her own life.

It is important to note that we are all on different levels with our soul evolvement. In light of that, we should do our best not to look down on people who have not yet learned to overcome the fear of getting hurt by others. Often, it is a lack of trust that drives someone to focus only upon themselves. We are all here to learn, and even though someone may appear to be on a different level than you, it does not mean he or she is better or worse off. Instead, it may indicate that the person is concentrating on different lessons or is operating under a soul contract that helps him or her to evolve and learn through the incorporation of negative circumstances. Either way, we all experience major events within our lives that are designed for the growth of our souls and the successful completion of life lessons. By supporting one another, we are contributing positive energy in the form of loving kindness to each other, as well as to the world.

Conscious Choices and Honest Assessments

Throughout our lives, we will encounter many situations that test our abilities to maintain a positive state of mind. Turmoil erupts when fear is the primary emotion motivating someone's actions. This is because it drives people to take action based on negative emotions, such as jealousy, anger, greed, or selfishness.

When you are caught up in a scenario in which someone is causing you pain through his or her actions, it is sometimes difficult to prevent an automatic reaction that mirrors or feeds into another person's detrimental behaviors. It can be very challenging at times to counter negativity with positive actions because our own shock and pain need to be dealt with before we can proceed. Sometimes, our first instincts are to lash out at the person or people who hurt us.

If anger or pain is coloring your thoughts, take a few steps back from the source of the negativity. Look at the situation from all points of view through an honest assessment of the behaviors of everyone involved. Once you have had a chance to calm your thoughts and truthfully evaluate the situation, your mind will be free to come up with ideas or solutions that have the potential to create the most positive outcome for everyone.

You can break the chain of negativity by looking for the underlying reasons behind the person's behavior and counter it with understanding and kindness without undermining your values or self-esteem. For instance, a friend of yours lashes out at you for going out to lunch with another friend. Jealousy and a feeling of inadequacy may be the emotions that are triggering her behavior. Her feelings are her responsibility and not yours, and they may be rooted in past relationships in which she has been betrayed. Calmly let your friend know that while you appreciate her friendship, you do have other people in your life you like to spend time with as well. Let your friend know that you care about her and that your actions were in no way a threat to your relationship with her. If she continues to conduct herself in a manner that is harmful or hurtful to you, you can choose to walk away and not allow the negativity to infiltrate your life. In situations such as this, it is important to listen to your heart. You do not have to stay in a relationship that is not healthy. If you need help in dealing with the issues you face, ask God and the angels for support and guidance regarding the best path for you to take. They will provide answers to you through your intuition, as well as through external signs and messages, which will point you in the direction that is right for you.

Resolving Differences

While attempting to resolve differences, it is imperative to be honest with yourself and others. Do your best to let go of any anger that has built up inside of you, as it is unproductive and blocks open communication. Confronting people while angry almost guarantees that they will not hear you because their defenses will be up. Instead, set up a time to talk about the situation with the person or people involved when you are calm. In this manner, you will have a better chance of resolving the issue in the most positive way for all concerned. Present your ideas, actively listen to the feedback you receive, work through the issue by allowing each person to express his or her thoughts, and do your best to move past the problem. Many times, it is a misunderstanding or communication breakdown that is the cause of the problem. We are all human, and we all make mistakes. In order to move past the errors we make and to repair our relationships, we need to be able to listen, speak, and respond in a manner that shows respect to all, including ourselves. Remember to extend forgiveness and to release the issue. Apologize sincerely if it was your actions that caused the rift or made the situation worse. Wallowing in the past and dredging it up again and again only hurts you in the end, because you are repeatedly impaling yourself with old pain regarding a situation that is beyond altering. Let it go and live in the present.

Healthy Closure

If in your contemplation or discussions you realize that the best solution would be to end the relationship due to irreconcilable differences, bring it to a close with kindness, grace, and honor. Wish the person well, pray for his or her health and happiness, and move on with your life. Often, the ending is a blessing in disguise because it may clear the way for an even better relationship or set of circumstances that could not have happened until you released this particular relationship from your life.

Taking Responsibility for Your Own Actions

When you behave in a manner that causes pain to others, apologize to the person or people you hurt. It does happen. We all have moments when we wish we would have reacted in a different way. No one is perfect. The key is to recognize your mistakes and make amends as soon as you are able. Let the parties involved know you are sorry, and mean it by not repeating the same negative or hurtful behavior. This will go a long way toward mending your relationships. Forgive yourself, too. We all make mistakes; it is a part of life and the experience gives us an opportunity to learn how to be better people. By recognizing and taking responsibility for our actions, we are actively taking part in the evolvement of our own souls while mindfully respecting the spirit of others.

Strive to be the best person you can be despite any turmoil that may be around you. Remember, you are actively in the process of learning, too. We all stumble from time to time, but if we strive to take the high road and choose to counter negative situations with positive reactions, both our lives and the lives of those around us will be happier. We cannot control all of the events that occur in our lives, nor can we control the behaviors of others. We can control our own actions and reactions, though, and decide to look beyond the negative behaviors of others by displaying understanding, kindness, and grace in the face of adversity and turmoil. By doing so, you will be welcoming peace and calm into your own life. At the same time, you will be showing others that fears and chaos are often based on misunderstandings that can be resolved, or even prevented, with compassion and empathy. In this way, we fulfill our soul contracts to help each other as we live our lives on this earth and evolve as souls.

* * *

How Stressful Thoughts and Emotions Can Affect Us Physically

Upsetting situations, as well as negative thoughts and emotions, can physically manifest in a variety of ways, such as panic attacks, tendonitis, headaches, and mysterious aches and pains. My personal experience includes emotional overeating that I felt helpless to stop. Food is necessary for sustenance, and it is one substance we cannot avoid if we are to continue to live. It can be very challenging to overcome problems with the over-consumption or under-consumption of food for that very reason. Moreover, the social aspect of eating meals together and at celebrations can greatly contribute to the anxiety of someone who is having difficulty maintaining a healthy relationship with the food he or she consumes. It is hard, sometimes, for people to recognize the reason for over-eating or under-eating because it requires them to look deep within themselves to see the reasons why they are using food as a substitute for happiness or controlling food intake to the point of malnutrition. Instead of feeling shame when we are experiencing a problem and trying to hide it, we can help ourselves by extending kindness, love, understanding, and forgiveness toward our own soul when a problem exists. The pain behind these issues is real, and the sooner we recognize the actual reasons behind it, the quicker we can begin the healing process.


Excerpted from How Have You Loved? by Karen T. Hluchan. Copyright © 2013 Karen T. Hluchan. Excerpted by permission of Balboa Press.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

Table of Contents


Foreword, xi,
Introduction, xiii,
Thoughts Are Powerful Energy, 1,
Embrace the Love within Your Heart, 37,
The Gifts of Mediumship, 81,
Sharing the Love, 161,
The Wonders of Nature, 187,
We Are One, 219,
Afterword, 225,
Acknowledgments, 227,
Bibliography, 231,
Index, 233,

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