How to Be Miserable in Your Twenties: 40 Strategies to Fail at Adulting

by Randy J. Paterson PhD

Overview

Following in the footsteps of his snarky self-help hit, How to Be Miserable, psychologist Randy J. Paterson uses his trademark wit and irony to help you tackle the most common roadblocks that stand in the way of successful “adulting.”

Are you living in your parent’s basement? Can you measure your life by the hours you spend video streaming or gaming? Do you have absolutely no idea who you really are or what matters to you? Are you emotionally stunted and incapable of mature relationships? Great! Keep it up. If you just can’t get enough of being miserable, you’re on the right path.

In How to Be Miserable in Your Twenties, you won’t find platitudes or promises of love, happiness, and a fabulous life. What you will find are 40 strategies to help you cultivate a life of abject misery. On the other hand, if you want to take control of your destiny, find meaning and a sense of purpose, or just be a damn grownup, feel free to do the opposite of what this book says. You may yet join the ranks of happy people everywhere!

So, keep getting caught in the same self-defeating traps that have led you to an unfulfilling existence—or not! Either way, this book will help you take a good long look at yourself and your life, and come up with a solid action plan for your worst (or best) future.
 

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781684034734
Publisher:	New Harbinger Publications
Publication date:	03/01/2020
Sold by:	Barnes & Noble
Format:	eBook
Pages:	280
File size:	1 MB

About the Author

Randy J. Paterson, PhD, is a psychologist and director of Changeways Clinic—a private psychotherapy service—in Vancouver, BC, Canada. He is author of The Assertiveness Workbook, How to Be Miserable, and Your Depression Map; and coauthor of the free online Antidepressant Skills Workbook. He presents lectures and workshops internationally on topics, including mental health policy, cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), the nature and treatment of depression and anxiety disorders, and the failure-to-launch phenomenon. For more information, visit www.randypaterson.com.
Randy J. Paterson, PhD, is a psychologist, and author of How to Be Miserable and How to Be Miserable in Your Twenties. He is director of Changeways Clinic in Vancouver, BC, Canada; and provides training programs across Canada and internationally on evidence-based mental health practice. Learn more at www.randypaterson.com.

Table of Contents

Introduction: The Great Leap Forward 1

Part 1 Fight the Future-Preventing Childhood's End

Lesson 1 Let Parents Be Parents 34

Lesson 2 Keep Your Parents in the Pantheon 39

Lesson 3 Refuse the Burdens of Adulthood 44

Lesson 4 Be a Rebel and Party On 48

Lesson 5 Stay on the Breast 52

Lesson 6 Wait for Permission 56

Lesson 7 Change Your Family, Not Yourself 61

Lesson 8 Shorten the Decade 66

Lesson 9 Chill 71

Lesson 10 Never Give an Inch 77

Part 2 Santa Wasn't the Only Lie

Lesson 11 You Are Special 86

Lesson 12 You Have a Right to Unconditional Positive Regard 91

Lesson 13 Happiness Is Stupid 95

Lesson 14 Depend on Talent 100

Lesson 15 You Need a Clear Vision 105

Lesson 16 Misery Is Motivating 110

Lesson 17 Self-Confidence Is Crucial 114

Lesson 18 You're Entitled to Your Anger 120

Lesson 19 Follow Your Passion! 125

Lesson 20 You're Doomed No Matter What You Do 130

Part 3 Creating a Self

Lesson 21 Keep Your Tool Kit Empty 140

Lesson 22 Define Thyself 145

Lesson 23 Become Your Diagnosis 150

Lesson 24 Cultivate Your Fragility 155

Lesson 25 Narrow Your Experience 160

Lesson 26 Don't Rehearse 164

Lesson 27 Stay in the Closet 170

Lesson 28 Build Your Brand, Not Your Character 175

Lesson 29 Eat the Marshmallows 180

Lesson 30 Be Cool 185

Part 4 Navigating the Seas of Adulthood

Lesson 31 Go with the Flow 193

Lesson 32 Set Your Heart on the Stars 198

Lesson 33 Keep Your Options Open 203

Lesson 34 Avoid Risk 207

Lesson 35 Ignore Distant Payoffs 212

Lesson 36 Let the Money Worry About Itself 217

Lesson 37 Take Your Body for Granted 222

Lesson 38 Focus on What You Lack 227

Lesson 39 Practice Mindlessness 231

Lesson 40 Do It All Yourself 236

Conclusion: Turnabout 241

Acknowledgments 259

References and Additional Reading 261

Endnotes 265

Interviews

Paterson resides in Vancouver, BC, Canada.

Editorial Reviews

How to Be Miserable in Your Twenties reads with a tender irreverence. Paterson’s voice is heart-catching, imaginative, and wise as he invites emerging adults to abandon many of their self-defeating delusions which they have caught from their culture like a virus. Paterson gifts the reader with fresh agility to better dance with the paradoxical vicissitudes of life. You will find his creative re-rendering of the path to misery accessible, charming, and a helpful tool for reorienting you to a wise life.”
—Scott Spradlin, LPC, LMAC, dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) therapist and trainer in Wichita, KS; and author of Don’t Let Your Emotions Run Your Life

Scott Spradlin

When you find yourself underlining so many passages that the whole book is basically one long underline...it’s time to recommend that book. Highly. And be grateful it exists.”
—Lenore Skenazy, president of Let Grow, and founder of Free-Range Kids

Lenore Skenazy

Pathological social withdrawal (called ‘hikikomori’ in Japan) is now increasingly considered a global mental health and socioeconomic concern. Withdrawal behaviors tend to be regarded as negative and maladaptive. Is this perception always correct? Randy Paterson’s book challenges such preconceptions and prejudices regarding hikikomori-related behaviors while also suggesting multidirectional solutions to this phenomenon.”
—Takahiro A. Kato, MD, PhD, associate professor in the department of neuropsychiatry, and chair of the hikikomori research clinic at Kyushu University Hospital in Fukuoka, Japan

Takahiro A. Kato

Innovative and inspiring.... The provocative mood makes the reading easy; the structure in lessons makes the book an on-demand pool of instructions the reader can refer to whenever needed. Randy Paterson has made great work to collect life situations and convert them into such practical actions.”
—Ivan Ferrero, PsyD, cyberpsychologist, speaker, trainer, educator, edge innovator, and futurologist

Ivan Ferrero

Randy Paterson has done it again! In his latest book, How to Be Miserable in Your Twenties, Paterson provides insight into how young adults can avoid common traps that can contribute to unhappiness. It includes a range of well-tested, commonsense strategies that are especially relevant for those transitioning into adulthood and independence. This engaging and humorous book is a must-read for young adults (even those who are not in their twenties) who want to prevent the thoughts, behaviors, and habits that can lead to feeling overwhelmed, depressed, or anxious. I highly recommend it!”
—Martin M. Antony, PhD, ABPP, professor in the department of psychology at Ryerson University in Toronto, ON, Canada; and coauthor of The Shyness and Social Anxiety Workbook and The Anti-Anxiety Workbook

Martin M. Antony