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How to Cheat Your Friends at Poker: The Wisdom of Dickie Richard
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How to Cheat Your Friends at Poker: The Wisdom of Dickie Richard

by Penn Jillette, Mickey D. Lynn
 

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Poker-mania is sweeping the nation, from the World Championship of Poker to internet poker and power poker. But home poker games shouldn't just be about winning: they're about stripping your opponents bare without their ever suspecting a thing. Teaming up with Mickey Lynn, Penn Jillette gives a home poker player everything he needs to know in one tidy volume.

Overview

Poker-mania is sweeping the nation, from the World Championship of Poker to internet poker and power poker. But home poker games shouldn't just be about winning: they're about stripping your opponents bare without their ever suspecting a thing. Teaming up with Mickey Lynn, Penn Jillette gives a home poker player everything he needs to know in one tidy volume. Lousy with attitude, stylish with swagger, How to Cheat Your Friends at Poker delivers a lifetime's worth of card-shark knowledge, including how to:

—pick your marks

—mark cards

—use "shiners" to keep track of other player's hands

—cut cards

—stash holdouts

This is not a book about how to play poker-the shelves are already full of those-it's about how to cheat, make money, and win big. If you're in the game, you're either a fish or a shark. How to Cheat Your Friends at Poker is the ultimate shark's playbook.

Editorial Reviews

The only honest thing about this book is its title. How to Cheat Your Friends at Poker means just that: This ultimate shark's playbook teaches you how to pick your mark; how to mark cards; how to cut cards and stash holdouts; how to introduce a cold deck; how to deal from the bottom; and how make your game cheat-proof.
Publishers Weekly
Jillette (the Penn of Penn & Teller) and his pseudonymous poker-cheating guru, Dickie, begin by saying that anyone who loves playing poker should "throw this book away." Readers will find no better advice. The dubious premise is that Dickie took Penn under his wing when Penn was 18, and as a favor, he has agreed to publish the card sharp's book. But calling the wit and wisdom of Dickie Richard sophomoric is far too kind. More accurate descriptions would be amoral ("Morality is what you make of it"), scabrous and without redeeming social value. And the book is marred by obscenities, class insults and a machismo that would be comical if it weren't so vulgar ("If you are going to cheat, whip out your prick and cheat like a man"). If this was meant to be a joke, it's not funny. And if it's meant seriously, then the book itself is a cheat: when you're done with it, you still won't really know how to cheat at poker. (Oct. 5) Copyright 2005 Reed Business Information.
Library Journal
Playing poker to win, with tips that best-selling author Jillette picked up from pseudonymous cardsharp Richard. Copyright 2005 Reed Business Information.

Product Details

ISBN-13:
9780312360689
Publisher:
St. Martin's Press
Publication date:
10/03/2006
Pages:
272
Product dimensions:
5.45(w) x 8.28(h) x 0.77(d)

Related Subjects

Read an Excerpt

How to Cheat Your Friends at Poker

The Wisdom of Dickie Richard
By Jillette, Penn

St. Martin's Griffin

Copyright © 2006 Jillette, Penn
All right reserved.

ISBN: 0312360681


Chapter One

You're Not Playing a Game
 
Do you want to cheat because you love playing poker? Throw away this book--you've just been ripped off. You wasted your money. The people who love to play poker are the people who are going to be giving you money. You care about money, not poker. This is not a book on learning to play poker, or about loving to play poker: This is a book about making money. Wasn't the title clear enough for you? You're reading this book to learn how to cheat people out of their money in friendly home games of poker. Get it?
 
To cheat at home poker games, you do need to know how to play poker. Get a couple of books and learn the game. Learn the rules you're going to be breaking, and learn a little of the strategy you're not going to be using. You need to know what your losers will be thinking.
 
Get any one of the little BS books that'll tell you the rules and how to play. Learn all the stupid games. Learn Blind Man's Bluff where you stick cards to your head. Learn Crazy Pineapple with one-eyed jacks and deuces wild. Any book will do. You don't care very much about any of the strategies--your strategy will be cheating. If you're happy with the amount of money you can win playing honestly, this book isn't for you. Throw the book away.
 
No Limit Texas Hold 'Em isthe big game these days. It's what they play on TV, and every jerk off who watches the World Series of Poker wants to play Hold 'Em. They want to play it in the casinos and they want to play it at home. Most of the stories in this book will be about Hold 'Em because most people know that game. Ten years ago, it was seven stud and before that it was five-card draw. Hold 'Em is a fine game, and its popularity will only help you make money. But there are a lot of games out there, and you need to know all of them. The focus here is mostly on No Limit Hold 'Em so you won't get confused. You can (and will) cheat at every game you find.
 
If you're telling yourself that you're just reading this book to learn how not to be cheated by someone else, don't bother. The best way to not be cheated is to not play for money. If you play cards for money, you're going to be cheated, and you deserve to be cheated. People who play fair get money by working. If you're trying to get money without working, you're cheating, and if you're cheating, someone else is going to be better at it. I'm going to be better at it. If you let me, I'll make you better at it.
 
If you follow this book--if you take what I've learned from a life of full-time cheating, and you really learn it and do it just the way I explain--you can make money, and plenty of it, without working. If you're going to take this book seriously, promise yourself right now that you will never work again. Never! You cheat or you work. There is no in-between. Those are the two ways of life. Biff down at my dry cleaning store--he works. He works like a Chinaman. Bill Gates? He doesn't work. I don't work. You don't have to work.
 
You're not going to be playing cards and you're not going to be working at playing cards. You're going to be cheating. I know a thing or two about cheating. You can trust me--I do nothing but cheat. I have large bank accounts in many cities and towns across the country. I own four houses and a mobile home. I have seven cars and two of them are really nice. I have over five grand in my pocket right now as you read this. I would say that I never have to work again . . . except I never worked before. I never have to work, and you don't have to work, either. If you want to cheat, I can show you how.
 
Step one: Learn how to play all of the games and get used to the fact that you're never going to play any of the games again. You'll sit at the table, you'll hold cards, you'll make bets--but you won't be playing. You'll be cheating. You'll be cheating your keister off and no one will know it. And if they do know it, who cares? There will be other towns and other suckers.
 
Copyright 2005 by 10 in 1, Inc. All rights reserved.

Continues...

Excerpted from How to Cheat Your Friends at Poker by Jillette, Penn Copyright © 2006 by Jillette, Penn. Excerpted by permission.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

Meet the Author

Penn Jillette has been the larger, louder half of the performing team Penn & Teller since 1975. He is the author of the novel SOCK and, with Teller, the bestselling author of CRUEL TRICKS FOR DEAR FRIENDS and HOW TO PLAY IN TRAFFIC. Mickey D. Lynn is a writer and poker expert. He has written for television, worked in the film industry, and worked with the talent department of Celebrity Poker Showdown, but no cheating happened there. Really. Both authors live in Las Vegas.

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