Chapter One
FIRST THINGS FIRST CURRENT SITUATION
There have been many times in talking with women friends that they ask the same questions: Where can I find a good man? And how can I get a good man? If you are a very attractive, physically gifted woman these questions do not come up, because most of time men are finding ways to introduce themselves to you on a regular basis. However the average woman who is not as blessed does not have those opportunities present themselves as often but would love to be in that situation on a regular basis.
Women often do see men they are attracted to. However, because of shyness, fear, or basically, the way they were raised by their parents, they feel it is not appropriate to just walk up to a man and introduce themselves. Consequently, when women come across a man they are attracted to, through a chance meeting, they admire the man, maybe smile to acknowledge his presence, but do not think of approaching him to introduce themselves because they does not think that is something that a lady would do. So the opportunity to meet this man usually passes without an introduction.
Thus the problem of meeting men is created by a woman's reluctance to introduce herself and her unwillingness to close that distance between herself and the man she likes, to introduce herself. These have been historically the reasons women do not meet men to whom they are attracted.
If you are reading this book, chances are you are a hardworking, beautiful woman with or without children, trying to succeed in life, trying to make it in this world without a man at this time. However, you want and/or need a man in your life to create balance and stability. Hopefully, this information will provide a fun and entertaining way for you to accomplish that goal. Circumstances often create reasons for many situations. However, most of them are caused by poor communication, poor judgment, bad relationships, and a lack of personal relationship goals. The following are different profiles of the types of women looking for Mr. Right:
Single Women: Most young single women are usually open to new relationships and are used to meeting new men in regular social situations.
Single Women With Children: Single women with children have different concerns than single women without children. They must always consider their child first in their decisions in regarding new men. For example: when and how should they introduce a new man to their children?
Divorced Without Children: Usually women who have several areas that they are dealing with from their last unsuccessful relationship, such as emotional scars, economics, fear, distrust, pain, failure.
Divorced With Children: Women who have all of the areas stated in the divorced without children and the additional burden of providing a secure and stable environment for their children. In addition, they also must find the proper way of introducing a new man they are interested in to their children.
MR. PERFECT
Every woman has her vision of Mr. Perfect. He is usually tall, in the 6'0 to 6'3 range, and handsome like Rick Fox, Brad Pitt or Tom Cruise. He is a professional man, like a doctor, lawyer, engineer or athlete. Mr. Perfect has the most romantic bedroom eyes. He is financially secure with a minimum six-figure salary, has his own company, or is just flat-out rich from a family business. Mr. Perfect can be a famous personality, or at least a very recognizable person to the public. He is a traveling man who is going to take you on trips around the world.
Mr. Perfect is educated, he has a degree or degrees from any of the most prestigious universities in the country. Mr. Perfect is a well-conditioned, well-built, physically fit man who is very easy to look at. Mr. Perfect is a well-dressed man who wears nothing but the best designer labels. Mr. Perfect has style and class. Mr. Perfect has a wonderful personality. Mr. Perfect could have a beautiful head of hair or he could have a sexy bald head. Mr. Perfect has a beautiful set of straight white teeth and a wonderful smile.
Mr. Perfect has a very large home that sits on the cliffs, overlooking the ocean. Mr. Perfect drives the most expensive imported cars and eats at only the most expensive and famous restaurants. Finally, Mr. Perfect loves to give his woman the most extravagant and expensive gifts.
MR. RIGHT
Most woman dream of Mr. Perfect, when what they need is Mr. Right. Mr. Right is in actuality Mr. Perfect. Mr. Right is the man who is right and perfect for you and possesses all of the right qualities to satisfy all of your needs. He is the one who is most beneficial for you to be well-rounded as a person, friend and lover. Mr. Right is the man who is very kind to you. Mr. Right is the man who cares about your emotional needs. Mr. Right is a very generous person. Mr. Right is a man who will support you in all of your personal or professional ventures. Mr. Right is the type of man who possess the morals, character, style, and class that you require of your man.
Mr. Right is the man who wants to make sure that everything is right emotionally in your life on a daily basis. Mr. Right is the man who can make everything right, regardless of the problem or obstacle. Mr. Right is the man who can take care of all of your physical needs and wants. Mr. Right is the man who can share and care spiritually with you. Mr. Right is the man who is devoted to making everything right in your life. Mr. Right is financially secure and is committed to seeing that you are financially stable and comfortable. Mr. Right is the man who will plan a long-term relationship with you. Mr. Right is the man who can live the rest of his life with you.
WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO OFFER?
Who knows you better than you do? You should perform a self-evaluation of your strengths, assets and benefits. I suggest that you stand in front of the mirror nude and evaluate yourself. Evaluate yourself from the top of your head to the bottom of your feet. The first rule is to be very honest with yourself. If you can't be honest with yourself, who can? I want you to rate yourself from 1-10 in each area that you evaluate, 10 being the highest score you can give yourself. First score yourself on how intelligent you are.
There is formal education, trained knowledge, and common sense.
Score yourself in all three of these areas from 1-10. Then evaluate yourself on your general health, from 1-10. Are you generally in good health, means do you see a doctor on a regular basis, and have regular checkups, and you feel good most of the time, and you don't take any type of medication on a regular basis. And you are on top of your health issues. You are in decent health based on doctor visits and annual check-ups. Or you are poor health based on lack of doctor visits, and the amount of medication you take on a daily basis.
Are you a fitness person? Evaluate yourself from 1-10, based on your level of exercise. Do you go to the gym on a regular basis? Or do you exercise at home? Exercise can be evaluated as any exercise, from walking around your neighborhood to going to the gym 4-5 days a week. Exercise is subjective regarding what you do for exercise, and whether you exercise on a regular basis. Are you a regular, occasional or not at all exercise person?
SELF EVALUATION FORM (Remember to be honest with yourself)
GENERAL CONDITION
Intelligence
Formal Education 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Trained Knowledge 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Common Sense 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Health
Age: ________________
Annual Check Ups 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
General Health 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Medication 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Exercise
Serious 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Regular 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Occasional 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Not at all 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Let's look at the status of your exterior beauty. First on the agenda is hair. Not the length, color or style, but the general condition and health of your hair. Is it healthy? "Yes" or "No"-grade your hair from 1-10. If the answer is "No" perhaps it is an indication to start looking into your general health, eating habits or diet. Maybe you should look into what vitamins you need to improve your overall health. Or maybe it's just the number of times you might see your hairdresser. Remember to evaluate your hair condition from 1-10.
Next, evaluate your skin condition. Take a good look at your skin: is it dry, oily, or somewhere in between? Is your skin spotty or discolored? How would you score your skin? Is it in excellent, good, fair or poor condition? Again, re-evaluate what you eat, your eating habits, diet or exercise. Consider vitamins or skin treatment products that will assist you in correcting your skin condition.
What do you honestly think of yourself? This is the most important area of your self evaluation. Score yourself from 1-10 on self-esteem, self-pride, self-confidence, self-image, and self-worth. Remember to be honest. When you take an honest look at yourself, you must acknowledge your flaws. Remember, we all have flaws and nobody is perfect; there are no tens. Your flaws are yours, and that is what makes you who you are. When you acknowledge your flaws, develop a plan of action to correct them. You have taken your first step in the Mr. Right direction.
SELF EVALUATION FORM
(Remember to be honest with yourself)
PERSONAL
Hair Condition
General Condition 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Hairdresser 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Eating Habits
Healthy 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Diet
Regular 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Vitamins
Vitamin Use 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Skin Condition
Dry 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Oily 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Spotty 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Soft 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
SELF EVALUATION FORM
(Remember to be honest with yourself)
SELF-IMAGE
Self-Esteem 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Self-Pride 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Self-Confidence 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Self-Image 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Self-Worth 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Total your scores for all of your categories. You should have high scores, medium scores and some low scores. There is no right score or wrong score; it is your score, if you made a truly honest evaluation of yourself. It is the best place for you to start on your road to find Mr. Right. Your score should indicate that you are a normal woman with strengths and weaknesses. We want to capitalize on your strengths and de-emphasize your weaknesses. Develop a plan of action to correct flaws in your personality, character, thinking, appearance, or spirituality.
Those flaws may be the reason that you have not found Mr. Right. Write a list of your weaknesses. Think about them very seriously for a couple of days. Talk to the friends and relatives that you trust. Also consider seeking professional assistance to eliminate your flaws. Start with the easiest areas of improvement first, to build your confidence. Develop a plan. It should include your flaws, a corrective plan of action, and a realistic timetable with dates. Think in terms of short range and long range goal setting. This is an important step.
Review your plan of action daily, to monitor your progress. Do everything in your power to eliminate your weakness, because you never know when one of these weaknesses will keep you from obtaining Mr. Right. Develop your plan of action on your health, appearance, attitude or spirituality. It is designed to eliminate your major flaws. It is extremely important that you address your weaknesses.
SELF EVALUATION FORM
(Remember to be honest with yourself)
Grade
Number of high scores: _______________
Number of medium scores: _______________
Number of low scores: _______________
SELF EVALUATION FORM
(Remember to be honest with yourself)
List Your Weaknesses:
1. _________________________________________________________________
2. _________________________________________________________________
3. _________________________________________________________________
4. _________________________________________________________________
5. _________________________________________________________________
6. _________________________________________________________________
7. _________________________________________________________________
8. _________________________________________________________________
9. _________________________________________________________________
10._________________________________________________________________
ACTION PLAN
Example:
Area that needs improvement: I want to improve my overall health.
Who do I need to talk with? I will schedule an appointment with my doctor and see if I can get two friends to start walking with me.
When do I start to correct this area? As soon as I consult with my doctor and get my walking friends.
What is my timetable for correcting this area? Start no later than two weeks from current date.
What do I use to monitor this area? I will use a diet program and walk one mile three to four times weekly.
Target date for correction: Six months to one year.
