Back in the day, we never had a problem with these pesky sparkly vampires. Oh, we would get an occasional deer in the yard, or a squirrel, or even a raccoon, but never vampires. It was a peaceful, quiet little town in the Pacific Northwest called Spoon. We never caused anyone any trouble and they left us well enough alone.
But those days are gone. Now these emo vampires are everywhere. Not to mention those dang waxing werewolves. It's getting to the point where you can't even have a beer in the backyard without some blood sucking freak moping about.
**Now including the bonus short: Powerpoint Zombies**
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About the Author
I have been writing science fiction and fantasy stories for many years.
My writing has an edge to it. I enjoy exploring the dark and surreal landscapes of the mind.
The first two novels in my Legend Of The Crystals series are out (Crystal Warrior and Crystal Origin).
Book Three (Crystal Legacy) should be out in 2013.
I also have a science fiction short story collection out called Skin Of Giants,
a Twilight Parody called How To Keep Sparkly Emo Vampires Off Your Lawn,
and a poetry book called She Stands At The Precipice
My Lovecraftian horror novelette, Eater Of Eyes, just came out.
Thanks for reading!
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
Funny and fun to read. Please read this exciting book!
Can i join please i might die of boredom -Taylor XD @.@
Just do neh
This book is so goddamn funny oi almost pissed my pants and or skirt more than fiffteen times or was it twenty i lost count at one point.
I absolutely loved this book. Hands down it is probably my favorite read this week. It had me smiling from the get go, a hard task considering I was sick and sleepy. I accidently stumbled on it while searching for something to read and hopefully wear my eyes out so I could fall asleep. Lucky me this was what I stumbled on. This spoof is one of those short reads you want to read over and over again. No matter how many times it will keep you smiling and even laughing at some parts as it makes fun of a certain series despite never saying names. Once you read the first chapter you will know though. I read it twice trying to find that quote that stuck out at me, but the truth is I loved the entire thing just as much. I even recommended it to my fiance, someone who seems to have a deathly allergy to reading a book. Who, after hearing a short summary, is thinking about reading it.