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How to Say It for Couples: Communicating with Tenderness, Openness and Honesty
     

How to Say It for Couples: Communicating with Tenderness, Openness and Honesty

by Paul Coleman, Paul Coleman
 
Anyone who has ever been in a loving relationship knows that the wrong word, phrase, gesture, or look can transform a mild disagreement into World War III. But it doesn’t have to end that way.
 
Psychologist and family therapist Paul Coleman has created the essential resource that you can rely on for clear, concise information about positive,

Overview

Anyone who has ever been in a loving relationship knows that the wrong word, phrase, gesture, or look can transform a mild disagreement into World War III. But it doesn’t have to end that way.
 
Psychologist and family therapist Paul Coleman has created the essential resource that you can rely on for clear, concise information about positive, effective, and caring communication. In How to Say It for Couples, Coleman spotlights the most common differences in communication between people and guides couples through the most challenging events of their lives, using real-life examples to illustrate the best way to speak to one another. You and your partner will quickly discover how to say just the right thing in any situation—no matter how difficult it may be.

Editorial Reviews

Publishers Weekly
Psychologist and family therapist Coleman (How to Say It to Your Kids) imparts practical wisdom on a most elusive pursuit: finding the right words. He suggests both general approaches and specific words and phrases concerning numerous potential conflicts, from child-rearing, commitment issues and "How to Playfully and Lovingly Turn Down Sex" to disparate intensities in career ambitions and difficult in-laws. With a glass-half-full approach (e.g., shy people marry later than outgoing people, which increases the chance of successful marriage) designed to help people accept their partners as they are and learn to compromise, this clear, well-organized, reassuring book will benefit many couples. (Jan.) Copyright 2001 Cahners Business Information.
Library Journal
Two veteran family therapists have each written an excellent book on communication between partners. The author of I Don't Want To Talk About It, Real analyzes the reasons why men and women don't speak the same emotional language: boys' emotional relationships are squelched early on by peers, siblings, and fathers, whereas women learn to accommodate. Written with couples' therapy dramatizations, Real's book demonstrates his five relational skills: how to hold the relationship in regard, how to speak, how to listen, how to negotiate, and how to stay on course. Real, who is often called upon to arbitrate between couples as a last resort, is excellent at showing how couples can uncover hidden issues from the past and begin healing. The author of How To SayR It to Your Kids, Coleman takes a workbook approach to marriage therapy. He opens with six questions to which the couple must answer "happy" or "unhappy." He then explains his GIFTS technique in conversations: be Gentle, fix arguments with In-flight repairs, Find hidden concerns, use Teamwork, and reassure with Supportive comments. Each chapter begins with a scenario and continues with short tips under the "Have you heard?" heading, followed by "How to say it" and "How not to say it" and ending with "How to say it to yourself." Since chapter layouts are the same, the reader can easily pick out a problem area and read the two- to three-page chapter. Some topics include encouraging more conversation, rigid vs. flexible personalities, pregnancy, and cybersex. As popular marriage therapy manuals, these books are both suitable for public libraries and medical collections. The Coleman title is easier to use for a quick "fix," but Real's theories about men and women and how to take care of a marriage, though challenging, may prove more fruitful. Lisa Wise, Broome Cty. P.L., Binghamton, NY Copyright 2001 Cahners Business Information.

Product Details

ISBN-13:
9780735202610
Publisher:
Penguin Publishing Group
Publication date:
01/28/2002
Pages:
400
Product dimensions:
7.00(w) x 9.00(h) x 1.10(d)

Meet the Author

Dr. Paul Coleman is a psychologist in private practice specializing in anxiety disorders and marriage and family concerns. The author of nine books, he has appeared on Oprah, Today, Geraldo, Good Day New York, and radio stations across the country. He is acolumnist for Marriage magazine, a Q&A expert for iParenting.com, and a frequent expert in articles appearing in Cosmopolitan, Men’s Health, and Parents. He is the author of How to Say It to Your Kids and The 30 Secrets of Happily Married Couples.

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