I am Diva!: Every Woman's Guide to Outrageous Living

I am Diva!: Every Woman's Guide to Outrageous Living


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Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780446679558
Publisher: Grand Central Publishing
Publication date: 04/28/2003
Edition description: ORIGINAL
Pages: 304
Product dimensions: 7.10(w) x 9.16(h) x 0.74(d)

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Every Woman's Guide to Outrageous Living
By Elena Bates, Maureen O'Crean, Molly Thompson and Carilyn Vaile

Warner Books

Copyright © 2003 The Four Divas: Elena Bates, Maureen O'Crean, Molly Thompson and Carilyn Vaile
All right reserved.

ISBN: 0446679550

Chapter One

Week 1

The Journey to Divaness

You are an extraordinary woman, how can you expect to live an ordinary life? -LOUISA MAY ALCOTT

When I was a little girl, I believed I was special. I didn't know exactly what that meant other than a certainty that I had a precious gift to give the world. As I grew older, though, I didn't feel special anymore; I only felt different. I never seemed to belong, and like Cindy, I wanted more than anything not to be different anymore. In my thirties I worked endlessly to blend in with everyone else. It never worked. I don't know why I wasted all that time silencing my true self. I am different, I am special, and so are you.

How do you know? Well, have you ever reached a point in your life where you just wanted to slap yourself silly and scream, "Wake up, girl! Smell the coffee and the roses, read the writing on the wall, do anything, but please, please, please, not one more boring minute of life"? I know I have. I've spent years denying who I am, to the point that on many days I truly didn't know who I was anymore. Sometimes enough is just enough, and we wake up to find our life speeding past us as if it were on a turbo train.

I had one of those wake-up calls a few years ago when, in a swirl of emotions, fear, and excitement, my life landed in sunny California, like Dorothy's house in the Land of Oz. Full of expectations that life would be just grand now, thank you very much, I was astonished to find my new "Technicolor life" was still as dull as black and white-again. Really, how many times do we have to do the same things over and over again and get the same results? I had become a master of disguise. If things looked different, I convinced myself they were different. Ooh, here it is: a new man, a new job, a new diet, on and on and on. That is, until the day-which, by the way, always comes-when I recognized that it was my same old patterns returning. Apparently I had to repeat the past almost to infinity before I could discover my Diva roots.

I'd love to spare you some of that endless repetition. Maybe you're coming to this book late in the game and, like me, have done it wrong millions of times already. Maybe you're just starting out and want to avoid the pitfalls of doldrums living. No matter what your current status, you can make a turnaround now. How? First gauge your stage by checking where you are along the Diva Contentment Continuum. Answer the following questions, and yes, honesty is the best policy:

1. If you were to take your clothes off right now, the world would see:

a. Your favorite matching bra and panties. You go, girl!

b. Beautiful separate pieces, just not in the same color palette.

c. Acceptable, clean white underwear with no noticeable holes.

d. Stretched elastic in the panties, holes on the left cheek, and the wire out of the rim on one side of your bra.

2. Your girlfriend calls you on the spur of the moment and invites you out for dinner. You answer:

a. "Great," whip a fabulous outfit together, and meet her in thirty minutes.

b. "Can't, have to work late, can we reschedule?"

c. "I'd love to but my hair's not done."

d. "Sorry, I'm busy. I can't miss Dawson's Creek again!"

3. You've just met the most fabulous man at the coffee shop and he wants to walk you back to your office. Your first thought is:

a. This is perfect; he'll get to see my favorite colors and flowers for future reference.

b. I wish I'd tidied up my desk and put the nail polish away.

c. I hope my boss isn't there to remind me about the report that's late.

d. I don't want him to see my office: "Let's go to your office instead."

4. You're meeting some new friends for lunch. It's a very expensive restaurant, and you were expecting to go to the diner. When the menu comes, you think:

a. No problem, I'll put the meal on my credit card, because I pay the balance off every month.

b. I'll just have an appetizer; I think I have twenty bucks on me.

c. I'll say I'm on a diet and have a salad.

d. I'll use my debit card and hope I don't bounce another check.

5. You've been working at a feverish pace for the past few weeks. You finally have a day off, so you're going to:

a. Go to the spa, get your nails done, and see an old friend.

b. Sleep in and read a trashy romance novel.

c. Run errands and get caught up on your mail.

d. Make a few meals for the week and get caught up on the laundry.

Answer key for the Diva Contentment Continuum: Give yourself 20 points for each a, 15 points for each b, 10 points for each c, and 5 points for each d answer.

100: Divalicious! Congratulations. You're on the right path. The Diva journey will simply enhance your pizzazz.

80-99: Diva-in-Waiting. You have some great things going for you; all you need is a little polish on this Diamond in the Rough. The Diva journey will bring out your shine.

70-89: Diva-Wanna-be. Your priorities are stretched to the max and you long to have fun. This book will put the zest back into your life.

0-70: Diva Emergency. You give and you give and this is what you get? A life with too much stress and too little fun. Stay with us and by the end of the year you won't recognize yourself.


My score on the Diva Contentment Continuum was a 25, so I decided it was time to start living as if this life weren't a practice session. I'd always believed that I was destined for more, but how could I break through all the obligations I'd accumulated? My time was overcommitted: to the Parent-Teacher Organization, and the church, and community service projects, and work, and Little League. It seemed like the same six women showed up for every project in town, and I was one of the six. Like Divarella, I longed for a strong voice to say, "No. Thank you very much, but No." I believe that all of us are special. Within each one of us is a tiny bud set to bloom, at a time that is uniquely ours. I don't know the exact moment of awakening for you, or for myself for that matter, but we're assured by the Legend of Diva that we will indeed blossom. We're also assured that we can't grow too old to bloom, thank God, for the spirit of our Diva is more resilient than our ovaries.

Over time, we begin to feel the stirring of our Diva. We become quietly disheartened with our trophies and gadgets and more in tune with seeking our own individual voices. It might come as quietly as the urge to take dancing lessons at the local high school, or change our hair color, or try a new style of clothing. It doesn't really matter how the bud begins to stir. It only matters that we nurture ourselves and give ourselves permission to burst with life.

One day, full of discontent, I thought, What would a Diva do? and my journey began. I began to seek out evidence of Divas. Whenever I felt powerless or helpless, I would imagine what Audrey Hepburn, or Madonna, or Oprah would do in the same situations. Sometimes it was Michael Jordan (representing my male energy, I'm sure). I made a collage of my "Divas and Divos" to inspire me to be more than I was being in that moment. I would actually visualize Audrey Hepburn, head held high, back straight, shoulders erect, and my demeanor would automatically shift. It worked every time. As I started this journey filled with excitement, guess what showed up? Every area of my life where I was not living up to my full Diva potential. I would look at Madonna dressed in a fabulous outfit and ask myself, Why did I listen to play-it-safe rules? When I looked in the mirror, sure enough, I was dressed in my standard black outfit, which bored me to tears. Where was my self-expression and style? My clothing might have made me look thinner but it sure didn't lift my spirits-and that glumness in my reflection added more weight than any black pantsuit could hide. It was time for a change, a drastic change in my life. And my journey began, just like yours will today.

My greatest inspiration of all time comes from the movie The Wizard of Oz. At one point Dorothy says to Glinda, the Good Witch of the North, "How do I start?" The all-knowing Glinda lovingly gazes in the eyes of the distraught Dorothy and says, "It's best to start at the beginning."

You are off on the adventure of your lifetime. Enjoy! - Maureen

To get you started on your journey, you'll want some basic supplies to record your fabulous transformation. We urge you to record your journey so that you will remember how far you've come. Buy a big, blank sketchpad or scrapbook-make sure it's acid-free paper so your diary will last. If you like, decorate it Diva-style, with glitter, velvet, or a boa trim. The purpose of the decorations is for you to be excited every time you pick it up. My Diva Diary is trimmed with a light pink marabou boa and it's delightful. You'll also want to create a Diva Supply Box to help, so here's our suggested list of Diva supplies: glitter, glitter pens with feathers in your favorite colors, scissors, glue sticks (we like the ones that go on purple and turn invisible), sequins, invisible tape, highlighter pens in at least three colors, stickers for a job well done, and any little Diva specialties that you create.


Every week we will list some Diva Do 's to help you play-and-win-the Diva game. This week 's Do 's help lay the foundation for your journey.

1. Make your own inspirational Diva collage. Identify your role models of Divine qualities. Look for love, passion, beauty, strength, power, vision, persistence, loyalty, grace, gentleness, courage, integrity, charisma, style, and authenticity. Find pictures in magazines of people who inspire you to cut out and put in your Diva Diary. Label each one with the quality you want, so you'll always remember why you chose this person.

2. Pick one quality you admire to focus on. Don't be discouraged; when you start this process, a cruel trick of fate is to show you every time you fall short of this quality. Take fifteen minutes each day to reflect on what will be present in your life if you have, for example, more grace.

3. Create a new action to integrate this quality into your life. When I practice gentleness, I speak softly and move slowly. When I first started I could only do it for a little while. Like muscles, we grow stronger with practice.

4. Before you go to bed at night, look at your collage to help you dream about what you desire. Keep a pen and paper handy to record your dreams when you wake up. You can transfer any special dreams into your Diva Diary later. Most of all, enjoy your practices. If you stress, take the Diva Default-take a bubble bath instead.


TRANSFORM YOURSELF -EVEN IF IT 'S ONLY TEMPORARY. Buy yourself some water transfer tattoos and put them in all your favorite risqué places. I put a red heart on my breast and felt truly "bad."


Excerpted from I AM DIVA! by Elena Bates, Maureen O'Crean, Molly Thompson and Carilyn Vaile Copyright © 2003 by The Four Divas: Elena Bates, Maureen O'Crean, Molly Thompson and Carilyn Vaile
Excerpted by permission. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.

Table of Contents

The Legend of Divaxvii
The Divalution: Our Evolution to Divaxxi
Step IDusting Off the Diva1
Week 1The Journey to Divaness3
Week 2Escaping the Dungeon9
Week 3Defining the Diva in You14
Week 4Acknowledge the Goddess Within19
Step IIThe Heart of the Diva: Secrets to Love, Inspiration, and Fun!25
Week 5Generosity27
Week 6Acceptance--Sweet Surrender31
Week 7Passion35
Week 8Freedom40
Step IIIUnleashing Your Femininity: Sources of Diva Glamour and Power45
Week 9Key to the Kingdom: The Boa!47
Week 10"Tiara" Presence52
Week 11Scents and Scentsabilities56
Week 12All That Glitters Is Diva!61
Step IVConquering the Anti-Diva67
Week 13"Watch Out, World!" Vanquish the Green-Eyed Monster!69
Week 14Diva Emergency Alert System, aka Diva Interventions75
Week 15Defusing the Time Bombs80
Week 16From Regret to Opportunity84
Step VLessons in Strength89
Week 17I Am Diva, Hear Me Roar!91
Week 18The Diva's Pot of Gold96
Week 19The Bionic Diva102
Week 20Integrity, the Foundation of Power107
Step VIA Diva's Surroundings111
Week 21From Clutter to Clarity113
Week 22Closet Clutter: Out with the Old!117
Week 23Home Sweet Home122
Week 24Illumination: Ignite Your Creativity126
Step VIISelf-Expression131
Week 25Breaking the Rules--or Better Yet, Redefining Them133
Week 26Humor--Lighten Up, Divas!138
Week 27Delightful Delusions143
Week 28Be Outrageous!147
Step VIIIA Diva's Image151
Week 29Creating the Diva's Style153
Week 30Color: The Magic Wand159
Week 31Playing the Field (of Hair and Makeup, That Is!)164
Week 32Diva Charm School: Magnetism 101170
Step IXDiva Elixirs175
Week 33Exercise--Not Taboo After All!177
Week 34Songs in the Key of Life182
Week 35The Scents of the Diva: Armatherapy187
Week 36Houdiva: Escape to Serenity192
Step XSensuality197
Week 37Lingerie (I'm Too Sexy for My Clothes!)199
Week 38The Spell of High Heels203
Week 39The Art of the Plentiful Woman: Lessons in Sex Appeal207
Week 40Sexy at Sixty211
Step XIDivadom! The World Tour217
Week 41La Dolce Vita219
Week 42Vive la Diva!224
Week 43"Cuchi-Cuchi!"228
Week 44Rodeo Queens and Other Divas from Around the World232
Step XIILuxury237
Week 45Diamonds, Multifaceted Like the Diva239
Week 46Tiara Time-Out!242
Week 47"Welcome to Fantasy Island"246
Week 48Extravagance251
Step XIIILiving Diva255
Week 49Friends Are Forever257
Week 50Travel, Diva-Style261
Week 51Leap First, Look Later: A Lesson in Spontaneity265
Week 52Celebration!269
I Am Diva Certificate274

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