I Don't Want to Be Crazy

I Don't Want to Be Crazy

by Samantha Schutz

Paperback(Reprint)

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Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780439805193
Publisher: Scholastic, Inc.
Publication date: 08/01/2007
Edition description: Reprint
Pages: 288
Product dimensions: 5.12(w) x 7.08(h) x 0.66(d)
Age Range: 12 - 17 Years

About the Author


Samantha Schutz is the author of the acclaimed memoir I Don't Want to Be Crazy, which was a New York Public Library Best Book for Teens and Voices of Youth Advocates Poetry Pick. You Are Not Here is her first novel. Samantha lives and works in New York City as a children's book editor. For more about her, please visit www.samanthaschutz.net.

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I Don't Want to Be Crazy 3.9 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 29 reviews.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
When i was younger i suffered from a lot of anxiety and it basically took over my life and my childhood. When i read this book my Samantha Schutz i was impressed and so thankful that she had the courage to write this book based on her journey through panic attacks because people need to understand that anyone could get it. Her storyvis insightful and wondweful. Thank you Samantha!!
Pr_Mico More than 1 year ago
When reading this book, I got mixed emotions when the author described her battle with anxiety. Of course, I felt bad because she feels she doesn't have control of her life, but then I feel she's overreacting and just freaks out about any little thing. Obviously, it's hard to relate to if you don't go through anxiety but it’s understandable when you read about the struggles. Interesting read if you want to know what it's like to deal with anxiety.
Guest More than 1 year ago
I really loved this book. It was an interesting read and I could really relate to the main character. This book helps you to understand that some people have struggles that they have to deal with in their everyday life and it is really difficult for them. I don't want to spoil the book at all so I'll just leave it at that.
GaylDasherSmith on LibraryThing 29 days ago
A bit too long, but a very good examination of the stress of leaving home for college and what anxiety disorder looks like from the inside. Told in free verse, which is interesting.
Crowyhead on LibraryThing 29 days ago
When Samantha Schutz started college, she began to have frightening episodes for which she had no explanation. She would become fearful, particularly during class, have difficulty breathing, experience heart palpitations, and sometimes pass out. Every episode made things worse: fear of having an attack could trigger an attack. Eventually, Schutz learned that she was having panic attacks, and she suffered from panic disorder.This is a frank, heartfelt memoir, told in free verse, that describes Schutz's college years and her struggle with anxiety and panic. I was dubious about the poetry format -- who wants to read someone else's poetry about their depression and anxiety? -- but it actually works really, really well. Schutz is able to capture moments and episodes in her life with wrenching clarity, and out of the short poems a complete portrait emerges. I think this is a particularly important book because there are so many memoirs of depression, and comparatively few that describe what it is like to live with unending anxiety. This was published as a YA book, but I would recommend it to just about anyone.
janbrennan on LibraryThing 29 days ago
Valuable beyond words for anyone who has experienced anxiety disorders or for anyone wanting to know what it is like to feel so debilitated.
ChristineOC on LibraryThing 29 days ago
Samantha Schutz shares her thoughts, phobias, and day to day struggles in this poetic memoir of her painful realization that she has anxiety disorder. She has been given everything she needs to become successful in life from her parents, but, something they cannot give her is peace of mind when she begins having panic attacks at the age of 17. She lets the reader into her most secret and personal thoughts and feelings while she tries to cope with the internal conflict between her mind and body. With more and more pressure being placed on teens today regarding grades, schools, and acceptance, I Don¿t Want to be Crazy is a must read for all high school and college students. Like it has been ripped out of her personal journal, I Don¿t Want to be Crazy will keep readers interested through the daily account of Samantha¿s life while she tries to come to terms with a hidden disease. This memoir deals with a teen¿s life from high school through college graduation and beyond. Many YA¿s think they are the only ones living with anxiety disorder, when actually an estimated 13% of the U.S. adult population suffers for this disease. While living through this with my husband shortly after he graduated from college, Schut¿z memoirs are very similar to what we were fighting several years ago. This book can certainly help anyone going through this.
krugerskalss on LibraryThing 29 days ago
This book is a sad and true account of a girl's struggle with Anxiety Disorder. It is a very good book, and almost painful to understand what Samantha goes through.
llpollac on LibraryThing 29 days ago
When Samantha leaves for college, she expects to find independence from the strict rules of her parents house, not to face increasingly debilitating panic attacks. This memoir is a good look at the challenges of living with panic disorder. Told in free verse, Samantha describes all aspects of her experience, from how a panic attack feels to the types of medications that she tries to dealing with the other challenges of college life on top of a mental illness. The verse splits the narrative up into shorter lines, which may make it a good choice for reluctant readers, but otherwise does not add much to the work. Characters also remain underdeveloped, and readers looking for a detailed account of life in college will be disappointed, as Samantha compresses all four years of college and her first year post-college into a 280 page volume. A list of resources for those dealing with anxiety and panic disorder is provided at the end of the volume. Recommended for high schoolers and older, especially those who know someone with mental illness.
4sarad on LibraryThing 5 months ago
I Don¿t Want to Be Crazy is Samantha Schutz¿s true account of her college years as she dealt with her anxiety disorder. The book lets you delve into her world and experience first hand what a panic attack feels like and how terrified you can become of having another. This is an eye-opening book and is written in easy to read verse formatting.I thought this book was well written, but it does not have enough of a plot or story to keep teens interested unless they or someone they know has an anxiety disorder. The book covers four years of Samantha¿s life and is less than 300 pages long, so there are constant leaps in time which can be confusing. There are also too many friends and boys mentioned to easily keep track of. Overall it is a good book, but it has a somewhat limited audience.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Angelb4u77 More than 1 year ago
I’m no expert on free verse, but I’m not certain that taking everyday sentences and breaking them into stanzas  counts as poetry.   Perhaps I was expecting  a more eloquent voice, and while there are gems here,  most of this memoir reads like a shattered paragraph. That said, there is courage in these pages.  Living day to day with a mental illness such as Anxiety Disorder takes a special kind of strength, a strength that many people who’ve never had a panic attack might not appreciate.  Samantha Schutz takes her bravery to the next level in this frank memoir as she talks about a very painful time in her life.  Are you one of those lucky people who’ve never had a public meltdown?  Or maybe you know someone who has?  Schutz will walk you expertly through it, from the shaking hands to the hot and cold flashes to the overwhelming certainty that everyone in the room knows how crazy she (thinks she) is.   This memoir follows Schutz through four years of college, starting with her first panic attack freshman year while in Writing Seminar, continuing with a disastrous trip to Europe, and finally leveling out post-graduation, all the while she thoroughly documents her therapies and medications.  Strong focus was given to the situations which make her feel especially vulnerable, such as a crowded lecture hall and the cafeteria (or any situation where there’s loud chatter and crowds and social expectations).  There is lots of talk about parties and friends and making out with boys and wanting to break away from parental authority.  And this is fine—for the first quarter of the memoir.  But then things start getting REPETITIVE.  Over and over, she has to leave a party/dinner/random event early because of panic; she wonders if this boy or that boy will ever call her back; and, of course, will she ever get over these incessant panic attacks?  And then…rinse and repeat.  More parties, more boys, more panic.  Because of the concise but clipped narrative (poetry), we don’t get a fully fleshed out world or relationships, and so one overwhelming party becomes the next, one nervous dinner is indistinguishable from all the rest, one person the same as the other, another therapist prescribes another drug.  And so on and so on and so on, until the thoughtful truths and genuine issues presented get muddled down by the reader’s need to just have it end already.  And okay, yes, there is a certain poetic symmetry to this—as each panic attacks piles onto the last, Schutz just wonders if it will ever end.   But aside from feeling as if I experienced a panic attack myself while reading it, I don’t feel like this memoir had a strong message or a particularly inspiring resolution.  I think writing it and getting her story to the world was an important and brave step in Shutz’s recovery, and undoubtedly there are people out there who will relate to this book and find it valuable.   If you suffer from Anxiety Disorder and need to feel like you are not alone, this memoir is for you.  If you know someone who suffers from panic attacks, but you can’t quite understand what it is they’re experiencing, this memoir is for you.  If you are looking for a page tuner or eloquent poetry, if you are looking for an in-depth and detailed look at the causes, issues, and aftermath of mental illness, you should probably look elsewhere.  Instead, I recommend Girl, Interrupted by Susanna Kaysen. Best Lines: “All I can hear is my voice in my head telling me things are not right—that I am not right.” “I am the cure and the disease.” “Passing out makes me think about death—about the moment before dying and how it must feel to be pulled away from everything you love and have no control.” “The only thing that makes me feel better is the thought of slightly stiff hospital sheets, the scent of disinfectant, and a tag on my wrist.” “I fear my whole life will be exactly like this—seen from behind my eyes, never touching.” “I’ve built myself safety nets, but they bind me like a web.” 
Guest More than 1 year ago
I enjoyed this book. As someone who has Clinical Depression, I can tell you from experience that this is a realistic book. It is also interesting to read, and it is over before you know it.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
SydneyR More than 1 year ago
Sam is a troubled teen who wants to be perfect and normal. This book takes us through Sam's moving away to college. Away from her boyfriend and family, Sam becomes troubled with parties and boys along her way. As Sam progresses through college, she starts having anxiety attacks. She gets red, hears voices tell her she is not ok, sweats, and watches the world seem to move in slow motion. Jean, Sam's psychologist, gives Sam some pills to help with the attacks. Unfortunaly, the pills do not help Sam much and her attacks worsen. Sam goes through everyday trying to be perfect, and normal, and appear to be not crazy. I would recommend this book to anyone who enjoys reading about troubled teens. I thought this was a very well written book. I enjoyed the psychology factor of this book talking about the anxiety attacks. I think Samantha Schutz is great young writer. The only problem I had was the layout of the book. I didn't like how the text was laid out on the pages.
anj_v More than 1 year ago
this story is very informative and goes into quite detail about how a girl comes to realize her problems and the challenges of dealing with it in college/family. i really enjoyed reading it.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
This book is very life like. I fell in love with this book very fast. i read the first page and was hooked. This book is about a girl who goes off to collage and from all the stress starts having anxiety attacks and has to deal with them all through collage. She meets all diffrent people and guys. She is happy and sad to be away from her "boyfriend" Jason. He played with her emotions all the time, but she didn't want to leave him because he gave her a since of saftey. I recommed this book to everyone that enjoys true stories. This book is written in a poetry memoir.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Shelby3lizabeth More than 1 year ago
This book was not my favorite at all! It was just a bunch of events in a persons life that didn't even go anywhere. I wouldn't recomend this book to anyone.
TeensReadToo More than 1 year ago
Millions of people suffer from anxiety disorder (panic attacks) on a daily basis. Most suffer needlessly, either due to lack of medical treatment, misdiagnosis, or ignorance of the condition. I DON'T WANT TO BE CRAZY is one woman's brave confession of her struggles with the debilitating disorder.

Samantha Schutz was first diagnosed with anxiety disorder at age seventeen, after years of suffering with the problem. She uses this memoir to describe the devastating effects of the condition on her life and her relationships. The book chronicles the ups and downs of Samantha's life from age seventeen until she graduates from college and gets her first job in the publishing industry.

Told in verse, the story reveals everything from the gripping terror of the attacks to the many therapists she consulted for help. Samantha titles her entries with the current drugs (Klonopin, Serzone, Xanax, Paxil, etc.) and the dosages she was prescribed to treat her condition. She also explains her attempts to stop the medications, and her belief that things would get better, only to relapse with increasing frequency.

Samantha's honesty is evident throughout. She doesn't promise miracle cures, and she truly marvels at the support she received from her family and most of her friends. This is an inspiring book for anyone living with or connected to someone living with anxiety disorder.
Guest More than 1 year ago
In this deeply touching novel, Samantha Schutz writes about her struggles with anxiety disorder throughout her college experience. An amazing summer read for anyone who is looking for a book that will change the way you see things. Five stars!!!
Guest More than 1 year ago
This book was so good, I couldn't put it down! The author's story is so real and different from other books that I have read. The way she wrote it(in verse) made it seem more real like I was experiencing it as well. I talked about this book for my english seminar-it deals with lots of important issues. Not just mental disorders. So everyone read this book!
Guest More than 1 year ago
Millions of people suffer from anxiety disorder (panic attacks) on a daily basis. Most suffer needlessly, either due to lack of medical treatment, misdiagnosis, or ignorance of the condition. I DON¿T WANT TO BE CRAZY is one woman¿s brave confession of her struggles with the debilitating disorder. Samantha Schutz was first diagnosed with anxiety disorder at age seventeen, after years of suffering with the problem. She uses this memoir to describe the devastating effects of the condition on her life and her relationships. The book chronicles the ups and downs of Samantha¿s life from age seventeen until she graduates from college and gets her first job in the publishing industry. Told in verse, the story reveals everything from the gripping terror of the attacks to the many therapists she consulted for help. Samantha titles her entries with the current drugs (Klonopin, Serzone, Xanax, Paxil, etc.) and the dosages she was prescribed to treat her condition. She also explains her attempts to stop the medications, and her belief that things would get better, only to relapse with increasing frequency. Samantha's honesty is evident throughout. She doesn't promise miracle cures, and she truly marvels at the support she received from her family and most of her friends. This is an inspiring book for anyone living with or connected to someone living with anxiety disorder. **Reviewed by: Sally Kruger, aka 'Readingjunky'
Guest More than 1 year ago
I thought this was a very interesting book. I was glad that I picked it up that day in the library. It was the title that got me, then the reviews in the back. Seeing that Ellen Hopkins had made a comment, gave me more reason to read it. And i'm glad I did, this story is full of emotion and distress. It put you in someone elses place everytime you opened the book.