I Hate Myselfie: A Collection of Essays by Shane Dawson

I Hate Myselfie: A Collection of Essays by Shane Dawson

by Shane Dawson


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I Hate Myselfie: A Collection of Essays by Shane Dawson by Shane Dawson

New York Times Bestseller● Publishers Weekly Bestseller ● Los Angeles Times Bestseller ● Wall Street Journal Bestseller

From his first vlog back in 2008 to his full-length film directorial debut Not Cool, Shane Dawson has been an open book when it comes to documenting his life. But behind the music video spoofs, TMI love life details, and outrageous commentary on everything the celebrity and Internet world has the nerve to dish out is a guy who grew up in a financially challenged but loving home in Long Beach, California, and who suffered all the teasing and social limitations that arise when you’re a morbidly obese kid with a pretty face, your mom is your best friend, and you can't get a date to save your life.

In I Hate Myselfie, Shane steps away from his larger-than-life Internet persona and takes us deep into the experiences of an eccentric and introverted kid, who by observing the strange world around him developed a talent that would inspire millions of fans. Intelligent, hilarious, heartbreaking, and raw, I Hate Myselfie is a collection of eighteen personal essays about how messy life can get when you’re growing up and how rewarding it can feel when the clean-up is (pretty much) done.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781476791548
Publisher: Atria/Keywords Press
Publication date: 03/10/2015
Pages: 240
Sales rank: 15,684
Product dimensions: 5.56(w) x 8.36(h) x 0.70(d)

About the Author

Shane Dawson is a director, actor, comedian, musician, YouTube vlogger, and the New York Times bestselling author of I Hate Myselfie. He lives in Hollywood, California. Find him on YouTube.com/user/ShaneDawsonTV.

Read an Excerpt

I Hate Myselfie

Hi. I’m Shane Dawson. Some of you might know me from my videos on the internet. Some of you might know me from the movie I directed entitled Not Cool. And some of you might know me as the guy you saw on the cover of this book who has an incredibly punchable face. I’m all of those things and more! I also have an incredibly punchable body, but none of you will ever get to see that.

For the record, I don’t really hate myself, but I do hate the way I portray myself online. Hence, “myselfie.” See what I did there? Online I’m this loud, outrageous, confident guy who acts like nothing bothers him and he has the whole world at his fingertips. In reality, I’m a shy, quiet guy who would rather spend his nights lying in bed watching Netflix than being a valuable member of society. If I could spend my entire life underneath a heating blanket with a handful of my own balls I would happily do so.

I’m not saying that I don’t like the stuff I put out into the world, because I genuinely enjoy my videos and think they are funny. What I’m saying is that I embrace the fact that I have a punchable face, and that if I could punch myself without feeling it I would. Sometimes I scroll through my Instagram page and audibly groan. What is the point of posting four pictures a day of yourself doing the same duck face in four different locations? If you go through my Instagram feed it’s like a flip book of me thinking I’m WAY more attractive than I am. It’s nauseating. But feel free to follow me at @SHANEDAWSON! You can also follow me on Twitter, where I post important tweets like: “I think I just pooped blood. Should I go to the doctor? Nvmd, just gonna google it,” and “Ugh. Is Emma Stone still a thing? Can that be over yet?” It gets really deep. I’m a social warrior, clearly.

In this book, you’ll get to see the real me, not the “me” you see on YouTube. You will get to know what’s really in my head, and I’m warning you it’s not pretty. It’s a twisted land of self-hatred, sadness, and lots of repressed anger toward every person who’s ever hurt me. ENJOY! Don’t worry, I threw in some dick and fart jokes to make the stories a little easier to handle. Kind of like mixing in some peanut butter with your medicine, which by the way my mom used to do. You haven’t lived till you’ve had a Vicodin peanut butter marshmallow fluff sandwich. I can still taste the numbing of my emotions. Delicious.

I urge you to sit back, enjoy, and know that in the end things have gotten better for me. And they will for you too, if that’s anything you’re worried about. Feel free to laugh at my misfortune and get that feeling of “Wow, my life is SO much better than THAT guy’s.”

Obviously joking but semi-serious,

Shane Dawson

Table of Contents

About the Art ix

I Hate Myselfie: An Introduction 1

My Destinee 5

My High School Musical 15

Two First Kisses 29

The Original Catfish 41

Between Hollywood and an Abortion Clinic 55

Denny's and Death 71

My Birthday Suit 83

Internet Famous 93

How to Survive a Horror Movie 107

The Mean Girl Got Fat 121

My Girl (Space) Friends 133

My Strange Addictions 143

YouTube Got Me Fired 155

Astral Projection 169

Just a Pretty Face 179

My Leg Twin 189

Shocktuber 201

Prom 209

Acknowledgments 227

Customer Reviews

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I Hate Myselfie: A Collection of Essays by Shane Dawson 4.9 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 78 reviews.
ACoons54 More than 1 year ago
This is a wickedly good book. Even if you haven't seen Shane's Internet videos, it is still a fun romp. He has a crazy sense of humor and it translates in this book.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Go for him soooo proud!
NXXY More than 1 year ago
My friend got me this book for my 18th birthday. I got so happy when I got it, I started tearing up :') I haven't read the whole thing yet, I think I still have about 2 chapters to go. I love it. He tries to brighten up every misfortune by making jokes about it. That's exactly how I try to survive everyday. Just smile and laugh trough the pain guys! ...people will give you weird looks but it works! ...I think, idk I should ask my therapist about it. ANYWAYS, Shane did an amazing job with writing down his thoughts. It's sad, funny, heartwarming... some parts made me cry. I think my favorite parts about his book are where he talks about his grandmother. I think I'm a step closer to figuring my life out, all thanks to this book. It's extremely inspirational. Thank you Shane, have a nice life :)
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I've been watching Shane for about 5 or 6 years now and I can say that I've never laughed harder. I've always wanted an inside look into his life, and that is just what I got. I love how real he is with his fans and I can't wait for anything else that Shane creates. U da man Shaneybird
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
If you want a quick, fun, and entertaining read, I strongly recommend this book to you.
ReinT More than 1 year ago
As a person who is not Shane's normal target audience I truly did enjoy this book. I know him from the internet but this is not like that. He details much of his life in a both serious and humorous way. I actually laughed out loud many times and also was brought to tears in a couple instances. I would definitely give this book a shot.
RobotPirates More than 1 year ago
The addiction to splenda made me laugh incredibly hard! I had a bulimic friend who did the same thing. The reason she liked it was because it didn't have calories. The book was everything and more than what I expected it to be, and I did put high expectations on this book. Shane and I are a lot alike. Great book! I would definitely recommend reading this, especially if you have low self-esteem. That wasn't meant to be an insult, but I think that's what just happened.
Sammiee97 More than 1 year ago
The book was funny and just so awesome, you have to love Shane Dawson.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
This book gave me everything promised. I smiled, laughed, and cried. I couldn't put it down. I love this book so much.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
The best biography I've ever read!!!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Gurl i just love shane dawson he is so funny and then his serious vids really speak to me and this book is just so hilarious
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
As a long time fan of Shane, I was excited to be able to read this book. I could not put it down! It took me a day and a half to read it. To be put in his life like that and to be able to understand how he became the Shane we all know and love, is amazing. I loved his stories and I loved knowing him on this personal level. I would reccomend this to anyone.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I love this book. The book has so many swears in it. But minus that its really good
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
The best part about "I Hate Myselfie is just how well you can relate to it.  It being hilarious doesn't hurt either.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
This is an amazing book and I highly recommend it! 
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
This is the book makes you realize your life is always get better.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I loved this book so much! I cannot wait for Shane Dawsons next book!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Shane dawson's book is really funny and really sweet and i think shane had alot of support coming from this book it took a while to write this book and it payed off. I just wanted to say good job shane and dont forget tbuy the book.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I am a bug fan of shane and am suscribed to all his channels and thus book really helpedme see the other shabe andvhis creativiry. Sorry about messy writing key boaris crackedd
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I personally hate reading but this book was amazing
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Supper funny and some great life stories.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Loved it so much it was mixed with so many emotions but over all i loved it shane great work. Im a fan btw and i didnt get to go to ur book signings but follow me on twitter @destinydoner byeeeee
BarbaraAndLibbyEnglish More than 1 year ago
My 14 year old daughter liked this book sooo much that I had to read it too!  Both of us read it in 2 days .  It was that good!  Definately 5 stars from both of us!