I Promised Not to Tell: Raising a transgender child

I Promised Not to Tell: Raising a transgender child

by Cheryl B Evans


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A Readers' Favorite 2017 Bronze Medal Award Winner.

Cheryl Evans and her husband Jim raised their children telling them: "You can be anything and do anything you want in life." They just never expected to learn that what their youngest daughter desired most in the world was to be a boy. Experience this powerful, raw and, deeply personal story as one family invites you to bear witness as they support their transgender child's transition from female to male.

While I Promised Not to Tell will help enlighten anyone interested in this topic it is especially valuable for a parent, relative or friend of a gender questioning or transgender person. Truly it is a book that should be read by every human being. It is a genuine, heartfelt and unforgettable LGBT parenting) memoir.

A wonderfully written and thought provoking true story that transitions beautifully between the family's personal journey and some of the larger societal issues that face the transgender community today.

While I Promised Not to Tell may not be as heavy on the science as some other books, (the author covers that in her 2nd book: What Does God Think?), this transgender book delves deeply into the social, emotional and surgical side of the transgender journey.

Even if you don't know a transgender person this book will make you feel as if you do. One Amazon reviewer even said: "By the end of the book I felt like I had become part of the family."

If you are a transgender person, this book might be an excellent way to introduce the topic to parents and loved ones. Coming out can be a scary time and this book may help make your experience a little easier. Perhaps even pave the way to acceptance and understanding.

Order your copy today!

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780995180710
Publisher: Cheryl B. Evans
Publication date: 07/15/2016
Pages: 230
Sales rank: 339,527
Product dimensions: 8.40(w) x 5.40(h) x 0.50(d)

About the Author

Wife, mother, friend and author. Cheryl B. Evans was born and raised in Canada. She has been happily married to her husband for more than twenty-three years and together they have raised two wonderful children, one of whom is transgender. In her spare time, Cheryl is an avid reader of non-fiction books and when she isn't writing or reading, she enjoys painting with acrylics.

Cheryl's close friend writes this about her: "As a person Cheryl B. Evans is determined, and ambitious, frank, persistent and supportive. She loves to laugh, drink flavoured coffee and eat chocolate. She will stop at nothing to support your kids, husband and family. She provides support to friends when they call crying. She is an advisor to all. No matter what the situation is she always comes out strong and smiling."

In reviewing her current book "I Promised Not to Tell" we think you will find her to be an honest writer who speaks from the heart. It is the author's personal desire that the book leave a positive mark on the world helping others to better understand transgender people.

Table of Contents

Introduction PART ONE: Ignorance is Bliss Chapter 1: Two Beautiful Daughters Chapter 2: Teachers & Strangers Chapter 3: An Effort to Conform Chapter 4: A Cry For Help PART TWO: The Quest for Truth and Knowledge Chapter 5: Health, Doctors and Hormones Chapter 6: A New Reality Chapter 7: What Does God Think? Chapter 8: Worthy of Support Chapter 9: It's A New Dawn Chapter 10: Maybe She is Gay? PART THREE: A Journey of Self Discovery Chapter 11: Why am I Transgender? Chapter 12: Mental Health Chapter 13: Steps in Transitioning Chapter 14: A Second Surgery Chapter 15: New Identification: Challenging the Bureaucracy Chapter 16: Which Washroom? Chapter 17: Dealt Another Blow PART FOUR: The Road Ahead Chapter 18: One More Surgery Chapter 19: The Dating Game Chapter 20: Looking to The Future Chapter 21: Some Final Thoughts Chapter 22: Thank You Helpful Resources Helpful Terms to Understand Acknowledgments About The Author

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I Promised Not to Tell: Raising a transgender child 4.8 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 4 reviews.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
What a wonderful book! I cannot find enough words of praise to describe "I Promised Not To Tell" by Cheryl B. Evans. Her story is a first person account of one mother's love for and acceptance of a transgender child and their journey as a family through the stages of acknowledgement, understanding, and transition. It is an amazing story, without ruffles and flourishes, but with the deep and abiding love of a mother for her child. As the author states, she wants her children to be "healthy and happy" and she and her husband do everything that is within their power to see that this happens. "I Promised Not To Tell" is both interesting and heartwarming as the author shares her efforts to ensure her child's wellbeing. It is a learning experience recounted with love and punctuated by the hope that others might learn from it. I highly recommend this book to parents everywhere and to their children, as well. We must all learn to be more accepting and knowledgeable in order to make this world a better place in which to live. Thank you for sharing your words!
Daliah Husu More than 1 year ago
I PROMISED NOT TO TELL: RAISING A TRANSGENDER CHILD tells the story of a family and how they gracefully managed the reality that their youngest child was transgender. The author and mother, Cheryl B. Evans, demonstrates loving concern for the well-being and happiness of her son Jordan, who was born in a female body. Evans is determined to provide Jordan with the best possible medical care, as well as give him the utmost love and support as he navigates through understanding his gender identity and undergoing transition. This book is more than one family’s journey through what most people would consider an unconventional circumstance; THIS IS A TESTAMENT OF TRUE LOVE in all of its unconditional forms. As a trans woman, I was moved by Evans choice to keep an open mind as she, too, navigates through Jordan’s self-discovery process and transition. As I read into the story, I related to Jordan’s personal experiences when it came to many of the key issues that trans people struggle with on a daily basis. But what was most refreshing and deeply moving, was the love and support that Evans demonstrated throughout the entire story. This book is a MUST-READ for any parent, because the underlying message is that loving your children unconditionally is key to their future happiness and emotional health. If I had to give this book an alternate tittle—not that it needs one—I would call it “Unconditionally Yours: A Story of Motherly Love”.
Peter Green More than 1 year ago
CALM CANADIAN MOM COUNSELS TRANSGENDER CHILD—AND THE REST OF US While we Americans seem stymied by the hate speech which divides our country, we might well pause, take a deep breath of cool, Canadian air and heed a cue on a contentious issue from our neighbors to the north. Confronted with a daughter who had felt and dressed like a boy from early childhood, preferred sports to dolls and who at 13, wished she were a boy, Cheryl Evans and her husband crisscross their country in search of experts who can help the family solve their dilemma. After much study, prayer and consultation with their child, they all agree that sex reassignment is the best way to proceed. The book resulting from their journey into the unknown serves as a fascinating history of how this well-intentioned family, not unlike yours or mine, faced this stark diagnosis and moreover serves as a manual for anyone confronted with a similar issue. The intelligent role played by school principals. medical professionals and even the government of Ontario province further sets an example for all of tolerance, behavior toward each other and public service we should all try to emulate. No one in this family, including their elder daughter, escapes doubt, emotional conflict and the fear of hateful judgment visited upon them by self-righteous critics acting in the name of God. Deeply religious herself, Evans read the entire Bible (it took her seven months) to see whether these pious people’s claims were really His word—and found much evidence to the contrary. She concludes that the key to understanding these sacred texts lies in their interpretation with wisdom and love. The proof of this approach still lies ahead, but their new son was able to enter high school in a nearby, different district as a new person, has never been happier nor more successful his studies and looks forward to his third and final sex-change surgery with brave anticipation. This book is well-drafted in a brisk. readable style and should be must reading, not only for those families with a transgender child, but for all of us, so we may understand, accept and relate to such individuals in a normal, friendly and healthy way. --Peter H. Green, Co-author of Radio: One Woman's Family in War and Pieces
READAHOLIC-ZONE1 More than 1 year ago
This is an engaging read written through the eyes of a loving mother with a transgender child. The prose reads like you are having a personal conversation with the author who being a greenhorn when it comes to writing did well with composing this book. The sole purpose of this book is to educate all people about what it is to be transgender. Therefore, is not exclusively intended for families with a transgender child, but for all people due to the importance of knowing what it means to be transgender in today’s society. The correct term is Gender Dysphoria where people identify with a gender different from the one they were assigned at birth due to genetics and the biological makeup of their brain. Transgender is not about being gay or straight. It is not a mental illness. They are not pedophiles just because they want to use the bathroom that matches their “gender identity”. The book does explain all aspects of what it is like to have Gender Dysphoria from how it affects them mentally, the physical alterations that have to take place, also the enormous effects on the family and how detrimental it is for the family to be supportive and understanding. “The most basic thing about transgender people is they truly believe they are the gender they identify with! Transgender women do not think of themselves as men wearing women’s clothing, they ARE women. Naturally, they should be in a woman’s washroom.” This is not the first book that I have read in regard to someone's journey transitioning from one sex to another, but it is the one I have learned the most from. I believe this is due to the fact that it is written from the viewpoint of a person who is standing back and watching it all occur whereas also involved. Therefore, everything the mother saw or went through with her child so does the reader. You are there when Jordan first goes to school as a boy, you are educated by the doctors at the same time the family is, learning about the importance of hormones, go through surgeries, and learn what a packer is along with his outstanding mother. In addition to, the obstacles that you do not think of like having to change the gender on passports, birth certificates, and driver's license. It is hard, but Cheryl gets it done. The word of God says love thy neighbor, it doesn’t say love thy neighbor except for the ones you do not like...It also says in the bible that God looks at one’s heart, not at one’s outward appearance. This is not just a book it is a learning experience. An important one for people of all ages. There is so much more I would like to mention about what I read, I could brag about this book for pages, though I think it is more important that you pick up a copy and read it for yourself.