From Bob Beckel, the popular co-host of "The Five" on Fox News Channel, a deeply moving, redemptive memoir about his life as a political operative and diplomat, his long struggle with alcohol and drugs, and his unlikely journey to finding faith.
Growing up poor in an abusive home, Bob Beckel learned to be a survivor: to avoid conflict, mask his feelings, and to lieall skills that served him well in Washington, where he would become the youngest-ever Deputy Assistant Secretary of State and manage Walter Mondale's 1984 presidential campaign.
But Beckel was living a double life. On January 20, 2001George W. Bush's first Inauguration Dayhe hit rock bottom, waking up in the psych ward. Written with captivating honesty, Beckel chronicles how his addictions nearly killed him until he found help in an unexpected ally, conservative Cal Thomas, who helped him find faith, get sober, and get his life back on track.
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About the Author
Bob Beckel rejoined FOX News Channel as co-host of "The Five" in January 2017. He worked for the U.S. State Department (1977-1980), where he served as the youngest Deputy Assistant Secretary of State for the Carter Administration. A graduate of Wagner College, Beckel served as national campaign manager for Walter Mondale's presidential campaign.
Table of Contents
Author's Note ix
January 20, 2001 5
Chapter 1 Surviving Childhood 9
Chapter 2 Fighting for the Came 29
Chapter 3 Capitol Cops and Whores 51
Chapter 4 Campaign Years 73
Chapter 5 In the White House 100
Chapter 6 Where's the Beef? 128
Chapter 7 TV Lights 155
Chapter 8 Crash and Burn 180
Chapter 9 Hitting Bottom 203
Chapter 10 CM 227
Chapter 11 The Five 254
Chapter 12 Beyond Surviving 277
What People are Saying About This
An inspiring, truthful, humorous, and insightful account of a survivor's quest to ascend in the world of politics, the campaign trail, Washington, and life. This is a must read for anyone who cares to understand the pain caused by early adversity and the influence it can have on the development of addiction. Bob Beckel delivers a truly captivating account of his life. --Peter Przekop, D.O., Ph.D., Director of Pain Management, Betty Ford Center; faculty member, Loma Linda University Medical School
I have known Bob Beckel for more than forty years. We have been steadfast friends through thick and thin. In a field where loyalty is a situational commodity, Bob's loyalty is a granite mountain. In a sphere where true honesty is rare and too often fleeting, Bob is among the most honest men I have ever known. I Should be Dead will make you laugh, it will make you cry, and every page will be a revelation--and absolutely true. I couldn't put it down; after knowing Bob four decades it was a stunning epiphany. --Patrick Caddell, Fox News contributor, Former Democratic Pollster and strategist
Bob Beckel's candor about his challenges doesn't surprise me. In our nearly thirty years of friendship, he has always been willing to tell it like it is, or at least as he sees it. We don't always see things the same, but I greatly respect him for fighting the demons of addiction and being willing to tell the story of those fights so openly. --Governor Haley Barbour
In this remarkable book, Bob Beckel reveals for the first time some of his failings, challenges and temptations, not to glorify them, but to give the reader a sense of the magnitude of the grace of God, who rescued Bob in his darkest hour. Thrilling and brutally honest, Bob's memoir will give you an entirely different sense of the man, beyond the silliness of the political world and media in which we both work and live. --Cal Thomas, Syndicated and USA Today columnist and Fox News contributor
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
I'm so grateful for Bob and his story. I purchased 2 copies of this book. One for our son who has struggled with addiction for 14+ years and one for myself to try and gain better insight for what it's like from my son's perspective. Not being an addict but living through it as the parent of an addict can be so disheartening. We have learned the hard way how little a difference resources or our love makes. It truly is in God's hands. Thank you Bob for your courage in sharing your story and your faith! May God continue to bless you and your family with peace!
I bought this book because I am in recovery. I knew nothing about Bob but his story was so thought provoking and I could not put my nook down. I could relate to his need to drink continually and his inability to stop. I loved his sharing the importance of A A and how it helped him. This book is so well written and is an easy read. It takes courage to share a story like this when you are a public figure.