I Wasn't Ready to Say Goodbye: A Companion Workbook for Surviving, Coping, and Healing after the Sudden Death of a Loved One

I Wasn't Ready to Say Goodbye: A Companion Workbook for Surviving, Coping, and Healing after the Sudden Death of a Loved One

by Brook Noel, Pamela D. Blair
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Overview

I Wasn't Ready to Say Goodbye: A Companion Workbook for Surviving, Coping, and Healing after the Sudden Death of a Loved One by Brook Noel, Pamela D. Blair

A workbook of healing and hope

Based on the bereavement classic I Wasn't Ready to Say Goodbye: Surviving, Coping, and Healing after the Sudden Death of a Loved One, this workbook offers step-by-step support and encouragement through the grief journey.

In the wake of sudden loss, the I Wasn't Ready to Say Goodbye Companion Workbook, written by two women who have experienced tragedy, acts as a warm touchstone to navigate the unique emotions and challenges of grief. Tapping their personal histories and drawing on numerous interviews, authors Brook Noel and Pamela D. Blair, PhD, explore unexpected death and its role in the cycle of life.

This edition also includes new material regarding the unique circumstance of loss, men and women's grieving styles, religion, faith and grief's unanswerable questions.

Called a "support group in your hands" by professionals and mourners alike, this companion workbook will comfort, uplift, and console. Exercises guide readers through the gap created by loss, anger, guilt, loss of purpose, and the unique challenges based on the relationship to the loved one. Using a combination of self exploration questions, visualization activities, and journaling, I Wasn't Ready to Say Goodbye Workbook shows grieving readers how to endure, survive, and grow from the pain and turmoil surrounding sudden loss. Combined with the classic I Wasn't Ready to Say Goodbye, this workbook truly places a support vehicle in the hands of those who are mourning. In tandem with the updated edition of the book, the second edition of the workbook reflects the fact that the face of grief has changed in the past 10 years.

Praise for I Wasn't Ready to Say Goodbye

"As one who deals with unexpected death, I am so pleased to find a truly valuable reference for those souls who are blindsided by such misery. This book is thoughtful, thorough, and intensely meaningful. Up until now Rabbi Kushner's reference When Bad Things Happen to Good People has been my mainstay in such circumstances; I will add this book to my recommended list."
-E. Charles Douville, MD, Cardiothoracic Surgeon, Providence, Portland
"The authors have captured a means of discussing and exploring a very painful life passage in real life, down to earth language and experience. Many thanks to Pam and Brook for their generosity in sharing their discoveries to further our healing."
-Charlotte A. Tomaino, PhD, Neuropsychologist
"This book, by women who have done their homework on grief, can hold a hand and comfort a soul through grief 's wilderness. Outstanding references of where to seek other help."
-George C. Kandle, Pastoral Psychologist

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781402212390
Publisher: Sourcebooks
Publication date: 05/01/2008
Edition description: Updated
Pages: 224
Sales rank: 420,930
Product dimensions: 6.90(w) x 8.90(h) x 0.70(d)

About the Author

Pamela D. Blair, PhD

Dr. Blair earned her PhD in philosophy and a masters in metaphysics from the American Institute of Holistic Theology. She has certificates in Integrative Therapy and Therapeutic Touch, has studied at the New England Educational Institute and the Transformational Training Institute, and has a divinity degree from the New Seminary in New York, NY. As a therapist, she is known for her innovative personal growth workshops and support groups.
In addition to I Wasn't Ready to Say Goodbye, she has authored The Next Fifty Years: A Guide for Women at Midlife and Beyond (Hampton Roads Publishing Co.). A frequently invited guest on television, cable, and radio talk shows, Dr. Blair has appeared on CBS TV and is a contributing editor to me* Magazine, GriefNet.com, and Divorce Magazine.

Visit her website at www.pamelablair.com

Brook Noel

Brook Noel is the author of nineteen books, specializing in life management, balance, and life transitions.

Known for going "beyond the book," Noel uses many means to interact with and support her readers. She delivers free motivational podcasts, online Q&A chats, message board interaction, in-person free "coffees" when she travels, and four free newsletters with over one hundred thousand total subscribers. Noel's interactive grief outreach program, GriefSteps? can be accessed at www.griefsteps.com "While some of my work deals with life's hardest blows, other work deals with the day-to-day stressors and challenges. My life experiences have taught me that today is what matters...
right here and right now. I am committed to helping others reap the gift of today."

Noel has appeared on hundreds of media outlets, including CNN Headline News, ABC World News, FOX Friends, Woman's World, Parent's Journal, Town & Country, New York Post, "Ask Heloise," and Bloomberg Radio . Her work has been recognized by the Midwest Independent Publisher Awards, the Best Book Awards, and the IPPY Awards.Noel was recognized in 2003 as one of the 40 Top Most
Influential Business People Under the Age of 40 by the Business Journal. She is a spokesperson for the Home Business Association and was chosen as one of ten entrepreneurs of the year.

Brook lives in Wisconsin with her husband, twelve-year-old daughter, one golden retriever, a black lab named "Kitty," and one very large cat named Tom.

Visit her website at www.brooknoel.com

Table of Contents

1 CHAPTER ONE: OUR STORIES
Pam's Story
Brook's Story
Sudden Loss Comes Again
9 CHAPTER TWO: THE FIRST FEW WEEKS
Treat Yourself as If You Were in Intensive Care
Your Immediate Needs
School and Work
A Checklist of Calls to Make
Who Needs to Be Notified
Call Log
Delivering a Eulogy
The Memorial Service
What to Expect: Physical and Emotional Changes
The Power of Friends
Understanding Our Support Needs
A Guide for Those Helping Others with Grief
28 CHAPTER THREE: DIFFICULT EMOTIONS
The "If Only" Mind Game
Anger
Screaming Exercise
Fear
Depression, or Is It Appropriate Sadness?
Loneliness
Calming Exercises
Multiple Grief
Grief Sessions
Coping with Guilt
Self-Check
45 CHAPTER FOUR: MAKING SENSE OF THE WORLD AROUND YOU
Loss of Purpose
When Faith is Shattered
What Do I Believe?
Writing a Prayer
Learning through Loss
What I've Learned Along the Way
What My Loved One Has Left Me
Redefining Ourselves
Thank You Exercise
Thank You Letter
Finding a Beginning, Middle, and End
67 CHAPTER FIVE: GRIEF BLOCKS
I Don't Want to Talk About It
Acknowledgement
Help, I'm Stuck on Instant Replay
Self-Judgment
I Feel So Guilty
Grief Myths
Hurtful Self-Talk
Reprogramming Self-Talk
79 CHAPTER SIX: HELPING CHILDREN COPE WITH GRIEF
Private Grieving
Unhealthy Anger
Sexual Activity in Older Children
Guilty Feelings
Physical Outbursts
The Need to Be Away From Home (in Older Children)
Suicidal Thoughts
Love and Support
General Guidelines for Helping Children
Tips for Older Children
86 CHAPTER SEVEN: SPECIAL OCCASIONS AND CHALLENGES
Birthdays
Anniversaries
Rituals
Ideas for Remembrance from the American Association of
Retired Persons
Holidays
Holiday Traditions
Where Does One Go During The Holidays?
96 CHAPTER EIGHT: THE LOSS OF A FRIEND
Reaching for the Phone-An Ongoing Dialogue
Close Ties
Sharing Your Memories
Internalizing Your Friend
Friend Support Group
Friends Support Group Invitation
Some Things You Can Do
104 CHAPTER NINE: THE LOSS OF A PARENT
Generation Shifts
Grief . . . and Relief?
Regrets
Words of Wisdom
Some Things You Can Do
111 CHAPTER TEN: THE LOSS OF A CHILD
Extreme Emotions
A Piece of Ourselves
Guilt
Losing an Adult Child
For Parents with Surviving Children
Your Relationship with Your Partner
Convey Your Needs
Guidelines for Grieving Couples
Guidelines for Single Parents
126 CHAPTER ELEVEN: THE LOSS OF A PARTNER
Loss of Identity
Incorporate Traits
Love Letters
If You Still Have Children in the Home
Some Things You Can Do
133 CHAPTER TWELVE: THE LOSS OF A SIBLING
Being Overlooked in the Grieving Process
Double the Loss
Role Reversal
Survival-Living
Don't Let the Gap Grow
Forgiving a Parent or Parents
When People Idealize Your Sibling
Hot and Cold Nature of Sibling Relationships
Identity through a Sibling
Words of Wisdom
Some Things You Can Do
150 CHAPTERTHIRTEEN: WHEN LOSS IS FROMSUICIDE
Common Reactions to Suicide
Questions and Suicide
Religion and Suicide
Singing Lessons
Some Things You Can Do
156 CHAPTER FOURTEEN: ADDITIONAL EXERCISES FOR YOUR JOURNEY
Internalizing Our Loved One
Contributions in the Name of Someone You Love
Helping Parents
Letter Writing Exercise
Other Ideas to Honor Someone Who Has Died
Memory Books
Online Memorials
Visualization
Asking Questions through Visualization
Important Things to Remember on the Pathway
165 CHAPTER FIFTEEN: WRITING THROUGH GRIEF. . . ALONE OR WITHIN A
SUPPORT GROUP
Journaling and Letter Writing
Devotions and Journaling
Poetry
The Gratitude Journal
Questions for a Support Group
175 CHAPTER SIXTEEN: RESOURCES AND SUPPORT
Support for Loss of a Partner
Support for Grieving Children
Support for the Loss of a Child
Support for Loss through Suicide
Internet Support for Siblings
General Bereavement Support
Other Recommended Books by Topic
BIBLIOGRAPHY
ABOUT THE AUTHORS

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I Wasn't Ready to Say Goodbye: A Companion Workbook for Surviving, Coping, and Healing after the Sudden Death of a Loved One 4.2 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 5 reviews.
Jeani More than 1 year ago
I bought this book after the sudden death of my husband nearly 8 years ago. It was actually one of the things that helped guide me through everything I was going through. It made me feel I was normal when all else said I was losing my mind. It helped me breathe. I have given this book to many and will continue too. I highly recommend it.
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