I'll Give You a Dollar If You Consider This Art: Stories, Poems, Comics, and Other Ponderables Ripped from the Diaries of Toddy Smith and Darren Nuzzo

I'll Give You a Dollar If You Consider This Art: Stories, Poems, Comics, and Other Ponderables Ripped from the Diaries of Toddy Smith and Darren Nuzzo

by Toddy Smith, Darren Nuzzo

Hardcover

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Overview

Limited First Edition Hardcover! A mechanic milks a cow, a recluse walks outside for the first time in three weeks, two teenagers watch tennis on mute, a grown man drinks a juice box in his underwear — all of these moments strike the artful balance between intellectual acuity and lighthearted absurdity, establishing Toddy Smith and Darren Nuzzo as the new literary voices to listen to, laugh with and follow.

At times it will feel like you’re scrolling through Twitter or two drinks in at a comedy club; other times it will feel like you’re at the public library or your local art gallery. You'll find characters you want to hug and ones you hope never to meet again. From light and humorous to sad and dark, the book captures the times we're living in now while paying respect to the works that came before.

Driven by the diary entries of best friends Toddy Smith and Darren Nuzzo, this book is the result of two old-souled writers creating art in the internet age, heavily rooted in literature, yet shaped by the 21st century.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781931290678
Publisher: Tallfellow Press
Publication date: 10/17/2019
Pages: 240
Sales rank: 338,961
Product dimensions: 6.10(w) x 9.10(h) x 1.00(d)

About the Author

Toddy Smith is a performer, writer and leading digital content creator (and member of the Vlog Squad) who has amassed a following of over 4 million adoring fans. Toddy uses his eccentric storytelling to share a glimpse into his and his friends' lives through vlogs and other comedic content across his social channels.

Toddy has a lifestyle clothing brand, Gothic Mochas, as well as ties to Calvin Klein and Smirnoff. He hopes to continue to use his platform to stop bullying while encouraging people not to take themselves too seriously, and to inspire fun. He lives in Southern California where he is most often found at his piano.

Darren Nuzzo is a writer and performer from Southern California. His fiction has been anthologized in literary journals and his birthday cards to mom have made it to the fridge. Darren built a cult social media following through his lengthy literary captions on Instagram. As a fitness guru, sustainability advocate, self-proclaimed wizard, and hippie at heart, Darren brings a unique outlook to his writing.

Read an Excerpt

Seven Hundred Miles North of Here

My seven o’clock appointment with heartbreak had become a family gathering. Everyone circled the scale in the restroom like it was a roulette wheel in the MGM. I stepped on and curled my toes toward the ground as if that might make me heavier. My family held their breath. Numbers spun into uncertainty. I awaited my evening anguish.

But on my eighth birthday, my number actually hit: 50. Right on the dot. Fifty pounds. My dad cheered the way he did when football came back to LA. My mom cheered the way she always had: small jumps, big claps. My brother thrusted two fists straight into the air and cursed in victory, using his third and final fuck ya! my dad allotted us every summer. My little sister’s cheer was soft and shy, not for a lack of love or support, rather she just wasn’t sure why any of this mattered; but she cheered anyway—like a poet trying to fit in at a Superbowl Party. And then she hugged my hip and said, “I knew you could do it,” because she could tell, for whatever reason, that it did matter. I breathed in the moment a second longer. I held on to 50. I stayed on my podium and listened to my family’s feet going down the stairs. They walked together, but I could hear them individually. I could hear my mom’s sandals slapping the wood, my dad’s slow and heavy feet taking small breaks at each step, my brother’s impatient feet stuck behind dad, and the thumps of my sister sliding down the stairs on her bottom. When the noises passed, I went to my bedroom; and I took four pounds of batteries out of my pockets.

Table of Contents

Drowning 3

Diary Entry #121 (Darren's) 8

Comic: Perfect Score 9

Growing Up Again 10

Reunited 12

Comic: The Only Fan at the Sold-out Show 13

Just How You Do So Many Things 14

Things That I'll Tell You 15

As Long As 16

Dedicated Scholar 18

I Guess the Orange Cat 19

Short-term Memory 21

Comic: Watching the End of the World by Myself Again 22

She's Great, Just Asleep 23

Comic: End of the World 32

Diary Entry #332 (Toddy's) 33

An Accomplished Man 35

Dear Pen Pal 36

Who Said It? 37

History History 38

Sixteen Weeks Russian 39

@writerboy67 41

Comic: Rapunzel: The Prequel 42

An Author and An Ex 43

Diary Entry #21 (Darren's) 45

Kafka Getting into Character 47

Is It Art*? 48

In the Garden my Grandmother Visits 49

Simpsons' Chalkboard Gag 51

An Encounter 52

Comic: Dog Rides a Rollercoaster 54

Poetry 55

Nowhere to Sleep in Scotland 56

Farewell, Honeymoon Phase 57

Everything was Packed 58

Diary Entry #559 (Darren's) 59

She Just Kept Running 61

A Talk with My Little Girl 65

An Unfortunate Oxymoron 66

His Heavy Arm Over Her Small Body 68

It's Different When It's The Moon 70

Comic: Nothing's Changed 71

Alive But Trapped 72

Drinking for the First Time 75

Diary Entry #401 (Toddy's) 76

Public Service Announcement 77

Shakespeare Sliding into Your DMs 78

Literary Party Games 79

A Bad Movie 80

Pythagoras: The One-Hit Wonder 81

Comic: The Inquisitive Pirate 82

Before the Bus Started to Move 83

Skinny Dipping 84

Comic: Nature (2019) 86

A Young Boy and a Girl Who Doesn't Need Him 87

Also, Joan of Arc had Club Feet 88

God's Spam Folder 89

Ostentatious Things I Say that Make Me Hate Myself 90

Another New Year 92

The Howl Inside 95

The Full Length of the Wall 96

A Look Through My Second Grade Yearbook 97

Comic: Bindle 99

Fake Facts that Feel Real 100

The Pillow We Fought For 101

Those Things that Need to be Talked About 103

Fourth Grade Stitchery Report: Project Joshville 104

Diary Entry #199 (Darren's) 107

Poets, Publishers, And Birds 108

They Speak in Threes 110

The Most Pretentious Man in the World 112

William Carlos Williams Isn't that Hungry 113

Comic: The Intellectual vs. Gary Larson 114

I Get By 115

Diary Entry #633 (Toddy's) 116

The Happiest You've Been 118

An Assortment of Things 125

In the Bathroom 126

Lint 127

Thesaurus 128

Diary Entry #500 (Darren's) 129

What Is Who Is 130

An idiot Wishes He Wasn't: 19 Across 131

Comic: Voices Down 132

I'll Give You a Dollar If You Tell Me I'm Smart (Word Play) 133

Instead of a Tombstone 134

Comic: Daylight Saving 137

Green is My Favourite Colour 138

Heads 139

So Then Lucas Finally Said All Right 140

Comic: Appreciate Me 141

Seven Hundred Miles North of Here 142

An Overview of an Unmemorable Week of Diary Entries 148

Google Scholar 149

Old Man 150

Food Fight 152

Facts: According to the Laws of Pervasive Slapstick Comedy 153

The MFA Student 154

A Smart Mother 155

Comic: Mechanic Milking a Cow 156

Thanksgiving 157

Amy 159

Some Stuff 162

Some More Stuff 163

An Artist Stuck in Room 301 164

Elizabeth Lizzy Beth 165

Comic: Contrived 170

Definitions and More Definitions 171

The Bachelor: Polygamy Addition 172

Comic: New Shirt? 173

Things that Can Be Seen From Space 174

Diary Entry #621 (Toddy's) 175

Diary Entry #622 (Toddy's) 177

I Asked You Three Questions 178

@__nitch 180

No One Wants to go Bowling 181

Higher Places 182

Diary Entry #801 (Toddy's) 183

Diary Entry #802 (Toddy's) 185

Comic: Man Deciding if He Wants to Lose His Money Systematically or All at Once 186

A Long Drive Home 187

First Day of School 188

I Wish It Hurt Like It Used To 189

Stories from The Beach/Stories from Home 190

Why Are the Writers So Sad? 193

Those Buggy Eyes 194

Juice Box 199

A Chicken in a Lemon Tree 200

The Most Important Thing 201

Lycidas 202

The One About the Girl Who Placed Last in the Spelling Bee 204

Pix 214

A Special Thanks 216

About the Authors 218

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