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I'll Tell You When You're Good!
The Memoir of America's Youngest College Quarterback
By David "Moon" Walker
AuthorHouse
Copyright © 2011 David "Moon" Walker
All right reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4634-0673-8
Chapter One
"252 Read"
I managed to play quarterback in 42 of 46 games during my college career and I make the following statements with complete authority, as well as wistful sorrow. There's no shame in telling you this is a most unpleasant task for which I have no enthusiasm. Still, it must be said because it was my experience. As was stated in the introduction, this ain't no rose garden or romance novel you're looking at and I can offer no apologies for its content. Play that funky music, white boy.
A single misguided thought and our resulting offensive futility cost Texas A&M not only a run at the national championship in 1974, but also eventual national championships in '75 and '76. Head football coach Emory Bellard forced upon us an error-prone offensive scheme that was bloody murder on any quarterback and totally ill-conceived for the increasing speed of the game which was swiftly arriving onto the scene in the Southwest Conference and the rest of college football. You may put that in your pipe and smoke it.
The offensive strategy of '74 entailed allowing two quick as hell defensive dudes, the End and the player inside him, to be left unblocked, and then required an unprotected quarterback staring down this double-barreled shotgun to react to each of their individual movements, in sequence, in a millisecond of time. It was called the triple option because it was comprised of three choices for the quarterback. He would (1) hand the ball off to the first guy, (2) run with it himself, or (3) pitch it to another guy. In the time it just took you to read his three choices which I just set before you, the play is already over. Pretty fast, right? The only thing you missed here were the violent collisions and maybe a little cussing under the breath.
'252 Read' was THE PLAY and in today's game would be considered utter lunacy. As triple option offenses go, this is not a play you run once in awhile but a good 75% of the time during a game. '252 Read' was the basis of our offensive playbook in 1974 and the ultimate downfall for all who played for Texas A&M during the entire era. Yes, that crazy old '252 Read' dropped out of the skies from out of nowhere and ripped our hearts smooth out. We memorized it but never mastered it, and the thought of it still makes me shudder. '252 Read' invaded us and conquered us, team by team and quarterback by quarterback, like the mutant virus that it was, even long after it had been eradicated. '252 Read' was the natural-born killer that was forcefully injected into our bloodstreams as if it were a lifesaving compound created from a veritable fountain of youth. It was the plague of plagues in the college football world for all our legions.
Coach Emory Bellard took all that was successful in '73 and turned it into all that was atrociously vile in 1974. Feeling systematically that any passing game was sub-standard in his Wishbone alignment due to having only one wide receiver, Bellard in his third season was compelled to install his first triple option version of the Wishbone for all his new Aggie friends to see. In his mind, the triple option would replace and suffice for the perceived shortcomings and apparent unavailability of a well-structured, consistent passing attack within this ground-oriented offense. The thrill of seeing a football flying through the air would thus be sacrificed in exchange for watching two guys trying to decide who was going to get to keep the football.
The birth of the triple option on Kyle Field's artificial turf was an ugly and pitiful sight to behold. It was agonizing and extremely painful to watch this monster being born. How do I know? I was there at its inception.
It was truly the cruelest of demons and would live only one short season, then be silently exorcised in a back room. I'd been around this man Bellard for a year and a half and I now realized this new absurdity was the final piece of his personal agenda in fulfilling his role as the sole creator of the Wishbone. I guess for some this would be something to take great pride in but for us, we just wanted to win. Perhaps initially nobody could blame Bellard for this act of strategic extremism, except for the indisputable fact that none of our quarterbacks could run the damn thing. I mean, none of us! Doesn't this usually count for something in the decision-making process?
And please let me emphasize, all my compadres at quarterback were fine people, great people, and were as dedicated to the game and our teams as anyone possibly could be. They worked their butts off for Texas A&M and their teammates. Please know when I refer to any of them it's only in a football playing sense. I had nothing but the utmost respect and admiration for them as individuals and leaders, and all they were trying to accomplish. They were excellent competitors on every level.
'252 Read' was much more imposing than any defense could ever imagine itself to be. Most coaches take mental notes when players have such obvious limitations or allergic reactions to a particular system, but Bellard forged ahead anyway, stubborn as always, hell-bent on his triple option succeeding in life and getting all the credit. Emory was the General and Generals are to be followed. We tried like hell to do so, too, but it wasn't to be. Not for any of us.
Yes, somehow on a beautiful springtime day Bellard convinced himself that David Walker could operate all facets of '252 Read' after introducing this particular atrocity to me in slow motion during the off-season. After two or three feeble attempts at it, he said I took to it "like bees on honey" and then triumphantly walked away, all aglow with himself. I just shook my head in disbelief. You gotta be trippin', Emory. Me? Triple option? What the hell's in that pipe you're smoking? Maybe Emory had it all confused with 'stink on shit', but I sure didn't.
I was nothing less than petrified at the prospects of running this offense in front of huge crowds under the lights. For the first time in my quarterbacking life, I was intimidated. Playing quarterback had been a hell of a lot of fun my freshman year in college and the position was difficult enough without installing this foreign bullshit he now expected me to run against the fastest, strongest human beings I'd ever seen on the planet. I was a complete novice and totally unskilled, as was everyone else lining up under Center later that spring.
After all, before I'd ever signed with A&M I had told Bellard, "I'll come as long as there's no triple option. It's not for me." Had I known he would go ahead and put it in I never would have stepped foot on the A&M campus. I mean, I was thinkin' we had us a deal. I hadn't run much option in high school, heck, I may have run an option play maybe five times in real games in my whole career, and I darned sure wanted no part of any triple option. Running the triple option was my worst nightmare. Hell, I already knew my limitations.
I was a classic drop back passer like the ones you watch in the NFL, a guy who could also run the sprintout and bootleg passing games very well. Both had run-pass options and these were the times I would get my running opportunities in high school games. We didn't run the option as a rule and if we did, it was only a lead option where I would just run down the line and pitch quickly off the defensive end. Rarely did I keep the ball and cut up-field because our option plays weren't designed for this. For us, in our way of thinking, the option was a safe and easy way to get the ball into our halfback's hands without having to block the defensive end. It was quick simple stuff that just about any quarterback alive could handle.
I just wanted to be clear with Emory before I signed any scholarship agreement with Texas A&M University that I didn't want to jack with a "handoff read" on the option. Please General Custer; I don't wanna go be a major laughingstock in some foreign stadium on national TV. Comprende, Boss Man? Heck, I had good reason. We had looked at reading the handoff one day in high school and our coaches immediately dropped the idea. My being pretty horrible at it could have been the turning point. I still remember my head coach saying, "Sheeit, Walkuh. That's what the hell I thought." Yes, it was a great day, watching that crap going down the drain.
I told Bellard I was totally confident I could handle running the Wishbone options in their current form, you know, the ones he drew up for me he'd run in '72. Those were no more than lead options with a fake to a fullback first. No triple option? All I gotta do is just keep or pitch? Sheeit, piece o' cake, my man! Where do I sign? Little did I know Bellard didn't appreciate my French or my candor regarding the triple option, but I wouldn't find this out until much later.
I was emphatic, though. No triple option for this Cajun-born prima donna who'd played for the pass-happy Golden Tornadoes. No way was I breaking my deal with LSU to go run some crapshoot in Texas at a place I'd barely heard of. Hell, running any option was stretching it in my book, but I wanted to start at quarterback right out of high school at a major university so certain concessions had to be made, right? Heck, our New Orleans Saints weren't allowed to sign me so I had to go to some college to play football. I even wore Archie Manning's Number 8 when I got there because my 10 wasn't available. That's right, who dat? Of course, as in many other aspects which I'd discover upon my arrival in Texas, the Cowboys and the Oilers overshadowed the 'Aints by a long shot. My Saints had no bragging rights yet.
Anyway, when a kid is making the most important decision of his or her life, college coaches should be straight with them. I'm saying right here and now there should be a contract or something so coaches can't bullshit our kids into buying their spiel. This way there's no 'hey, shit happens' defense for them down the road.
Children, please listen to an old pro on this. Your worst fault is gullibility at this point in your life and if you lose the gullibility, you'll actually have a better shot in this game. Making a decision on where you're going to college sets you on a path you'll walk straight into eternity. You can look back once in awhile, but there ain't no turning back. Be skeptical as hell and don't worry about whose feelings get hurt. You get one roll of the dice. Do a ton of research and find out who really wants you for all the right reasons, because you don't want to go somewhere to simply be window dressing or to one day find yourself in someone's test tube being held over a laboratory burner. Regardless of your chemical and physical properties, the heat can get pretty darn astounding. Not that you can't record it all now on your iphones, you lucky dogs.
When Bellard threw his '252 Read' into the mix at A&M, fumbles and indecision were all we knew both in practice and in the games. I was the one leading the assault and quickly my self-image of David Walker no longer fit the mold. I turned into horseshit almost overnight. Just like one little skin cancer can take you down, this one little play destroyed me as the doctors looked on. I couldn't execute it. It was confusing, dumbfounding and too danged fast, and it almost ruined me. Almost. Bellard always said we kept shooting ourselves in the foot. Really? Here, take the gun.
'252 Read' and its variations constituted a totally different offensive package than the one I had so much success with in '73 when I was voted by the coaches the Southwest Conference Freshman of the Year. The crazy thing is, I was the only quarterback who was forced to run the triple option in Bellard's first four years at A&M, and the only one who had any longterm success with it during his entire 6 ½ year tenure. I had to ask, "Why me, hoss? Is nobody else stepping up to the plate?"
Sheeit, Walkuh, I'm just getting' started.
Now for a little mental visualization while you play quarterback in your mind's eye. Here's the picture. Just imagine two monstrous, fully uniformed bad-asses from the hood standing roughly two yards to your right, with smoke coming out of their nostrils and each digging in like bulls in a Mexican bullfight, both glaring angrily at you. You are the target. You still with me? Now remind yourself that nobody is blocking either one of them. They are completely free to do anything the rules of the game will allow ... or not. As you put your hands under your Center to get the football, you hear them each growling mother this and mother that as they get into their stances. Then when you get the ball in your hands, the guy on the inside closest to you is exploding in at both you and the guy you have behind you, your fullback. Now you've got to decide whether your guy gets the football or not, primarily based on the impending smashing of mouths.
Are we good so far?
Now their other guy, the defensive end, he is also your responsibility for the potential pitchout to your halfback. He is coming at your throat before you even have time to get your eyes up on him or fully get the ball out of your fullback's tummy, should you need to. Sometimes this play even ends up with the football lying on the ground somewhere with everyone scrambling to get on top of it, trying to be a hero.
These two defensive guys make it happen awfully fast, and each week you have four different athletes to beat out there. You'll look each one of them in the eyes all game long. They act and you react. All game long. They're neither dumb nor slow, and you're their bull's eye, and there's no one blocking either one of them, regardless of which side you go. It's your job to make sure they tackle everyone but the guy with the ball.
Wanna play triple option quarterback with a national championship riding on your every move? Just sign this little dotted line here then, Bubba. We'll get you on track in no time. All you'll need is a little practice and a little confidence. No pressure. You might first want to buckle up that chinstrap though, and make sure your mouthpiece is in. We wouldn't want to see you getting any front teeth broken or your little ass kicked.
To his credit and after losing an all-time school record 31 fumbles in 1974 and going in reverse in both yardage and scoring, Bellard safely reverted back to our much simpler and easier '73 version of the playbook for the following season. He may have been realizing the game wasn't being played with 1960's athletes anymore (no offense intended) and UT's James Street was nowhere to be found on our particular campus. In fact, this was also the identical playbook being used by Texas, Oklahoma and Alabama during some of their glory years. None of their game plans included '252 Read' and these three teams all had pretty good offenses in the Seventies. I even recall them winning some national championships here and there. They kept things simple, found ways to throw the ball around some and thrived with the formation.
Hey, I knew what these other schools were doing offensively because I was wishing we were them as I watched them kicking ass on TV. My gosh, how I loved watching Oklahoma tear folks apart with the Wishbone formation, just as we thought we were going to do before all the sabotaging from the ivory tower began taking place. Those guys kept it simple and let their athletes play unencumbered, like synchronized lightning strikes unleashed at any given moment from sideline to sideline. As we were in '73, they were just a hell of a lot of fun to watch, as was the 'Bama 'Bone during the Bryant years.
There would be no joy in Aggieville, however. No, we turned down all invitations for national championships because there was more devotion to our scheme than to our players. This stance would take precedence over all of our abilities.
(Continues...)
Excerpted from I'll Tell You When You're Good! by David "Moon" Walker Copyright © 2011 by David "Moon" Walker. Excerpted by permission of AuthorHouse. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
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