WARNING: THIS BOOK WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE FOREVER!
If you have wished that life came with an instruction manual; this is it.
No matter what hardships you're facing, you'll learn that happiness and fulfillment are well within your reach-it's all about how you process and react to those experiences Joelle calls potholes in the road of life.
Joelle Lewis, who has overcome many such potholes including depression, serious accidents, debilitating illness, relationship disasters, financial ruin & life as a single working parent; has learned life's lessons the hard way, and she shares how to recognize those potholes, climb out of them, and avoid them in the future.
Learn how to:
• raise your awareness by changing your perception;
• move beyond limitations to fully live your life;
• understand how to control your thoughts & emotions;
• keep moving onward and upward.
Just as important, you'll learn how to let go of the past so you can fully embrace the future. The key to a more rewarding, fulfilling, successful & happier life is in the way you handle life's challenges. Don't you wish Life came with an Instruction Manual?
It starts with I'm going to give myself some very good advice... and then I'm going to take it!
|Publisher:||Balboa Press Australia|
|Product dimensions:||5.50(w) x 8.50(h) x 0.15(d)|
Read an Excerpt
I'm Going to Give Myself Some Very Good Advice ... and then I'm Going to Take It!
Real-Aid not Band-Aid for When You've Hit the Potholes in the Road of Life
By Joelle Lewis
Balboa PressCopyright © 2015 Joelle Lewis
All rights reserved.
Are You Alone or Lonely?
"Alone" does not always mean "lonely."
Certainly, we need the social contact of
friends and family, but ultimately, there
are times when we need to be alone.
How much you enjoy being with yourself is
a measure of how much you like yourself. It's
a reflection of how much you can depend on
yourself to provide for your basic needs.
Get to know and like you.
People who like being with you like the different
aspects of you, but only you will ever know
all of you.
Use this precious time alone
to get to know yourself.
What are your hidden talents?
Are there skills you want to learn?
Which interests would you like to pursue?
You are totally unique and unrepeatable.
You are the only you there will ever be.
Look After Your Health
Eat at least one nourishing meal per day,
If you feel the need to eat more,
try raw celery and carrots.
Nurture yourself in healthy, life-affirming ways.
Trade massages and facials with a friend.
Walk in the park.
Feel the grass under your feet.
Take plenty of vitamins B and C.
St. John's wort may help alleviate
any feelings of deep despair.
Try Bach flower remedies
(available from your health-
food store or naturopath).
Rescue Remedy, Walnut, Agrimony, Mustard,
and Gorse will give you a good starting point.
Valerian tea is calming.
Fresh air and sunshine will lift your spirits.
Practice Right Relations with Yourself
You probably treat others with kindness,
consideration, respect, and caring.
But how do you treat yourself?
Are you your best friend or your worst enemy?
Are you able to meet your own needs,
or do you expect someone else to do it for you?
We need to be able to rely on ourselves first
and others second.
Practice meeting your own needs each day.
Give yourself the love, nurturing, and
understanding you need.
You know your needs better than anyone else.
Anything that comes from others is then a
bonus, not a potential basis for disappointment
when they are unable or unwilling to deliver.
Put a Stop-Loss Order on Your Situation
If something is a problem, leave it behind,
don't wait for it to leave you.
Whatever is the cause of your despair—job,
relationship, or situation—
act in your own best interests ... and leave.
Never put another's interests above your own.
Many of us have been conditioned to put
everyone else first.
Realise that this makes you the sacrificial lamb.
We all have an equal right to be here.
We all have the right to follow our
own path and our own desires.
You are no less worthy of happiness or fulfilment
than anyone else.
Your happiness is important too.
We all deserve to be happy.
Practice Letting Go
"Letting go of blame"
doesn't mean that what was done to us
It means that you choose
not to waste any more of your precious life
Our negative feelings—resentment, grief,
anger, or grudges—hurt only ourselves,
not the other person. These feelings rob us
further of our joy and can do more damage
than the original act against us did.
Practice letting these feelings go, if only for a
few minutes. Instead of hurting yourself like
this, do something that helps you heal and live
with joy and pride again. Spend some time in
the garden, tidy your home, take your dog for
a walk, or just go outside and breathe in life.
We don't have to be the loser.
It has been said that "living well is the best
revenge." Prove to yourself and others that
you are stronger than whatever hurt you.
Be peaceful, healthy, and successful,
despite it all.
(That'll really piss them off!)
Take an Inventory
On a sheet of paper, create three columns:
What Is Lost
What Has Been Gained
At first, you will have more in the "What Is Lost"
Then, count your blessings in the "What Remains"
Finally, as your healing process continues and
your focus shifts, you will find plenty of things
to write in your "What Has Been Gained"
column, such as "stronger sense of self" or
"opportunities to do what I want with my life."
On another sheet of paper, take an inventory
of situations that caused you pain.
Create two columns:
Pros and Cons
Write down all the things you will do or would
like done differently the next time.
Talk yourself out of being stuck on it.
You'll be stronger, wiser, and more confident
when you lbecome aware of how to
learn from your mistakes and experiences,
instead of dwelling on them.
See the Experience as a Stepping Stone to Something Betterto Something Better
Nothing happens without a reason.
Every experience holds a reward, a chastisement,
or a lesson. Be honest with yourself about who
and what you are. Be candid with yourself when
considering your actions, motivations, and
intentions. Set high goals for yourself. Envision
being the best you can be—and then pursue it.
Learn who you are.
Embrace who you will be.
It's natural to feel that what you experienced was
unfair and undeserved. But imagine how much
stronger you will be when you see it as a chance
Be a winner anyway!
Every life is a journey
of learning and growth
on the path to self-fulfilment.
Keep moving. Onwards and upwards!
Releasing the Past
Allow yourself time for grieving and healing.
The process cannot be ignored,
or the pain will be with you always.
The essence of goodness always remains
and lives on. This is never lost to you.
Take the good, release the rest,
and move on forward to a better future.
Nothing can be gained by dwelling on the past.
Do you really want to lose the present
and future as well?
Nature reminds us of the larger picture.
No matter what happens in a natural disaster,
nature finds a way to bounce back, stronger and
more beautiful than before.
Nature just picks herself up again
and keeps going.
Often what is lost was dead wood anyway;
the new growth is far better for the pruning.
Find Someone or Something to Love
Fall in love.
It doesn't matter what makes your heart sing—a
person, a pet, a plant, or a worthy cause.
Falling in love is good for you, body and soul.
Being in love inspires your body to stop
releasing depression chemicals and
start producing love chemicals.
Be sensible in your choice.
If your pain was caused by a relationship,
don't rush into another one hastily.
Choose a different path from the one on which you
were hurt, or you risk being hurt again.
A pet will love you unconditionally while
If you're unable to give much right now, a plant
doesn't need much from you, but will reward you
with a burst of happy green growth and oxygen.
Try visiting children in hospitals.
Consider just doing good deeds for others.
Giving is an important part
of the healing process.
The more choices you can make for yourself,
the more you can truly call your life your own.
The less vulnerable you are, the less
you will be affected by others.
Earn your own income, buy your own things,
love your own friends, and have a life you
enjoy—without being dependent on another
to provide it for you.
Develop your skills, take up a hobby,
explore your interests, or join a club. Do
whatever will inspire you to create your
own independent, happy, and joyful life.
Accept help when you need it, but remember to
always maintain control of your own life,
or it ceases to be yours.
Make positive and life-affirming choices.
Uphold your values. Be an individual!
If you value fidelity
and all your friends are having
affairs, get new friends.
If you friends force you to be "just like them,"
get new friends.
If your friends expect you to do something
that makes you uncomfortable
or puts you in danger;
ask yourself if they are really friends.
Would you harm yourself to please another?
Of course not!
If you feel you have to change to fit in,
get out! Find people with whom you
are naturally compatible. You could
try joining a class or forming a club to
meet people with similar interests.
Find your crowd and follow your path.
Choose carefully the company you keep.
True friends are supportive, nurturing, and
encouraging. They accept you as you are.
They help you be the best you can be.
There is mutual trust and regard.
When you have friends like these, cherish them.
A true friend will also critique you, show you
your flaws and shortcomings, and help you
overcome them. The advice they give is in your
best interests. True friends have no hidden
agendas. You can trust them to give advice
which is in your best interests, not theirs.
is found with those of like mind and spirit.
is when we know we are all in it together.
The Best Teams Are Made Up of Individuals
Healthy partnerships are independent ones.
Each partner should be able to function alone.
Being together is a choice, not a necessity.
It is easy to fall into roles where each
person makes a specific contribution,
dependent on another to provide the rest.
But it's better when each partner can also change
roles with the other. In this way,
each becomes whole.
A good partnership
is an equal, mutually respectful one.
Develop a healthy assertiveness.
Embrace an attitude of cooperation.
Stand up for yourself.
Stand up for others.
We are all different, yet we are all the same.
There are differences of gender, age, nationality,
culture, experience, upbringing, and lifestyle.
Yet we are all God's children, born of woman.
Cherish your own beliefs and causes,
but accept that others may be different.
Often discord and disharmony
are the results of intolerance, nothing more.
Try to see things from a different perspective.
Imagine that you are part of a group of
people walking around a table, observing
a beautiful display of fruit. You may see a
beautiful peach, another an apple, and a
third, bananas. It's the same experience from
different perspectives, each valid but different.
The One above, however, sees all the fruit.
Find a Safety Valve
When our natural impulses inspire us to go
overboard, we need a safe outlet for the excess.
Bottling up negative emotions and feelings of
rage and hate only creates disease within us.
But expressing these feelings can also result in
trouble for us—so what do we do with them?
Learn how to redirect the excess steam in
your internal boiler through a safety valve.
This allows you to release that dangerous
pressure before it can hurt you or others.
Pick a demanding physical activity,
like moving your furniture, playing sports,
or chopping wood to drain off the excess.
We can choose to achieve
better control of ourselves.
We can choose
to express our energies safely
in the best interests of all.
Find Peace and Regenerate
Time out is a must!
We often forget our spirituality
in a fast-paced and competitive world.
Make time to be with yourself and with nature.
Refresh your soul in whatever way feels
right to you. Walk in the forest, lay on the
grass, smell the flowers, listen to the birds,
swim in the water, or dance in the rain.
Do whatever feeds your soul.
In order to see your problems clearly,
you must create distance from them. You need
distance to get things in proper perspective.
Use the time to reflect on what is important
so you can see the bigger picture
and return to your life
Choose to Regain Your Power
Choice is power.
Own your choices.
If you find yourself immobilised, accept it.
Tell yourself you have made the decision
to do nothing, and then act on it.
Whatever you are feeling or doing,
it is your choice. Given that, you can change your
mind anytime you like.
You can choose
to do, feel, or be something
Choose your higher self, your best self,
and the result will be a better life.
Look carefully at your choices
in every area of your life.
Consciously review them
to see if they are still working
for your best interests.
you are free to make new choices
anytime you like.
You Are Not Your Behaviour
How many of us define ourselves
(and others) by their behaviour?
We are not "bad"
because we have done bad,
any more than we are "good"
because we have done good.
We are all both good and bad.
While we may express ourselves
through our behaviour,
we are also free to learn a different behaviour to
express the same impulse, emotion, or feeling.
There are always alternative behaviours.
Learning to choose the one
that is in the best interests of all
is ultimately the path to maturity.
You are part of the "all."
The behaviour you express
in the best interests of all
is also in your best interest.
Think and Feel
Sometimes we think.
Sometimes we feel.
In order to achieve our fulfilment in life,
we need to think and feel
in equal measure.
When it's time to make a decision,
take the time to really think about the facts
and how you feel about your choices.
If your whole mind/body is in accord,
then go for it.
Trust your intuition!
You'll know when something isn't right for you.
If it doesn't feel right, it isn't right
Your intuition and your intellect working
together will give you the total picture.
Give equal respect
to what you think and what you feel.
Together, they will help you
make the best decision.
Look Forward to the Future
No one knows what the future holds.
Let your curiosity pull you towards it.
The most fabulous times of your life
could be just around the corner.
Think of your future as a pile of Lego bricks.
You can make whatever you like!
When you're ready for a change,
knock it down and build something new.
Life is what you make of it. Since you're here
anyway, why not give it your best shot?
What do you really want?
Who do you want to be?
Where do you want to be?
The answers to these questions will lead
you anywhere you want to go.
All you have to do is take the first step.
Excerpted from I'm Going to Give Myself Some Very Good Advice ... and then I'm Going to Take It! by Joelle Lewis. Copyright © 2015 Joelle Lewis. Excerpted by permission of Balboa Press.
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