I'm Not Afraid to Die but I'm Not Done Living: 5 Essential Keys to Jumpstart Your Path to Healing

I'm Not Afraid to Die but I'm Not Done Living: 5 Essential Keys to Jumpstart Your Path to Healing

by Laura Weintraub


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Nobody goes through a life crisis without a story to tell, wisdom to share and a message to give

?If you or someone you love is facing a life crisis, this book is a must read. It has landed in your hands at the perfect time? ?Keith Leon, Multiple Best Selling Author & Book Publisher

In this truly inspirational memoir, Laura Weintraub chronicles her journey?from dealing with a catastrophic event to fighting for her own life when faced with a life-threatening diagnosis just days after her mother dies in her arms.

Through her ability to connect with the angelic realm, she was able to recover

quickly and embark on the path to healing. This book chronicles that journey, the profound spiritual wisdom she acquired and the spiritual tools and practices she used to save her life!

In this book you will learn:

* Five keys needed to jump-start the path to your healing

* A simple meditation to help you connect with your angels

* How to identify and connect with ?The Real You?

* Affirmations to support your healing process

* How to create a mantra that will change your life

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781452515434
Publisher: Balboa Press
Publication date: 10/10/2014
Pages: 114
Product dimensions: 5.50(w) x 8.50(h) x 0.27(d)

Read an Excerpt

I'm Not Afraid to Die but I'm Not Done Living

5 Essential Keys to Jumpstart Your Path to Healing

By Laura Weintraub

Balboa Press

Copyright © 2014 Laura Weintraub
All rights reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4525-1543-4


When It All Began

It was Monday, July 16, 2007, and I was preparing to spend the night at my parents' house to be with my mom because my dad was in the hospital recovering from double knee surgery. My sister and I agreed to stay there on alternate nights until my dad was able to come home.

In fact, that Monday she insisted that my sister and I didn't need to come over and stay with her, because she felt quite assured that she could take care of herself. I knew that she could too, but I also knew that it would make my dad feel better so he wouldn't worry.

I did my usual Monday to-dos and headed out to go spend the rest of the evening with my mom. With a few exceptions throughout their fifty years of marriage, Mom had never really spent a night alone without my dad since the time he was in the navy. During their first year of marriage, she lived in the apartment alone while he was in the service, and they wrote to each other often until he was finally able to come home.

My mom and dad were like the poster children of the perfect couple. They had strong morals and values, and when it came to marriage, divorce was never an option. So they always found a way to deal with their differences no matter how difficult life could be. But things were never the same after my brother, Larry, died in 1990. When he left, he took a part of my mom too. I don't think that a mother ever gets over the loss of a child; she just learns to live with it.

Larry was only thirty-three when he passed—the same age as Jesus. Sometimes you would think Larry was a saint. Everybody loved him! He was always smiling with a twinkle in his eye as if he knew something more about life than we did. While growing up, I was the popular one and he was the quiet one. In fact, I was always up to something where I could be in the spotlight. On the other hand, my brother was always on the sidelines holding the high watch.

We had the typical sibling differences: I was the little sister who was a pain in the neck and he had to run me around everywhere. But there was one thing for sure; I never let anyone mess with my brother. I remember when we were kids, the neighborhood bully was trying to take Larry's little red car away—you know, the kind where you pushed the pedals as fast as you could to get it going. The bully was pulling on one end and my brother was holding steadfast on the other while screaming at the top of his lungs. When I saw what was happening, I lunged at that bully with all my might until he ran home crying.

I'll never forget when we were in high school, I was Miss Popularity whether it was class president, cheerleading or joining a club and he was the opposite. In fact, hardly anyone knew we were siblings. He was on the football team for four years and spent most of his time on the bench. I used to wonder why he would try out every year if he wasn't going to get to play. Little did I know what his real purpose was?

It was during his senior year when one day I got a call from the football coach. He wanted me to make sure that my parents attended the football banquet that year. When I told my parents, their reaction was, "Why should we go to the football banquet? Larry's not going to get anything." I insisted that they go as I was told he was going to get some kind of award. They hesitated but I managed to convince them to go.

So we all attended that evening. Unbeknownst to us, a special award had been created just for my brother, and it was being presented for the first time. You see, all those years he sat on the bench, he wasn't really just sitting, he was actually entertaining the athletes, telling jokes, making the players laugh, and keeping their spirits high during the game! The whole team voted to create a special award called "The Most Inspirational Player," which was just for him!

We were all so proud that Larry had made such an impact on the team. It was truly a special night! He taught me a big lesson about service. I learned that when you know your gifts, you deliver them no matter what the circumstances are. His gift was to inspire and make people happy.

One day, during Larry's adult years, my mother brought it to my attention that he had a rather large bump the size of a golf ball at the front of his head. I immediately called a doctor friend of mine who admitted him to the hospital for testing. It turned out that he had a very large AV malformation that was cutting off the blood supply to his brain.

He survived a sixteen-hour surgery and slowly endured the journey to recovery. His courage, strength and his smile will always be an inspiration to me. No matter what he was going through, he would never complain. When I visited him many times in the hospital during his recovery, he always wanted to know more about me and how I was doing. He never allowed me to bring attention to what he was going through. Instead he talked about what he was going to do once he got back on his feet again. Larry held steadfast to his vision and the end result so he could get through the challenges he would face.

My brother taught me that no matter what you're going through or how difficult the challenge may be, focus your attention on what you're going to do with your life, keep smiling, and make peace with your surroundings. Soon you'll get back to living your life again.


When the Rug Got Pulled from under My Feet

I was looking forward to spending quality time with my mom and I wasn't too worried about work and such. I just knew that this time was special and I was committed to not let anything get in the way. Everything was going well following my dad's knee surgery and he was recovering quickly. My sister and I took turns going to hospital with our mom to visit him, and we enjoyed spending quality time with both of them.

Luckily, my dad was transferred to a nearby community hospital so he could finish his recovery and start therapy to get back on his feet again. His recovery was going well and he couldn't wait to go home, so he worked real hard to expedite the process.

In the meantime, however, my sister and I noticed that our mom's health seemed to have taken a turn for the worse. She was a survivor of adult acute leukemia and had been in remission for five years, but she also suffered from a different condition called myelodysplastic syndrome, which required that she get platelets every five to six weeks to keep her blood from thickening. There was no real cure for this condition so she just did the best she could to cope with it, however, it definitely compromised her quality of life.

So on this particular Monday when I arrived to switch shifts with my sister, she looked like she hadn't had an ounce of sleep. She was really worried about Mom and said she had been up all night. Apparently, our mom was having difficulty breathing as it was time for her to get platelets. She had an appointment the next morning, so I assured my sister that I would get Mom there on time and that she should go home and get some sleep. That evening, Mom's condition got worse so I called her doctor to see if he could stop by and check on her. Fortunately, he lived right across the street!

Let me back up here about five years. When my mom was diagnosed with adult acute leukemia she had to undergo aggressive chemotherapy. On the day that she was supposed to start treatment, my dad had just dropped her off at the treatment facility at the nearby community hospital. That afternoon as he was pulling into his driveway, he saw the neighbor across the street. My dad knew he was a doctor but didn't know what kind.

Dad asked about his wife, as he knew she had just gone into labor with their first child. When the neighbor asked my dad how things were going for him, my dad told him what was going on with my mom. Then he told my dad that he was an oncologist and that my mom needed to be in better facilities to undergo her treatment. He took immediate action to get my mom transferred into a facility where she could get the best care possible, all while his wife was in labor giving birth to their first child.

It was so amazing how he just stepped in to help my parents as if they were his own. To this day, they are like family and we're so blessed that they are a part of our lives. When you trust in God, God always sends you exactly what you need right when you need it.

So that evening, the neighbor, who was now my moms oncologist, stopped by to check on her. He assured me that as soon as she got her platelets, she would feel better. Since he lived across the street, I knew I could call on him if I needed to. At the same time, however, he had some unfortunate news. Mom recently had some tests done, and it turned out that she was going to need more chemotherapy. We couldn't imagine her having to go through that again. My sister even revealed to me that a few days prior, my mom had expressed to her that when God decided that this was all over, she hoped that he would take her "swift and fast."

That night was one of the longest nights of my life because Mom hardly slept. The next morning I quickly got her ready, and we headed to the hospital, which coincidently happened to be the same hospital where my dad was recovering. We had planned to have lunch with my dad after she got her platelets and spend some time together. Luckily, when we arrived her doctor was also just arriving to do his rounds. He had the staff get her checked in right away, and we headed for the treatment room.

As I was helping her get in the bed, all of a sudden she felt limp and weak. I didn't know what was going on, but a nurse saw what was happening and immediately called a "code blue." I had no idea that her heart had gone into cardiac arrest while she was in my arms.

The staff immediately started emergency procedures to revive her, but it was too late, and she ended up on life support. Sadly, we had to go get my dad who was on the fourth floor waiting for us to go have lunch. It was absolutely unbearable at the thought of having to tell him what had just happened. Needless to say, we were all devastated.

Since she and my dad had an advanced directive, they both agreed neither one of them ever wanted their life to be sustained by life support, so we had to let her go. She managed to breathe on her own until my sister got back to the hospital, and we all got to be with her until she took her last breath.

I prayed and through my training and ability to connect with the angelic realm, I summoned Archangel Michael to come and pave the path to the light. As soon as I felt his presence with his band of angels, I held her in my arms and whispered in her ear that Archangel Michael was present and it was safe for her to cross over. When she heard those words, she took her last breath, and I knew she was free and it was safe for her to move on and continue her journey in the afterlife.

What we all came to realize is that she had an exit plan all along, starting with having my dad go through knee surgery. She kept telling him that she wanted him to have the surgery so he could improve the quality of his life. She finally convinced him to do it. In the meantime, she had had enough of her own health issues, but she couldn't make her transition with my dad around so she figured another way out.

I remember dreaming about her shortly after she passed, where we met in a room and she looked beautiful, healthy, and happy. In fact she felt so real, I kept touching her leg and could feel her flesh. I asked her, "Mom, what are you doing here?"

She replied in a very matter-of-fact manner and said, "What do you mean?"

I said, "Well ... ummm ... you died."

She replied, "Don't be silly. I didn't die; I was just done with that life!"

I knew it was her because anytime she was feeling good, she would be very straightforward. I woke up immediately and knew that this was the truth, that life is eternal and that we continue to live our lives with or without our bodies. Our bodies are simply vessels for our spirits to grow and express our God-given talents so we can evolve. This concept can truly be beyond human understanding, yet I'm convinced that it's true. Besides, when you've had a visit from the other side, you never quite see life from the same perspective again.

A week passed and my dad, sister, and I were knee-deep planning the services for my mom. I was under a lot of stress and experiencing an unusual amount of itching. I thought that my allergies were acting up or my body was reacting to the stress. So I decided to go to the doctor to get some medication to relieve the itching.

After a few routine tests including a urine sample, they found that my bile level was above normal. The doctor scheduled an ultrasound the next day, and that was when the rug got pulled from under my feet. It turned out that the itching was caused by a very large cystic tumor that was pushing against my organs, including my bile ducts, causing bile to get backed up into my system. I was in need of emergency surgery and didn't have a clue of where to turn!

There was no time to grieve or mourn the loss of my mom as I now found myself fighting for my own life!


When Angels Speak, I Listen

So my life had taken a turn, and I had no choice but to surrender as I embarked on this journey. I've been a healthy woman my entire life. The only time I was ever in a hospital was to give birth. The process to find a surgeon who could help me was a difficult challenge as my situation wasn't exactly an easy fix. I interviewed a few surgeons and ended up with someone who came highly recommended. I was still very unsure but I had to make a decision, since I was not getting any better.

The itching was getting unbearable, I was sleep deprived and my skin was turning yellow from the bile backing up in my system. My younger son said I looked like I was turning into a superhero! Because the tumor was rather large, pushing against vital organs, and very close to a couple of major arteries, it was recommended that I go through some tests and exploratory surgery first so the surgeon could assess how he was going to perform the surgery.

Long story short, I spent a week in the hospital and felt like a guinea pig. There was one test after another, and I was not getting better, nor did the doctors know what they were going to do to help me. Then finally when I didn't think I could take it another day, I got still and totally surrendered. The next thing that happened was nothing short of a miracle!

My aunt and uncle had called to let me know that they were coming by to visit me. Meanwhile, I got a call from my husband, who was completely beside himself. He didn't know what to do to help me but knew he had to get me out of that hospital and into the hands of a different surgeon.

He said, "I don't know what to do or who to call, but I've got to get you out of there!"

I told him, "Just start calling our circle of influence and someone has got to know someone who can help me."

Then he said, "But how will I know if it's the right one?"

Then all of a sudden, I heard a beautiful gentle voice say to me, "You'll hear the name three times." So I repeated that to him: "You'll hear the name three times." I looked at the phone in my hand, wondering where the voice was coming from. It made a lot of sense, and I was certainly open to infinite possibilities because I desperately needed some help. I had to trust the voice! I immediately felt a sense of calmness overcome me, and I knew that what I heard had to be the voice of an angel.


Excerpted from I'm Not Afraid to Die but I'm Not Done Living by Laura Weintraub. Copyright © 2014 Laura Weintraub. Excerpted by permission of Balboa Press.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

Table of Contents


Foreword, xi,
Acknowledgments, xv,
Introduction, xix,
Chapter 1 When It All Began, 1,
Chapter 2 When the Rug Got Pulled from under My Feet, 7,
Chapter 3 When Angels Speak, I Listen, 15,
Chapter 4 A Sign from the Other Side, 21,
Chapter 5 Me and Miss Ivy, 25,
Chapter 6 The Guy Next Door, 31,
Chapter 7 A Blessing in Disguise, 35,
Chapter 8 All Things Happen for a Reason, 39,
Chapter 9 A Letter to God, 43,
Chapter 10 New Beginnings, 47,
Chapter 11 My SafeT Net, 53,
Chapter 12 Purpose and Passionate Living, 59,
Chapter 13 Live for Today as if There Is No Tomorrow, 77,
Chapter 14 Conclusion, 83,
A Poem for my Mother, Carmela, 85,
About the Author, 89,

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