This book was written as a way to reach out to those who have a heavy heart. Everyone experiences times of heartache, loneliness, or feeling overwhelmed. This book is a collection of Christian poetry written during some of my saddest and most difficult moments. It reflects my feelings and deep darkness at times; but also shows how my faith and relationship with God brought me through those times and showed me that He had a plan and a purpose for everything. It is my sincere hope that this book will bring peace and comfort to anyone whose heart is broken, and will lead them to their Heavenly Father who can heal it.
|Product dimensions:||5.00(w) x 8.00(h) x 0.13(d)|
Read an Excerpt
In Rhymes of TroubleFor the Broken Hearted, Lonely, and Overwhelmed
By Tammy L. Cook
AuthorHouseCopyright © 2010 Tammy L. Cook
All right reserved.
Chapter OneFor the Broken Hearted ...
It wasn't until recently, at age 35, that I finally understood and accepted what it truly meant to walk in the Path of the Lord. For so many years, I walked in complete and utter darkness fumbling around totally blind to God's true mercy and love.
It is not that I wasn't saved. I was. I believed that Jesus died for my sins, and I had asked Him into my heart; but I didn't really understand much beyond that. I didn't know what it meant to follow in God's path or to walk in His will. So I wandered around aimlessly for countless, painful years on paths that led to absolutely nowhere.
My life seemed to become a stomping ground for Satan and his demons. As I took one violent, emotional blow after another I began to dwell in almost complete spiritual darkness. My life was a total mess and I felt powerless to change anything. I prayed, but that was really it. I didn't seek God, I didn't change anything in my own life, I just begged.
After eight years of marriage, my husband and father of my three boys, then ages five and younger, moved out. I remember thinking that I was going to absolutely die. The pain was literally physical as much as it was emotional. And anyone who has ever had the life altering misfortune of suffering through a divorce knows that the divorce is only the beginning.
Within a year, we had lost our home, our vehicle, and even our furniture. I had to file bankruptcy and move to a small apartment in a neighboring community. Little by little the children and I began to rebuild our lives. But there was a lot of anger and resentment in those days. Looking back on it now, I can so clearly see how God brought us through everything. But at the time, I was too frustrated and blinded by self pity to realize it. God heard my prayers and took mercy on me, but I still was a far, far cry from walking with the Lord.
Seven years later, I met another man who I fell deeply in love with. I thought in my heart that he was the one God had saved just for me. Even my boys loved and adored him. But he too, like me, had been hurt. He was not ready to move forward and we ended up parting. The pain that I felt was excruciating. It wasn't just the loss of this man that I loved so very much, but also the loss of all of the hopes and dreams that went along with it. I felt like once again my dreams for a normal, happy life had been crushed. I felt like I was being punished but couldn't figure out why. I don't know exactly what it was about that whole situation, but God called out to me every day through that painful endeavor. It was as if God had had enough of watching me self destruct by not doing anything His way. He seemed to be calling out to me almost audibly telling me that I had to get in line with His will, I had to start relying on Him and not on myself, and definitely not on a relationship to bring peace and contentment into my life. The pain remained, but all of the sudden ,when I finally decided to hand everything over to God during that very dark and confusing time, things seem to become manageable.
In words, "manageable" doesn't sound that glamorous. But when you live a life of pain, and negativity, and frustration, and fear, and loneliness, the peace that comes with manageability is absolutely priceless. The bliss of simply being able to handle what is being thrown at you is indescribable. It was a blessed release that I cannot even begin to explain.
May you find peace in the words that follow and may you give all your cares over to God and walk in His path. Believe me, it leads to a much better venue.
To the Man I Love
Be it your will, God That I tell him goodbye How I miss him already And I'm questioning why.
For I always imagined My life by his side Oh how could he leave As a sat there and cried?
Oh, Father, you know me Your will is divine If it be not your wish Then don't let it be mine.
You know what my needs are And each one is met You have always provided May I never forget.
To the man I love dearly Please know this is true Apart or together I shall always love you.
In Times of Desperate Trouble
In Times of desperate trouble To my Father shall I run For when my faith is shaken His healing's just begun
My heart, dear Lord, is broken My countless tears abound Oh you're the only refuge From my darkness I have found.
Bless me by your mercy And save me by your hand Heal my endless sorrow And restore my peace again.
How Do I See Me?
How do I see myself? Some days brave and real, Some days like a failure. Today I searched for the sun But couldn't seem to find it. Give me peace, Oh Lord, give me peace. Today I want to smile But the tears wash away my grin. I can't get over yesterday I can't forget that I loved him. Jealous am I of the blessings Heaped over the heads of others While I cry in the darkest night In the pillow 'neath my covers. Wondering when mercy will come And pull me from my prison. When will I stop hurting And start living once again? Without his love, I feel abandoned Part of my soul is gone. Not only have I lost my love But my dreams for the future, Hopes for a real life Fly away like a summer breeze in fall. He is gone and I remain Loveless, and alone.
The Endless Quest to Know ...
Like the burning inspiration Of a poet at his pen The start of something beautiful Has met with tragic end.
Lost in such confusion The endless quest to know How something you held dearly He so easily let go.
Inside you feel like screaming But no one ever hears ... They cannot feel your sorrow And cannot see your tears.
And all the time you wonder What sin you must atone That justifies deserving To suffer all alone.
Some Day I'll See ...
Balance me, Lord Favor the scale ... Bring me success For each time I fail.
Show me your mercy Pardon my sin ... And when I fall down Help me stand up again.
Take pace with my steps And show me the way ... May I never turn back May I not go astray.
And though I may wonder Why some things can't be ... Lord, give me the wisdom That some day I'll see.
At Times ...
At times we're broken hearted ... At times we are at peace. We know our God in Heaven His blessings will release.
If only we will trust Him And follow in His plan, Then in times of total darkness He'll shine His light again.
For when we fall the hardest And when all hope is lost ... Is when He really calls us To lay it at the Cross.
And though we feel defeated, Weary and alone ... That's when he draws us closer And lights the way back home.
One day a boy was searching With a little girl in tow. For what the boy was looking The poor girl didn't know.
He rifled through his bedroom And up and down the hall. He wandered through the stairwell To no avail at all.
He climbed up in the apple tree And searched around the shed. He looked through every dresser drawer And underneath his bed.
He searched through every blade of grass And in the dog house too. Oh the pain and agony The boy was going through.
The little girl stood smiling, "I think I understand. If you'll simply stop your searching You will find it in my hand."
I question where I'm going And ponder where I've been. I question all that happens And if I'll love again.
I think about tomorrow And worry for today, And question why we suffer In so many different ways.
I question all that matters And things that have no worth. I question all the sorrow That plagues us here on Earth.
One thing I'll never question Is my unrelenting Lord Who paid for all the questions That I could not afford.
Chapter TwoFor the lonely ...
For many years I felt so completely alone. I had my children, of course, but I still felt so abandoned. I would watch other couples and see how happy they were, and my heart would just break. I longed for someone to love me. I wanted to be loved the way it seemed everyone around me was loved, the way people seemed to love each other in the movies. I wanted someone to share my happiness with and my sorrow too. I couldn't figure out for the life of me why I seemed to be so unlovable.
My sadness quickly tuned to depression. I began to feel ugly and worthless. I had convinced myself that no one could ever love me, and I began to not even love myself. My attitude started to reflect what I was feeling on the inside. I became so negative that nothing pleasant seemed to ever pass my lips. I complained, cursed, yelled, and whined. In a strange sort of way, it was a cry for help. I desperately wanted someone, somewhere to hear the misery in my voice and recognize my sorrow. I wanted someone just to tell me that they knew I was hurting and that somehow it would be okay. I think to some extent I even hoped that someone had a magic cure, or some magic words that would heal my broken, lonely heart. But the truth was, my negative, miserable attitude did not alert anyone to my pain; all it did was repel people, and made them not want to be around me. At that point, I became so lonely and isolated that I literally wished that I was dead.
What I didn't seem to understand at that particularly low point in my life was that it wasn't a relationship with a man that I was lacking, or even relationships with friends. What I was lacking in my life was a relationship with God. God is not only our Father, but our best friend, our comforter, and our rock in times of trouble. He dries our tears and gives us guidance. It is no wonder that the void left in one's life when the presence of the Lord is missing is so huge that it simply cannot be filled by anyone or anything of this Earth.
As I slowly began to realize what was truly missing in my life, it was then that God led me to a wonderful book that helped me understand that I had to walk with Him every step if I ever wanted to get where I was supposed to go. The more I read, the more I wanted to read and to understand. I began to yearn for a relationship with God. I wanted more than anything to get on the right path and be led in the right direction. I became excited about the blessings God had for me and couldn't wait to learn more. All of the sudden I wasn't lonely anymore. I knew God was taking me to the exact spot that I needed to be to receive His blessings.
Without even consciously realizing it, the pain and loneliness began to dwindle. I stopped being jealous of other people's happiness. I stopped looking for love at every turn and I became best friends with our Lord and Savior instead.
May the following bring you comfort in times of loneliness and encourage you to find companionship in the Lord ...
I Come to You in Prayer
Oh Lord, this silence overwhelms The darkness clouds my soul How lonely, Lord, tonight I feel How sadness takes its toll.
For in the night I call to You I come to You in prayer When not a soul around me dwells You, Oh Lord, are there.
Draw nearer, Father, nearer still And hold my trembling hand. And give me wisdom for the things I just can't understand.
Help me, Lord, to know Thy will And help me to obey. For once I tread upon Your path My tears shall melt away.
He's Always Been Right Here
When stormy seas around me rise The moonlight's covered in the skies And all the joy within me dies He tells me not to fear.
For when my sorrow's dark and deep And haunts me through my troubled sleep I feel my faith I cannot keep My Lord is drawing near.
And when the shadows dim my light And force me into constant night No courage left to brave the fight His mercy shall appear.
And when I think I'm all alone To face the darkness on my own I realize I've forever known He's always been right here.
Excerpted from In Rhymes of Trouble by Tammy L. Cook Copyright © 2010 by Tammy L. Cook. Excerpted by permission.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.