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IN-SOURCED
CONTEMPLATIONS FOR CONSCIOUS & MIRACULOUS LIVING
By Helen Connolly
Balboa Press
Copyright © 2012 Helen Connolly
All right reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4525-6355-8
Chapter One
Thirty Seconds of Friction
I saw a film trailer for the film Barney's Version on TV in which Barney tells someone he's getting married. When he is asked to whom, before he can respond, a female voice cuts in, with the camera focusing on her very pregnant belly, and says flippantly, "To me. Prince Charming Bomb here knocked me up by way of a magical thirty seconds of friction," or something like that.
Crude though it may have been, that comment really resonated with me. I guess in the most basic sense, we were all created from thirty seconds of friction. Imagine that. The entire population of the world and everything that's in existence was created from friction! Every tree and blade of grass is the result of roots and shoots in friction with the soil; every coastline was carved out through friction with the waves of the ocean; warm campfires are the result of friction between two sticks.
Friction is the necessary precursor to new life—to transformation. The recent transformation in the Middle East is the result of friction between the energy of the masses and the energy of the powers that be.
Yet friction in our own lives gets such a bad rap, including friction in our marriages, in our families, in our workplaces, in our neighborhoods, between our hearts and minds, etc.
Friction itself is neutral, just as a knife can be used to spread butter or inflict suffering. It depends on how we view it and use it. It's an indicator light telling us that something is happening.
Let's reframe all the frictional events in our lives, shall we? Instead of resisting the friction, let's ask ourselves: What new life—what transformation—is being made possible by this friction? Who do I choose to be in relation to it? Do I choose to be strong and fearless or resistant and fearful? Is it possible in that moment to be loving, inclusive, and allowing? Do I choose to remain in witness consciousness, observing what's going on and my response to it, or do I choose to react from unconscious ego? Am I angry and upset or crystal clear in communication? Do I remain in integrity with what is or indulge in fragmented, illusory stories through which I view the present moment? And most importantly, do I choose to be for giving or for taking?
The options are many, and the freedom of choice is ours. Everything is appropriate depending upon where we are in terms of conscious awareness.
Whether you abide by the big bang theory, which some say created the universe, or believe that God/source made the world (presumably out of God/source material, because what else existed?), a wonderful example of infinite possibility has been set in place through friction. How would life be for us if we chose to view friction in that light and live up to its example?
Be the light that you are.
Beach Glass
I was thinking about beach glass after a meditation recently. The image just popped into my head—the smooth, colorful pieces you find washed up on the shore. Have you ever found two identical pieces of beach glass? Each one is unique, beautiful, and refined by its communion with water and sand. It has a preciousness that you can't buy mass produced in a supermarket.
It's a good metaphor for each one of us. As we pass through life, we are sculpted by our interactions with everything and everyone. When we place our lives in the hands of our divine selves, we are smoothed and polished even more. Swami Satchidananda said we are like stones in a bag that the divine shakes and shakes (there's that friction again!), rubbing away the roughness to polish us and make us shine. Note that he did not say it is to make us all the same but to make us shine!
The temptation of enculturation is to conform, like bottles neatly stacked in the grocery aisle or liquor store, to fit in and do what everyone else does. But why should we? The fact is, we didn't arrive all together in a delivery truck, fresh off an assembly line, and it's also likely that most of us will leave one by one. Why are we here if not to be the fullest expression of ourselves? That includes our innate divinity, which is life itself. It's the first to enter and the first to leave when we drop the physical form. It's the home base of uniqueness, and from lifetime to lifetime, it is our individual consciousness—a spark of all that is. You are that!
Of course, it occurs to me that beach glass most likely started out its journey as a generic bottle or jar, on a shelf somewhere before it broke free! Is there any area of life where you unconsciously conform to something that is not conducive to being the fullest expression of your divine self?
Often in order to survive a situation that is not in alignment with the essence of who we are, we self-medicate with dependencies on food, alcohol, sex, drugs (prescription or otherwise), work/busyness, money, power, status, television, sports, etc. Yet these same things keep our bodies, minds, and emotions distracted (as in off track) from experiencing our own swadharma or unique life purpose. In our efforts to avoid our illusory fear of emptiness or loneliness, we also block the exquisiteness of the self, which, if faced, would lead to true bliss.
We are powerful beyond our imaginations. We are complete and whole beyond all our perceived needs and habits. Dare to stand back from the habitual mind, take a seat in the heart, and look at this life you are living. Dare to break free in some way today! Start on any level—physical, mental, or emotional. It doesn't have to be something huge. In doing, in doing, it is done! Remember, it starts with a conscious thought or intention that is aligned with the heart of the heart. Let your beach glass shine as only it is meant to do!
Thought > Word > Action> Habit > Character > Destiny How will you shape your destiny today?
Five Quotes That Get Me Through A Tough Day
If you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always gotten. —Christina Thomas-Fraser
Would you rather be right or happy? —Christina Thomas-Fraser
I am here. It is now. —Master Charles Cannon
Your suffering will be in direct proportion to your resistance of what is. —Master Charles Cannon
Don't think. Look. —Jaimangal Krishnanand
A story: We are in our tenth week of a six-week basement renovation that started at the beginning of May. We added a yoga studio renovation to the job because the workmen were already here and their craftsmanship seemed ideal for what needed to be updated in the studio. We figured the work there could be done while we were away on vacation.
But the cottage we rented for the month of July is being occupied only by my son at the moment. It's still a fantasy for Dan and me. Delays, setbacks, and friction of all kinds are to be expected in this line of work. We're used to that and can roll with what is, keeping our eyes focused with gratitude on the transformation. However, this week something so unexpected happened and brought up such processing for me that I had to resort to some of my favorite quotes, listed above, to help realign my energy and bring me back to a state of balance. It was so illuminating to my attachments and judgments, enculturation and fears, and it caught me by surprise for what, on the surface, seemed like such a little thing. I thought you might enjoy hearing about it. (My apologies if you'd rather not. Feel free to just skip ahead to the next contemplation!)
We had just dealt with a major issue of re-laying the new bathroom floor due to an error the tiler made in matching the color tones. Thankfully he came through for us and corrected the mistake, though it meant we had to put off our vacation to oversee the remedial work to completion. I assumed the contractor was now aware of the standard of workmanship required (mistake number one; never assume anything!), and I was grateful when he said he'd have his men in to lay the wood floor in the studio hall and powder room on the weekend we had to stay home so it would be in place before the painter arrived a few days later.
My intuition raised a red flag when the man who showed up to do the work was not the same carpenter who had done such a good job in the basement, but the contractor assured me he was good. (Mistake number two; do not ignore those intuitive red flags!) The second red flag went up when I asked what kind of threshold he'd brought to finish the edge between wood and carpet, and he disinterestedly responded that it wasn't his job and the carpet guy would figure that out.
Okay! Say no more, Helen, I thought to myself. You've already blasted the tiler this week. I decided to stay out of it and see what emerged. Well, what emerged was the worst handyman special imaginable, complete with all the rubble of the old flooring tossed onto the yoga studio floor and industrial glue wiped onto the landscaping rocks outside the door in the sanctuary garden. When he called me down to inspect the new floor he had glued down to the sub-floor, I thought it must be a cruel joke—except that I wanted to cry, not laugh!
My thoughts and emotions went something like this:
1. Denial: This can't be happening. He's kidding, right?
2. Fear: Oh my God, I've just ruined the beautiful studio.
3. Guilt: Sacrilege ... This is a desecration of sacred space. How could I have let this unconscious person in here?
4. Fear and Guilt Combined: I can't possibly let this floor stay. It's a terrible first impression of a supposedly wakeful space. I hate it. The students will hate it! But what about saving the environment if I have to rip it up?
5. Anger and Judgment: What kind of idiot was I to believe the contractor when he said he was good? What kind of contractor would tell me (or think to himself) that he was good? What kind of person would lay a floor like this and think it was good? Etc.
Do you see how the mind works to create story, fantasy, frenzy, and nightmare that take one out of conscious presence? After weeks of renovation challenges, I was finally in high process. This exceeded my quota of tolerance, or as Master Charles might say, "My peak management skills were exceeded." That caused me to lose my usual peace and balance; a learning curve was sprung upon me!
I put calls in to my husband and the contractor. I was so upset that I picked up a novel and started reading to distract myself from what I was powerless to deal with in that moment. (This is a method of bringing positive dominance to a negative dominant energetic state, thus aiding in regaining a position of balance in favor of a stormy emotional state. By removing oneself from the situation physically or mentally, one can create perspective and regroup.) Still, moments later, my husband had to remind me to breathe when he returned my call! Isn't that funny? Why is it that when consciousness plays hide and seek, it often takes its coping mechanisms with it? In truth, we cut the connection to such wisdom with our imbalanced state. It is always there for us.
Here's what I (re)learned:
a. Attachments steal your happiness. The closer you are to something, the larger it looks and the blinder you can be to the attachment. I felt that the studio was my gift to God. I was devastated that it had been disrespected. My daughter reminded me that I am my gift to God, not the building. Big lesson! Aren't kids great teachers? (Note to self: I must have had good karma to have attracted such wise kids into my life!)
b. Judgments, like expectations, steal your happiness. This is not to condone bad workmanship. It is merely not to confuse the deed and the doer. Judgments close the heart, which cuts us off from the divine flow of awareness, so we suffer more than those we judge. As the truth of who we are is oneness, that judgment sticks to us. Indifference (neutrality) or compassion is key here to reopen the heart. If they knew better, they would do better. When I know better, I do better. It works both ways and also allows us to be kinder to ourselves when we mess up.
c. Enculturation runs deep into the subconscious and can be a reflexive action until awareness brings transformation. I grew up in a perfectionistic household. Mistakes were not easily tolerated. Judgment of the mistake maker was swift. This is part of my journey—to discard what is not the finest expression of self. (This is my smoothing of the beach glass!) It is enough to include this facet of my personality and transcend through awareness without adding to the illusion by judging myself harshly for judging others!
d. If I always react as I was programmed by my enculturation, I will get what I've always gotten, which is a vicious circle, if you stop and think about it. When awareness dawns, it is necessary to consciously choose differently. The question is, "Who do I choose to be in relation to this situation?"
e. Sometimes in the heat of the moment, I unconsciously choose to be "right" when I'd really rather be happy. I forfeit peace of mind for anger, frustration, or desire for things to be other than they are. Thus my suffering is in direct proportion to my resistance of what is.
f. "I am here. It is now." If I can be precisely aware off. exactly what is taking place, devoid of the dramatic story that is being scripted by my mind from past enculturation and future fears, I will be present to the moment and what it presents. Just being ... and breathing ... and being ... and breathing ...
g. "Don't think. Look." If I come from emptiness, I remain balanced. If I come from thoughts, opinions and stories, I become unbalanced and I'm not in a position to deal with what is in an effective manner. Simply looking reveals this fact: The floor is not okay. It needs to be replaced. End of story. No drama. Calmness reigns. No big deal! This factual communication was relayed through my husband, whose state of mind was more detached in that moment. (It was not his place of work or sacred space, after all!) I surrender it all to the universe for the highest good of all concerned. And somewhere in heaven, God is laughing!
PS: My son thoroughly enjoyed his bonus of a week's solitude at the beach cottage and had things nicely set up when we got there.
PPS: The end results of the renovation of the basement and studio are really beautiful in appearance and peaceful in vibration, and I learned so much along the way, for which I am grateful!
See how things work? It's all for good!
A Perspective on Perspectives: Enlightening Lessons from a Washed-up Fish
I was lying on my belly on a blanket in the sand just outside the cottage when my son came up from the beach with a tennis ball and a hurling stick. As he passed by me on his way up the steps to the deck, he said, "There's a big dead fish on the beach, and the ball hit it."
I asked where the fish was, and from his position on the deck he said, "Over there where all the birds are. They're pecking at it."
I turned my head to look but could see no birds. I was about to ask what birds but decided against it, rising instead to walk in the direction he was pointing, trusting that there were birds there, even if they were invisible to me at the moment. As I followed the path for a few steps through the undulating dunes, I saw the tops of feathery heads appearing. After a few steps more, the white and speckled heads of a small flock of seagulls came into view. Sure enough, there in their midst was what was left of a large fish, about two and a half feet long, mouth open wide, scales glistening in the sun as the skin rippled loosely in the gentle waves of the shore's edge.
How beautiful, I thought. The whole cycle of life and death was at my feet, thanks to whatever calamity caused this fish to die. I had the privilege of examining it up close. Its skin was floating gracefully like an ethereal gown with huge couture sequins. What had fleshed out this dress was now being recycled into nourishment for the gulls, leaving a beautiful, strong skeleton and skull. There was no bad smell. Nature had provided a most efficient clean-up crew.
(Continues...)
Excerpted from IN-SOURCED by Helen Connolly Copyright © 2012 by Helen Connolly. Excerpted by permission of Balboa Press. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
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