How can I prevent an affair from destroying my life? Whether I am the cheater or the betrayed partner, how can I survive, even thrive, in the wake of an affair? Infidelity provides key insights to find your true sexual and romantic potential and advocates honesty, trust, and integritythe fundamentals of love.
People often cheat in a haze of delusion, believing that it will bring them real love, help them have better sex, lift their spirits, and boost their sagging self-esteem; however, very often, cheating wrecks relationships and erodes self-esteem. In Infidelity, one of America's top doctors combines neuroscience, addiction theory, and common sense to explain the three types of cheating: emotional, virtual, and physical; why they're so prevalent; and how to live in accordance with our values when we are drawn to stray.
Examining what the latest science tells us about the brain's reward systems, love, and sex, Dr. Kenneth Paul Rosenberg reveals what drives men and women to cheat and what they can do about it. At a time when America's pornography obsession rises to the level of a competing sexual interest, when is porn a problem, and when does it count as infidelity? And since it is not the act of infidelity alone that destroys a couple, how does any couple prevent growing apart? Through concrete rules addressing these and other vital questions, Dr. Rosenberg guides couples on how to prevent cheating, stop it from progressing, and repair the damage caused by an affair.
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About the Author
Table of Contents
Author's Note ix
Part 1 Biology and the Basics 1
1 The Basics of a Cheating Heart 3
2 Desire: The Engine of the Affair 19
3 Sex and Love: The Primordial Addictions 36
Part 2 The Taste for New Sex 59
4 Cyber Relationships and America's Obsession with Pom 61
5 The Emotional Affair 78
6 The Sex Quest for Threesomes and Orgies 92
7 When Pain Is Pleasure, and Other Kink 105
Part 3 Discovery, Disclosure, and Moving Forward Toward Healing 119
8 Discovery: The Truth Comes Out-What Now? 123
9 Disclosure: Prepare Yourself for the Messiness 141
10 Emotional Healing 158
11 Sexual Healing and Fidelity 179
12 Sex and Love with More Than One: Do Open Relationships Work? 206
13 Closing Thoughts 226
Appendix: For More Help 233