Is It You, Me, or Adult A.D.D.?: Stopping the Roller Coaster When Someone You Love Has Attention Deficit Disorder

Is It You, Me, or Adult A.D.D.?: Stopping the Roller Coaster When Someone You Love Has Attention Deficit Disorder


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Everyone knows someone with adult AD/HD (diagnosed or not), but we often misattribute the symptoms to anxiety, depression, or even laziness, willfulness, flightiness, selfishness, moodiness, and worse. We describe people with it as having addictive, Type A, or even passive-aggressive personalities. In most ways, AD/HD symptoms do resemble the human condition -albeit in a highly exaggerated form-and so we don't make the connection to a brain disorder. It seems that almost everything about AD/HD creates confusion-until you get the facts, which are thoroughly and engagingly presented in this book. For example, until recently, the official term was ADD, plus or minus Hyperactivity, and that's how many people still refer to it (hence the title). The new official term, AD/HD, uses a slash mark to indicate that hyperactivity is not always present, but many people mistakenly assume that this term describes only people with hyperactivity. In fact, hyperactivity is rarely present in adults, and that's why we used to think that children outgrew the disorder. Now we know that the physical hyperactivity common to children goes "underground" as the person matures, resulting in a mentally restless state, and that 70 percent of children with this condition do not outgrow it. This is a lifespan disorder-with serious implications into old age. These family members of adults with ADHD also face the "AD/HD Roller Coaster" of chaos at home: disorganization and clutter, forgotten tasks and obligations, unpaid bills and maxed-out credit cards, neglected home repairs and lost jobs, hot tempers and erratic parenting styles, traffic accidents and citations, and more. Moreover, the very symptoms of their disorder (including poor working memory, difficulty linking cause with effect, and an impaired sense of empathy) mean that many adults fail to accurately perceive their role in the chaos, and so they place the blame everywhere else. For these reasons, it

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780981548708
Publisher: 1201 Alarm Press
Publication date: 08/31/2008
Series: ADHD Roller Coaster Guides , #1
Pages: 369
Product dimensions: 6.00(w) x 8.90(h) x 1.00(d)
Age Range: 18 Years

About the Author

Gina Pera is a San Francisco-based freelance journalist and a nationally known advocate for ADHD awareness and effective treament standards.

Pam Ward has performed in dinner theater, summer stock, and Off-Broadway, as well as in commercials, radio, and film. An experienced narrator, Pam has recorded many titles for the Library of Congress Talking Books program. She is the recipient of an AudioFile Earphones Award and the prestigious Alexander Scourby Award.

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From the Publisher

"Insightful, helpful, witty, and very practical. This book can change your life." —-Daniel G. Amen, M.D., author of Change Your Brain, Change Your Life

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Is It You Me or Adult Add? 4.2 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 12 reviews.
EdParks More than 1 year ago
This is an excellent book if your partner has been diagnosed with ADD (aka ADHD) or you suspect they may have ADD - A must read for either of these situations. Stop the crazy cycle!
KWSkultetyLVT More than 1 year ago
After I read The ADHD Effect on Marriage, I searched for similar books. This one kept popping up and seemed to be highly regarded, so I gave it the highest compliment I could: I purchased a copy. This book is put together very well, and operates under the premise that ADD is not “so much of a disorder of attention as it is a disorder of self-regulation”, according to psychologist Russell Barkley, who wrote the foreword.  The theme of the book is the ‘roller coaster’ that both ADD’ers and non experience on a daily basis, and so the chapter headings are related to our favorite amusement park rides.  There are three parts; first, what is ADHD and how it affects you/your partner, second, what happens when you hit rock bottom and either decide to get treatment (or not), and three, how to succeed in building your relationship back with different strategies. As you read, you get the sense that you are part of a support group, as you read other’s stories and get to know what lessons they have learned along the way. The difference between this book and the one I mentioned above, is that this goes into much more detail, with explanations as to WHY these things happen, and HOW to fix them. I found myself highlighting sections, seeing how there are common threads among ADD’ers and their significant others, and even learning more about brain function.  Each chapter contains a few ADHD Partner Snapshot graphs, which show the results of surveys taken from 162 responders. There are chapters devoted to denial, medications, finances, therapy, co-existing disorders, sex, coping skills, and more. Understanding the spectrum of ADHD takes patience, time, and teamwork, and that is the author’s intent. Where The ADD Effect On Marriage told me about the emotions that ADD’ers experience, this book goes deeper. I learned in real people’s words how they dealt with frustration and despair, and how most (but not all) took steps to regain the love and trust they once felt. I highly recommend this book, as it gives you strategies and sources for help, without being preachy or too glib. The book concentrates on getting help for both the ADD and non ADD partner, without being too touchy feely. Solutions for issues are discussed from all sides, and are eminently able to accomplish. Interested? You can pick up a copy here.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Best book out there on AD/HD! It has answered almost every question I had as to why my husband acts the way he does. I finally know I am not crazy or imagining things
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
This book helped me to understand so much. It answered soooo many questions. It gave me the piece of mind I needed to know that it wasn't necessarily my fault and I wasn't imagining the things I was observing with my husband, and it validated some of my feelings. If you suspect your spouse may have ADHD this book will help you understand and deal with all the feelings and emotional roller coaster you are going through.
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