A mother gives up her privacy in opening a door to the intimacy of her attempts to deal with the dislocating family problems common to the lives of so many parents. This nonfiction memoir by Jill Stone offers advice and counsel to those caught up in the trauma of similar circumstances as it lays bare a real story about real people coming to terms with their frustrations, learning to change what they can and live with what they can't.
Every mother who reads the book will be moved to relive the joy and sadness of experiences that parallel those revealed by the author.
It Only Hurts For ... A Lifetime is a fast read but unequalled in its substance and intensity. It is a mother's memoir that penetrates the human experience. It poses the question: Is there any profession more demanding than parenting, more rewarding, or more worthy of commitment? "Who among us" the author asks "doesn't have regrets for the mistakes we've made?" It is Jill's hope that the manner in which she met the challenges she faced and the attempts she made to free herself from anxiety might serve as guideposts for those coping with strained family relationships.
As she moves from the introduction to the first chapter, she sets the stage with a discussion of the unique heritage that surrounded her as she grew to maturity. She talks of the strong neighborhood identities that spawned lasting relationships that began in the city of Philadelphia and persisted in the migration to the suburbs. She goes on to describe the traumatizing effects of her parents' divorce, the end of her own marriage and how her three children dealt with that calamity. Jill's fear was that she would be penalized for the rest of her life. Her deepest frustration being the long-lasting and profound impact of the divorce on her younger daughter which led to the loss of contact with her daughter's children who have not been allowed to see her. It is a situation that invades her dreams and turns them into nightmares.
Readers will not be able to put the book down as the author's son, in his own words, details the horrific events in which he fell victim to the drug culture, lost his freedom and working against the odds, found the road back in a journey from Hell. It is a case study proving that rehabilitation can work. You will feel that you are with him behind the prison bars as he wondered ... "How long will it take for the carnivores to begin working on me?" Jill says it was an agony that she will never be able to purge from her memory. She gives thanks for getting her son back and for the solid citizen he is today.
This chapter carries a message of hope to the many parents who are living through the torture of a child gone wrong.
The author also discusses the seeming breakdown of parental control, the power and influence of peer groups, reflections on what she might have done differently, and how she made her life more full. She says if readers find something of value in what she has written, she will have been amply rewarded.