It's None of My Business What You Think of Me: If You Want to Change Your Life...Change the Way You Are Looking at It

It's None of My Business What You Think of Me: If You Want to Change Your Life...Change the Way You Are Looking at It

by Peter Baksa

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Overview

It's None of My Business What You Think of Me: If You Want to Change Your Life...Change the Way You Are Looking at It by Peter Baksa

Life is a series of contracts the ego makes with itself; reality is the shadow these contracts put upon our souls. Just as a businessman makes a contract with other businessmen, so too does your ego make contracts. These contracts begin when you are a child, and you unknowingly enter into them with your parents, friends, teachers, employers, and the mass media. These contracts will make you poor, sad, and unhealthy if they are kept. Our ego tells us how much time and effort to spend in getting others to approve of us. Everyone goes through a domestication period-a time where others tell us what we should eat, act like, want, and not want. This domestication period ends when we decide that it has ended.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780983247210
Publisher: Intelegance Publishing
Publication date: 01/31/2011
Pages: 179
Product dimensions: 5.90(w) x 8.90(h) x 0.50(d)

About the Author

Peter Baksa has advanced degrees from a Big Ten university and did research and study in the schools of architecture, finance, and law. He sat on the board of a bank that grew from a small-town bank into a multistate, $3 billion juggernaut. After being elected president of a small Illinois symphony, he took it from near bankruptcy to sold-out concerts. He has seen poor-working through scholarships, odd jobs for the university, writing and playing original songs with his band, and also dragged himself over to the brighter side of life, closing his first real estate deal in time to pay off his student loans as well as provide seed money for his boutique real estate company. When he's not working on his books or speaking professionally, he helps out with such charities as the Make a Wish Foundation, the Starlight Foundation, and Broward's Children Center, raising money and creating interest in these organizations through events that he created and successfully initiated.

Table of Contents

Introduction: What Grandmother Said 1

My Grandmother's Secret Recipe of Life: 16-36-66 Principle

Part I Age 16

Chapter 1 Ego and the Contracts It Makes with Itself 7

Domestication

The Baseball Mitt

The Power of Words

Nancy

A Positive Example

The Cult of Domestication

Limiting Yourself

Labels

Chapter 2 Domestication, a Closer Look 25

Don't Waste Your Energy

Know Who You Are

The Environment of Domestication

Self-Judgment

The Contracts You Make

Chapter 3 The Two Doors: Fear Versus Love 35

Fear, the Frantic Voice

Love, the Quiet Voice

Chapter 4 Sin 43

A New Definition of Sin

An Improved Definition of Sin

Sins We Commit

Chapter 5 Perception 51

Act from a State of Presence

Do Not Take It Personally

Your Perception about Yourself

Your Perceptions Are Not Your Own

Changing Perceptions: Lose the Critical Spirit

Chapter 6 Giving It Your All 65

Why Give 100 Percent When 70 Percent Will Do?

Do Not Be a Clock-Watcher

Marriage

Contrast

Part 2 Age 36

Chapter 7 Choosing a Career 14

Did You Choose Your Career or Did Your Career Choose You?

Scripts You Are Fed

Taking Control

A Personal Story

Career Choices to Make if You Are a Teen or Young Adult

How to Find Your Archetype

Career Choices to Make if You Are a Parent of a Teen

Chapter 8 Lifestyle by Design 95

How Do You Approach Life Situations?

Do You Choose Life or Does Life Choose You?

Would You Give a Four-Year-Old a $100 Bill?

Is Choosing Against All Odds Madness?

You Are Enough

Chapter 9 The Power of Words 105

Becoming Gossip-Resistant

Intentional Spell-Casting

Gossip by the Group

Your Internal Axiom

Chapter 10 It Is Never about You, It Is Always about Them 115

Subjective Reality

Guilt

Chapter 11 Presumptions of the Ego 123

We Believe What We Presume

Do not Assume

Justifying the Ego

Negotiating a Relationship

Chapter 12 Marriage and Responsibilities 133

Practical Love

Problem Patterns in a Marriage

It Is OK to Love Yourself First

A Word about Sex

Responsibilities and Children

Part 3 Age 66

Chapter 13 Grandmother's Advice on Living an Optimal Life 145

The Six Golden Saviors

Optimism

Unlearning Optimism

Purpose

Goals

Action

Courage

Humility and Graciousness

Ways to Practice Humility and Graciousness

Chapter 14 Final Thoughts and Conclusions 159

The Pain Body

Find Your True Consciousness

Your Call-to-Action:

The Answer to the Question

About The Author: Peter Baksa on Giving Back 169

Notes 175

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It's None of My Business What You Think of Me: If You Want to Change Your Life...Change the Way You Are Looking at It 5 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 6 reviews.
Dr_J_Baker More than 1 year ago
Fantastically well written, colorful, easy to read, and understand what typically is a complex topic. Book paves the way for helping make great decisions, that lead to a complex interesting life. Great organizational format for easy reading. It is funny, insightful writing that points to a message that is so powerful it will change your life. I know it did mine. If you are a parent of a teen this is an absolute must read! If you are struggling with life's complexity and need help navigating - check out this book to help you make great decisions and lead you to the most successful happy life possible.
iconlan More than 1 year ago
"What other people think of me is none of my business" has been a favorite phrase of mine for quite a number of years. I used to share it with my clients who had self esteem issues and was often met with either a "deer in the headlights look" or outright disagreement. So when I saw this title, I knew I had to read the book. I was hoping for something meaningful and of substance and I was not disappointed. Baksa writes with an easy-to-read style, often using personal anecdotes to make the point. I especially appreciate the wisdom of his "Gramma" that gave the book its structure and is interspersed throughout the book. He urges the reader to look at the agreements (contracts) their egos have made over their lifetime. These agreements or contracts are unconscious but nevertheless, influence every decision we make and, if allowed to continue, can disrupt our lives. We also need to discover the invisible labels we wear that determine our direction, our decisions, our self image and more. Some of these labels may be "I'm too fat (or too thin, too old or too young, too...anything), I'm not good enough, I'm not smart enough. You get the idea. These contracts and labels originate over time from what Baksa terms "domestication." They are basically agreements and beliefs that we assumed from years of following parental and other "adult" input about "right actions and right beliefs." You know, the "we always do it this way" kind of stuff. Baksa urges us to make our own decisions, define our own beliefs, and march to our own drummer. In other words, nullify the contracts and rip off the labels. Because we are "uniquely unique,' (my words, not his)we are exactly the way we should be and, if someone else doesn't like it, it's their business and their problem, not ours. Getting there takes work, self discovery and determination as well as courage. The book addresses such issues as sin, careers, relationships, the power of words, marriage and responsibility. It encourages you to examine what your were taught, your own conclusions about what you were taught, and what you are still acting on in terms of contracts and labels that are still influencing your behavior. This is a book to be read, certainly. But more, it is a book to sit with, ponder, and use as a guide for self discovery and personal growth. Who should read this book? Anyone who has ever been bothered by what they believe someone else thinks of them and by those who judge and critique others. That just about covers us all wouldn't you say? Read it, and let me know what you think. And pay attention to what his Gramma says. She's a wise woman who teaches that what other people think about you doesn't matter. It's what you think of you that counts.
NatalliaK More than 1 year ago
My sister gave me this book after she ranted on about how amazing it was, and I definitely have to agree with her! Ever since I was a child, I've been trying to seek the approval of people, even putting others ahead of myself, and Peter Baksa teaches me that this is a horribly repetitive cycle that only I can stop. He shows you real life examples of how you can stop this and also stop seeking the approval of others. Great read!
Andersdk More than 1 year ago
WOW! As someone who has major self esteem issues and always worries about what others perceive of me, I was truly blown away by how helpful this book was. The author really shows you how you start at such a young age at trying to get the approval of others, and he also clearly states that the only solution to end this problem, is for you to stop it yourself. You don't have to have a self-esteem issue in order to get something from this book - I suggest it as your next read!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
This book was very interesting. The author discusses various concepts and discussed how at such a young age, we begin to develop, as he states it, "contracts" between our ego and other aspects, such as your parents. So when you get older, you feel you need to seek the approval of your parents based on these contracts. Although it's great to seek the approval of your parents, sometimes it can really bring the spirits of individuals down. So you need to find your healthy point. Overall, a great read.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
This book was very interesting. The author discusses various concepts and discussed how at such a young age, we begin to develop, as he states it, "contracts" between our ego and other aspects, such as your parents. So when you get older, you feel you need to seek the approval of your parents based on these contracts. Although it's great to seek the approval of your parents, sometimes it can really bring the spirits of individuals down. So you need to find your healthy point. Overall, a great read.