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Joey Green's Amazing Kitchen Cures: 1,150 Ways to Prevent and Cure Common Ailments with Brand-Name Products

Joey Green's Amazing Kitchen Cures: 1,150 Ways to Prevent and Cure Common Ailments with Brand-Name Products

by Joey Green

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Stop bleeding with Krazy Glue®?
That's amazing!
Find the cure for what ails you in the kitchen!

And it's only one of the 1,150 astonishing ideas in Joey Green's Amazing Kitchen Cures! Discover more remedies that are hiding in your favorite household products as Joey reveals that you can:

* Beat a backache with Adolph's Meat


Stop bleeding with Krazy Glue®?
That's amazing!
Find the cure for what ails you in the kitchen!

And it's only one of the 1,150 astonishing ideas in Joey Green's Amazing Kitchen Cures! Discover more remedies that are hiding in your favorite household products as Joey reveals that you can:

* Beat a backache with Adolph's Meat Tenderizer®!
* End insomnia with Aunt Jemima Original Syrup®!
* Cure a cold with Gold's Horse Radish®!
* Stop arthritis pain with Heinz Apple Cider Vinegar®!
* Get rid of headaches with Gatorade®!
* Prevent allergy attacks with Dannon Yogurt®!
* Arrest acne with Colgate Toothpaste®!
* Soothe aching feet with Alka-Seltzer®!

The next time you're facing a late-night bout of sickness and can't reach a doctor-- get a cut, scrape, or bite-- or just want to save money-- reach for the brand-name products in Amazing Kitchen Cures instead of medications. You'll find that they're just as effective, and some are even better!

* Stop sunburn with Cheerios®!
* Clean your teeth wuith McCormick® Food Coloring!
* Soothe a sore throat with Hershey's® Syrup!
* Calm allergies with Endust®!

Editorial Reviews

How can Silly Putty help prevent swimmer's ear? Is there a way to hasten the healing of an unsightly black-and-blue mark without leaving the kitchen? And is there any ailment that cannot be helped by French's mustard? Joey Green provides the answers to these questions, along with scores of brand-name remedies for whatever ails you, in Joey Green's Amazing Kitchen Cures. Among the ingenious recommendations are soaking in powdered Cheerios to alleviate the itch of chickenpox; soothing sore nipples during breastfeeding with Lipton Tea Bags; relieving itchy insect bites with A-I Steak Sauce or Ban Antiperspirant; and giving yourself a facial with Elmer's Glue. Amazing, indeed.
Publishers Weekly
For anyone who's ever wondered what to do with surplus baking soda or leftover bubble wrap, Green's newest book will provide the answer. The author of Polish Your Furniture with Panty Hose suggests how Arm & Hammer baking soda can be used to exfoliate skin and how bubble wrap can be stuffed into an empty pillowcase to make a fine back cushion. This book of cure-alls may raise eyebrows, but Green maintains that these homemade remedies work: to cure insomnia, for example, Green recommends sipping a boiled mixture of McCormick Basil Leaves and Aunt Jemima Original Syrup. Though it's no substitute for actual medicine, this alphabetically arranged sourcebook offers suggestions for everything from soothing knee pain and relieving poison ivy to preventing hangovers and caring for nails. To cope with those midnight pains and aches-or to see just how many uses Lipton has-Green's suggestions might be good to have around. (Nov.) Copyright 2003 Cahners Business Information.

Product Details

Rodale Press, Inc.
Publication date:
Edition description:
Product dimensions:
6.31(w) x 8.76(h) x 0.84(d)

Read an Excerpt

Joey Green's AMAZING Kitchen Cures

1,150 Ways to Prevent and Cure Common Ailments with Brand-Name Products
By Joey Green


Copyright © 2002 Joey Green
All right reserved.

ISBN: 1579546447


Arm & Hammer Baking Soda. Poor a small amount of Arm & Hammer Baking Soda into the cupped palm of your hand and add a little water to make a Paste, Put a small dab of the paste on any blemishes and let sit for a few minutes. Gently scrub your face with more of the paste. The baking soda cleans your skin thoroughly, exfoliates dead skin cells, loosens blackheads, and leaves your skin feeling wonderfully smooth.

Colgate Toothpaste. Apply a dab of Colgate Regular Toothpaste on the pimples. The toothpaste dries up pimples quickly. Just be sure to use the regular flavor-not the tartar-control kind, which contains harsher chemicals,

Cortaid. Applying a dab of Cortaid on your pimples reduces the swelling and tenderness.

Crest Toothpaste and Band-Aid Bandages. Apply a dab of Crest Regular Toothpaste to the pimple, cover with a Band-Aid bandage before going to bed, and the swelling should dissipate by morning.

Dickinson's Witch Hazel. Use a cotton ball to clean oil from the skin with this cooling astringent.

Elmer's Glue-All. Rather than using Bioré Strips to remove oil and blackheads, coat your face with at thin layer of Elmer's Glue-All(avoiding your eyes). Let the glue dry, then gently peel it off, exfoliating a thin layer of skin. Elmer's Glue-All is water soluble, so you can always wash it off with warm water should it stick to your eyebrows.

Epsom Salt. To remove blackheads, add one teaspoon Epsom Salt and three drops iodine to one-half cup boiling water. Let the solution cool, dampen strips of cotton in it, and apply the strips to the clogged pores. Repeat three or four times, reheating the solution if necessary. Gently unclog your pores, then apply an alcohol-based astringent.

Heinz White Vinegar. Mix equal parts Heinz White Vinegar and water, and use a cotton ball to clean your face with the astringent solution, to readjust your skin to the proper pH.

Hydrogen Peroxide. Put a small amount of hydrogen peroxide on a cotton ball and rub it on your face, cleansing your pores with this mild astringent.

Kingsford's Corn Starch and ReaLemon. When you break out in pimples, mix one teaspoon Kingsford's Corn Starch with one teaspoon ReaLemon lemon juice to make a paste. Apply to the affected areas and let dry. This acne treatment eliminates the redness and helps pimples dry up faster.

Kiwi White Liquid Shoe Polish. Apply a few dabs of Kiwi White Liquid Shoe Polish over the pimples. The pipe clay and zinc oxide in the shoe polish dry the pimples and help bring them to a head.

Lipton Tea Bags. To bring a pimple to a head quickly, dampen a Lipton Tea Bag with hot water (do not squeeze out the Water) and apply, as a compress.

Listerine. Wash your face with warm water and soap, rinse, then saturate a cotton ball with Listerine and use the antiseptic mouthwash to cleanse your pores. Then dab the Listerine on blemishes. Leave the Listerine on your face for ten minutes or until you can no longer feel the tingling' sensation. Then rinse your face with warm water to wash off all the Listerine and splash with cold water to close your pores again. Just be sure rouse original flavor Listerine, not Cool Mint Listerine (which contains sugar).

Neosporin. Dab a little Neosporin on pimples and blemishes. The antibiotic helps clear up acne.

Phillips' Milk of Magnesia. Using Phillips' Milk of Magnesia as a facial mask helps dry up the excess oils from your face, and dabbing it on pimples reduces redness and speeds up healing.

Preparation H. Applying a dab of Preparation H reduces the swelling of acne pimples.

Quaker Oats. Make a bowl of oatmeal according to the directions on the back of the canister, let cool, and apply the oatmeal to your face. Cover with a washcloth dampened with warm water. Let sit for fifteen minutes, then wash clean. Repeat daily for one week, or whenever acne flares up. Oatmeal is a natural astringent that dries the skin.

ReaLemon. Rub ReaLemon lemon juice over blackheads before going to bed. In the morning, wash off the juice with cool water. Repeat for several nights, and you should see a huge improvement in the skin. Also, dab ReaLemon on any blemish a few times during the day.

SueBee Honey and Band-Aid Bandages. To bring an embedded pimple to a head, cover the blemish with a dab of SueBee Honey and place a Band-Aid bandage over it before you go to bed. Honey kills bacteria, keeps the pimple sterile, and speeds healing, bringing the pimple to the surface overnight.

Vicks VapoRub. To dry up pimples, put a little dab of Vicks VapoRub on the blemishes, and the pimples will soon vanish.

Visine. Applying a few drops of Visine to pimples and blemishes reduces the redness. Visine is a fast-acting vasoconstrictor. (If you intend to use the eyedrops in your eyes, do not let the tip of the bottle touch your skin.)


* During adolescence, the body begins producing large amounts of the hormone androgen, which causes the sebaceous glands in the skin to overproduce oil. When the excess oil gets trapped in the passageways under the skin, pimples form.

* A boy's body produces ten times more androgen than a girl's body does, meaning boys are times more likely than girls to get acne.

* Attempting to cover up heavy acne with makeup makes it worse.

* Despite folklore to the contrary, chocolate does not cause acne.

* In many episodes of the 1970s television series The Partridge Family, teen heartthrob David Cassidy has pimples on his face.

* General Manuel Antonio Noriega, former dictator of Panama, whose complexion was scarred by acne, was nicknamed "Pineapple Face" by his opponents.

* In the 1989 movie How to Get Ahead in Advertising, produced by former Beatle George Harrison, a British advertising executive planning a sales campaign for a new pimple cream, suddenly develops a boil on his neck that turns into a second talking head.

* Bill Murray, Ray Liotta, Tommy Lee Jones, Edward James Olmos, Dennis Franz, Richard Belzer, James Woods, Richard Burton, Elizabeth Hurley, and Rene Russo can be seen in movies and on television with acne scars.

Air Freshners

Arm & Hammer Baking Soda. Add two teaspoons Arm & Hammer Baking Soda to two cups water in a sixteen-ounce trigger-spray bottle. Shake well, and spray the air of any room to banish bad odors. To deodorize a closet, place an open box of Arm & Hammer Baking Soda on a shelf.

Bounce. Tape a Bounce dryer sheet to the front of a fan or inside an air conditioning vent, so the fan or air conditioner will blow fragrant air throughout the house. You can also place Bounce dryer sheets under sofas and carpets, in drawers, or suspended from a hanger in a closet-especially if you're about to close up a house for the winter.

Car-Freshner Pine Trees. Hang a scented Car-Freshner Pine Tree on the window blinds, from an air conditioner vent, or from the pull string of a ceiling fan. Run the air conditioner or fan for two minutes. The fresh scent should last up to two hours. Keep the Car-Freshner Pine Tree in a Ziploc Storage Bag for another day.

Downy. Add one tablespoon Downy liquid fabric softener to a sixteen-ounce trigger-spray bottle filled with water, shake well, and spray as an air freshener.

Heinz White Vinegar. Remove odors from cooking, paint fumes, or cigarette smoke from a room by placing a small bowl of Heinz White Vinegar in the room. Heinz White Vinegar can also be used as a natural air freshener when sprayed full strength in a room.

Kingsford Charcoal Briquets. Placing a clean, used coffee can filled with charcoal briquets (without any lighter fluid) in a closet or chest will absorb odors.

Maxwell House Coffee. Fill a bowl with fresh grounds of Maxwell House Coffee as a room deodorizer and air freshener.

McCormick Vanilla Extract. Saturate a cotton ball with vanilla extract and place it in your vacuum cleaner bag before cleaning to perfume the air.

Mennen Speed Stick. Remove the lid from a Mermen Speed Stick and place the deodorant stick in a clothes drawer, linen closet, under a sofa, or under the seat of your car. You can also use a knife to slice the deodorant stick into chunks and place them around the house.

Nestea, ReaLemon, and Mr. Coffee Filter. Mix one quart of Nestea according to the directions and add four tablespoons ReaLemon lemon juice. Strain through a paper coffee filter. Pour into empty trigger-spray bottles. Tea is a natural deodorizer.


* Before buying an air freshener in a grocery store, most shoppers pick a can off the shelf, remove the cap, and spray the air or their fingers, and breathe deep to test whether they like the fragrance. Air fresheners contain chemicals that no one in their right mind should be inhaling.

* Air is composed of 21 percent oxygen, 78 percent nitrogen, and 1 percent trace elements.

* To human beings, air is invisible, odorless, and tasteless.

* Your right lung takes in more air than your left lung does.

* People have lived more than a month without food and more than a week without water, but people cannot live more than a few minutes without air.

* If you are locked in a completely sealed room, you will die of carbon dioxide poisoning before you will die of oxygen deprivation.

* Air contains aerosols, which are invisible solid particles measuring roughly 0.1 micrometer in diameter. These aerosols include dust, sand, volcano and meteor ash, car exhaust, factory smoke, pollen, ocean salt, and microbes. Rain and snow wash many of these aerosols from the air.

* Humans live in the troposphere, which ends an average of approximately eight miles above the earth's surface (about ten miles above the equator, and roughly six miles above the North and South Poles). Beyond the troposphere, the air is too thin to support life as we know it.


Altoids Peppermints. Chewing two curiously strong Altoids Peppermints may clear up a stuffed-up nose. Peppermint relieves congestion.

Dannon Yogurt. According to the International Journal of Immunotherapy, eating yogurt with active cultures enhances the body's immune system by increasing the production of gamma interferons, which play a key role in fighting certain allergies and viral infections.

Endust. As fan blades turn through the air, they create static electricity, which attracts dust to the edges of the blades. Spraying Endust on the blades of overhead ceiling fans and oscillating fans and wiping them clean lubricates the blades, preventing dust from settling on them.

Glad Trash Bags and Scotch Packaging Tape. Cut open the sides of several Glad Trash Bags, wrap your mattress and pillow in the plastic, and tape it in place to prevent dust mites from burrowing into the mattress.

Maybelline Crystal Clear Nail Polish. If you are allergic to nickel or other metals, paint the backs of the fly buttons on jeans and the posts on earrings with clear nail polish and let dry to prevent skin irritations.

Mr. Coffee Filters. In a pinch, you can use a Mr. Coffee Filter as a dust mask by simply placing it over your nose and mouth and breathing normally.

Scotch Packaging Tape. Remove fuzz, lint, and pet hair from clothing by wrapping a strip of Scotch Packaging Tape around your hand, adhesive side out, and patting your clothes.


In 1872, John Kimberly, Charles Clark, Havilah Babcock, and Frank Shattuck founded Kimberly, Clark & Company in Neenah, Wisconsin, to manufacture newsprint from rags. In 1889, the company built a pulp and paper plant on the Fox River and, in 1914, developed Cellucotton, a cotton substitute used by the united States Army as surgical cotton during World War I. After the war, Kimberly-Clark, eager to find a commercial market for Cellucotton, introduced Kleenex Kerchiefs as a disposable facial towel to remove makeup. Army nurses had used Cellucotton pads as disposable sanitary napkins, prompting Kimberly-Clark to introduce Kotex, the first disposable feminine hygiene product, in 1920. The following year, Chicago inventor Andrew Olsen designed Serv-a-Tissue, a pop-up tissue box that Kimberly-Clark soon produced for its Kleenex Kerchiefs.

Housewives soon discovered that their husbands were using their Kleenex Kerchiefs as disposable handkerchiefs, and the subsequent letters of praise to Kimberly-Clark prompted the company to test-market the two possible uses for the product. In 1930, sixty percent of consumers in Peoria, Illinois, who were offered two different coupons redeemable for a free box of the tissues, chose the offer describing the product as a disposable handkerchief. And that s the way Kimberly-Clark has marketed Kleenex Tissues ever since.

DURING WORLD WAR II, soldiers used a more absorbent version of Cellucotton as air filters in gas masks.

IN 1936, Kimberly-Clark inserted a list of forty-eight alternative uses for the product into every box of Kleenex Tissues, including polishing furniture, cleaning pots and pans, and cleaning car windshields.

THE TRADEMARKED BRAND NAME KLEENEX appears as an entry in Webster's Tenth New Collegiate Dictionary, which clearly recognizes "Kleenex" as a protected trademark.

York Peppermint Pattie. Eating a York Peppermint Pattie should quickly clear up a stuffed-up nose, because peppermint relieves congestion.


* Eighty percent of house dust is dead skin cells.

* When you sneeze, all bodily functions stop, including your heart.

* Between 25 and 33 percent of the population sneeze when they are exposed to light. The nerve endings in the nose are connected to the nerves in the eyes.

* Particles expelled by a sneeze have been recorded traveling at 103.6 miles per hour.

* Gesundheit is German for "good health." The word for sneeze in German is niesen.

* The Old English word for sneeze is fneosan.

* Roughly 15 percent of Americans have an allergy requiring repeated medical treatment.

* Allergies are caused by house dust, mold spores, pollen, and the dandruff or hair of household pets.

* The existence of airborne bacteria was discovered in 1861 by French bacteriologist Louis Pasteur.


Excerpted from Joey Green's AMAZING Kitchen Cures by Joey Green Copyright © 2002 by Joey Green
Excerpted by permission. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.

Meet the Author

Joey Green, America's favorite health maverick, is also the author of Joey Green's Magic Brands, Polish Your Furniture with Panty Hose, and Clean Your Clothes with Cheez Whiz®, as well as more than 20 other titles. Dubbed "The Pantry Professor" by People magazine, Joey has appeared on The Tonight Show, Good Morning America, Today, The View, and The Rosie O'Donnell Show.

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