While there are any number of dating guides out there – books on everything from how to get a man to how to keep him, books which give us rules or encourage us to break rules, books which idealize romance and others which aspire to empower us to reclaim and retain our independence – few books speak as honestly to the trials, tribulations, poignancy and humor of re-entering the dating pool after a long, monogamous relationship, or to what it might take to muster the courage and mettle to do so.
Alex Delon was 17 when she married and 65 when she walked away from the man she loved and the only life she knew. Through those years together, she had worked with her husband to build a multi-faceted, multi-million-dollar business - truly a family business – a cornerstone for not just them but their three grown children. She’d been his wife, lover, and partner, their mother…and loved being a grandmother. She’d also become a master of denial...that defense mechanism that becomes a place littered with eggshells, lies and betrayal where we hide from the truth and smile for our family photos.
Despite the back-story, LEAVING YOU… for me, is neither a rant nor sermon, a tirade nor a pedantic list of rules. It was written in real time - in those raw-explicit moments not tempered with perspective. And despite the author’s age, it is not written for seniors. Rather, LEAVING YOU… for me, is a book for any woman picking eggshells out of her feet, wondering why or what she can do to fix her relationship, glue her broken dreams back together, and for any of you seeking to reclaim your sense of self, your sense of humor, and your sense of adventure in the wake of a failed relationship – whatever your age.
For Alex, beginning again has been the adventure of a lifetime and the adventure continues and expands on her website, https://www.alexdelon.com. It’s a place for all of us to learn, contribute, share, pour our hearts out, help each other mop up the mess and then laugh at the often times utter hilarity of love and life beyond a dysfunctional relationship. Buckle up and never give up. You are not alone...never alone.
|Publisher:||Dare to Be Free, LLC|
|Product dimensions:||6.00(w) x 9.00(h) x 0.68(d)|
About the Author
If you are in your 30's, 40's, or even 50's, don't let my age throw you. One of the most surprising things I've learned in the last couple of years is that when it comes to ending relationships, we are pretty much all in the same place. As women, our default is to wonder - even when he is abusive or he plays around - what we did wrong. Brad was the one that had affairs, but I felt like I was going to be the one to screw up Christmas. I was his wife, the mother of three grown sons. I had ten grandchildren that grew up eating chocolate chip cookies and peanuts in our bed as we watched Disney movies. I didn't just leave Brad. I left my life - a life which, other than his tempers, empty promises, and affairs, was good.
It had taken a jumble of courage, fear, and desperation to stay. It took those same things to finally walk away.
Suffice to say, when I left, the fun began.
The book, which began as a dating manual for women re-entering the dating pool, nee: swamp, later in life, evolved. The more I experienced the more my own exploits became the illustrative anecdotes I would use to give the newly-single a perspective on what they would be facing. And the more I wrote, the more I realized how I was growing and changing.
Today, I'm proud to tell you I'm an evolution. Finally. And I say that with a gush of relief and a smile of satisfaction. Sure, I still have days I stutter, step back, or plop down and grab a few tissues, but those are rare now, and more likely because I stubbed my toe. I'm terrified to fail, but more excited and determined to research, write, get a golf game, stretch out my stubborn hamstrings, enjoy the wonderful people in my life, and learn to dance. I revel in my newly-claimed independence. Having moved from our family's home base in the Phoenix area to a beautiful beach town in the heart of San Diego, I revel in exploring my new home, on foot.
Table of Contents
The Evolution of Abuse, Emotional Abuse, Why We Stay in Abusive Relationships, Adaptation to Abuse, Stand Up to Abuse, Break up, Break away. Stay away. Heartbreak. Grief. Healing from Abuse. Personal Growth. Coming of Age at Any Age. Strength, Grit and Boundaries. Separation and Divorce. Family and Friendships. Dating Culture. Dating. Being Single. Sex Without Intimacy. Intimacy Without Commitment. Filling the Vacuum of Emotional Abandonment. Fearlessly Venturing into the Unknown. The Fun, Humor and Utter Hilarity of Dating. You Are Worthy.