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Letting Go of Good: Dispel the Myth of Goodness to Find Your Genuine Self

Letting Go of Good: Dispel the Myth of Goodness to Find Your Genuine Self

by Andrea Mathews


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"Mathews identifies a psychological pattern that largely goes unrecognized, but which is epidemic, and she offers sound, solid solutions. This very wise book deserves a wide reception."—Larry Dossey, MD, author of One Mind

Stop Being Good and Start Getting Real

Rediscover your true self with Letting Go of Good, an empowering guide to dismantling the false connection between being good and being worthy. While exposing the dangers of the guilt-led life, practicing psychotherapist Andrea Mathews shares innovative tools and techniques for healing, including how to understand and dialogue with emotions, develop intuition and discernment, and make decisions from a place of honest desire and compassion.

Featuring a foreword by Thomas Moore, author of Care of the Soul, this book provides the guidance you need to embrace the real, authentic you. With illuminating composite examples from Andrea's clinical experience and a powerful exploration of the pathway to healing, Letting Go of Good presents a breakthrough approach to creating genuine relationships and awakening your true self to find peace.

"In this wonderful book, Andrea offers an important and insightful message for those seeking the next step in a life of freedom."—Jonathan Ellerby, PhD, bestselling author of Return to the Sacred

"This beautifully expressed book is a true gift for those many who feel lost or depressed about the celebration of life."—Nancy Qualls-Corbett, PhD, author of The Sacred Prostitute: Eternal Aspects of the Feminine and Awakening Woman

"Andrea Mathews not only understands the depths to which we go to remain in the human condition, but also the purity of the soul in that collaboration. Letting Go of Good: Dispel the Myth of Goodness to Find Your Genuine Self is a powerful bridge between the two, allowing the authentic self to emerge beyond the identity."—Simran Singh, life mentor, award-winning author of Conversations with the Universe, and media creator for 11:11 Magazine

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Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780738752235
Publisher: Llewellyn Worldwide, LTD.
Publication date: 08/08/2017
Pages: 288
Product dimensions: 5.90(w) x 8.90(h) x 0.70(d)

About the Author

Andrea Mathews has nearly thirty years of experience in the mental health and human services field providing and supervising others in the provision of therapy. She’s also a professional trainer and motivational speaker, frequently providing workshop and individual coaching in authentic leadership, conflict resolution, authentic relationships, and more. Andrea is the host of the radio show Authentic Living with Andrea Mathews. She lives in Birmingham, Alabama, and can be found online at www.andreamathews.com.

Table of Contents


Foreword by Thomas Moore xvii
Introduction 1

Part 1: Why We Need to Let Go of "Good" and Learn to Be Genuine Instead
1. Becoming Genuine 13
2. Understanding Projection, Introjection, and the Good-Guy Identity 27
3. Reinforcements: Empathy and Bargaining 45
4. The Importance of Self 55

Part 2: Becoming Aware of the Falsehoods That Hold Us Back
5. Give Them the Benefit of the Doubt 71
6. I'm Just a Giver 77
7. Life's Purpose Is Helping Others 81
8. You Are Selfish If … 85
9. Do Not Judge 89
10. To Love Is to Trust 93
11. Guilt Is a Good Thing 99
12. Innocence Is Sacred 103
13. You Are Responsible for How I Feel 107
14. The Lie of Loyalty 113
15. Do Your Duty 119
16. I Should Love Them Unconditionally 125
17. I Should Forgive Them 133
18. I Should Always Smile 141
19. Be the Bigger Person 145
20. When the Good Guy Misuses Others 149

Part 3: Healing: Making Friends with Difficult Emotions
21. Understanding the Inner World: Your Internal Messaging System 159
22. My Friend, Resentment 167
23. My Friend, Anger 173
24. My Friend, Fear 181
25. My Friend, Sorrow 189

Part 4: Healing: Making Friends with Your Personal Powers
26. My Friend, Intuition 197
27. My Friend, Discernment 203
28. My Friend, Desire 209

Part 5: What to Expect from the Overall Healing Process
29. The Differentiation/Integration Process 221
30. Practice That Becomes Process 227
31. Arriving at Peace 247

Bibliography 253

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