Lightworkers are sensitive and highly empathic souls who have an innate need to help and heal others. These peaceful supporters of humanity are here to make positive changes and create personal, balanced, and loving human connections.
But many Lightworkers become so caught up in their divine mission to heal that they sometimes overlook the importance of receiving love. Do you find yourself always loving generously and rarely feeling valued? Do you feel you're always responding to the needs of others? Because of this inner calling to heal, many Lightworkers find themselves in situations that create an endless cycle of sorrow in their own relationships. Eventually these beautiful souls close off their channel to receive love altogether.
Lightworker Relationships: Creating Lasting and Healthy Bonds as an Empath will help you understand how to:
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About the Author
Sahvanna Arienta is an internationally known psychic advisor and spiritual counselor. Her work helps others recognize their authentic selves and find purpose in living a heart-centered existence. Her unique style and connection to others are powerful healing tools that have been revolutionary forces for change in the lives of her worldwide clientele. She is the author of Lightworker and The Lightworker's Source. Her website is www.sahvannaarienta.com.
Read an Excerpt
Ambassadors From Heaven
As you probably already know, being a Lightworker is not just a gift, but a calling. This calling is something you have been chosen for and have chosen to fulfill. Before Lightworkers come to earth to live life in their physical body, they make a sacred agreement with their source creator to leave the higher planes of existence and come to earth as healers. These souls must reach a particular stage of enlightenment before they can incarnate here on earth and start their mission. Their mission is, always, to bring healing energy to the planet in some way, shape, or form. As a Lightworker yourself, you probably feel perpetually driven to help, to be of service, to spread your light energy. Lightworkers are heaven's ambassadors on earth, different from what we know as angels but still from a higher place. These ambassadors make the ultimate sacrifice to come to earth — a harsh and sometimes cruel place — and many times these sensitive souls suffer much confusion and despair before they awaken to who they really are. Once they realize their purpose and are set on a course to complete their mission, they can find a wonderful balance between humanity and spirituality. This place of balance is not easy to find, however. Lightworkers are truly heart-centered beings, meaning that all they do is powered by the love energy that comes through the heart chakra, right in the center of the chest, the center of your being. Lightworkers draw upon and channel this love energy from the highest source of all, God.
To truly appreciate yourself and your gifts, you must first understand that your true essence is energetic, or nonphysical. This energy you are made of is transformed into a physical manifestation (that is, your human form) and it forms everything you do and all you experience, including your relationships. Your physical body is just a temporary home for your spirit and the vehicle for your spirit to complete your work here on earth. The sensitive and distinctly complex soul of a Lightworker is unique and has specific needs and requirements to keep this energy (your spirit) healthy and vital.
Within your spiritual body are seven conduits that channel your energy and keep it moving in an orderly fashion. These channels are called chakras, which is a Sanskrit word for "wheel." The seven chakras are energy centers and conduits through which energy flows. As their name implies, they move and rotate universal energy through our physical body and hence are very important for our spiritual and physical well-being. Here is a brief overview of the seven chakras and their placements, physical associations and purposes.
* The first chakra, located at the base of the spine, is called the root chakra. It is associated with the Earth plane and all things material. Our sense of security as well as our fears are stored here, as it keeps us grounded in the earth plane.
* The second chakra, also known as the sacral chakra, is located just below the navel, and is associated with sexuality and self- esteem. This is where both the masculine and the feminine energies are stored and merge together.
* The third chakra is located in the solar plexus and is essentially the will center. This is the place from which our will moves out into the world in order to manifest those things we are trying to create in our lives.
* The fourth chakra is located at the heart and is related to love. This is where the love energy of the universe cycles through us. Lightworkers channel all their healing powers through this sacred conduit.
* The fifth chakra is located at the throat, and is our channel for communication and the voice. Communicating ideas, concepts, and emotions and speaking for your authentic self comes via this chakra.
* The sixth chakra is located at the position of the third eye, and is related to sight, insight, and time. This chakra is the seat of intuition and psychic abilities.
* The seventh chakra, or the crown chakra, is located at the top of the head and is the point of connection to our source creator. Divine information comes via this chakra.
We will discuss each chakra and the part the chakras play in relationships later. For now, we will begin by focusing on the one that is most sacred to the Lightworker: the fourth chakra, or heart chakra.
The heart chakra
Because Lightworkers heal through the power of love, the heart chakra is their most sacred energy space. Many Lightworkers guard this space fiercely because it acts as the conduit for their healing gifts and the place from which they move out and do their work here on earth. Guarding it too closely can be a double-edged sword, however, because this chakra is also their means of connecting with other people. After all, all Lightworkers are human and need to have their emotional needs fulfilled, just as all other people do, in order to maintain the optimal balance of body, mind, and spirit. When the human needs are not met, their energetic side (which channels love through the fourth, or heart, chakra) is weakened, and its source of connection to others begins to close off. This can be quite the conundrum for a Lightworker, because the work they have come here to complete on a spiritual level must engage that very same conduit that is used to foster their connection with others and satisfy their need to be loved. What is a Lightworker to do?
What's Love Got to Do With It?
The healing energy of love is where all the Lightworker's healing gifts come from. Love energy comes in many forms, shapes, and sizes. Sometimes a Lightworker's love of art and music brings beauty to the world, whereas another Lightworker can heal humanity simply by helping the needy. There are many ways the healing power of the love energy can be used to complete the Lightworker's mission. The primary area in which love energy tends to create difficulties in a Lightworker's life is in personal relationships. It is true that each Lightworker has a need to embrace a higher purpose and has come to earth on a sacred mission, but does this sacred mission have to come at the expense of true happiness for the Lightworker? Many times as a Lightworker you may forget that you are entitled to receive love and feel nurtured in return. In fact, loving and being loved — this mutual energetic exchange — are essential to completing your mission! A Lightworker cannot fulfill his or her sacred purpose without receiving love (light energy) in return. The energy exchange keeps an even, balanced ebb and flow of healthy fluidity constantly channeling through the love conduit, the heart chakra.
Sensitive Lightworkers can become so consumed by empathic emotions, energetic transmissions from others, and their innate need to be of service, that they tend to overlook what is essential to their work: keeping their heart chakra open and flowing with perpetually renewed love energy. Without this healthy equilibrium, light energy is depleted, and toxic energy is in overload. When this happens, the Lightworker starts to shut down, and the heart chakra becomes hardened and closed off. Simply put, the heart chakra slams shut to protect itself. When the heart chakra goes into "lockdown" mode, it is impossible to accept love from others. It also blocks your ability to share the healing gifts you came to earth to share. When the Lightworker becomes overwhelmed with toxic energy, the human ego (or conscious mind) goes on a mad dash to seek out light energy sources, either in safe places that bring no spiritual growth, or, worse, in outright dangerous places. Many times such Lightworkers will find themselves trapped in unhappy relationships in which their authentic self becomes bogged down and buried with layer upon layer of darkness. This mad dash usually manifests in the form of multiple dysfunctional relationships, destructive behavioral patterns, and, sometimes, vicious cycles of abuse. Other Lightworkers take the safer route and isolate themselves entirely. Some find connection with animals — a safe source of love but one that cannot fulfill the need for human connection. In sum, any time love energy is not processed properly, the heart chakra will go into this "lockdown" mode, which in turn will prevent any type of personal relationship from developing in a healthy way.
When you get to a place where all you can do is give but never receive, all you're doing is continually putting out love energy, further depleting your light energy, and blocking your healing gifts. When a Lightworker is blocked and trapped in a dysfunctional relationship or in a state of isolation, her feelings of self-worth diminish; she begins to interpret this feeling as proof that she is incapable of loving or of being loved. This puts her in the precarious and vulnerable situation of being abused or manipulated by others who are prone to exploit someone who is so susceptible. Then the Lightworker will actually feel guilty for being abused, because she "brought it on herself." Lightworkers take on the blame or responsibility for the abuse because their need to heal and be of service is not being fulfilled. Lightworkers will sacrifice their own wellbeing without a thought in order to please everyone and keep the peace. Many times these beautiful, gentle souls have little awareness of how to help themselves in these situations because their inner calling to help others takes precedence over everything else. This is by no means a personality defect, and it doesn't mean you are weak or somehow defective. Quite the opposite! It just means you need to develop an awareness of your sacred role and how it factors into your total being, which includes both the human and the spiritual side.
An Energetic Sponge
Many Lightworkers feel isolated and out of sync with others and when it comes to developing healthy personal relationships; in this sense their own gifts actually become a hindrance. Empathy is a powerful force for the Lightworker. Although it is a healing gift at times it can wreak havoc in your personal life if you let it. The empathetic Lightworker will actually attract and be attracted to the wounded. Why would someone want to attract a wounded partner? Because of an inner need to heal humanity, which, again, comes from a place not of this earth. Lightworkers come from a higher place where pain and suffering do not exist. The earth plane is heavy with dark energy and needs these soldiers of the light to keep it in balance. Yes, you have a sacred purpose to heal the wounded, but without proper awareness you will actually take on the wounds as your own burden and try to shoulder the pain yourself. This is a mistake. It takes a lot of awareness to understand that these feelings of pain and energetic sicknesses are not yours, but belong to someone else. When you finally do recognize that you are acting as an energetic sponge, you can "wring out" all these emotions that you have absorbed unadvisedly and begin the process of cleansing.
Returning to Self-Love
The loss of self-esteem and self-worth and subsequent heartache that comes with these relationships is usually difficult to recover from for the Lightworker. Through it all they lose sight of what is authentically their own energy. Being so sensitive and empathic to everyone and everything around you can also open up an overwhelming flood of emotions, which may in turn put you in a downward spiral of self-loathing and low self-esteem. Particularly in personal relationships, your human need for validation is also involved. So this not only becomes a spiritual pain, but your humanity will also suffer. Spirits need no validation, but the human counterpart we all identify with needs the human connection to thrive. We see this in infants whose mothers do not bond with them properly. The babies fail to thrive properly and their development is stunted. Human connection is essential in everyone's incarnation.
Healing practices to release this toxic energy and reopen your heart chakra will be discussed later, but it is a long and quite challenging process returning to that original state of self-love that you came to earth with. Uncovering the layers and layers of toxic energy that have caused heart chakra "lockdown" can be laborious and painful. However, doing the hard work of sorting out our energy and maintaining proper balance in our entire chakra system is needed to maintain spiritual and physical well-being. Many times this will mean excavating painful memories or experiences that you'd probably prefer to keep buried. But in order to cleanse and open up this sacred channel, the heart, the pain must be brought to the surface, embraced, and then processed to make room for light energy. Like peeling away the layers of an onion, you're bound to shed some tears in the process. However, as you begin to get closer and closer to your true core, you will get to the place of self-love and authenticity that will enable you to open up and receive love from others in a healthy, constructive way. For those who have been trapped in cycles of unhealthy relationships and are locked down with toxic energy, it is important to begin as soon as possible. Sadly, rehabilitation may take several years or even decades without the proper awareness and guidance. If you are reading this and feel you have come to this unfortunate place, not to worry: We will discuss many ways to uncover the love in your heart and open you up once again.
If you constantly find yourself in toxic relationships, it's likely that you are attracting one or more of the following types:
* Emotionally unavailable.
* Physically unavailable (for example married or otherwise partnered, geographically undesirable).
* Passive aggressive.
* Commitment phobic.
* Abusive, emotionally or physically.
* Afraid of intimacy.
* Overly needy.
* Overly jealous.
If you feel you have been attracting partners with these traits, you may be a Lightworker in need of a new perspective on relationships and, most of all, on your authentic self. Read on and we will discuss how you can be safe from the vulnerable position of being in the "lockdown" mode that comes with loving and coexisting with these types. In the next chapters we will discuss how to avoid attracting or being attracted to these types of people and how to gain mastery of our Lightworker role and achieve happiness as a human being.CHAPTER 2
Examining Our Most Sacred Space
Lightworkers come to earth with an endless source of light energy to complete their healing mission. This energy comes from the most powerful source in the universe, a source so profound and expansive that it is impossible to describe with mere words. It is the source of everything that ever was or ever shall be, our creator. It is that constant, pulsating vibration that resonates through every form of life on the planet. Even things we don't consider to be alive, such as stars, rainbows, the ocean, and even a gentle breeze, are all fueled by this powerful energy. It is comprised of one element only: unconditional love. Lightworkers help to heal the planet by using the heart chakra as the conduit of this ultimate love source, the highest vibratory energy there is. The love energy heals, regenerates, and balances the energy of the entire planet and everything in it. The ability to feel compassion, sympathy, and gratitude as well as to heal is all channeled through this sacred conduit, the heart chakra. It is also the Lightworker's main source of connection to others.
How Do We Become Blocked?
As I already mentioned, the reason Lightworkers come to earth is to heal by using their enormous power. If the channel or conduit for this power is blocked for any reason, the Lightworker's power to heal becomes blocked, as well. Primarily these blocks occur through harboring toxic energy rather than "processing it through" properly. Sensitive and empathetic Lightworkers, mistakenly thinking they are being of service, often take on the pain and toxic energy of others and hold it for them. This is not healing; rather, it is enabling others to remain stuck in their pain and not heal for themselves. So the other person never grows or gets any better, and the whole process becomes counterproductive and even harmful to both people. Lightworkers in such a position, those who are not serving their purpose, often become lost in feelings of worthlessness and despair. They feel misplaced, depressed, and useless, unable to do their job. If you are a Lightworker and you do not protect your healing capacities, they will quickly shut down, and you mission will never be completed. For Lightworkers, living a heart-centered life — focusing one's energy on loving compassion — is the most important practice in keeping them happy and vital.(Continues…)
Excerpted from "Lightworker Relationships"
Copyright © 2016 Sahvanna Arienta.
Excerpted by permission of Red Wheel/Weiser, LLC.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.
Table of Contents
Part I Living from the Heart
Chapter 1 Ambassadors from Heaven 19
Chapter 2 Examining Our Most Scared Space 31
Chapter 3 Nurturing Both the Spirit and the Human Identity 43
Part II Lightworkers Need Love, Too
Chapter 4 Human Connection and Working through Pain 57
Chapter 5 How and Why We Seek Out Dysfunctional Relationships 69
Chapter 6 Recognizing Our Responsibility for What We Attract 77
Part III What Hurts So Badly?
Chapter 7 Where There Is Love, Pain Cannot Exist 87
Chapter 8 On the Road to Good Intentions 99
Chapter 9 The Cycle of Disconnect 111
Chapter 10 Isolation and Closing Doors 123
Chapter 11 The Spiritual and Physical Meltdown 135
Chapter 12 Excavating Soul Wounds 147
Part IV Finding Yourself Again
Chapter 13 Rediscovering Our Authentic Self 161
Chapter 14 Returning to Love Begins With "I Am" 171
Chapter 15 Shifting Our Perspective: From Victim to Warrior 183
Part V Human Reengagement
Chapter 16 Escaping Our Comfort Zone 197
Chapter 17 Setting Healthy Boundaries 209
Chapter 18 Learning to Give and Receive Equally 221
Chapter 19 The Path Back to Love 231
About the Author 249