"Listen to My Soul": Therapeutic Poetry and Expressions to Stimulate Inner Healing

by Gerald W. Jones

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Overview

As Gerald continues his journey through poetic expressions, he praises the Lord for the gift to be able to write about and publish books of this nature. He has publicly acknowledged the fact that five years ago, he was two days away from death, and it was Father God who gave him a second chance. And with the blessings, he intends on writing poems that serve a purpose in life. "Listen to My Soul" is the third published book by Gerald; a continuance in a series of writings, which are to heal and enlighten his readers.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781496957429
Publisher: AuthorHouse
Publication date: 12/10/2014
Pages: 282
Product dimensions: 6.00(w) x 9.00(h) x 0.64(d)

Read an Excerpt

"Listen to My Soul"

Therapeutic Poetry and Expressions to Stimulate Inner Healing


By GERALD W. JONES

AuthorHouse

Copyright © 2014 Gerald W. Jones
All rights reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4969-5742-9



CHAPTER 1

What Feelings I Have Left


My heart is battered,
grief my longtime friend.
Where do I fit in now ...
traceless of where I've been.

Asking myself the question,
what is my purpose here,
what is in my future ...
is the answer near?

I challenge my thoughts;
for questions are endless.
Why I'm I so lonely,
why am I so friendless.

Being a good person,
giving more than was fair.
Kindness confused for weakness,
your friendship only hot air.

Feelings nearly empty,
with nothing else to give,
seemingly lost in a time warp,
a past not wanting to relive.

A heart with lost rhythm,
far from being new.
Arteries clogged with depression,
my anguish viewed by few.

I cry alone at night,
no one to see my tears.
The times my heart broken,
by family over the years.

Can't anyone see me,
or feel my pain?
I long for comfort,
my tears hidden by rain.

The time will come,
someone special will see;
a man broken by life,
longing to be free ...

Give me your hand
and show true friendship,
without Asking for,
any "tit for tat" bullshit.

The feelings left,
are warm and genuine.
They're from the heart,
and a rare find.

Your soul will be warned
with an infectious smile.
A sign of true friendship,
that'll last a long while.


The Price of Love

When hearts are equal,
love is free.
Why are question asked,
"what ya gonna do for me"?

Many times in romance,
something is wanted in return.
Some looking for assurance,
Others ... what they can earn.

Wondering sometimes,
if love can be found,
is it still out there
or gone underground?

Love is so elusive,
like "hide and seek".
Thinking you've found it,
but gets lost in a week.

Feeling things are good,
when "I love You" is said,
then realizing too soon,
they're playing with your head.

Words that empty wallets,
or cost others sanity.
The word games played,
since start of humanity.

Folks placing demands,
while others reach into pockets.
Some wanting credit cards,
as the price of love skyrockets.

Many aren't so blunt,
they come in subtle ways.
Asking for little things,
like handouts on paydays.

Payments in many forms,
from new shoes to the rent ...
even 'Pay for hire'
by persons spiritual spent.

Money motivated reasons
or just wanting control,
folks working 'Mind games'...
fitting you into a mold.

Methods are easy,
if applied with affection,
some use rude behavior,
served up with rejection.

How truly shameful,
we've bastard the word 'love',
using it for personal gains,
not as blessings from above.

The price of love,
hasn't changed with time.
Only tricks used,
to get into your mind.

Some lost their dignity,
others lost income.
Most left with pain,
and all feeling dumb.

The price maybe too high,
for what some want to pay.
Hopefully love will survive ...
for me to find one day.


Did You Really Know me?

You once said, you
knew me well, then
closed your eyes, giving
up on dreams we once shared.

In your eyes, I had too
many faults and would
never find a place in your
world. A place we could
share together ...
in love forever.

Truly blinded by your
strange sort of love,
I came willingly from
my tranquil state, to a place
so unfamiliar ...
the fault was mine.

Why did you play with my
feelings?

You told me time would
allow us to grow, to know
and understand each other.
I soon learned that you
were only pretending to care
as to bring me closer
into your web of disaster.

From the start, I never
challenged your intentions.
Feeling it would put stress
on our relationship. I now
know true love must be
tested.

I feel you were swept
deeper into that woman,
that you feared you'd become,
if put in a submissive role; you
would no longer be able to
conceal your true identity.
Did you try to understand me?
You said, I was the first
to break down your wall, of
distrust in men and should have
been proud that the feat, but
somehow, I only released a
time capsule of poisoned feelings
and past pain.

You made me believe, I was
the man, whom you wished
to love forever, the man who
was so perfect for you, the
man, you wanted to spend
the rest of your life with.

From the beginning, you often
proclaimed you couldn't ask
for anything more in a man
and that any woman would be
lucky to have me in her life.
Somehow I feel that meant
anyone but you.

What was my purpose in
your life?

Was I suppose to bend at
the slightest breeze, up root
my world and throw away my
dreams? Tell me, how was I to
live by your rules alone?

Like a pair of fancy underpants,
I was worn on special occasions,
then thrown in a closet until the
next time, I fit your lifestyle or
ego plans.

Maybe I was your version of
a "cold tablet", used until the
illness was cured, then put
back in the cabinet until the
next episode or crisis.

I really felt like your punching
bag at times, for it seemed you
got enjoyment out of beating me
down with criticism and blame.
I thought if you could vent with
me, you would become a happier
woman ...
I was wrong.

It's a shame, I gave so much
of myself to a woman, who never
felt it necessary to give more
than fifty percent to a relationship,
or return the love and respect to a
man who loves without compromise.

You really never knew me, for if
you had, you wouldn't have spent
so much valuable time trying to
find faults with me. You would have
used time wisely to strengthen my
good points to compliment yours.

You really didn't know me ...
and I feel sorry for you.


Love Don't Love Nobody

When a person tells you,
"I love you" or "I'm in love",
are they saying it with,
blessings from above?

Some used love loosely,
hoping to win attention.
Using it in relationships,
to camouflage a true intention.

Love is a dangerous word,
if passing lips unrestricted.
Persons using it intentionally,
hoping never to be contradicted.

Many have no guilt,
saying it with a straight face.
Using tears for insurance,
any time or any place.

No one can predict,
but time will tell.
If love is genuine,
or has intentions from hell.

Love don't love no body;
leaving you high and dry.
Love can change to hate,
if made to cry.

Love is a deadly word,
in the mouths of fools.
Intoxicated by its power,
the user has no rules.

Seldom do folks realize,
what damage is done.
When love betrays the heart,
pretending you're the one.

Love don't love no body,
as it rips a life apart.
Love don't love no body,
when it breaks your heart.


A Fool 's Mind

Too many times
fools find out too late,
a lover played them ...
next batter up to plate.

Used for pleasure,
just to kill some time,
lovers telling bold lies,
playing the fool's mind.

A fool's value is exposed,
when lies started to hurt;
Disrespect soon followed,
with treatment like dirt.

Making folks feel special ...
the players have perfected,
then comes abandonment,
when fools get rejected.

In a fool's mind,
fantasy is made real ...
when justifying bad treatment,
as part of the deal.

Accepting part time love,
to make ends meet,
being kicked to the curb,
like trash in the street.

A fool's mind in full denial ...
is writing's on the wall,
with many nights alone,
waiting for a call.

Ignoring family pleas,
to move on with their life,
settling for bullshit ways,
and dealing with strife.

No matter what fools do,
is never ever enough.
Catering to player's needs,
and buying them stuff.

Fools walk on hot coals,
chancing to hold hands,
playing the fool's part,
in another's foul plans.

The pain sometimes great,
when a fool discovers;
They're a link in a chain,
just one of many lovers.

Many times a fool's mind,
will mask what was done,
justifying it as mischief,
and the player having fun.


Couldn't Sleep Last Night

2:00 am in the morning,
no way to sleep.
My mind on everything,
except counting sheep.

So many nights alone,
wishing you were near.
The person of my desires,
whispering in my ear.

Needing to talk awhile,
my heart hurting so.
Trying to keep love warm,
so afraid you might go.

Many nights so restless,
wanting to hold you tight.
Desiring someone to love,
with tender warmth at night.

Dreading night to come,
emptiness is so unkind.
Missing the love shared,
wishing you were mine.


One Last Kiss

The last words,
I wanted to hear,
were so painful
and deafening to my ear.

Words cutting
just like a knife,
violating my heart
and ending my life.

Feelings now void,
that love is gone,
with defined closure,
I must go on.

My will too exhausted
to start love again,
my heart too weak,
even for a friend.

Feelings now locked,
from a lost key,
I now realize it's you
I really need.

If ever the chance,
to win you back,
you'll have all of me,
as a matter of fact.

I'll prove to you
it's your love, I miss,
if you allow me ...
'One Last Kiss'.


Did You Ever Love Me?

Did you ever love me,
did you even try?
Saying sweet things,
which ended up a lie.

I believed in you,
and the things said.
The words still fresh,
echoing in my head.

Stepping from safety,
your love, I wanted.
A world so strange,
my heart still haunted.

Feeling so betrayed,
by a good friend.
Who's love was tainted,
wearing a fake grin.

Questions were asked,
when words didn't match.
Having stealth behavior,
and lies I didn't catch.

Playing with feelings,
as if an instrument.
Treating me special,
appearing heaven sent.

Telling me things,
I wanted to hear.
Cuddling me in romance,
erasing my fear.

My heart was yours,
known from the start,
but you dropped the ball,
ripping me apart.

No more conversations,
nothing nice to say.
No more 'I love You's,'
to end the day.

My world a puzzle,
with a broken heart.
Did you ever love me
or just playing the part?


Read Between The Lines

So many times, I wanted to tell
you exactly how I felt. The many
times, I've left lines open for you to
fill ... If you knew the real message,
I couldn't tell ... Just wanting that
certain response, or the assuring
look in your eyes ...

Knowing you found happiness in
our times together and enjoyment
in our conversations. Whenever
I wrote words of my feelings; to tuck
you in and give comfort at night. You
would understand, who I am and what
you are to me. I wanted you to know
that, I've looked beyond your beauty
and found that special part of your
heart, where lies your real beauty.

The beauty that allows you to love
without compromise, give of yourself
without restriction and find that inner
Godly joy in helping others.

Know that, I truly understand where
you've been; seeing and feeling your
pain and the disappointments you've
gone through. Be aware, I've found the
keys to your soul, which control your
moods.

I've learned to pull you from the deepest
lows and give you wings to fly. Knowing
when to give you space and be there
to dry your eyes. Having an umbrella
under darkened skies. I know the special
dose of love, to fill your voids. Tempering
your anxiety and calming the showers of
love destroying asteroids.

If ever the time should come, or feeling
the time is right. I'll fill in the lines myself,
expressing what we need ...
'to get us through the night.'


Give Me Some Closure

Every story has an ending,
just like it has a beginning.
Like a baseball game,
from the first to ninth inning.

When it comes to relationships,
there's always a happy start.
People finding common joy,
exchanging words of the heart.

Sharing special times together,
and expressing needs.
Racing the highways of love
from slow to high speeds.

Sometimes ignoring signs,
with the right directions.
Even with flashing lights,
making no corrections.

Heading for a traffic jam,
on the road of romance.
Hoping we're not too late,
and given a second chance.

Competing in life's circle
flawed by design,
because love was unbalanced
and hard to find.

Somewhere in the forth inning,
there was a change of plan.
Your feelings now in question,
so where do I stand?

Left stranded on second base,
no chance to come home.
My world upside down,
no notice by letter or phone.

I trusted your heart
thinking feelings were real.
You were on a joyride,
just out for the thrill.

I was broken down,
but my engine is running.
Still having love in my heart,
for someone not so cunning.

If there's any decency left,
since the mental exposure.
Please relieved my pain ...
and 'GIVE ME SOME CLOSURE.'


A Fickle Type Love

Choices are made
when it comes to love.
Either its not working,
or fits like a glove.

Many make decisions,
based on looks.
While some will follow,
the lovers hand books.

Still others will try,
a scientific approach.
Using educated guessing
or side bar coach.

When decisions are made,
or the equation resolved;
Still the human factor,
has to be solved.

This is when attitudes,
come into play,
to how we accept changes
in a 24 hour day.

Will we break down,
or come out on top.
Continue on course,
or bring it to a stop.

Sometimes little things,
makes folks change.
They'll end relationships,
putting love out of range.

Some bounce around,
searching for a perfect fit.
Ignoring the facts,
they might be full of shit.

They'll 'butterfly' around,
using any type excuse.
Avoiding emotional ties ...
just in it for sexual use.

These people trap hearts,
in a very cunning way.
Telling words of love;
their form of foreplay.

A fickle type love,
no remorse for their action.
Changing feelings like seasons,
waiting for the next attraction.


If You Need Me Now

Whenever you'd called,
I was always there.
The one who loved you,
with tender loving care.

I know you used me,
but that's what I wanted.
Even friends remarked,
how it was flaunted.

I was so giving,
you almost use me up.
Publicly putting me down,
and showing your butt.

Prancing without a care,
because I had your back.
No sense of danger,
or fear of attack.

I was always there,
whenever having a need,
wanting us to be lovers
and good friends indeed.

However things changed
maybe for the better.
Having it written out,
in the form of a letter.

Expressing lost feelings,
and sense of neglect.
How people are outgrown
and lack of respect.

Sometimes losing interest
and the lack of love.
Many letters contain,
all that listed above.

Whatever the reasons,
ours just simply died.
My heart now on empty,
because of tears I cried.

Remembering the laughter,
and crazy things done.
Our walks in the park,
or just having fun.

Tender moments shared,
watching as you slept.
Love songs exchanged.
the secrets we kept.

Now all that's gone,
but we'll make it somehow.
However I'm still here ...
If you need me now.


When I needed You

Time has passed,
since we were one.
Once so inseparable,
now our ties undone.

Having your back,
when danger was near.
If needing to vent ...
I would lend an ear.

Providing you shelter,
in the mist of a storm.
Your cover and blanket,
to keep you warm.

Always being there,
if needing to be held.
Offering you friendship,
tighter than a weld.

Never asking anything,
or favor in return.
My love for you,
would never adjourn.

I was with you,
through thick and thin.
someone special,
not just a friend.

Trusting your words,
were from the heart.
Giving you loyalty
from the very start.

Challenging my feelings,
to take us higher ...
To ultimately discover,
you were such a liar.

Selfishness, the game ...
you played it well.
My heart was broken
couldn't you tell?

Left all alone,
with no one there.
Needing a friend,
or someone to care.

Searching for comfort,
or a kind word or two.
What happened....
when I needed you?


(Continues...)

Excerpted from "Listen to My Soul" by GERALD W. JONES. Copyright © 2014 Gerald W. Jones. Excerpted by permission of AuthorHouse.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

Table of Contents

Contents

Acknowledgments, v,
Book Reviews, vii,
Chapter 1 Broken Trust,
1. What Feelings I Have Left, 3,
2. The Price of Love, 5,
3. Did You Really Know me?, 8,
4. Love Don't Love Nobody, 12,
5. A Fool's Mind, 14,
6. Couldn't Sleep Last Night, 16,
7. One Last Kiss, 17,
8. Did You Ever Love Me?, 19,
9. Read Between The Lines, 21,
10. Give Me Some Closure, 23,
11. A Fickle Type Love, 25,
12. If You Need Me Now, 27,
13. When I needed You, 29,
14. Did You Feel Sorry?, 31,
15. True Friends Don't, 33,
16. When Love Is Gone, 35,
17. The Ugly Part Of Love, 37,
18. What's Behind Your Smile?, 39,
19. If I Could Get Back Yesterday, 41,
20. Broken Man Down, 43,
21. Be Careful Who You Love, 45,
22. The Price Of Cheating, 47,
23. What We Never Had, 49,
24. Pieces Of A Broken Heart, 51,
25. Toxic Love, 53,
26. With Love Comes Pain, 55,
27. Love Never Came, 58,
28. No More Than Friends, 60,
Chapter 2 Unanswered Questions,
29. You Can't Deny, 65,
30. Deep Water, 67,
31. IF, 68,
32. Your Worth, 70,
33. After The First Kiss, 72,
34. Why I Write Poems Of Love, 74,
35. My Place In Your Heart, 77,
36. So Many Questions, 79,
37. Predicting Rain Without Looking Outside, 82,
38. Love's Equation, 85,
39. Words of the Heart, 87,
40. Will You Forget?, 90,
41. Love Doesn't Tell Time, 92,
42. If We Find The Magic, 94,
43. Who Do I Lean On?, 96,
44. No Love/No Loyalty, 98,
45. Images in the Home, 100,
46. What About Love, 102,
47. If The Pieces Fit, 104,
48. Then And Only Then, 106,
49. Let Me Address My Feelings, 108,
50. You Seem so Distant, 110,
51. Something Missing, 112,
52. In Every Song, I Sing, 114,
53. If Wasting My Time, 116,
54. Maybe I'm Afraid, 118,
55. When Morning Comes, 120,
56. Keys to Communication, 122,
Chapter 3 Painful Endings,
57. Thinking about you Lately, 127,
58. Thug Type Romance, 128,
59. When Angels Cry, 131,
60. I Don't Want to Give You Up, 134,
61. Two Different Worlds, 136,
62. I Thought She Was An Angel138,
63. Emotional Death, 141,
64. If I Give My Heart, 143,
65. Make The Pain Go Away, 145,
66. Pins And Needles, 147,
67. Running With Your Demons, 149,
68. In My Darkest Moments, 151,
69. Dirty Feet, 153,
70. Too Close For Comfort, 155,
71. If Love Doesn't Get It, 157,
72. Next Time We'll Dance, 159,
73. Next Step, 161,
74. The Last Scenario, 163,
75. To Never Cry Again, 165,
76. Wanting Too Much, 167,
77. For A Heart Weeps, 169,
78. As Bad As, I Wanted It, 171,
79. Love Don't Count Me Out, 174,
80. Love In The Ninth Inning, 176,
81. You Didn't Love Me That Much, 178,
82. Dirty Laundry, 180,
Chapter 4 Learning of Life,
83. Secrets of the Night, 185,
84. Crack Head Charlie, 187,
85. Monsters In The Closet, 189,
86. Rollin' With My Posse, 191,
87. My Girlfriend ... My Best Friend, 193,
88. My Talk With God, 195,
89. I'll Teach You Love Again, 197,
90. Song Bird, 199,
91. Colored Girl, 202,
92. For Love Or Money, 204,
93. In Death's Doorway, 207,
94. You Don't Have To Guess, 209,
95. When You're Weak, I'll Be Strong, 211,
96. A Color Divided, 213,
97. Man of Courage, 215,
98. Man with a Dream, 217,
99. If Love Isn't Enough, 220,
100. Back Rubs and Bubble Baths, 222,
101. Big Shoes, Little Feet, 223,
102. Beauty Shop Gossip, 225,
103. A Man's Femininity, 227,
104. Satisfy A Woman ... Please A Lady, 229,
105. High Top Sneakers, 232,
106. Your Scent Upon My Skin, 235,
107. Awakening A Woman's Love, 237,
108. First To Say Goodbye, 240,
109. Touching A Woman's Heart, 242,
110. The Man In Gator Shoes, 244,
111. Love Has No Script, 246,
112. A Woman's Libido, 248,
113. The Scent Upon My pillow, 251,
114. A Hennessy Moment, 253,
115. Last Time, You Called Me Baby, 255,
116. Inscriptions Of The Heart, 258,
117. Vaginal Atrophy, 260,
118. Pot Belly Men In Speedos, 263,
119. Broken Women, 265,

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