Living and Loving Better with Time Perspective Therapy: Healing from the Past, Embracing the Present, Creating an Ideal Future

Living and Loving Better with Time Perspective Therapy: Healing from the Past, Embracing the Present, Creating an Ideal Future

by Philip G. Zimbardo, Rosemary K.M. Sword

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Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781476672502
Publisher: Exposit Books
Publication date: 11/01/2017
Pages: 216
Sales rank: 766,596
Product dimensions: 5.80(w) x 8.70(h) x 0.60(d)

About the Author

Stanford University professor emeritus Philip G. Zimbardo is known for his landmark prison study, dramatized in the IFC film The Stanford Prison Experiment. His nonprofit Heroic Imagination Project teaches how to meet challenges with wise and effective action. He lives in San Francisco. Rosemary K.M. Sword is the author of numerous ­TPT-related articles, coauthor of a popular PsychologyToday.com blog, and the developer of ­TPT-based Aetas: Mind Balancing Apps for mobile devices. She lives in Makawao, Hawaii.

Table of Contents

Table of Contents


Acknowledgments xi

Introduction 1

1: How Your Time Perspective Affects Your Life 5

• The Cornerstones of Negativity 8

• Stress: The Mother of Our Ailments 9

• Anxiety: The Child of Stress 9

• Depression: The Stepchild of Stress 11

• The Genesis of Time Perspectives 12

• Take This Quiz 14

• Six Main Time Perspectives 15

• A Balanced Time Perspective Leads to Greater Stability 17

• Positive Effects 19

2: How Your Time Perspective Causes Toxic Relationships—and What You Can Do 21

• The Many Faces of Toxic Relationships 21

• Past Negative Time Perspective and the Toxic Relationship 22

• The Narcissistic Personality 22

• Stuffing Emotions 25

• Five Signs You’re in a Toxic Relationship 27

• What Happened to Jennifer? 28

• The Passive Aggressive Response 29

• Bully Behavior Begets ­Passive-Aggressive Behavior 30

• Preventive Measures—Healthy Ways to Respond 33

• Don’t Confuse Social Grace with ­Passive-Aggressive Behavior 35

• Secrets and Lies 36

• Lying Starts at a Young Age 37

• But What About Secret Agents and Those Dudes

with Secret Multiple Families? 38

• Five Steps to End a Toxic Relationship 40

• Let Go of the Negative Past and Give Love Permission

to Enter Your Life 42

3: Bullies and Their Victims 43

• What’s Up with Bullies? 43

• What About the Victims? 48

• Identifying Potential Bully Victims 50

• A Case History of Schoolyard Bullying 51

• Workplace Bullying 57

• Extreme Bullying 61

• Hate Crimes and a Hero 66

• The Most Powerful Tool: Education 67

4: Shunning—The Ultimate Rejection 70

• Enduring Damage 71

• Cooperation in Primate Societies 73

• Jane Goodall Weighs In 73

• A Giant Leap in Shunning 75

• A Case of Religious Shunning 77

• Workplace Shunning Cases 78

• The Feeling of “Lack” 79

• How to Take Control 80

5: Sex and Time Perspectives 83

• Past Negative: Sex Wasn’t a Good Experience 85

• Past Positive: Man! That Was Good! 86

• Present Hedonism: Let’s Do It—Now! 87

• Present Fatalism: What Will Be Will Be 89

• Future Sex: Fear of the Unknown 90

• Future Transcendental 91

• What’s an Ideal Sex Time Perspective? 92

• Men, Sex and Their Time Perspectives 93

• Women, Sex and Their Time Perspectives 97

• The Prognosis Is Very Good 104

6: Parenting and Time Perspectives 105

• Unconditional Love 105

• Parental Anxiety 106

• Modern Stressors 106

• Discipline 108

• Boundaries 112

• The Working Mom 112

• The Working Dad 113

• Finding Balance 114

• Single Parenting 116

• Empty Nest Syndrome 122

• Opportunities Abound 125

7: How Stress Affects Your Time Perspective— and What You Can Do 127

• Stress and Your Heart 128

• Stress and Hurry Sickness 132

• Seasonal Stress—Holiday Blues or Seasonal Affective

Disorder? 137

• Food and Stress 142

• The Stress of Unnatural Behavior in Modern Culture 146

• The Bystander Effect 147

• Diffusing the Stress of a Heavy Conscience 151

8: Happiness and Living a Meaningful Life 156

• The Pursuit of Happiness 157

• The Search for Meaning 158

• Happiness versus Meaning 158

• Are You a Plus or a Minus? 159

• Right Livelihood 163

• Living a Meaningful Life 166

• Kindness Is Key 167

• Time Perspectives and How We View the World 168

• Love Is Kindness and Kindness Is Power 169

• Your Time Has Come 172

Epilogue: The Future of Therapy 177

Glossary 183

Appendix: ZTPI Questionnaire 185

Resources 195

Index 197

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