Living Happily Ever After--Separately

Living Happily Ever After--Separately

by Lise Stryker Stoessel

Paperback

$15.95
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Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780983826415
Publisher: Brandylane Publishers, Incorporated
Publication date: 11/01/2011
Pages: 112
Sales rank: 582,067
Product dimensions: 0.27(w) x 5.50(h) x 8.50(d)

About the Author

Lise Stryker Stoessel earned her bachelor's degree in social welfare, specializing in mental health, from Stony Brook University in 1976. She received a master's degree in Waldorf Early Childhood Education from Sunbridge College in 2006. Lise has written articles and given numerous talks on a wide variety of issues related to parenting and self-development. Living Happily Ever After—Separately is her first book.

What People are Saying About This

Tziporah
Rosenberg

Poignant and insightful work.... It's about hope, and learning through living, and trying again.... I applaud her and her family's bravery and would gladly recommend this read to individuals and couples on the brink who are not quite ready to throw in the towel (or who at least wonder if there are any options of last resort). There are certainly some pearls of wisdom and beacons of hope in here for them. (Tziporah Rosenberg, Ph.D. Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist)

Catherine Johnston

In sharing her personal journey, Ms. Stoessel presents a creative approach to salvaging love and commitment, the essence of marriage, when living together is eroding this as well as one's sense of self.... I'll be giving it to clients struggling in their marriages and considering divorce when there's still some love, trust and respect, but too much sacrifice of self involved in living together. (Catherine Johnston, Ph.D. psychologist)

Annmarie Early

Living Happily Ever After—Separately is a rich account of honoring the profound call to connection that doesn't fit neatly into our culturally prescribed boxes. Ms. Stoessel's commitment to her soul call as a guiding purpose for these connections and her unique way of honoring both her own voice and her enduring love for connection with her family is a powerful testimony that can offer creative alternatives for individuals looking for hope and professionals walking with people facing relationship distress. (Annmarie Early, Ph.D. Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist)

Mary Elizabeth Marlow

This beautifully written book is the soulful journey of a couple who, rather than settling for a dysfunctional marriage or divorce, have trail-blazed a third way—living separately and keeping the family unit together—a creative possibility for couples wrestling with two unacceptable choices. (Mary Elizabeth Marlow, author of JUMPING MOUSE: A Story About Inner Trust)

K. Catherine Albano

'Irreconcilable differences' are the cause of thousands of divorces in this country, as the common separation agreement will attest to. This book demonstrates that irreconcilable differences can lead to an outcome other than divorce.... [Stoessel's] story gives us hope, enlightens our imagination, and strengthens our resolve to create something new for ourselves when our relationship is faltering, rather than letting it end. For anyone thinking divorce is the only way out—read Stoessel's story, and think again. (K. Catherine Albano, family law attorney, mediator)

Susan Oberman

This book speaks for a generation that was determined to do things better than their parents, to be true to themselves in achieving personal goals and creating loving families—to have it all.... Lise Stryker Stoessel gives us a glimpse into the pain and joys of her generation's struggle in the family with gender roles, financial realities, and the lack of models for positive alternatives to the patriarchal model.... The hope we find here is that it isn't too late; the 'boomers' are still working on changing old and destructive patterns that have kept past generations from both freedom as individuals and the connection we long for with others. Getting past the either/or thinking that has told us we must resign ourselves to what is, or reject it totally, opens up new possibilities for creative and fulfilling relationships, families, and communities. (Susan Oberman, family and community mediator)

Tziporah Rosenberg

Poignant and insightful work.... It's about hope, and learning through living, and trying again.... I applaud her and her family's bravery and would gladly recommend this read to individuals and couples on the brink who are not quite ready to throw in the towel (or who at least wonder if there are any options of last resort). There are certainly some pearls of wisdom and beacons of hope in here for them. (Tziporah Rosenberg, Ph.D. Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist)

Arielle Ford

Happily ever after doesn't always have to mean living under the same roof! This enlightening and useful book offers an alternative approach to marriage in the 21st century for those who love their spouse but can't stand living with them! (Arielle Ford, author of The Soulmate Secret)

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Living Happily Ever After--Separately 4 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 2 reviews.
AuthorMomCC More than 1 year ago
I would give this book a 3.5 not quite 4 stars. It was a quick and easy read. The author voiced a lot of concerns that married couples with some problems go through. The author and her husband found something that worked for their relationship. She does point out that this "option" is not for everyone and suggests counseling and/or support when considering living apart. This is not a how-to manual. It is the author sharing her experiences and hoping to help others consider something other than divorce especially if the couple still loves one another and are committed. She does discuss spirituality briefly and its relationship to the individual and joining lives with another, but it is not overbearing or preachy. The book reads more like an article series and not really a complete self-help book . This a nice, light read.I would give this book a 3.5 not quite 4 stars. It was a quick and easy read. The author voiced a lot of concerns that married couples with some problems go through. The author and her husband found something that worked for their relationship. She does point out that this "option" is not for everyone and suggests counseling and/or support when considering living apart. This is not a how-to manual. It is the author sharing her experiences and hoping to help others consider something other than divorce especially if the couple still loves one another and are committed. She does discuss spirituality briefly and its relationship to the individual and joining lives with another, but it is not overbearing or preachy. The book reads more like an article series and not really a complete self-help book . This a nice, light read. Reviewed by Cherese Vines
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
As a psychotherapist and a married person, I love this book! One of the things I loved and was struck by while reading it is the way in which the author takes responsibility for her part in what isn't working in the marriage and avoids falling into the BLAME trap. Ms. Stoessel is remarkably respectful of each family member's unique perspective; something rarely found when couples are embroiled in conflict. In a culture where people and issues have become polarized and we want things to be black and white, Ms. Stoessel offers a picture that demonstrates the reality that life is actually mostly gray! I think more than ever, we crave the simplicity of blame where one person is good and the other is bad as a way to explain our predicaments, to justify negative emotions and to try to navigate through difficult decisions. Today's conflicted marriages are often a reflection of the larger culture in which the two sides are so polarized that nothing good can happen and where blaming the other seems to be the only tool being used to address individual unhappiness and to try to get what one wants. Of course this will never work because when relationships (and indeed society) are polarized it's like a tug-of-war--neither side gets what they want AND there is a great deal of agony and exhaustion in the process! In this wonderful book, Ms. Stoessel shows us that it's possible for both "sides" to drop the rope and find another, more peaceful (and ultimately satisfying!) solution. Ms. Stoessel's process of coming to the decision to stay married but to live separately was not an easy or painless undertaking. But in the end, it's clear that it is wisdom and having compassion for both herself and for her husband that are the guiding tools that lead to happiness and satisfaction for all concerned.