Living with the Passive-Aggressive Man: Coping with Hidden Aggression--from the Bedroom to

Living with the Passive-Aggressive Man: Coping with Hidden Aggression--from the Bedroom to

by Scott Wetzler
4.2 18

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Living with the Passive-Aggressive Man: Coping with Hidden Aggression--from the Bedroom to by Scott Wetzler

With more than 100,000 copies in print, Living with the Passive-Aggressive Man draws on case histories from clinical psychologist Scott Wetzler’s practice to help you identify the destructive behavior, the root causes and motivations, and solutions.

Do you know one of these men?

The catch-me-if-you-can lover...

Phil’s romantic and passionate one minute, distant and cold the next.

The deviously manipulative coworker or boss...

Jack denies resenting Nora’s rapid rise in the company, but when they’re assigned to work together on a project, he undermines her.

The obstructionist, procrastinating husband...

Bob keeps telling his wife he’ll finish the painting job he began years ago, but he never seems to get around to it.

These are all classic examples of the passive-aggressive man. This personality syndrome—in which hostility wears a mask of passivity—is currently the number one source of men’s problems in relationships and on the job. In Living with the Passive-Aggressive Man, Scott Wetzler draws upon numerous case histories from his own practice to explain how and why the passive-aggressive man thinks, feels, and acts the way he does. Dr. Wetzler also offers advice on:

• How to avoid playing victim, manager, or rescuer to the “P-A”
• How to get his anger and fear into the open
• How to help the “P-A” become a better lover, husband, and father
• How to survive passive-aggressive game playing on the job

Living with a man’s passive aggression can be an emotional seesaw ride. But armed with this book, you can avoid the bumpy landings.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781451640175
Publisher: Touchstone
Publication date: 01/18/2011
Format: NOOK Book
Pages: 208
Sales rank: 146,398
File size: 2 MB

About the Author

Scott Wetzler, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist in private practice in New York and associate professor of psychiatry at Albert Einstein College of Medicine, Montefiore Medical Center. He lives in New York City.

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Living with the Passive-Aggressive Man 4.2 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 18 reviews.
BarbaraR More than 1 year ago
Every woman who has ever felt confused, misled, dominated, or manipulated by her date, fiance, or husband MUST read this book. Dr. Wetzler seals the deal (to marry or not to marry)by informing the reader of classic manipulative techniques that passive aggressive men use. My copy is highlighted and dog-eared. I've bought it for at least 5 women who thanked me ceaselessly. Dr. Wetzler gives instructions on "how to avoid playing victim, manager, or rescuer to the "P-A"---this I did without even knowing they were destructive roles (to me). This Ph.D. provides credible research and case studies. Page one begins with teaching what this man is like and moves forward into topics that include sex, family and parenting with a "P-A Man". The author gave such vivid examples of passive aggressive behavior I wrote in the margin once, "Author must have lived in our house!"I thought I was doing the right thing. After all, I was trying to save a marriage, how wrong could that be since the whole world viewed my ex as the quintessential 'nice guy'. But behind closed doors..... I didn't find this book until after my divorce from 20 years of passive aggresive treatment. Dr. Wetzler helped me heal myself and understand all his 'tricks' so I'd never fall for them again with anyone, man or woman.
Pagesculptor More than 1 year ago
I learned tons from this book. I felt relieved to know that I wasn't crazy when my co-worker would pull aggravating stuff mentioned in this book. I used to get so emotionally wrapped up in the mixed messages. Now that I know what motivates them I don't take it personally and have moved on to some extent. I did feel this book focused too much on appeasing the passive aggressive man, which doesn't really accomplish anything. From my experience it might be a rough ride confronting them, but it will make things better in the long run.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
For the first time I didn't feel crazy. The information applies to all partnered relationships.
Guest More than 1 year ago
an excellent read. Concise, accurate, revealing to the spouse of a passive aggressive partner, who continuously seeks to make things work, but never seems able. Most importantly, the realization that it is not my fault, not even our fault...the reality is, it is your fault, or at least your issue. The passive aggressive partner seems very much like the alcoholic partner. The title implies, however, that this arrangement only exists when the husband is passive aggressive and the wife is the victim...take it from me, it can happen the other way around. Still not quite clear how my spouse got to where she is, nor how to help remedy the is unlikely she'll go for therapy; setting boundaries is apparently a necessary evil in terms of making these relationships work...seems odd to base a marriage on setting boundaries, but it is what it is. A must read. Uplifting yet depressing at the same time. Again,many parallels to living with an alcoholic, or so it seems.
Guest More than 1 year ago
This book, for me, reads like a journal. It provided insight, validation, and answers to the many questions that I had about my ex-husband's behavior. Had I read this book 18 years ago, I would have never married him. This book is definitely an eye-opener!
Guest More than 1 year ago
The book boils down to only two choices = you can leave your passive aggressive man, or you can try to rebuild his tender (but broken) ego while setting boundries for the relationship. A good read that at the very least will give you insight to his behavior (and God knows he can't give you that insight!!!!!!!!)
Guest More than 1 year ago
I had no idea what my husband's 'problem' was until I read this book. It totally explains his behavior over and over again!! It says that living with a man like this is "maddening" and "impossible" which are terms I've used repeatedly. If nothing more, it took the blame off me and made me realize its HIS issue, not mine.
Guest More than 1 year ago
I couldn't believe my eyes. I have been trying to deal with this type of person for almost 8 years. It really explains alot. I recommend this book to anyone who has fell for this type of person. I do wish it explained more about dealing with this type of personality. For the most part a real eye opener.
Guest More than 1 year ago
I didn't know just what P/A behavior was - until I read this book. The author lays out descriptive example after example of this behavior with such clarity I almost believed he intimately knew the person with whom I was dealing. It was simultaneously eye-opening and validating. I highy recommend it. I was somewhat disappointed that there were not more suggestions or examples of how to deal with this type of person. Is there a way for the P/A person to unlearn his behavior and learn to trust?
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Gives real life examples, no matter what your age, or involvement with a passive aggressive man.  Helpful to see all sides.
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Guest More than 1 year ago
Living with the Passive Aggressive Man is extremely useful in giving a name to specific behaviors, and will indeed let the reader know if she is involved with a man who has passive aggressive tendencies. However, it doesn't address passive aggression as abuse to any extent. In fact, it could encourage the reader to stay with an abusive passive aggressive partner and endure more emotional damage. The book also gives a lot of information on how the partner of the passive aggressive person can change their behavior. However, the problem is not the behavior of the partner, it's the behavior of the passive aggressive person.