Losing Ground

Losing Ground

by Lorraine Carey


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Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781463407667
Publisher: AuthorHouse
Publication date: 06/08/2011
Pages: 76
Product dimensions: 6.00(w) x 9.00(h) x 0.16(d)

Read an Excerpt

Losing Ground

By Lorraine Carey


Copyright © 2011 Lorraine Carey
All right reserved.

ISBN: 978-1-4634-0766-7

Chapter One


July 12, 2009 finds me sitting here in my new condo on Grand Cayman in the Cayman Islands. If someone would have told me last year that I would be here today, I would have not believed it, given the fact that my husband Jay and I went through a living 'hell' the previous year.

I do believe one of the reasons I have come to this beautiful island is to be able to write this story for you. This will be the kind of place that will inspire me to write. As my husband said just the other day as we were lying on the beach, "This is the kind of place that will soothe your soul." I knew he was right. I do believe that the angels along with my mother are guiding me to write this book. It is not only to tell my story but to help others confirm the fact that our lives are driven by a divine purpose and to know that life is ever changing and ever so unpredictable.

My journey had led me on a spiritual path of many years, but has gotten stronger with each twist and turn. True divine guidance has definitely played a part in my husband and me moving here. Coincidence—I think not! I have come to realize that this purposeful journey and my purpose have been planned out way beyond my control. The awakening to this path had come into play say in the last two years and especially in the last year as I had experienced the death of both of my beloved parents within three weeks apart, along with a mother-in-law, and three other members of my husband's family. Also within the last six months my husband and I both lost our jobs. The teaching profession in which I was in was in a dire straight and I was aware that I would be getting let go, but my husband's job loss came at quite a surprise.

For the past two years Jay and I were enjoying the rich life of southern California where we lived in an upscale neighborhood in Orange County with our dog Molly. Our two daughters also resided in California. Angela, the oldest lives in Los Angeles with her husband Mitchell, and Courtney in San Diego with her husband Craig. Both girls are newly married, all employed and very happy.

I come from a very small family with one brother remaining in Arizona. We were raised in a small town in Ohio where I came to meet my husband. Shortly after our marriage we had moved to Arizona. My brother Michael had decided to move out to Arizona also. I did not realize it at that time but my feet would not touch the ground for many years to follow. My parents were devastated when I had moved but much more when Michael moved out. They continued to visit us frequently. They themselves had tried several moves out to Arizona to be near us but missed Ohio and would return.

Chapter Two

Mysterious Knick Knack

Being the year 1961 and myself eight years old I was already known as a shopaholic. We had a dime store in the plaza that was just around the corner from our home. My mother had sent me and some of my friends to go to the market and get something for supper, I cannot remember quite what it was but I will always remember the unplanned stop I had made to the Ben Franklin next door to the market. I don't remember how I came upon this item, but it would create its own drama in the upcoming years. A small ceramic lady, dark brown in color caught my eye. She was just there by herself. She was only about three and a half inches high, holding a brown pot with an insert for a small candle. She was covered in white polka dots. I do believe that I paid $9.00 for her, not knowing how outrageous that was for this item back in those days.

Upon my return home my mother was quite upset that I had gone into the store and decided to purchase this odd looking knick knack all by myself without her permission. When she found out that it was $9.00 she knew that either the store had made a mistake or she thought that it must have been part of a set or some sort. My mother and I went back over to the Ben Franklin and she had asked to see the manager. He said that they did not carry that item and did not even know where it came from! My mother had argued with them, but to no avail they said that it was not in their inventory and do not know how it got on the shelf. I knew that it was placed up in the front of the store on one of the glass display shelves.

From that day on my mother decided to keep the little brown lady as a reminder of that shopping trip. As I got older I would look at the little brown doll and wonder what on earth ever instilled me to buy her? Little did I know that it held the key to what was ahead for me some forty eight years later.

Chapter Three

Family Gifts

I need to mention here that on my mother's side of the family we are very spiritual in the sense that we (meaning me, my mother, one of her sisters, their mother, and her mother) had very intuitive gifts. I was to find out much later in life that when one does pass on, the other seems to receive a much stronger sense of intuition, (say kind of the Highlander Effect). I guess that is what happened to my mother, and especially with me. My mother was a very special person, one who could predict things and be right on the money. She would always say she was 'witchy'. She would often say to me that I had a calling and every time we had moved, she said that there was a reason. Well back in the eighties I didn't really have that way of thinking.

I was raised with a strong Catholic background although my family was open to beliefs such as angels, past lives, dream coding, astral traveling and other new age visions. We were kind of ahead of our time. My mother was psychic as she was told, as do all of us have the power, only if we learn to harness it. Many family members had been astral traveling, but not really knowing how much power they really had. It was only during these last two years that I became strongly interested in angels, guides and manifesting. Certain events led me to reach out and gain more knowledge on these subjects. Somehow the Universe was preparing me for what was to come.

When I was a young girl I had experienced such strange out of body occurrences. I was petrified as I didn't know what was happening to me as they started one day as I was sitting in a fifth grade classroom. My face turned pale and I began to feel like I was floating and the strangest feeling of becoming unconnected came over me. I could feel something pulling my body. I could see myself sitting at my desk as I was in the back of the room. As I struggled to come out of this feeling, I quickly rushed off to the see the school nurse. My mother had taken me to several doctors at that time, but back then in the early sixties they just said that it was nerves and prescribed some mild tranquilizers.

These out of body occurrences felt as if my spirit would leave and I could feel my body go to the back of the room. It seemed as though time would be in slow motion. Usually this would last for a few hours. Each time I would panic praying for it to end. I endured these up until graduation from college in 1976. I later came to find out that other close family members had the gift of astral travel. I now knew that it was my spirit freeing itself, but I was too scared and tried to halt this strange experience!

Chapter Four

The Calling Begins

Shortly after we were married in 1976 Jay and I moved to Phoenix, Arizona to be closer to my husband's father who had recently remarried. I took a job as a roaming substitute teacher and enjoyed the variety of schools and different cultures of children. As my mother would say, "Someone out there needs you, and there is a reason." I was offered a position for a fourth grade class where the previous two teachers had quit. Yes, the class was that difficult! I was hesitant to accept, but my husband told me that it would be a challenge to get them into shape. I accepted and had encountered round the clock bedlam from there. It was common for a fight to break out at least once a week. The counselor always told me that she was always there for support. I was young and wanted to conquer it on my own. By the end of the year those students had come a long way!

Let's talk here about Katy Nelson. Katy was another teacher whose room was adjacent to mine. She was not much liked by the other staff members, and I would soon come to find out why. On many occasions I would enter her room to find the students' assignments on the board, and Katy at her desk writing out her bills, or shopping from a catalog. Her students would come up to me and say, "Mrs. C, can you help us?" One day another teacher had written a note about what an awful teacher she was and handed it to one of her students to bring to me, well, the student delivered that note to Katy. An all out war had begun between those two teachers and I was in the midst of it, let alone my students.

Katy and I were expecting our first child at the same time so we had bonded. I had felt sorry for her as she was having a tough year, a difficult marriage and health issues. I frequently found myself bailing her out of lots of issues.

During that year I gave birth to my first child, Angela. She was my true little bundle of joy. I struggled to work and find day care at this time. I could not afford the luxury of staying home, so Angela was shuffled about with various sitters. Every day at work was challenging as I had a difficult class and constant worries about leaving a new baby.

Over the next four years I had the opportunity to become a Reading Program Specialist and transferred to another school within the same school district. This time I was given a small backroom that was attached to another grade one classroom where I quickly befriended a very troubled teacher, Jasmine. She was having marital problems and health issues at that time. During the course of the year she became suicidal. One morning I came to find her in a dark room huddled in the corner muttering suicidal comments. I quickly dashed for the principal, who was very empathic and they sent her home for a week. Upon her return I was called upon to assist her in any way and I did so.

It was during this time that I was blessed with a second angel, Courtney. Once again, I was trying to juggle career and family. Jay was busy working in management for a grocery chain and running an air conditioning business.

A situation occurred where I had a better opportunity to transfer to another school where I would have a full time position as one of the head reading masters. They assigned me to a room out in a portable where I would share with another teacher, Ellen, who was teaching a difficult grade four class. There was a petition wall between us but it came tumbling down many times, as her students would knock it over due to frequent bouts of brawls. Ellen had a tough time enforcing discipline in that class. I would be trying to hold a reading session with a group and was interrupted often to go over and bail her out so she could leave the room to get some needed air.

I was aware of a certain smell, one of the kind of after shave smell that began to come on with a vengeance and follow me for the next week or so. I would come into the portable in the morning and ask Ellen if she had smelled it and she couldn't. I even asked other teachers if they could smell it and it was undetectable. When I mentioned it my mom she said she felt it was my grandfather, as he always wore after shave. She said that I was always his favorite. Shortly after I had this talk with my mom the scent left. It probably was grandpa letting me know he was there with me.

During that year Ellen was given a pink slip from our principal, which stated that she would most likely not be hired back next year. This only fueled her fire, as she became more emotional and took it out on the students. One day I heard her slamming books down on the ground. I quickly came to her aid, phoned her husband at work and he came to take her home for a few days and get some help. Upon her return I was there for some support and a shoulder to cry on.

My mother kept telling me that for some reason I was drawn to these types of personalities, or they were drawn to me? She would always say that I was sent there for a reason. Maybe so, but it did not register so strongly with me at that present time. Was this a pattern? My mother and I loved to share stories of the paranormal sense. She was a strong believer in angels and guides also. It seemed as though just as I had my feet on the ground and settled, I was moved about again.

Chapter Five

On the Move

My husband had been working for a company which was family owned and not much room for him to grow, as he was at the top of his level of management. He was offered a management level position with a top level retailer in Albuquerque, New Mexico. It would be hard to leave behind our oldest, Angela, now entering Arizona State and pretty much on her own. It seems as though she was just a baby a short time ago. My brother Michael was very upset, but again, supportive of the move. Courtney, was still in middle school and was upset about losing all her friends, but knew that it was a good move for the family. Mom and Dad were also concerned, but as my mother always said, "There is a reason for this move and someone probably needs you." My parents had tried to relocate in Arizona to be closer to us, only to move back to Ohio due to homesickness. I always begged them to come out to live with us, but they knew we would be on the move and they were not up to that. We flew to Albuquerque and fell in love with this magical city.

Our first weeks were kind of tough, Courtney came down with a bad case of bronchitis, Jay was working a lot of hours and I was left to unpack and begin to look for work—or was it about to look for me?

I began to substitute teach in a public school in Rio Rancho and was soon offered a position for a grade one classroom, as reading specialist positions were not on the market there. I accepted and had a pretty good year. I was partnered up with Sarah, a young first year teacher in the adjoining room. She was also going through a tough marriage, and very unstable and emotional. Seeing a pattern here? I soon became to hear and feel those words from my mom about a purposeful journey setting in. We became friends, as I needed a friend also. She was great at math, and that was my weakness. I took over the reading end of it. We quickly decided to team teach, and became a powerhouse at it!

The following year the principal had decided to create a position for me where I could teach reading, but it would be only half time. I jumped at the offer!!! I was assigned an aide, Maureen, one who was at the school for some time and was not at all liked by most of the staff. I would soon come to find out why.

That next year we would become best friends as she would confide in me all of her troubles and I would of course listen. I could see that there were many issues there and some I came to find out I did not want to be associated with. After being with her I would often feel totally exhausted, as I did in the past when dealing with such people who would emotionally attach themselves to me. She would appear at my door many times in the middle of one of my reading sessions needing help.

As for enjoying New Mexico and all of its enchantment, we did Much exploring into the old churches, mystical sites and other beautiful places to visit. My mom and dad came out and we took them to see many of the old churches and places of worship. My mother fell in love with Taos, well, who wouldn't. I believe it was somewhere here where I began to feel a sense of some sort of spiritual guidance and purpose. As you have heard many times, there is just something very spiritual about New Mexico. You really never know it until you live there to experience it.


Excerpted from Losing Ground by Lorraine Carey Copyright © 2011 by Lorraine Carey. Excerpted by permission of AuthorHouse. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
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