Love at First Fight: 52 Story-Based Meditations for Married Couples

Love at First Fight: 52 Story-Based Meditations for Married Couples

by Dena Dyer, Carey Dyer

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Overview

Love at First Fight: 52 Story-Based Meditations for Married Couples by Dena Dyer, Carey Dyer

Find Hope, Humor, and Truth for Your Marriage

"Approaching the seriousness of marriage in a lighthearted manner, Carey and Dena Dyer help couples laugh through the tears, accept each other's flaws, and love each other through it all."
–Michelle Lazurek, Author of An Invitation to the Table

Love at First Fight
is a book that will give your marriage encouragement and hope if you find that the once endearing, charming, and distinct qualities that once attracted you to your spouse are now a source of stress and conflict.

In sharing humorous, personal stories from both the male and female perspective, husband and wife writing team Carey and Dena Dyer will help you discover that a fun, resilient, fulfilling marriage can be realized through hard work, forgiveness, God’s grace, and a sense of humor.

Learn how to strengthen your marriage with these fifty-two conversational meditations that begin with scripture, end with prayers, and include practical action steps to develop a deeper connection with your spouse.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781634097802
Publisher: Barbour Publishing, Incorporated
Publication date: 09/01/2016
Pages: 192
Product dimensions: 5.20(w) x 7.90(h) x 0.40(d)

Read an Excerpt

Love at First Fight

52 Story-Based Meditations for Married Couples


By Carey Dyer, Dena Dyer

Barbour Publishing, Inc.

Copyright © 2016 Carey Dyer and Dena Dyer
All rights reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-63409-990-5



CHAPTER 1

LOVE ON THE ROAD


Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.

Ephesians 4:2–3


HE SAYS

The time shortly before we started dating can best be summed up by an old split-panel Far Side cartoon. A girl on one side is lying wide awake in bed, saying, "I think he really likes me!" On the other side lies the male object of her affection, who says to himself, "I really like vanilla."

We met in a traveling singing group and spent two years on the road with six other college graduates from all over the United States. Dena, being closely tuned in to God's radar and having unknowingly journaled about me since the age of twelve, saw right off the bat that we would be good together. Still, being the good Christian girl she was raised to be, she never made any advances.

I was just glad to have a close friend on what was, at times, a lonely road trip. For the longest time, I honestly never thought about Dena in "that way." I treated her more like a good-natured dog who would jump up in the truck with you than the delicate, rose-scented love goddess she is.

Our relationship was complicated by the fact that I openly flirted with other girls and talked about them in front of Dena. After all, she was my good buddy, and we could talk about anything:

Me: Wow, did you see that cute waitress? If we were gonna be in town longer, I'd ask her out! Could you pass the salt?

Dena: (thinking as she exits to the ladies' room to cry) Sure, here's the salt. Why don't you just rub it in my emotional wounds?


Clueless. Brainless. Whatever you call it, I had a double dip. Finally, thank the good Lord above, I woke up one morning and it was all crystal clear. I didn't just like vanilla; I liked Dena! The feeling gently washed over me like warm sunlight. And it had only taken me a mere ten months longer than her to realize it!

I lovingly expressed my feelings for Dena at a truck stop. (Don't judge. Life on the road doesn't lend itself to private, romantic moments.) My honey should get extra jewels in her crown for not blurting out, "Well, it's about time!"

Yes, I finally came to my senses and arrived at the same place in my heart that she was. Nevertheless, I took the longest possible route and should have stopped somewhere along the way to ask for directions.


SHE SAYS

Because I had dated a few duds, I knew a catch when I saw one. Carey was the funniest person — but not at others' expense — I'd ever met. He had a passion for the Lord and was crazy about his family and friends. He was terrific with kids. He could also sing like a dream. And — he was darn cute.

It floored me that he didn't see how good we would be together. I could tell he enjoyed my company — after all, we spent most of our free time together. He confided in me his hopes and dreams, and he even talked to me about girls. Sigh.

I couldn't figure out how to leave the friend zone ... and just when I thought I couldn't stand it one more second, he'd burst my bubble.

Me: (thinking) I have to tell him how I feel. I can't go on like this, hiding my emotions. Surely he knows anyway. Everyone else in the group has figured it out. And isn't it obvious we are destined to be a couple? He needs to father my children....

Carey: I think it's such a turnoff when a girl makes the first move.


While he was chatting up the ski instructor we met on our day off in Aspen, I left the slopes in tears and found a pay phone (this was in 1994) and called my mom. Again.

"Mom," I gasped through tears. "He doesn't know I'm alive. It's never going to happen!"

"Dena," she said calmly, "we're just going to pray about it."

She prayed, and so did I. And one day Carey started acting differently around me. At first I thought it was just my wishful thinking.

Soon, though, he confessed that he saw me as more than a friend. Outwardly I said, "I've felt that way for a while," but inwardly I was singing the "Hallelujah Chorus" with the Brooklyn Tabernacle Choir backing me up.

Carey pursued me with the diligence he'd once reserved for trumpet and voice practice — and I enjoyed every single minute of it.

Dear reader, some things are worth waiting for.


Lord, thank You that Your timing is perfect, even when I think You're taking too long. Help us hold our expectations of You — and our spouses — loosely, trusting Your heart and Your plans for us.


TAKING OFF THE GLOVES

• What first attracted you to each other?

• Who made the first move?

• Recreate your first date.


TIPS FROM THE PROS

Go on a date once a week. And forget the fifty-fifty advice. When you both feel like you're giving 75 percent, that's probably about right.

— Elsie and Ronnie Harrel, married 27 years

CHAPTER 2

LOVE AT FIRST FIGHT


Starting a quarrel is like breaching a dam; so drop the matter before a dispute breaks out.

Proverbs 17:14


HE SAYS

It was love at first fight. One of the happiest days of our lives also contained our first fuss as a married couple. Dena and I may hold the record for the shortest amount of time between saying "I do" and "Oh no you didn't!"

As we pulled away from the church, wedded bliss became wedded blahs. As was the custom, my groomsmen had decorated our vehicle with an assortment of post-ceremony goodies: shaving cream, cans, and toilet paper. Although I had participated in similar hijinks at many weddings before, I'd never thought about what happens when the car starts moving down the open road. Stuff flies everywhere!

Being the neat freak I am, I wanted to spray off the car at one of those fifty-cent car washes (yes, fifty cents — this was 1995). In retrospect, perhaps I subconsciously wanted to stop and gather my thoughts because I was nervous about ... well, you know ... later that night.

I am much smarter now than I was then. I've learned the truth of these noble words from the poet Ogden Nash ("A Word to Husbands"):

To keep your marriage brimming
With love in the loving cup,
Whenever you're wrong, admit it;
Whenever you're right, shut up.


SHE SAYS

When Carey told me he wanted to stop and clean the car, my first thought was, Are you kidding me? I've been waiting my whole adult life for my wedding night. I've got Elisabeth Elliot's Passion and Purity dog-eared and underlined more than my Bible. And he wants to stop and wash the car!

I was, simply put, exasperated. As a girl who had just floated through her long-awaited dream wedding, I was extremely proud of our blingedout Buick. The cans, shaving cream, and Charmin streamers told the world, "We're hitched! She — and he — are off the market! No more blind dates, awkward rejections, or singles' mixers. Let the eternal happiness commence!"

Ironic, right?

I reluctantly agreed to let Carey pull over at the nearest car wash, with one caveat: he had to be quick. However, once he started spraying water and pulling items off the car, it seemed he couldn't stop. For the love of Pete, he started detailing the thing.

Now I wasn't just flummoxed. I was furious. And Carey was confused. He hadn't a clue what he had done wrong, poor guy.

Thankfully, we had a forty-five-minute drive to our hotel. Along the way, Carey made me laugh so hard that I almost forgot what I was mad about. And when we got to our hotel room — which was on the concierge floor, a huge splurge for us — we decided to make up in the best possible way.

Father, thank You for the gift of laughter. Thank You, too, for the gift of our spouses. When our polar opposite personalities rub each other the wrong way, help us be quick to forgive. Remind us that those qualities that irritate us are the very ones that attracted us to our mate in the first place. And thank You for the gift of affection, which helps strengthen our relationship.


TAKING OFF THE GLOVES

• We've heard it said that weaknesses are just strengths gone too far. How would it help you if you could reframe those things that annoy you and see them as your spouse's strengths?

• If possible, take a personality test together and discuss the results. You'll most likely see things from a different perspective. (Dena says: "When I went through a personality course, I realized that Carey wasn't out to get me — he was just doing things that came naturally. It was incredibly helpful!")

• Look through your wedding album or watch the recording together and reminisce about how young, idealistic — and in love — you were.


TIPS FROM THE PROS

Be present for your spouse, physically and emotionally. Choose your battles. Live with each other's idiosyncrasies. Laugh at yourself.

— Bill and Judy Vriesema, married 33 years

CHAPTER 3

SOUR GRAPES AND THROWN TOMATOES


House and land are handed down from parents, but a congenial spouse comes straight from GOD.

Proverbs 19:14 MSG


HE SAYS

The tiny kitchen in our first apartment was the stage for our second heated discussion. The ink was still drying on our marriage license, and Dena brought home our very first load of groceries. As we (translation: she) began to stock the fridge with the best food coupons could buy, I noticed that her "method" for organizing the food in the refrigerator was different than mine — that is, she didn't have a method. There was no rhyme or reason to what food went where. (I mean, they label those drawers and bins for a reason, right? The names are there to help you!)

At this point, I want to point out a pattern you may have noticed by now. Several of the disagreements early in our marriage stemmed from Dena's lack of attention to detail and my borderline OCD overattention to detail.

That should give you a little more context to what I said next. As poor, innocent Dena randomly dumped groceries into the refrigerator, giving no consideration to container dimensions (doesn't everyone put the liquid jugs in shortest to tallest?), I thought that the loving, caring thing to do was to give her a piece of friendly advice. "Honey," I said, "thanks so much for getting the groceries. But when it comes to putting them away, I think you might benefit from an orderly system I learned from my mother."

It's a good thing there wasn't an iron skillet in our almost-kitchen, or I'd have been seeing stars. Take my advice, men: in the name of hospital emergency rooms everywhere, never invoke the name of your mother for at least the first year of marriage.

Don't get me wrong; my mom is a wonderful person, and Dena loves her very much. However, new brides are usually insecure about "measuring up" to the matriarch of their hubby's family. Hindsight is twenty-twenty. I definitely should have held my OCD tongue on that occasion, spared my wife's feelings, and gone on to other detailoriented pursuits, like counting the exact number of stairs leading away from our apartment.


SHE SAYS

I was infuriated when Carey mentioned how my mother-in-law liked the fridge arranged. After an hour of coupon clipping and two hours of shopping (in the Texas heat, no less), being oh-so-careful with our minuscule grocery budget, I think my exact words to him were, "If you want to go get the groceries, you can arrange them any way you want." As they're wont to do, my nostrils flared when I said it. And my face turned as red as the tomatoes I'd bought on clearance.

Carey's mom cooks like a chef and keeps a spotless house, no matter what, and it's hard not to compare myself to her (even after twenty years). Not that she would ever make me feel bad; she's as sweet as they come. Believe me, I can give myself a guilt trip all on my own.

Thankfully, I have learned over these past two decades to revel in my gifts instead of comparing myself to other moms and wives. After all, there will always be someone who is thinner, prettier, richer, a better cook/writer/etc., than me. However, God has lovingly reminded me — over and over — that He created me just as I am. He placed me in the position of Carey's wife (and Jordan and Jackson's mom) in His perfect providence.

When I rest in that, I'm much less likely to throw those tomatoes at Carey.

God, give us the grace to see each other's gifts instead of our limitations. Help us think before we speak and be patient with one another when our differences clash. We love You, Lord, and we want to love each other well. Give us Your mercy as we seek to do so.


TAKING OFF THE GLOVES

• In what areas do you feel insecure? How could these insecurities be affecting your marriage?

• Encourage each other today in areas where you excel.

• Have you unfairly criticized your spouse lately? If so, humble yourself and apologize.


TIPS FROM THE PROS

Be the type of person you want to be around. Imagine walking in the front door after a hard day and receiving the kind of welcome you'd most like. Then give it.

— Anita Brooks, married 37 years

CHAPTER 4

MY LONE STAR SWEETHEART


Trust God from the bottom of your heart; don't try to figure out everything on your own. Listen for God's voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; he's the one who will keep you on track. Don't assume that you know it all.

Proverbs 3:5–7 MSG


HE SAYS

"Wow. Just ... wow."

That's pretty much what I thought the first time I laid eyes on the love of my life. Of course, I didn't know that she was the love of my life. And my exclamation wasn't like, "Wow, I've just seen the bearer of my children." It was more like, "Wow, do they really dress like that in Texas?"

Dena and I first met when we both auditioned for a touring musical group in Atlanta, Georgia. We hailed from different parts of the country. My Tennessee upbringing made me just about as country as corn bread, but even I wasn't prepared for the "Ding Dong Dolly from Dumas, Texas," who stood before me.

For whatever reason, that particular day Dena decided to wear a dress covered in a print featuring colorful cowboy boots. Her ruby-red lipstick topped it all off, as if she were just waiting to follow up a "Howdy!" with a ruby-red kiss on my cheek.

I mean, Dena did look cute — she can't help but look cute, even if she were wearing a burlap sack — but really? Her dress looked like she was representing Texas in the new "obsessed with my home state" portion of the Miss America pageant.

I guess first impressions can be deceiving at times, because I fell head-over-boots for that little Texas gal ... and evidently, she doesn't mind corn bread.


SHE SAYS

When I first met Carey, I remember him acting overfriendly, like a puppy dog. I thought, Back off, buster! I'm not looking to find a man. I just want to serve God and be a part of this singing group. He was gregarious and friendly then, and he still is after twenty years. I didn't know he was being nice; I thought he was flirting. And it's funny — I almost never dressed in Western clothes, and I can't remember why I chose to embrace my Texas roots so thoroughly that day.

First impressions can definitely be wrong, and quick assumptions are often faulty. In our marriage, we've learned to question assumptions about the other person. For instance:

• Is he acting rude and/or angry? A wise counselor once told me that all anger is rooted in fear. Instead of taking things personally, pray for God to give you wisdom and patience. When your mate cools off, gently ask him if there is anything he needs to talk about.

• Is she crying and/or being snippy? Instead of assuming it's just hormones and you'll never understand her, pray and ask God for discernment. In a less stressful moment, offer to listen and support her without giving quick fixes.


It takes humility to try and understand our spouses, but this relationship, above all others, is worth the effort we put into it.

Our Great Provider, thank You for allowing us to meet and fall in love. Forgive us when we assume things or jump to conclusions. Help us to come toward each other with hearts full of humility, gratitude, and unselfishness.


TAKING OFF THE GLOVES

• Talk about your first impressions of each other. Were they positive or negative? How did your assumptions change?

• Honestly assess whether either of you is still making assumptions in a specific area of marriage (sex, money, work). As our relationships change, so do our needs and desires.

• Just for fun, look back at old pictures of the two of you. If you're brave, post some on social media.


(Continues...)

Excerpted from Love at First Fight by Carey Dyer, Dena Dyer. Copyright © 2016 Carey Dyer and Dena Dyer. Excerpted by permission of Barbour Publishing, Inc..
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

Table of Contents

Contents

INTRODUCTION,
PART 1: COMING OUT SWINGING,
PART 2: TREATING OUR WOUNDS,
PART 3: RETREATING TO OUR CORNERS,
PART 4: NEEDING A REFEREE,
PART 5: STILL STANDING,
RECOMMENDED RESOURCES,
ABOUT THE AUTHORS,
SCRIPTURE INDEX,

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Love at First Fight: 52 Story-Based Meditations for Married Couples 4.5 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 19 reviews.
ReadersFavorite More than 1 year ago
Reviewed for Readers Favorite by Tshombye K. Ware Love at First Fight: 52 Story-Based Meditations for Married Couples by Carey and Dena Dyer is a devotional book on the relationships of married couples according to God's principles. The book is practical and fundamental, ensuring an educational read. The authors have shared a book taken from chapters of their lives. This stylistic approach makes the book real. A profound quote taken from the book is something astounding. "Be present for your spouse, physically and emotionally. Choose your battles. Live with each other’s idiosyncrasies. Laugh at yourself." — Bill and Judy Vriesema, married 33 years. The authors summed up how to have an effective marriage in that one statement. It is so critical to pay attention to your spouse and to respect their differences. Every argument doesn't need to result in a battle. As the authors stated above, "Choose your battles." The book continues from there to educate, from a testimonial place, with nuggets of wisdom on the topic of maintaining or developing a God honored marriage. The writing is interactive and places readers in the driver's seat as they witness wisdom and knowledge on marriage while being educated. Anyone who reads this book will walk away with gems of wisdom to create a more productive marriage. Throughout the book, the authors have also inserted tips from pros to help drive home the overall purpose of this book: to empower, educate, and equip readers with necessary wisdom for perfecting their marriages. I would not only recommend this book for married couples, but also for those who are seeking to become married.
mymissdaisy More than 1 year ago
What a delightful resource for couples. I loved that the book is set up for couples to study together with 52 Meditations. Allowing couples to spend a year together strengthening their marriage. Each devotion includes prayer scripture and action steps to work on together. Also included are Tips from Pro's. A very short section at the end of each devotional. I enjoyed reading the tips from various sources. This is a great and helpful book for all couples. Even if you've never done a study or devotional together this is a good place to start. I recommend Love At First Fight for all couples. I received a complimentary copy from Barbour Publishing in exchange for my honest review.
LoriP123 More than 1 year ago
This is great marriage resource. It is a 52 story-based meditations for married couples with both the husband and wife's point of views. This study can give you the insight of understanding that all marriages have ups and downs, discover that having a strong marriage is always possible while practicing better communication and prayer for one another. I was given an ARC for an honest review. All conclusions are mine and mine alone.
Cheri5 More than 1 year ago
Love at First Fight is a great book. It contains short devotionals that inspire, encourage and help couples feel that their relationship is “normal.” It has a prayer, Scripture, the husband and wife’s point of view and offers insight into some of the struggles that couples face in marriage. There are even questions every day to help the couples dig deeper into their own relationship to help strengthen it, if they want. As I’m reading this book, I feel like I’m getting to know the authors and becoming friends. I highly recommend this book - all the wonderful content is packaged into bite size chunks that allow the couples to chew on it individually or together.
Mama_Cat More than 1 year ago
Have you ever felt as if your marriage is a battle, or that you don’t understand your spouse? ‘Love at First Fight’ by Carey and Dena Dyer is a unique, Christ-centered devotional for couples that can help bring them closer together or help one spouse if the other isn’t ready for it. There are many beneficial things that this real-life married-almost-20-years team share. It is a must-read for Christian couples, whether newly-wed or together for years. The authors are transparent with their feelings and struggles and how they learned to work through them – not in their own strength but in the Lord’s. They share humor, showing how to laugh at oneself or the situation. Each devotion is a starting place for couples to converse with each other. One thing they demonstrate is that, while each person and couple is unique, there are many ways we are alike. Many husbands and wives are complete opposites. Many spouses are afraid to share their feelings, fears or failures with anyone, much less their spouse. Carey and Dena are blessed examples that others might have had the same struggles. Learning to speak with and listen to one’s spouse can bring positive changes over time, especially when each begins to have empathy for each other, also allowing a couple to seek a solution together in a way pleasing to the Lord. The authors address challenges common to many couples, and challenges that effect some couples and not others. The devotions begin with the early days of marriage and go through various life stages such as having children, raising children, or looking at aging situations. These include if one of the spouses has a chronic illness and the other spouse has to step up in ways that neither anticipated, if a spouse has lost a job and struggles to find a new one, or if a spouse is dealing with depression. A topic not addressed, probably since the authors did not personally experience it, would be one or both spouses having children from prior marriages and the variety of challenges that can result. I do feel that using this couple’s pattern of devotions, these and other challenges can be peacefully discussed and worked through. Each devotion begins with a scripture apropos to the conversational, story-based devotion, then each spouse writes from their point of view and what they learned. They include a prayer, then a section aptly called “Taking off the Gloves” where suggestions are made, based on the author’s experience through the Lord’s direction. These suggestions are a starting place for a couple to discuss their challenge while seeking a solution. The last part of each devotion is “Tips from the Pros”, literally a tip from someone who has been married for various numbers of years sharing something they learned in their marriage. Included is a list of ministries that address couples situations (such as Focus on the Family), a list of authors who write on marriage relationships (such as Gary Smalley), and a list of scriptures used. There is something for every couple at in this valuable book! I highly recommend ‘Love at First Fight’ to every couple (or even one spouse if the other isn’t ready). Couples preparing for marriage may also find some suggested discussions helpful, especially if guided by their pastor before the big day. With a grateful heart, I received a copy of this book from the publisher, Barbour Publishing, in exchange for an honest review. All opinions are my own, and no monetary compensation was received
lolly-pops More than 1 year ago
LOVE AT FIRST FIGHT is written by a husband and wife team. Mr. Dyer has an outstanding sense of humor which had me (and my daughter who read parts of it) in stitches. Both of them talked about different personality traits and how they as complete opposites learned to live with each other. The authors were both very transparent, shared their brokenness and stressed that they aren't experts, but want others to learn from their mistakes. A great book for newlywed couples.
Janet55 More than 1 year ago
This book would be a welcome addition to any home. It would be a wonderful gift to a newly engaged or newly married couple. I can also see the book being used as a study guide for a marriage encounter class or a young adult married class. The questions at the end of each chapter will encourage dialogue among the reader(s) or at the least thought provoking ideas. I plan on passing my copy along to my newly engaged daughter and her fiance. Highly recommend. I absolutely loved this book. Filled with insightful advice I feel this book would be a welcome addition to any home. I received a complimentary copy of this book from Barbour Publishing in exchange for my honest review.
Carolm More than 1 year ago
This is a great book for all people in a relationship. I think it would be a great wedding gift. And I will be giving it as a gift in the future. The advice is sound and I loved the format. It is in a he said/she said format backed up with scripture and tips for working thru marital issues at any stage in your marriage. I have been married over 37 years and I found the advice very true to form. Great book. I received a complimentary copy of this book from Barbour Publishing in exchange for my honest review.
readerscozycorner More than 1 year ago
I really enjoyed delving into this little devotional. I think it would be great for newlyweds especially. I like how the authors do a he said, she said format. It helps you to understand both sides of the argument or discussion. It was also nice to see a scripture to go along with the point they were making. The tips from the pros section was a nice touch as well as the taking the gloves off section, where they have discussion questions to get you talking as a couple. This devotional of sorts would be great for any married couple but I could see the newlyweds gaining the most from it. This would make a fabulous gift. I received this book from Barbour Publishing in exchange for my honest review. A positive review was not required.
RobbyeReviewer More than 1 year ago
Carey and Dena Dyer have given a thought-provoking and candid look into their marriage. In addition, to the story-based meditations the chapters are subtitled with He Says/She Says, Taking Off the Gloves, and Tips from the Pros. There are 5 sections to the book and each section includes an area for notes. The Dyers have drawn from their personal life, in all its grittiness, in order to assist couples in realizing a universal truth-every couple has ups, downs and moments of frustration. The frustrations usually result in questioning, occasionally, if the hassle is worth it. Love at First Fight is frequently humorous, sometimes painful and at all times honest. The narrative is easy to read, and the lessons are easy to apply. I feel Love at First Fight would make a great gift for any married couple, whether just starting out or long time married. The format is such that it could be a daily devotional read alone or with your spouse. I received a complimentary copy of this book from Barbour Publishing in exchange for my honest review.
DChatley More than 1 year ago
The authors (Carey and Dena) draw you into their story right from the beginning through both their vulnerability and their humorous perspective on their experiences as a married couple. You will find yourself both nodding your head in agreement as you see yourself in their stories and laughing out loud at the stories of differences between men and woman. I highly recommend this book to all engaged couples, and especially to all married couples whether newly married or married for a while now. No matter where you find yourself on the marriage journey, you are guaranteed to find yourself in their stories and pick up some practical help in the book. Note: this book could be read straight through as just a practical book or it could be used as a devotional for couples or a devotional for just a wife or a husband. I do think it would be best used as a couple’s devotional where you do a chapter a day. Reason being, the format of each chapter starts with a verse, then includes both his and her’s perspective on the topic at hand, and also includes a prayer, some discussion questions, and lastly a quote from another married couple. I personally read the book cover to cover for the purposes of getting an overall sense of the book for review purposes. But in so doing, I definitely missed some of the power elements of the book as I was just reading over the discussion questions. Whereas if a couple used this book as a daily devotional, these discussion questions would be good conversation starters to go even deeper on the topic at hand. Some of the key lessons that jumped out at me during the reading of this book are first of all the fact that they point out the value of laughter in a marriage. At one point, the authors describe their household as two scoops of crazy. In the process, they are reminding us that life is meant to be enjoyed, not endured and that husband and wife should be friends as well as lovers. Another key lesson that is emphasized is the need to really get to know your spouse, understand what makes them tick and go out of your way to be a blessing to your spouse. In fact, I picked up many practical tips on how to do this in my marriage in this book. Quite a few chapters include very specific tips to address various scenarios encountered in marriage between 2 different people such as: fighting fair, dealing with your differences, adding romance, surviving the low points of marriage, and handling busy schedules. My two favorite chapters were “Translation please” and “When a Toaster marries a Crock Pot”. I don’t want to give anything away but suffice it to say that “Translation please” talks about how men and woman talk 2 different languages sometimes and how we need an application to assist with understanding what they are saying. Read this chapter for more on “trans-mate”. The chapter “When a Toaster marries a Crock Pot” is about married couples where one is a morning person and the other is not and man could I relate to this chapter. I first laughed out loud at the very accurate metaphors and then had to read it out loud to my husband so he could share in my humor. So get a copy of this book, sit down and read it alone or with your spouse and prepare to learn while you are entertained. Note: I received a complimentary copy of this book from Barbour Publishing in exchange for my honest review.
Danny_G More than 1 year ago
It is almost a universal truth that two people, will at some point, have a difference of views. Ideally, this difference will play out in the each trying to understand the other and come to a mutual understanding. However, real life does not always follow the ideal. One of ways in which differences of opinions arise is in marriage. Two people come together in matrimony for the betterment of each other...right? Not so fast. Marriage often brings about these differences and in the process can create some heated tension. In their book, Love at First Fight, the Dyers understand that these heated tensions can happen and give 52 meditations on how to seek to understand the other person. In addition, they seek to have these meditations bring a married couple together to grow and connect as partners. I found this book to a great conversation starter. It wasn't too instructional in nature which allowed for each couple to express their unique approach but with stated guidelines. These guidelines have, at their heart, the goal of drawing couples to understand before trying to be understood. And that this book does very well. I received a complimentary copy of this book from Barbour Publishing in exchange for my honest review
sgreene01 More than 1 year ago
As one who has been married for over 43 years with what I would consider a very wonderful Christian marriage, I don't always enjoy reading books written by those who have been married very few years in comparison. Carey & Dena Dyer, who have been married for 20 years, offer share wonderful stories of their own marriage, from he said/she said viewpoints, that are applicable for everyone, from newlyweds to those married for many, many years. I particularly enjoyed the "Taking off the gloves" section at the end of each meditation that gave questions to be discussed with your spouse of aspects of your own marriage regarding the issue presented in the chapter. My husband and I found ourselves discussing these and being able to share, in depth, our feelings. I would definitely recommend this book to all married couples. I received a complimentary copy of this book from Barbour Publishing in exchange for my honest review.
Chaplain-Debbie_777 More than 1 year ago
Fun and informative This book is a compilation of stories/advice from various couples....those married just a few years to some married over 50 years. It's filled with tips on how to keep a happy home and has advice to help weather the storms, sometimes in a very witty way. It gives both the male and female points of view. Whether you are struggling in your marriage or simply want to keep your marriage going strong, you will find something useful in this book. I received a complimentary copy of this book from Barbour Publishing in exchange for my honest review.
MPeitsch More than 1 year ago
Love at First Fight is a great compilation of stories (from both "his" and "hers" perspectives, which was nice), Bible verses, discussion questions, and advice from other married couples and individuals. There were some meditations that I wished could have been longer, as it's hard to cover some of the hairier aspects of marriage in just a couple pages, but overall it was easy to read, funny, real, and engaging. Great for married couples of all ages and stages in life to read, either together or separately. I received a complimentary copy of this book from Barbour Publishing in exchange for my honest review.
StephieJ More than 1 year ago
This is a great book. The book shares personal stories from the husband and wife's point of view. It's a funny book too. At the end of each section it has discussion questions. It's a great book for married couples to read together and it will help get some dialogue going in your marriage. "I received a complimentary copy of this book from Barbour Publishing in exchange for my honest review."
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I was really touched by how transparent the authors are right from the start. They shared their humanness and how they aren’t experts in the marriage field, but they wrote in hopes that other couples would avoid making the same mistakes they did and that was touching. I love the cover and the title as most couples see marriage at times just like putting on gloves with one coming out of the ring as a winner and the other not. However, these stories show us that both can come out winners and neither mate should be considered an enemy. I know it can be hard to put yourself out there with your flaws where everyone can see them but I really enjoyed the personal stories they shared. I am grateful Carey and Dena were willing to put themselves out there to help others strengthen their marriages. I read it and laughed out loud at some of the stories from Carey and Dena’s marriage and could often see myself doing the same things. I received a copy of this book from Barbour Publishing in exchange for my honest review
rhondaryser More than 1 year ago
Honest, Entertaining, and Helpful. Love at First Fight is a great devotional for couples who are considering marriage, newly married and those who have been married for years. It has helpful ways to work through different types of situations husbands and wives encounter early in marriage with honest and sometimes embarrassing examples. I would have loved to have had this book when I first married, it has covered so many aspects that my husband and I have gone through. I plan to pass it along to my son and his wife. I received a complimentary copy of this book from Barbour Publishing in exchange for my honest review.
CK11 More than 1 year ago
Love at First Fight by Carey and Dena Dyer is, in my humble opinion, a must read for every married couple. It is a compilation of 52 easy to read and understand devotionals. There was not a single one I could not relate to though some touched me more deeply due to the place in life our marriage is. Each devotional consists of a short story, prayer, questions or suggestions for activities to try and a tip from the pros. The book is well organized into sections dealing with a variety of topics that present themselves in every marriage. I know it can be hard to put yourself out there with your flaws where everyone can see them but I really enjoyed the personal stories they shared. I am grateful Carey and Dena were willing to put themselves out there to help others strengthen their marriages. I read it and laughed out loud at some of the stories from Carey and Dena’s marriage and could often see myself doing the same things. My husband is waiting his turn to read it and then we will read it together and work through the suggestions together. I highly recommend this book to all couples and believe it will make a wonderful wedding gift. I received a copy of this book from Barbour Publishing in exchange for my honest review.