Love First 2nd Edition: A Family's Guide to Intervention

Love First 2nd Edition: A Family's Guide to Intervention

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Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781592856619
Publisher: Hazelden Publishing
Publication date: 10/15/2008
Edition description: Second Edition
Pages: 360
Sales rank: 73,125
Product dimensions: 5.30(w) x 8.30(h) x 0.90(d)

About the Author

Jeff Jay is a professional interventionist, educator, and author. His work has appeared on CNN, The Jane Pauley Show, PBS, Forbes Online and professional journals. He is a graduate of the University of Minnesota, and a certified addictions professional. He has served as president of the Terry McGovern Foundation in Washington, DC, and on the boards of directors for several professional organizations. He and Debra Jay head a national private practice that provides intervention and crisis management services. He is a former clinician with Sacred Heart Rehabilitation Center. His personal recovery from addiction dates from October 4, 1981."I am passionate about intervention for a very simple reason," says Jeff. "Intervention saved my life."

Debra Jay is in private practice with Jeff Jay, providing intervention training and consultation services for families. She specializes in older adult intervention. She previously worked as an addiction specialist. She is a nationally known speaker and has been writing a newspaper column on alcohol and drugs since 1996. Debra has regularly appeared on the Oprah Winfrey Show.

Table of Contents


Foreword George McGovern xi Preface xiii Acknowledgments xvii Note to the Reader xix Section 1 Insights into Alcoholism and Other Drug Addictions 1 Love First 3 What Does It Take to Get an Alcoholic or Addict to Accept Help? 6 Are You Barking Up the Wrong Tree? 9 When You and the Alcoholic Are Speaking Different Languages 11 When Keeping You Off Balance Is a Good Thing for an Alcoholic or Addict 13 What Science Has Learned about the Genetics of Addiction 18 The Addicted Brain 24 Eleven Misconceptions about Chemical Dependency 29 Section 2 Understanding Family Responses 33 Good Intentions Can Take You Down the Wrong Road 35 Combine Love with Denial and You Have Innocent Enabling 38 Combine Reality with Fear and You Have Desperate Enabling 42 What Are the "Rewards" of Enabling? 47 Detachment: A New Recipe 51 Are You Seeing the Addict as a Bad Person or as a Sick Person? 54 Using the Power of the Group 58 Section 3 Preparing for an Intervention 63 Building a Team 65 A Few Things to Consider before Picking Up the Phone 71 Involving Doctors and Other Professionals 75 Involving the Workplace 80 Finalizing Your Team 84 Becoming Aware of the Influence of the Group 87 Understanding the Role of Leverage 89 What Do You Need to Know? 96 Using the Planner 98 Keeping Tabs on Your Progress 103 Calling Treatment Centers and Asking Questions 105 Choosing a Date and Time 107 Choosing a Place 111 Selecting a Chairperson 115 Do You Need a Professional Interventionist? 118 Choosing Inpatient over Outpatient Treatment 121 Finding Low-Cost or No-Cost Treatment 123 Writing a Letter to Your Addicted Loved One 126 Letters Written for Real Interventions 135 Your Bottom Line 140 Section 4 The Intervention 147Listing Possible Objections and Your Answers 149 Rehearsing the Intervention 155 Some Thoughts for Intervention Day 160 Notes for the Chairperson 163 Making Team Decisions 167 Intervening on an Adolescent 170 Intervening on Someone Over Age Fifty-five 176 What an Intervention Looks Like 184 Intervention: A Portrayal 186 A Different Ending 194 Helping without a Family Intervention 200 Executive-Style Intervention 203 Section 5 After the Intervention 209 Talking to People Who Did Not Take Part in the Intervention 211 Sending Your Intervention Letters to the Counselor 214 Understanding What Goes On during Treatment 217 Preparing for Objections during Treatment 224 Supporting the Alcoholic or Addict during Treatment 228 Your First Al-Anon Meeting 231 A Few Words about Alcoholics Anonymous 235 Preparing for the Possibility of Relapse 238 Using Family Intervention for Other Problems 243 An Instrument of Love 257 Section 6 Tools and Resources 259 Tools 259 Building a Team 261 The Planner 262 The Checklist 271 Enabling Behaviors 274 Evaluating Treatment Centers 276 Objections and Answers 279 Bottom Lines 284 Family and Friends Commitment Statement 287 Self-Quizzes 289 Quiz: Is a Family Member Chemically Dependent? 290 Quiz: Signs of Alcoholism and Drug Abuse in Older People 292 Quiz: Is Our Teen Chemically Dependent? 294 Quiz: Signs of Inhalant Use in Our Teen 296 Quiz: Are You Troubled by Someone's Drinking? 298 The Jellinek Curve 300 Resources 301 Web Sites 301 Books and Publications 303 Twelve Step Organizations 304 Alcohol and Drug Treatment Centers 306 Low-Cost Alcohol and Drug Treatment Centers 309 Alcohol and Drug Treatment Centers for Special Populations 312 Help Lines 317 Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous 318 Index 319 About the Authors 331

What People are Saying About This

'Building a team, choosing a chairperson, anticipating objections, using checklists, and rehearsing for the intervention itself. The reader will find it all here!' - Robert M. Morse, M.D., Professor of Psychiatry Emeritus, Mayo Medical School

'The most comprehensive book available on the technique of intervention, Love First will save lives!' - Kathy Ketcham, coauthor, Beyond the Influence and The Spirituality of Imperfection

'A landmark book that gives families life-saving tools to help get a loved one into recovery. Bravo!' - Jim Ramstad, United States Congressional Representative

'A no-nonsense approach to how to save someone you love from the ravages of addiction disease.'  - William Cope Moyers, author of Broken

 'A significant contribution to intervention literature, and an empowering antidote to the disease of addiction.'  - William I. White, author of Slaying the Dragon: The History of Addiction Treatment

'I am truly excited about the book Love First. Families and loved ones who read this look at intervention will find the keys to begin the process of recovery. ' - John T. Schwarzlose, President, Betty Ford Center

'A convincing new approach to intervention that puts love and respect first.' - Jack Canfield, coauthor, Chicken Soup for the Soul series

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Love First 2nd Edition: A Family's Guide to Intervention 4.3 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 6 reviews.
April Dodge More than 1 year ago
Thorough guide on intervention with lots of resources. Helped me get my loved ine in treatment.
Anonymous 8 months ago
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Anonymous More than 1 year ago
The strategies in this book, and the tone set by the authors, made all the difference in the world in getting our loved one into a carefully selected treatment program that was a great match for him. We followed these instructions precisely and they worked perfectly. Our son is now six months sober and returning to college next week. I'm very grateful to Jeff Jay and Debra Jay for their expertise and the love and leadership they shared with my family.
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