ISBN-10:
0195131029
ISBN-13:
2900195131023
Pub. Date:
06/28/1999
Publisher:
Oxford University Press
Love Is a Story: A New Theory of Relationships / Edition 1

Love Is a Story: A New Theory of Relationships / Edition 1

by Robert J. Sternberg

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Overview

Love Is a Story: A New Theory of Relationships / Edition 1

In this groundbreaking work, Robert Sternberg opens the book of love and shows you how to discover your own story -- and how to read your relationship in a whole new light.

What draws us so strongly to some people and repels us from others? What makes some relationships work so smoothly and others burst into flames? Sternberg gives us new answers to questions by showing that the kind of relationship we create depends on the kind of love stories we carry inside us. Drawing on extensive research and fascinating examples of real couples, Sternberg identifies 26 types of love stories -- including the fantasy story, the business story, the collector story, the horror story, and many others -- each with its distinctive advantages and pitfalls, and many of which are clashingly incompatible. These are the largely unconscious preconceptions that guide our romantic choices, and it is only by becoming aware of the kind of story we have about love that we gain the freedom to create more fulfiling and lasting relationships. As long as we remain oblivious to the role our stories play, we are likely to repeat the same mistakes again and again. But the enlivening good news this book brings us is that though our stories drive us, we can revise them and learn to choose partners whose stories are more compatible with our own.

Quizzes in each chapter help you to see which stories you identify with most strongly and which apply to your partner. Are you a traveler, a gardener, a teacher, or something else entirely? Love is a Story shows you how to find out.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 2900195131023
Publisher: Oxford University Press
Publication date: 06/28/1999
Edition description: New Edition
Pages: 256
Product dimensions: 6.00(w) x 1.25(h) x 9.00(d)

About the Author

Robert J. Sternberg, Ph.D., is IBM Professor of Psychology and Education at Yale University. He is the coauthor of Satisfaction in Close Relationships, the author of Successful Intelligence, Thinking Styles and many other books and articles. He lives in Hamden, Connecticut.

Table of Contents

PREFACE ix
I THE STORIES WE TELL
3(46)
Love as a Story
3(10)
Our Multiple Stories of Love
13(8)
Story Elements
21(5)
Some Kinds of Stories
26(5)
Where Do Stories Come From, and Where Can They Go?
31(18)
II LOVE STORIES
49(170)
Asymmetrical Stories
49(41)
The Teacher-Student Story
49(6)
The Sacrifice Story
55(5)
The Government Story
60(8)
The Police Story
68(7)
The Pornography Story
75(7)
The Horror Story
82(8)
Object Stories
90(45)
PERSON AS OBJECT
90(18)
The Science-Fiction Story
90(6)
The Collection Story
96(6)
The Art Story
102(6)
RELATIONSHIP AS OBJECT
108(27)
The House and Home Story
109(6)
The Recovery Story
115(6)
The Religion Story
121(6)
The Game Story
127(8)
Coordination Stories
135(30)
The Travel Story
135(6)
The Sewing and Knitting Story
141(6)
The Garden Story
147(5)
The Business Story
152(5)
The Addiction Story
157(8)
Narrative Stories
165(28)
The Fantasy Story
165(6)
The History Story
171(8)
The Science Story
179(6)
The Cookbook Story
185(8)
Genre Stories
193(26)
The War Story
193(5)
The Theater Story
198(6)
The Humor Story
204(5)
The Mystery Story
209(10)
III IMPLICATIONS
219(12)
Testing the Story View
219(6)
What Is Love?
225(6)
NOTES 231(6)
INDEX 237

What People are Saying About This

Judith Sills

"Love is a Story come to us from one of America's most insightful and clearheaded thinkers on the perplexing subject of love. I've long been a fan of Robert Sternberg, whose theories of relationships have proven enourmously useful in my own work." -- Author of bestselling Excess Bagge, and Loving Men More, Needing Men Less

Roy F. Baumeister

"This is an entertaining and thought provoking look at the variety of love relationships. As usual, Sternberg takes an ancient, familiar problem and offers a novel, creative approach." -- Author of Breaking Hearts: The Two sides of Unrequited Love

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